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renaissancewoman101

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Everything posted by renaissancewoman101

  1. renaissancewoman101
    I try to be positive about A LOT of things in my life. I try to do good for the sake of doing good, etc., still my life goes up in spades. I never intentionally hurt people, always try to do good to others, yet not much good happens to me either.
  2. renaissancewoman101
    I wish karma would do me some good sometimes. I seem to get the short end of the stick in a lot of things, even when I put my mind to it and tell myself I can make it work (positive thinking). Doesn't turn out that way.
  3. renaissancewoman101
    I am not saying it is you guys who responded to my post that think that way, but it seems to be the pervading opinion on ENA that if someone does you wrong, like cheats on you, steals from you, treats you badly, etc., that they are advised not to take matters into their own hands and get revenge. Instead, the OP is advised to take the high road and live life fully and happily and "let karma take its path", since "karma is a bear". I've seen that advocated many times on threads on ENA.
  4. renaissancewoman101
    I think "Y" is a drama queen and being petty. The other lady was good friends with the guy and pulled back when "Y" came in the picture. So "Y" really doesnt have a leg to stand on about telling "Z" not to come. "Z" is a family friend and family friends do attend weddings. what a crock.
  5. renaissancewoman101
    Funny thing is that on ENA, I always see posters and advice givers telling the OP to "take the high road" when it comes to getting even with someone who wronged them (by cheating or whatever), since karma will get them back in the end (karma is a bear). From reading those posts, I get the feeling that "karma" is like your comeuppance for doing bad/good. Like the universe will right itself. But then here, you guys say that that is not always the case, then why give the advice that "karma is a bear and karma will get them back in the end"?????
  6. renaissancewoman101
    dogheadma, your explaination actually makes sense when it comes to real life situations. The guy I know that is a cad and treats people like crap, he has a very high sense of self and has high self-esteem. Maybe his self-esteem is what attracts good things to happen to him. I treat people well and go out of my way to be there for others, and yet, I have a very low sense of self-esteem, so I tend to attract the negative things to happen to me. Interesting take on things.
  7. renaissancewoman101
    I don't go around doing good deeds because I want some reward. Most people know me as being kind and caring and I do like making people happy. Sometimes, when I am down in the dumps, I reflect on my life and realize that although I have done good for others (NOT expecting something in return), I still realize my life is crappy in a lot of sense, and then I see how other people act like cads and use others. Their lives seem to be put together and they seem to have all the good stuff happen to them. Sometimes, I feel karma isn't fair. Like you can put your whole heart and soul into liking someone, treating them well, being there for them, and they can cheat on you, betray you, or just walk out of your life without a nary look back.
  8. renaissancewoman101
    During my time on this board, I have heard quoted time and time again, that "karma is a beast", "karma will get them back at the end", etc etc. So, what is karma? My take on karma is that no good deed goes unrewarded, no bad deed goes unpunished. Yet, it seems like those who do good and take the high road, still get smushed time and time again, and those who take the devious road and step on others, use others, seem to do QUITE well in life. If karma is supposed to right the wrongs in our lives, it doesnt seem to be doing so. Case in point, me. I know this sounds arrogant to say, but I consider myself to be a kind, compassionate, and caring friend. I can also be a great GF to somebody and have been. Yet, I seem to find myself smushed time and time again when it comes to dating and relationship prospects, life stuff, etc. And then I see my ex best friend's bf, who is a cad to say to the least. He is a serial cheater and treats people like crap, and yet, nothing EVER seems to go wrong with him. He is very successful in life, does great in his jobs, etc. Where's the karma in all of that?
  9. renaissancewoman101
    I think Z should still go. This is a family thing and her family would be going so her not going would be weird. Also X still wants her to go Y is the one that is being the cad here. If she does go, I would say just avoid X and Y as much as possible, but do be the bigger person and give them nice wedding wishes but dont really talk to X without Y being there since Y seems to be a bit hyper-worried about things.
  10. renaissancewoman101
    I take things personally all the time and it doesnt do my anxiety any good. I am always worried about how people think about me, if they like me or not, etc. If they say something about something I did, I always take it personally like I did something wrong. Like if somebody cancels something on me, I take it as "they don't like me anymore" and "are trying to avoid me". I have been trying to stop that nasty habit of mines since it does destroy my self-esteem and destroys friendships of mines. It's not an easy habit to quit.
