becky23

We are all hurting, but if you talk to more and more people, and post on here, you realize that the behavior of our ex's, men or women, is NOT normal. No one deserves this treatment. As i talk it out and post here, I realize how sick it really does sound that I have been putting up with this treatment. If we all step out and away from this situation for a while, we will have so much more clarity, and soon, we will wonder, "what was I thinking." Its so tough, but I hope we all stay strong, especially this weekend. Look at how many people, including Kellbell, who were in horrible relationships, but are now with a wonderful person who treats them well... It hurts, but I am trying to remember that even if my ex may already be with someone else, or not caring like i do, they are not worth it. We will be so happy soon, i know it!

Very true Seabisquit... I can't even think of doing half of the things my ex did to me. I am not cruel, and you are right, I don't know how he could say or do what he does to someone he loves. It just really gets me down that regardless of my side he didn't like, I was so good to him through love, loyalty, and care. He didnt see that.. It hurts me, as well as the fact that he may have already moved on. ...

Im sorry everyone if it seems like I post about the same things. It really encourages me though to hear all of your comments and replies. I may sound like a broken record, but Im getting stronger each day, and jumping over new hurdles I thought Id never get over. This one thing just keeps bothering me!

Sad Now. Its crazy isn't it?? He has been so cruel, blames everything on me, yet I still care and wonder who he is with, if he has found another girl. People have told me he will treat her the same way as me, and Im sorry if I repeat my posts, but my gosh, i can't get past this one hump! He hasn't called me, acts like he doesn't care, and that just bothers me that after so long together, he acts like this!

Hey Everyone, I am getting closer each day to a happier, stronger life. I have under "Healing after Breakup....." in regards to how my ex and I of almost 3 years broke up. The fact that he has been verbally abusive, controlling of me, and didnt show much care to me should be enough, but im still having trouble with the fact that he may have already moved on with another girl. He went on link removed like the day we broke up, so maybe he is already spending time with someone else, and thats why he hasn't even had the inclination to call me. It really hurts me, because he would jump on these dating sights while we were TOGETHER, either to find a casual girl, or to make me want to think about my behavior seeing that he is "looking elsewhere." That behavior hurt me so much, but anyways, after all the cruel things he has done to me, it still hurts me to think that he may have moved on. He wnated to give me another chance if I WORKED on MY problems, but he showed no effort on his part to change, and hasn't called me in a week. Its the weekend, Im doing a lot better, I just need some peace of mind on this. Many of you have suggested posting if I feel the urge to contact him, so I am. thank you

thanks so much! It helps so much to actually write it out and express it here because i realize, wow, he really is no good. im moving forward and doing better each day. it hurts, but the pain of him ignoring me, yelling at me, outweighs the good times, as well as the pain of separating from him. I will post if I feel weak again, but I know what I need to do. thanks to everyone, i appreciate every response.

The thing is with him, he is very sweet most of the time, but I have heard him talk to her, AND hang up on her as well, like I would never dream of talking to my mom. Yes, his mom can be frustrating sometimes but I would never disrespect my mom the way he does no matter what. He hangs up with her sometimes and calls her an idiot. He is nice to waitresses, but the thing is as we are leaving a restaurant, he can yell at me at the top of his lungs while we are in his car, and people on the streets are staring at us!

He is 35, and not to be mean, but he has never had a successful relationship. He even told me, and I DO remember this in the beginning of our relationship, that the mark on his car was because some girl may have keyed it. Im not the only one that he fights with obviously, but at least im not cruel. I don't know if he will ever change which is sad. He is the only child, didn't have the greatest childhood, and even talks rude to his own mother sometimes, and has called her an idiot when he gets off the phone with her on more than one occasion. I don't even think im capable of doing some of the things he does on a daily basis.

Im sorry for all the posts, but I am doing a lot better, just have one general question. My ex was very verbally and emotionally abusive to me. I was no perfect person, but it seemed that he raged for things that normal people would calmly talk through, or at least solve in a civil manner. My ex would ignore me, tell me to shut up, or put most of the blame on me, when things were his fault as well. Are people like my ex going to treat every woman like that, even if there is no age gap? Was it really because I was a lot younger, or I didn't give him what he wanted that he treated me like he did? I can be a pain in the a** sometimes, but when someone loves you, dont' they love you through those times as well? Im having a hard time getting past the fact that it may just be me, and the next woman he dates will not make him react the way he did with me.

