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Kalika

Platinum Member
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Kalika last won the day on April 24 2007

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About Kalika

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    Platinum Member
  • Birthday 03/01/1980
  1. Yes, I think there is. I would let them know that you are aware your performance has been lacking this semester. Let them know that you were dealing with some extremely stressful personal and financial family issues, but that it is resolved now and moving forward, you will do x, y, and z to make sure it doesn't happen again or that you will stay on top of everything. Make sure you explain what you learned from the scenario/your plan to make sure it changes going forward. Let them know you are always open to feedback as well. Good luck!
  2. It sounds like she wants you to fix this problem, but it's honestly not your problem. I'm saying this as someone who was a single parent for many years. If you're not ready to move in with her, don't do it. It sounds like she needs to step up and find a place to live and you should in no way rush moving in with her just to "save" her. If she's threatening to end the relationship over it, then so be it. You'll spare yourself a huge problem.
  3. I didn't see this as belittling him into trusting me. It's just the fact of how I am. I'm a pretty straight shooter and I'm very honest with him, this is what I pointed out to him, and he knows it's always been true. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it. If I have no intentions of doing something, I'll let you know that too, even if you don't want to hear that. If I had no intentions of quitting weed forever, I would tell him this, and in fact this is what I said to him. Eventually I will probably smoke pot again, but not now and not for a while. It may be a few years even before I pick
  4. Again, you keep assuming I have only my house and no other assets. I don't know why you are assuming this just because I didn't go online and blast my finances to everyone. Bottom line is, you are assuming things and you are completely wrong. Nor does it mean that I'm marrying him only because of the $15K, which is completely ridiculous. Obviously there is a lot of love between us or else we wouldn't have stayed together this long in the first place.
  5. Realistically most of the concessions seem to be on his side as he knew he handled things poorly from the get go by procrastinating and then blowing up at me. This is something I'm going to bring up in counseling because he procrastinates frequently on important things and it never ends well. He's just not on top of things, procrastinates the more difficult things, and then it becomes a problem. He does this with clients too. Or he will say "it's no big deal" and discount that people want things done and not always on his time frame. At one point he had even told me we could just sign the pren
  6. Hey everyone, Thanks for the responses so far. I've gotten a lot of different viewpoints since the last responses which I'll try to address, but I also have an update. A few things I wanted to clear up: -Someone posted asking why I even want a prenup since I don't have any assets, and it was implied I only want a prenup because I don't really want to marry my fiance. I never said I don't have any assets, and in fact I actually have quite a bit of money and assets, and my desire for a prenup long predates me even meeting him. I have always felt I would never marry anyone without a prenup,
  7. Thanks for the advice guys. I tried talking to him and it didn't go well at all. It just devolved into another huge fight. He kept harping on the pot smoking and I finally asked him what his point was. What was I not doing that I was supposed to be doing when I smoked pot? I was still doing all the things around the house I was supposed to do. He accused me of doing it every day during the day and I told him that the most times I ever did it was 2x in a week during the day, but I did smoke daily in the evening, which he knows. He called me a liar, but why would I lie about it? I DID smoke ever
  8. Gee, thanks for calling me superficial. I've been going through a very rough time the last few months with severe depression, and the one thing I was actually looking forward to was my birthday. I'll be spending it at the unemployment office so I guess it's ruined anyways, right? I'm going to edit and add, perhaps before you write something to someone, even a stranger on the internet, you should seriously consider their emotional plight and situation. You never know, it could be someone really hanging onto their last thread, and unkind words can do more damage than you realize.
  9. Thank you so much for the advice so far, kind internet strangers. I know I am coming across some kind of way but I am going to be open minded to what you all are saying. I agree it's best to cancel asap if we cannot get this figured out. Truly, I'm not trying to be selfish and save face. I'm embarrassed for sure, but more just extremely distressed at what this would do to everyone, including my family who have been so kind to help me so much with this wedding. Even today, my father has emailed me repeatedly about his tux, I can tell he's so excited. It hurts so much to think I may hurt everyon
  10. I actually had to take a deep breath at the thought of even talking to him. I'll put my big girl pants on and I'll talk to him tonight. I'm just afraid it will devolve into another fight. Tomorrow's my birthday and I also don't want it ruined. I don't think I can take any more of this.
  11. Honestly, I'm not really sure. I have people coming from all over the country - even Alaska - so I'm not even sure how much that would be. I probably could, but it might take years, considering I will also have lost over $15K already and I'm out of work until I can find a job (who knows how long that will take).
  12. Thank you for this. I know deep down that everyone will forgive me if I cancel. It just sucks to be the reason other people are in this predicament. Also - agree with everything else you said.
  13. That's extremely unfair of you to say. I am absolutely trying to consider them. Other than you disagreeing with my methods, I think my care and concern for my guests is pretty apparent in my posts.
  14. I understand what you are all saying about cancelling. I will reassess my position on this. I know it doesn't make sense to go through with a sham wedding. I just didn't want to ruin everyone's day or hurt everyone who has already put so much time, money and effort into this. It was never my intention to hurt anyone financially or in any other way.
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