steff

Last night I had my two best friends around for new years eve. We started talking about our parents and their relationships, both Travis and James vowed never to turn out like their fathers, both their fathers including mine are really mean, and like yelling at everyone. We all live in very respectable families, however, at the moment im noticing that my parents relationship, and my friends parents relationship, and a lot of other married peoples relationships are really bad. Their not happy, my parents have been together for 30 years, and travis and james's parents have also been together for a long time, and what im asking, is that as time goes by, does the relationship decreases, and the partners start fighting more and more? I really like james, but I see so much of my father in him, which makes me not want to be with him. I don't want to start a relationship because im scared that if I fall in love, I will be stupid enough to marry him, and then as the years go by I will be unhappy. I guess that im asking to hear from people that are in a long term marriage, and if they are still happy. Do your partners still actually talk you? Or are they too occupied with work? Does the father in the family still spend time with the kids???? Please give me back my faith in marriage, and the 'happily ever after'

um, wow $230 is alot to spend on a friend.... um, i would keep an eye on it, and maybe try and go to a social event where that person will be, and talk to him, and just get to know what sort of person he is.... hope its nothing to seriouse

hey, well i have been professionally waxed three times, the first time was at the ladies house with one of my best friends, where it took abour 40 minutes to wax it all off, and it was the most painfull thing in my life... crazely enough i went back again. the third time i went to a different place, and it was over in about 20 minutes, and they did a lot better job, and was less painfull.... however, because i dont have the money at the moment, i did a home try the other day :S and yes um.. i came up in welts and rashes because of it.... must have been the wrong wax or something... well thats my expreience.

in my last relationship, he would pay for everything, and hardly let me pay for anything. the other day we cort up, went to the movies and dinner, and whenever i took out my wallet to pay, he would push it away, or when i tried to put money in his wallet he would tell me off... however with my boyfriend before that, he didnt really care if i paid for anything. so i think it just is a matter of the guy.... although some girls like their man to pay for everything.. with me, i just dont really care.

broken, im sorry too, to hear about your loss, this year my family lost 6 people, which included our last grandparents. so i totally understand where u are coming from. you didnt brake your promess to him, and i know, that he knows that to. when my nana died 15 years ago (i think) we all thought opa (her husband) would die shortly after her, however opa only died this year he lasted another 15 years. im sure your grandmother is going to be strong enough to do the same, if not more just remember all the good times

ok well, i sent you a pm just to see if it works or not for you... um if you cant get the message tell me, and i will write it out again here...

hey, as u all know, ive just finished high school, so im not seeing my friends everyday, which as hit me rather hard. however, my two best friends, travis and james, work together, and get to see each other nearly every day. i sometimes go down to their work and bring them some cold water and something to eat. but the thing is, because they see each other everyday, i feel as though im being left out. i tried to organise something for new years eve, it took them 4 weeks to say whether they were coming or not, and even now it sounds like they dont want to be here with me. we are great friends, well at lest i thought we were, james used to call me all the time, and i would go round to his house heaps, and trav and i used to talk to each other heaps. but now i just feel left out. james will e-mail me maybe once a week saying something like "sorry really busy, will call u sometime next week" and then doesnt call. i brought them both present, and put them under both of their trees for christmas, and james didnt even say thank you. i just want to know if i should give up on them, and just fall out of the group... i already feel really lonely, but theres nothing i can do... please someone tell me what i can do to help the friendship, or whether i should just fall out of their lives????? thanks steffany.

1 1/2 year old relationship, isnt something that u would want to play with. but by what you are saying, he isnt doing the right thing, and shouldnt be telling other women that he loves them, when he is in a relationship with you. i would wait alittle longer just to see if the e-mails continue, and if they do, and he keeps telling girls that he loves them, i would print the e-mails out and confront him about it. however i would give him a 3rd chance, he shouldnt be doing this, and it isnt right, you derseve so much more than that. hope that u can work this out. PM me anytime if u would like to talk.

wow, that doesnt sound right... from the way i was reading your post, she doesnt sound nice. she said shes not happy with the relationship unless u move in?? right??? how does that work, how does she think that it will improve the relationship?? i think u should 'step outside the square' and look at this relationship and see if it is really worth it. i hope everything works out for you.

i was told once, that our heart hurts when we brake up, because we cant feel emotional pain, and so the brain makes the heart hurt, so it can understand the pain, and gives it something to feel.