I thought he may be doing it to "get my attention" but he seemed mad when I found out that I was looking to see if he was on it. Either way, thats a nasty thing to do. He tells me its over for good, then calls me back and tells me we can get back together if I do some "soul searching." Then I email him yest to tell him that what he did hurt me, and that its not just me who needs to work on things if we get back together, but he didn't respond. I don't know if he is really done with me for good, or is just playing games and ignoring me again, but either way he is being so cruel and uncaring.

he told me that when I wasn't with him, I gave him attitude on the phone. I did sometimes because he made me feel So insecure. Anyways, it was things that I see now a normal man would have sat down, talked them out with me, not yell, hang up, and ignore me over. I put up with SO Much crap from him, cruel things, and I was NEVER cruel to him. Anyways, I DID email him last night. That is why Im upset. I told him basically I want nothing to do with him anymore because of his attitude he doesn't care if I stay or go, and that he went on a dating sight so soon. He didn't respond to that email, and thats what kinda got me down. He tells me he loves me for 3 years, then can be so cruel. He told me to get back to him if and when I put all of my issues behind me, and he would take me back. What a nice guy huh??? I have to change my attitude, not lets work together, or he will work on his too. Whatever. Him not responding to my email or trying to win me back in positive ways is another insentive to leave this man be. I am doing better already, but it always helps to get it out. thanks again

My ex broke up with me last tues saying I needed to change my behavior, he couldn't put up with my mon-fri attitude, and he was done for good. He ended up calling me back and saying it was my attitude that caused the breakup, but if I could change and work on my behavior, eliminate what is causing my insecurities, he will give me another chance. I have given him SO many chances, stuck through him through his temper, anger, and cruel words, yet when something I do is too much for him, he breaks up with me.. But, he told me I could work on whatever it is thats causing me to act the way I am, and he would get back to me in a couple days. This was sunday. Well, as always whenever we get in fights or have problems, he tends to go on dating sights. Sure enough, he had been active within 24 hours on one sight. I emailed him last night that him going back on that sight so soon showed NO respect for me, why would I want to go back to someone that is always blaming me and never changing himself then rushes right out to find another girl, ONLINE! my self esteem is so low, and it hurt me that he didn't respond to my email, and didn't try to contact me. He has played with my head so much, saying its over, then he calls and says he misses me, now he ignores me again. I know that going back to a man who tells me to shut up, hangs up on me, and has broken some of my things in a rage is not a man to go back to. But, I just need to get back on my feet again because I think emailing him I don't want to see him anymore, than him not responding brought me down. NC from here, but I just blew it, AGAIN!

Just to update, he texted me last night as I was going to my girlfriends. He said just this, "U miss me?" I didn't respond, and he texd me again saying he missed me. To keep him from calling me, I just said, "im going out with some girlfriends, have a good night." He responded back with "come on babe, girlfriends? I love you." I didn't respond back, and he didn't bother me after, which I was surprised.. Normally if i ignore him he keeps texting back. Anyways, I stayed strong, and I have been having a great weekend with my family and friends, and not being bullied around by him. Its nice... Thanks so much for checking! You and everyone else have been a tremendous help. I will keep posting until he is out of my system if I have to. =)

Thank you everyone for the encouragement and thoughts. I read them every time I start to feel sad, and it really re directs my mindset. I actually had no urge to call him last night, missed him, but didn't feel like calling. Maybe its because I knew in the back of my mind, it would only lead to more hurt, blame, and emotional abuse. i think im so scared of the emotional and verbal abuse, that ignoring him and putting him completely out of my life will repair all the damage. You all are awesome, and Im truly doing a lot better already.

Yes, and I bet all he will do this weekend is sit on his couch, get st**ned, and play XBOX with his 30 year old friends. =) I won't have to hear him yell at me, tell me to shut up, ignore me, or tell me to leave ever again! Or hear him tell me to heel. =) yes! Its tough, but Im honestly not giving up much here, just the routine Im used to, but as you have all said, if I stay strong, soon I will be kicking myself for ever staying with him so long. Thank you all SO much. Each one of your responses has helped a lot.