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renaissancewoman101

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Everything posted by renaissancewoman101

  1. renaissancewoman101
    who broke up with who? If he broke up with you, he may just be fishing around to be friends because he is lonely or something like that. If you broke up with him, he probably is very hurt and wants you back so is asking to meet up with you, but leaving the ball in your court to see if you want to meet up.
  2. renaissancewoman101
    LB, you're brave. If I didn't have my daily dose of caffeine, I would have a headache the likes you wouldn't believe and ibuprofen doesnt that type of headache away.
  3. renaissancewoman101
    How did you find out about this and what made you decide to do this "detox"? You seem pretty healthy and you look healthy? I would think that not eating for a few days and just drinking liquids would not be healthy for you and could cause you to faint or something like that.
  4. renaissancewoman101
    Good for you for not drinking. Sometimes we have to go headfirst through the pain in order to get better. I know it hurts a lot and feels tough and IS tough, but post on here and read other people's threads on here and get some inspiration from that. A lot of people post on here to get support while they are struggling with a breakup, with personal issues, etc. This is a great support site and the people here are awesome. Welcome aboard.
  5. renaissancewoman101
    I think you should leave him and he's no good for you. He's taking you for granted, and the more you do for him, the more he will treat you badly and take you for granted. You've gone through a lot with your bipolar disorder and your drinking issues. You don't need to be adding to that mix with a bf who treats you badly and refuses to talk to you or be there for you on your terms. Everything has to be on HIS terms. That is NOT a relationship. He is using you as a doormat. For your own good and for your own sanity, leave him.
  6. renaissancewoman101
    You might have other things to worry about besides lying to your bf about your education. If you are listing incorrect information about your university education and your employer finds out, you can be summarily fired from your job because of your lying about your educational background.
  7. renaissancewoman101
    I agree with SB, tell him the truth so you can get it off your conscience. And after that, stop lying. Lies have a bad habit of building on themselves and you dig a bigger and bigger hole, until you get to the point that no one knows who you TRULY are, including yourself.
  8. renaissancewoman101
    Second time around, things can get better, only if you are BOTH willing to put the time and effort into making the change. Although if the both of you guys are inherently incompatible, then no. My ex and I were incompatible and we broke up the first time because of that. We came back together again because he missed me and we gave it a try, but eventually our incompatibilities came out and this time I lost interest and treated him like crap and he dumped me.
  9. renaissancewoman101
    HDD, is "Lady in the Water" a good movie? Always wanted to see that movie. I dont usually do much on a Friday night when I have no one in my life. I may hang out with some friends (but now my friends live two hours north of me) or just be by myself, go grab food, hang on here, or go drive around.
  10. renaissancewoman101
    Because you are showing that you don't care about the relationship and the sacredness of it, if you are sleeping around. Also you can get STD's and other nasties and give it to your SO. Because you are doing something behind somebody's back.
  11. renaissancewoman101
    Fnlyfrei, I DO think you should meet her and that your bf should have NO problem with it. If he does, then maybe he's hiding something. I am somewhat friends with my first ex (we broke up because he was gay) and when I told my bf at the time, that I was good friends with the gay ex, I made sure he met my ex best friend. We even went out and did things together as a group, a few times. But then I also hung out with the ex on my own because my current bf lived far away from me and there were times he and I couldnt see each other because of time or work constraints. BTW, I wasn't calling you a dipcrap, ok. I was referring to your bf, how he WAS NOT a dipcrap since he didnt want to burn his bridges and completely cut out all the people from his past.
  12. renaissancewoman101
    I dont think it is wrong to be friends with your ex's, just as long as you and they can keep the feelings out of it. Sometimes our ex's know us better than any other person and it is good to be on good terms with people. I am close friends with an ex and although he can be a drama queen at times and be a dipcrap, he is one of the few people who understands me the most. The guy I did date long-term got to meet my ex and even hung out a few times all three of us. My best friend ex lived in the same city with me, while my current bf at that time, lived two hours from me, so he understood about the friendship between my ex and I. Also, if you don't share the love of the same hobbies as your bf, he should be able to hang out with people that share those same hobbies. It doesnt mean that they are going to hook up or anything. They are just friends who share in a hobby that you may not care for. I dont really like how people here come down hard on posters who are friends with their ex's. Sometimes, a friendship with an ex, shows the new SO that the person is compassionate and not some dipcrap who burns all bridges from the past.