yep, this year has been a hard one... maybe not as hard as yours, but this is my family... my family suffered 6 deaths in 9 months, i also went through 'dealing with rape' my father was unemployed for the first time in my life, which made it hard on the whole family, my grandmother was dieing from cancer all through the year, my sister continusely making it hard on the family with her boyfriend, and just the general hardship of friends at school and completing my final year at high school HSC/VCE so yeah its been hard... and for a lot of other people its been hard... i think its been a bad year all the way around. although i dont think its Karma, but i believe that next year will be better, and i really hope thats the case for you, i think u and your friend really need a good year now, and oh.... well done for braking up with ur absive boyfriend... im trying to convince my sister to do the same that would have been a massive step for you... i think its great that your going to work in a soup kitchen on christmas, thats really good, caring and conciderate of you, you should feel really special on christmas day well good luck, and keep us informed next year, as to whether things are getting any better for you.... coz we really do care

i know ur going to look at me and say "shes only 18 she doesnt know anything" but maybe your wife feels under appreachated (sp) does she work full time, and look after the kids... are the kids still young enough to need full time care???? maybe she craves some attention or just some help... i know thats how my mum is... she worked and looked after us kids, and only wanted my dad to say something nice, or just help out pm me if u want to talk more....

Please dont listen to Romeoz God, his saying it to everyone.. please dont pay attention to him. maybe you should talk to someone, and just get a medical opinion just to help you, and they might make u feel better about being around men...

hey, please dont pay any attention to Romeoz God, he has said things like that in every sucide post... and its not nice... im sure that you will find a girlfriend, and she will be perfect for you just give it time, thats what people here have been telling me about boyfriends... please dont cut yourself... maybe find someone u can talk to, or find something else that relesses the pain.... like playing darts or running... i find the gym is great to release pain... that and it help me lose 10kgs so dont listen to people like Romeoz God we dont want anything to happen to you

ok, i do not want this to sound negative or mean in any way.... but just because she doesnt want to have sex with you, doesnt mean that she doesnt love you with all her heart. women dont always feel they need to have sex with a guy to show them that they love them. she may be under alot of stress from work or something, and just wants to be comforted by your hugs. i would give it some time, and dont try and push her.... im sure she really loves u, but just needs some time.

hey, thanks everyone for your support, i finally got a phone call today from 'Kings Swimming' and they are hiring me for a job, im so excited, i am actaully needed now im so excited, i have to go through training and stuff first, i dont think they want just anyone teaching children how to swim.... but anyway, thanks sooooo much for all your support, i finially did it, and now have a job.... thanks (K)

i know i have writen about this before, but i still feel useless and totally unwanted. i finished my year 12, and got my score the other day, which isnt that good, and i doubt that i will be even able to get into my tafe course, because im .5 under what is needed i still dont have a job, and have handed out countless resumes, and had a number of interviews, i have one tomorrow to be a swimming teacher at my local gym. yet im doubtfull that i will get the job. all my friends and family are always asking me "so when are u getting a job? why arnt u working yet? where are you working?" and it just makes me feel totally useless that i cant get a job and that no one wants to give me a chance. even though ive had private school education, i live in a good neighbourhood, im a really nice person, and really do try to work hard. the guy that i like - james - hasnt contacted me in over a week, which makes me feel like he just doesnt even want a friendship with me, i have to contact all of my friends, because it seems like they dont even have the time for me... i feel useless and unwanted, when ever i think about it, i cry, because i want to be a 'someone' be someone that is uselfull and can help people or at lest press two bottons to get something to work... is there something about me that makes people not want to employ me? or spend time with me? please help, it really is hurting me inside.

my sister is 20, and her boyfriend is 24, she tells me that he hasnt hit her yet, but he still spat in her face.

