renaissancewoman101

Breakups happen and people get hurt, so your bf's helping her out with money because he broke up with her and feels guilty about it, that doesnt sound right. I get the feeling he still has feelings for her, else he is just a doormat and letting everybody walk all over him.

No, I think that is tacky and speak of no manners. If someone else was taking me out to dinner, I would choose a place that I liked, that wasn't pricy or anything like that, and I would order something ordinary, NOTHING expensive. Otherwise, people are going to get a bad impression of you or think you are a gold digger.

^ you're too young for things to start decaying.

Today was a better day. Having water aerobics class really helped. Also the kids werent so crazy and acting up today. I need to learn how to discipline better without having an emotional meltdown myself.

I think you need to develop a life outside of your bf and make some friends so that you can hang out and have a life outside your bf. Because, what would happen to you if the worst case scenario happened and he BROKE UP WITH YOU. It CAN happen and does happen to the best of relationships. You really need to have your own life otherwise you will drain this relationship dry. I do think you should seek therapy because your clinginess to your boyfriend is bordering obsession, considering you have a small SHRINE to him and you collect his used gum. Um!!!!!

I've read your past threads since I was searching for "detachment" and "unrequited love" and your threads popped up. In many ways, you are acting with this lady the same way you were with the other lady. Constantly analyzing her every move, her every word, her every gesture, wondering what YOUR next move should be to counteract her gesture, comment, etc. Trying to read behind each and every move, word or gesture she makes. IF this is a recurring theme with you, and it seems like it is, I think you REALLY should seek counseling to work through your issues and get to the bottom of why YOU are this way. It's your insecurities that are coming out and YOUR control issues, and you are making it HER issues. Stop beating the dead horse, it isnt going to resurrect itself for you. She's done with you, let her go. All the words and actions you do wont bring her back. LET HER GO. Sometimes we cant control what happens to us in our lives. We cant control how others will act towards us. We just have to accept it and move on. IF we dont, then we sink into the depths of paranoia and insanity.

Hoss, I had my first water aerobics class last Wed and it was way cool. I like aerobics but it is less hard on the joints when its aquatic. Exercising and walking helps to lighten up the mood. Talking to a friend also helps too. Having good friends is a good thing.

I am actually doing better now. I went out today and did some things and talked to a friend and that helped a lot. I feel better to have talked out some of my frustration. I also went for a walk and that was nice. I really need to go out more often, besides school. I am SO looking forward to water aerobics class tomorrow night.

I'll be fine. I am just having doubts about school and things and sometimes wonder if I should just give that all up and go find a full time job. At least then I would have some money and not be constantly overdrawing on things and creating havoc in my life, as my parents love to point out to me. BTW, my parents were not really happy about me wanting to go back to school to be a teacher and give up my career as a tech writer.

I agree with skyblue, you're purty!!!!

I've had that happen a few times the one time I put up an ad on craigslist. I had a few guys respond to me and one of them was very put out that I didnt want to hang out with him at his place. I was like "Urm, you've never met me before and you want me to COME OVER and hang out?? Yeah right". He got kind of snippy about me not wanting to come over or meet the night he called. Some men can be like that. Usually, they are just only looking for one thing, a one night stand. They are jerks.

Be careful that you just don't give, give, give, and he takes, takes, takes, and still walks away or gives you the spiel later on down the road, that "he wasnt that into you". I've had that happen to me and no matter how HARD you guard you heart against it, it still HURTS like hell and it makes you more cynical about people and relationships in general. I do understand that you want to use this relationship experience as a way to be less emotional and stuff like that, but getting involved in a one-way relationship that is going to go nowhere is NOT going to make you less emotional but will hurt you emotionally.

I try not to be a nuisance to my friends. That's just how I've always been. A lot of times I try to deal with things on my own, but sometimes it just isnt possible.

I may just go out for a walk or a drive. That helps me feel better. I wish it was warm enough to go swimming but it's kinda chilly today and I wont swim in an outdoor pool when its chilly.

I am signed up to do water aerobics on Wed evenings after my clinicals. Right now I am just stressed out and worried and want to call a friend to chat. I want to see my friend and hang out but I dont want to bother them. People work and have stuff to do. I am just going through some weird things. I may go for a drive again, most likely up to my parents. I am not sure. I am one of those people that HATE bothering other people when I am stressed out and lonely.

I don't know what is wrong with me today. I feel like curling up into a ball and crying my heart out. I feel like my life has no meaning, nothing. I feel trapped in a cycle that I can't get out. I know I sound like I am whining about life and I probably am. The weather is great outside. Sunny, etc. I need to do laundry and a buncha other things. I probably wont. I am so lonely right now but I shouldnt be. I want to talk to someone but I dont like calling people and bothering them. I probably overdrew my bank account for the 10th time this last year and half and will have to deal with that. Ugh! I am shaking and very nervous again. I dont know what I want. I dont like to be like a wet mop and a Debbie Downer. I can't be like this always. I probably will go out later. I dont want to feel all alone. I always do. I dont know what I am looking for either.

I think my biggest problem is lack of assertiveness. I tend to be a pushover about a lot of things, and kids can sense that from a mile away.

If you just only have a physical/sexual relationship with someone, you risk getting emotionally attached to the person and then when the person finds someone else or decides this relationship isnt for him, then you are left with a broken heart. You also run the risk of getting STD's and stuff, unless you guys are using condoms and birth control. You might be hooked on him and not go out and meet other people who may be more into you than he is.

I feel bad for the girl. You guys are all jumping on her because she has some guy friends. If you dont want her to have guy friends, then treat her better, make time for her, and be there for her, like a good bf should. Good luck!

I am up to the challenge. I just was ranting today because I felt burnt out and felt like I have been on this road for a long time. Last week with overhearing some third graders making fun of me, that hurt a bit. I just need to develop a thick skin when it comes to criticism and learn to deal with things and to stand up for myself. I think the kids pick up on my timidity and make use of it to their own advantage.

I've been burned too many times in my life by people who were supposed to be there for me (my mother comes to mind readily) to really trust people. Most times I go into things having the mindset that someone is going to hurt me sooner or later and when that happens, it isnt as hurtful to me as if I just went into something just blindly trusting someone. For example, my somewhat best friend. We've known each other for almost 14 years. He's done MANY things over the years to hurt my trust in him, with the exception that he's never completely left me. I've come to the point that when I do things with him and ask him to do something for me, I just dont expect that he will come through. If he does, I'm happy. If he doesn't, I kinda expected that.

I agree with hoss, 4 days is too soon. You still haven't properly grieved the breakup and the next person you date is going to be your rebound person. That's not a good thing.

I think people are very cynical when it comes to relationships nowadays. People dont want to work out problems. It's kind of like the disposable mentality we have about things, where we use things and toss them out. Relationships have become the new "disposable" commodity where when it has run its course and passed its expiration date, it's time to toss out. Else if it doesnt fit, its time to toss out. We dont take the time to repair our belongings. Many times we just replace them or upgrade. Relationships have fallen in that category, I think.

Hoss, I again agree with you. Sometimes it's hard to tough things out in exchange for a new relationship with that first flush of a romance. That's heady stuff and people spend lifetimes trying to recreate that.

Hoss, I agree with you. Sometimes people want variety and arent committed enough into the relationship.