  13. renaissancewoman101
    I'mThatGirl, I understand how you are feeling. I am one of those types that will fight to stay in a relationship, no matter how bad it is for me, esp if I see the guy suffering and I know/think I know that I can help him. I've always been the person who likes to help people and I seem to pick guys who have some flaw or another and I get into relationships with them in order to try to help them, be there for them, etc. I don't think I am attracted to guys who have their crap together. So, with him and the lawyer appt, you feel guilty not being there for him because you think he is going to mess up without you being there and "talking" for him, and then if he messes up, then you are going to internalize it and blame YOURSELF for not being there to help him. Well, he is a BIG BOY now and it is up to HIM to speak up for his issues, take care of himself, etc. You dont need to take care of him and it doesnt help you any because he doesn't show you the same consideration when you need help. It's hard to break away from that because I've always had the mentality that I would rather help people and give up myself to help them. It always makes me sad when the person I love and care about, doesn't want my help and then I see them mess up. I kind of like to take care of people so they dont have to hurt. I think I am like this because I was never really "taken care" of emotionally while growing up and it was hard on me
  14. renaissancewoman101
    Guys can be weird. At least with the gay ex, he should definitely NOT worry that you are sleeping with him. In many ways your gay ex is probably like a good girlfriend to you. Mine's was. He was just a bit too emotional and crazy so our friendship is on the rocks right now.
  15. renaissancewoman101
    I don't understand why your bf would have a problem with your gay ex staying over. He's GAY for god's sake, so there DEFINITELY would not be any hanky panky going on. I think your bf is being a bit defensive there and should not punish you for having your GAY ex stay over. My best friend (who was also someone I had a long term relationship with) is gay and I used to hang with him. My now ex was ok with it, sort of.
  16. renaissancewoman101
    If I were you, I would just print out this letter and save it for yourself. If you REALLY feel the need to send it, wait a few days and see if you change your mind. Right now I think you are writing from your emotions and if you send this letter, you are going to let your ex know how much the breakup affected you and that is not always a good thing. Sometimes when you go on with your life, deal with the rejection, and dont send letters, the ex is MORE apt to think of you and reconsider why he/she broke up with you in the first place.
  17. renaissancewoman101
    I'm single right now (sort of) and don't have a bf. Do I love it? Yes and no. I DONT love it because I feel lonely a lot and dont have someone to share things with, do things with, spend time with, etc. I DO love it because I get to do what I WANT WHEN I WANT it, so it evens out for now. But, eventually, I do hope to meet someone who will be my SO. But no real hurry.
  18. renaissancewoman101
    In a way dating is kind of like a "seduction" where we put our best foot forward and doing some time of mating dance/ritual to show the guy/girl that we are worthy of having a relationship with. So, Kevin, in a way, we all hide parts of ourselves and preen parts of ourselves to attract someone, esp someone WE are attracted TO.
  19. renaissancewoman101
    I think guys want FWB because they don't look at that particular girl as long term relationship material, but they are also attracted to the girl so they take what they can get without having to commit themselves to something. Guys also like and treasure something more if they have to "work" for it, than if it was handed to them for free. So, if you refuse to engage in a FWB, you can drive up your value quite significantly (I know that sounds like a bit of game playing). Most guys also look at a lady who "gives it up too easily", as loose and probably someone who gives it up easily to other guys.
  20. renaissancewoman101
    Maybe she thinks you're stuck up or that the fact that you don't like to open up may make her think that you have the opinion that "you're too good for everybody else". Sometimes it does good to be friendly and open (not saying telling everything about yourself) but being friendly is a good thing.
  21. renaissancewoman101
    I've given out my phone numbers to guys and consider that part of the ritual of dating. Most times, the guys dont even call me back. I am done with dating for a while, I think, unless I happen to meet someone at school or during the course of my clinicals.
  22. renaissancewoman101
    I wouldnt call you a "skank" either. A "skank" implies that you are sleeping around and seducing people. You are just doing the "online dating" thing. Many people are in your shoes and I know its hard when guys dont call back or set up something concrete to meet up with you.
  23. renaissancewoman101
    Maybe that was his knee-jerk reaction. I've been known to lie once or twice, when caught in a situation and not known how to handle/deal with it. Maybe you should give him a second chance, consider you are not looking for a steady relationship from him.
  24. renaissancewoman101
    Thing is you guys weren't exclusive, just "dating" so, in a way, what he did wasnt wrong per se. But what he did was tacky to say the least. I dunno. Like you, I would probably be upset too.
  25. renaissancewoman101
    Kevin, but don't most dating books, as well as ENA, advise the guy to buy the girl coffee or a drink (non-alcohol) on the first get together? I was always under the impression that when you went on a first date with a guy, usually he bought the drink (if a coffee date)
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