hey, nah i think its called urine retract syndrome... id see the doctor

okay, i think my sister is in the beginning of an abusive relationship. first of all, most of you know that my sister is dating someone that no member in my family likes, i, however have attempted to be nice to him, and have gone round for dinner a couple of times to make it easier for jessika. the thing is, last night i called her up at around 11pm asking her when she would be home, she was in tears so i asked her what was wrong, she told me that zak had spat in her face because another man called her mobile phone. she told me that zak was calling her a * * * * and all these really horrible names, and that she wasnt aloud to talk to anyone, where they were, and that she had to pretend that nothing was happening. here is some history on zak, jessika has to tell him her every movement, he has to know where she is and with who. she gets in trouble if she is out, and he doesnt know about it. he took her sim card and put it in his phone so he could receive all the phone calls and messages that were being sent to her phone. she tells me that he hasnt hit her yet, but i wouldnt be surprised if he has. i asked her to brake up with him last night, but she didnt, and instead stayed the night, and still hasnt come home. she told me that she cant leave him, because she loves him to much, and she cant live without him. they plan on getting married earily next year, and have a baby soon after, although my family doesnt know that, and if they did, my father would disown my sister... please help me, i dont know what to do to help her, she needs to brake up with this guy, but i dont know what to do, any advise would be greatly appreachated thank you. steffany.

wow, what a night, well i think u did the right thing by not sleeping with her, or anything. she was drunk and properly wasnt thinking straight. i think it would be best for u not to bring up what happened, but still stay friends with her, and not make things uncomforatable for her.... hope this helps

ok, you all know about james, who i have always said 'i love' and have loved for 3 years. you all know how sweet, caring, gental, conciderate he is, however, i now have a problem. ok, i have just finished my high school education, which means i no longer see my friends each and every day, and of late ive been finding that i havent been thinking and obsessing about james as much. like i used to think about james every minute of the day when at school, and be soo happy around him. today we spent two hours on the phone together just talking, which was really nice, but things just dont seem to be the same. i guess what i am asking you is, did i only think i loved him while i was at school because we were always together, or is it normal to slow down on the obession you have with someone after a while? should i still attempt to find out if he likes me, and if so go out with him, and let the love start all over again... his a really sweet guy, but i have been trying to talk myself out of loving him of late (if that makes sense) please tell me what i should do???? any help is greatly appreashiated

when i was younger i always imaged myself, when i had finished highschool, to be going out with a great boyfriend, having a part time job, heaps of friends and had done well in my exams. well guess what, i finished my VCE/HSC this year, less then a month ago, and i dont have a boyfriend, i dont have a part time job and my friend circle is small and limited. this really cracked down on me today, where i started thinking that i have already failed my life. and if no one is going to employee me now, what makes them want to employ me later on in life. it was only today that because of no job, no boyfriend, that i felt unless, and unwanted. all my friends have part time jobs. admittely not all of my friends have boyfriends, and no matter how many resumes' i hand out, even to shops advertising that they want employees, no one wants me! i dont see myself as a bad person, okay i may not be 5foot 6inches, instead an intimadating 6 foot, i may not be a skinny big boobed long blonde hair women, but i can still sell a product or press two bottons on a machine. my friends can hand one resume' to one place and within 24 hours be employed. i generally am a very happy person, who gets along well with pretty much anyone, but still no one is willing to give me a chance. in life one must work to live, so we live to work! if i cant get work, i dont have a reason to be here. im not needed! whenever i think about the future, it doenst feel 'for surtain' i never know if i will still be alive. i always think about killing myself, about how my friends would feel, how my friends would cope. i feel bad for thinking it now, because only a week ago today my father lost his mother, so my family lost their last grandparent, which has been a massive blow to the family. and here i am thinking about ending my life as i am of no use to anyone. in my account i have about $250, and that isnt going to last long, not with petrol prices, and christmas and birthdays coming up. how am i suppost to do anything without a job. today i lay in bed all day crying... not only about not having a job, but about granny, and im still trying to cope about being raped. my family has lost 6 people this year, thats like a entire family itself, im sure one more wouldnt really hurt that much. i know that i will never be good enough for james, i will never marry him. im not going to be anything. but look at my brother, his 22 years old, has found the women that he is going to marry (his best mate of 15 years) has 2 cats, a dog, a very fancy car, and has just brought a house and renovated it into a beautiful home... look at me... im nothing. i dont feel as though i can put anything into this world. i cant help anyone with anything, whats my point here... why should i still be here??? i hate fighting with myself...

he shouldnt have asked you for sex, when i broke up with my boyfriend, he asked me "we can still do everything that couples do, you know, see each other, sex, talk, and have fun together" i was shocked and devestated. and even last night he asked me for sex. i wouldnt go anywhere near u ex, he only wants one thing.

wow ouch im sorry. but i think computer guy is right, and u just have to set him straight and tell him it was a mistake to say that, and that ur not wanting to get back with him. its really the only thinkg that u can do.