  11. renaissancewoman101
    If I were to run into one of my ex's friends, I would see if he/she said "hi" first and just have a small conversation (nothing about the ex) and then excuse myself. This summer I ran into one of my ex's closest friends at Faire. He approached me first and said "hi" to me. We talked for a bit about our lives and then I told him "I had to go". Quick and simple.
  12. renaissancewoman101
    I wish guys would notice me.
  13. renaissancewoman101
    I think your bf is being unreasonable in insisting on a break. He agreed to go into a relationship with you and stick it out through thick or thin and work things out. Now, at the first sign of trouble, he wants to tuck tail and run. Now that isnt the characteristic of someone who is honorable.
  14. renaissancewoman101
    I have a bad tendency of seeking short term gratification because I am so afraid that i will lose the opportunity if I dont take it right then and there.
  15. renaissancewoman101
    Who's initiating the meeting? If he's the one who's initiating the meeting than he should pay his own air fare. You have to realize that you're worth all that, that HE should make the effort to see you first, esp is he truly is interested in dating you.
  16. renaissancewoman101
    I like poloplayer's way of doing it. It shows a lot of class and consideration, esp after one has been dumped surreptitiously. It may also make the ex think twice about what happened.
  17. renaissancewoman101
    In a way, what you are doing is LC. She calls and contacts you, you wait a few days, then you talk to her for a little bit. I would just say, DONT cut off ALL contact, but also move on with your life, start doing other things, hanging out with friends, getting involved with things. It will help you get over her a bit and make get her to start wondering why you are doing so well so quickly after the breakup. It may make her rethink her choice of breaking up with you.
  18. renaissancewoman101
    Maybe people can tell that you are too nice and desperate to have friends. I can empathize with you. I tend to be like you in that I am really kind to people, understanding and I try to be there for my friends whenever they need me. That has led to me becoming a doormat to some of my friends and them taking advantage of me when they want to. Lately, I've learned that I have to watch out for myself and if I stand up for myself, and dont take crap from people, people will respect you more and respect the friendship more. If you just take it and not react, people will just step all over you.
  19. renaissancewoman101
    I do agree with you, when I am a bit tipsy, I tend to NOT watch what I say and I will say things off the top of my head and not care about whether I offend people or not. I also tend to say how I truly feel, when I am drunk. When I am sober, I tend to keep my feelings inside.
  20. renaissancewoman101
    I would stay friends with her and doing LC (limited contact), where you talk to her when she calls (but dont talk to her long), you DONT initiate contact, let her initiate it, etc. But then you still move on, get your life together, and start doing other things. She will notice you moving on and it will make her think twice about what she is doing.
  21. renaissancewoman101
    I use stuff like haircuts, spending money, treating people nice, as a way to make myself feel better and feel good about myself. My mom is very critical about the way I am and the way I look. I don't have a lot of self-esteem. Sometimes, I feel that I loathe myself and what I have become.
  22. renaissancewoman101
    What is hypnotherapy?
  23. renaissancewoman101
    I've been friends with an ex before, mostly because we didn't part on bad terms (he turned out to be gay), although I have noticed that bf's do feel threatened by ex's. My lst bf felt threatened by my close friendship with my gay ex. Sometimes when breakups happen, people DO TRULY want to stay friends.
  24. renaissancewoman101
    Right now school starts on Monday and I am hoping that will help me take some of the edge of my problems. I just don't understand why I am so afraid to find a full-time, along with school. When I was living in Wisconsin, I worked part time through college and worked full time until I moved out here. It is as though moving out here disrupted my life to the point that I am afraid to do things. Just going back to school was a tough thing to do. I am not trying to make excuses, just trying to understand why I am the way I am. It is not as though I am dumb or incapacitated. I am smart and active, but I seem to do things that sabotage my life. I know it has to do with my personal view on myself and my relationship with my parents. I also know therapy would help, but I am afraid of turning the microscope on my own life. I am one of those people who would rather be there for others, be nice to others, sacrifice to make people happy, THAN to study my own shortcomings and pithy life.
  25. renaissancewoman101
    I don't think I would end up homeless. I dont think my parents would ever let that happen to me. It wouldnt make them look good to their friends and family and my mother is big on looking good to friends and family. I want to understand why I am the way I am, why I constantly want to test my parents' love for me. It is as though I WANT them to throw me out of their lives. I dont know.
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