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renaissancewoman101

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Everything posted by renaissancewoman101

  1. renaissancewoman101
    I have decided to go back into therapy again. I was doing it for a while in the latter part of last year, but I didn't like what was offered in the HMO that I belonged to. This year I changed my insurance to a choice plan and now I have a choice with choosing therapists that will take my insurance. Problem is I have NO idea how to choose a therapist. I have been living in this area for about a year now, but I dont have many friends and I have no idea who to ask. This isn't something I would ask people I am friendly with at school. Any suggestions? I really want to get back into therapy again, because I am struggling with some personal things that are REALLY hindering me from finding a job and making me lose interest in school.
  2. renaissancewoman101
    But friendship doesnt always lead to a dating situation. There have been a few times that I have been friends with someone and wished it could be more, but never WENT anywhere.
  3. renaissancewoman101
    To me, I think a short guy would look good with me, since I am already unusually short myself.
  4. renaissancewoman101
    No, but to me a guy's height doesnt matter much. My ex was only 5'3" and he was VERY self-conscious about his height. I didn't mind that he was smaller than most guys. To me what counts is what's inside.
  5. renaissancewoman101
    Most of the people in my grad classes are preoccupied with their families and/or SO's. I also seem to have a hard time making friends and I think part of it has to do with me being in my 30's. When I first moved out here, it was very hard for me because I left a lot of friends and acquaintances behind. I actually am going to try to do more things besides staying at home and hanging on the computer. It's been a while since I felt somewhat good lately.
  6. renaissancewoman101
    Hoss, you're lucky you have girlfriends. I have very few girlfriends out here . I am having somewhat of a hard time making friends. Maybe I dont do stuff in groups enough. Not sure. It just felt good to be away from the computer for the day.
  7. renaissancewoman101
    I figured out that I need to get out more and interact with people and stuff like that, besides keeping to myself at school and being online most of the time. I realized that I have been depressed and feeling out of sorts lately because I haven't been going out much and doing stuff around PEOPLE. I actually spent some time with my family this weekend (brother yesterday and parents today) and although my mom is still somewhat driving me batty, I actually am having a decent time. I guess we humans are social creatures and if we take that socialization out, we become very depressed and hermit-like, and that in turn, feeds into our depression and people-avoidance behaviors. I am not saying that I ALWAYS want to be around people. Good heavens, I dont, but I realize I SHOULD get involved in more things at school and in life, so I am not always stuck at home or on the computer. Socialization is a GOOD thing, Hopefully I can feel this good about things for a while. I tend to shift up and down a lot. But, this weekend, I seem to be having a good time, for ONCE, with my family and going out and doing things is somewhat bringing some sunshine into me. I'm tired though and am going to stay one more night at the parents, which is extremely UNUSUAL for me.
  8. renaissancewoman101
    you're being a bad little boy I see
  9. renaissancewoman101
    be careful of STD's
  10. renaissancewoman101
    Success is not defined by religion but by how much effort you put INTO being successful. It also is defined by if you are doing what you have an INTEREST in doing, not just doing something because it will lead to money and success. Success is not always financial, it is the feeling of satisfaction and joy that you get from accomplishing something.
  11. renaissancewoman101
    Your attitude makes me feel as though you dont think that you really did something wrong and that she is going to come back to you sooner or later, just that you give it time. Let it go, move on. It's the best thing for you to do. Get counseling and work on your anger and control issues so that your NEXT relationship you aren't like that.
  12. renaissancewoman101
    We're not being insensitive. We are trying to help you understand why she may be moving on and why it may be in your best interest to move on yourself so you can heal.
  13. renaissancewoman101
    Still, even if she is being friendly, she is moving on with her life and you spying on her is not going to help YOU move on with yours.
  14. renaissancewoman101
    Goingforit, sometimes people move on and start dating as a way of forgetting about their past relationship. For all intents and purposes, she may have started to move on before the actual breakup. From my past relationships, I have learned that before the axe falls on the relationship, the dumper has usually emotionally removed himself/herself from the relationship before the final act. You should move on yourself and respect her need for space. This is going nowhere and she is NOT coming back to you. Respect her space and her need to move on, and move on YOURSELF. It'll be hard in the beginning, but you'll feel better in the end.
  15. renaissancewoman101
    You have to respect her and give her space, and in the process of respecting her, you have to NOT be spying on what she is doing, looking at her Facebook, etc. You are not going to heal this way. I took a look at your previous threads and it seems that you guys broke up over your anger and control issues. She is afraid of you and is trying to live her life and forget about you. I know you understand that you made a mistake in the past with your anger and control issues. It is good that you are going to get help for this. But, LET HER GO. She is not YOUR problem anymore. She is living her life and moving on. This No Contact is to help you heal and move on. I know it is tough, but stop looking at her Facebook and wonder why she is doing what she is doing. She is trying to heal in her own way and move on. thereforeeee, you should continue your NC, get counseling, and move on. Maybe in time, with counseling and help, you will get to the bottom of your control and anger issues and you can find a healthy relationship. Give this one up. She's moved on.
  16. renaissancewoman101
    Caro33, you are so correct. This year I have spent almost ALL my free time on here and, besides school, I really dont have a life. I do see this place as a helpful place but you are right, it doesnt take the place of live people, live interaction, live friends.
  17. renaissancewoman101
    My life is crappy because I dont have a lot of friends. I make my own bed because I avoid people a lot. Guess I should sleep in it. But, I try to be nice.
  18. renaissancewoman101
    Forza, you're right. I need to get out more. Besides school, I am here most of the time. I don't socialize a lot and I think that has done a number on me. I am more afraid of people and doing things than I used to be. Maybe being on the computer all the time is NOT a good thing.
  19. renaissancewoman101
    Thanks to all who posted. I know this was a cheesy thread but I was feeling down and worried about some things. Still am but trying not to let life bother me.
  20. renaissancewoman101
    If this has been an ongoing cycle of break up and get back together and he is good for a while and then falls back to his old ways, then I would just stay broken up with him. It doesnt seem like he really WANTS to change, he is just happy with the routine before and misses you in his life routine. I would move on so that you dont get sucked back into this endless cycle of things and get hurt all over again.
  21. renaissancewoman101
    I think women overreact because they are more self-conscious about stuff and worry about what their SO thinks of them and all that. Women also are more emotional and men sometimes don't think before they do things.
  22. renaissancewoman101
    I have a very low opinion of myself and sometimes use the opinions of others to buoy my self-esteem.
  23. renaissancewoman101
    After a good sleep I feel a bit better. I sometimes get worried what people think about me. I can be very self-conscious.
  24. renaissancewoman101
    HP, I have very low self-esteem and a lot of how I view myself comes from how others think of me. I am the type that if others have negative opinions of me, it can tear me apart and I spend a lot of time ruminating about those opinions. I've been like that since I was little and one thing I have always strived for, is to be accepted by others.
  25. renaissancewoman101
    I think you look pretty decent. Wished you had left your eyes in. I think the eyes tell a lot about a person.
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