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Caterina

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Everything posted by Caterina

  1. Caterina
    I've been scared by society. I don't want to be unconventional because its safer to do what everyone else is doing. Most people marry young. Also, I want to be able to have children. PLus, they say all the good ones are taken up when you are young so I am worried about being stuck with some selfish guy who wanted to be a bachelor for forever or some divorced guy.
  2. Caterina
    You should have taken this into account. When you broke up with her, you should have explicitly told her exactly why you didn't think it was going to work. No matter what you say, its going to hurt, but the best thing to do is to be immediately honest. She is wrong to harass you but you probably wouldn't have had to deal with that had you been honest in the first place. Now, you need to remain honest. Tell her the truth, you didn't think it would work b/c of whatever reasons you have.
  3. Caterina
    He's just yet another example of why the numbers for women in the engineering dept.s are as low as they are.
  4. Caterina
    Attraction is weird. I used to date pudgy guys. But after I had a bad relationship with a guy who was overweight, something happened. After that, every overweight guy seemed unattractive to me, like he represented that guy, like he represented laziness, or failure. When it comes to height, I've mostly dated taller men, but its not a must. I've had crushes on guys slightly shorter then I am. But not too much shorter, not abnormal. Like I said, attraction is weird. Also, people are very influenced by conventions. Since the guy is usually taller in the movies and we usually see taller men with shorter women, it might relate to a need to fit in for some women.
  5. Caterina
    You need to just forgive her and be glad she isn't in her life. You dn't like it that she tricked you but everyone plays the fool at some point.
  6. Caterina
    How does this serve any purpose?
  7. Caterina
    If you are wondering whats out there, you should go see whats out there. BUt be willing to face the consequences of that decision. At the same time, you aren't married to her.
  8. Caterina
    You sound like me.
  9. Caterina
    I'd say stay away for a while and think to yourself about what you want. When you decide, if you decide to go back, make it explicit that you want to go slow b/c its VERY hard to get over what happened and its not going to be easy to revert back into what you were before he dumped you. You could also just walk...I mean, he dumped you whose to say he won't do it again?
  10. Caterina
    Ouch. That hurts. Its gonna hurt for a while, but you have to know that there is nothing you can do about it. Hope you are okay. *hugs* Why do you think he cut off contact? Were you just friends? Did you say something to hurt him? Is he a nice person or a mean person?
  11. Caterina
    No matter the way you look at this, its going to hurt. No matter what you do. The way to make it hurt less in a permanent way is to hurt yourself more now but less later by trying to find another job. I'd look for another job, but still be cordial to him. When you find one, put in your two weeks and don't look back.
  12. Caterina
    I've made judgments based on experience, also. When I look at all the successful relationships I know, they usually were initiated by the man and followed through by the man...the relationships started by women I know ended with him losing interest. I ask a lot of people I know about how they met and this just seems to come up over and over. Yeah, there is not absolute proof that this is why the relationships failed but it does seem to interestingly be at least a considerable factor.
  13. Caterina
    You should let 'em have it THEN NC, lol. Sometimes its just natural to express and to get through the pain of what has happened by going through painful confrontation instead of directly approaching NC. After the confrontational parts, you might be more prepared to move on then if you had just let their bs fly.
  14. Caterina
    I've asked guys out before and it never came out well. I've only asked about two guys out, though. I think its better for the guy to chase you...but it takes away from the chance for YOU to choose who you want. This is because you always have to wait around waiting for THEM to make a move. Guys don't seem to respect women who like them first it seems, though. I have been in a lot of relationships that turned sour for me after a while because they were into me more then I was into them. A lot of my real heatbreaks happened over unrequited crushes. So, do you think its better to stave off of having emotions for guys and wait until some random person decides to like you or to actually chase after what You see you want?
  15. Caterina
    Host a party! If only a handful show up, good! Then you will have food left over! When people show up, this way you can focus on having a good time. Just make sure you have lots of energy and lots of exitement and interest in your guests and it should turn out well...
  16. Caterina
    Its interesting that you point out that we need to notice whether or not we feel insecure and whether or not they stick to their word. I've known guys who seemed overly nice when I first met them. They were full of promises and their main goal seemed to be directed towards pleasing me. Yet, despite flowery words and what-not, when it came to actions- they never really did what they said they would do. Its an interesting thing, because they were pleasant people...and easy to be around- not controlling. You'd think that would have made them nice people, right? I've always associated "nice" with someone who didn't have a contentious or difficult personality. Its really hard to pick up on who a truly nice person is. Also, when it comes to insecurity, I wonder how much would be my fault?
  17. Caterina
    "He could have a whole harem of women like me"? YOu need some self esteem before dating this guy or any guy. As long as you make him solely a rebound, I think you'll be okay.
  18. Caterina
    This guy was a git, you should know that. Forget about him. He might have been kind to you b/c he saw a vulnerability that you had that he wanted to exploit. Some people like to make you feel bad after they've shown you kindness because they feel powerful to know that you want them. When you want them, though, and they know it- they treat you crappy after that. Forget about him. There are plenty of fish and the sea and the idea that no one will love you is a plain lie you are telling yourself b/c you are hurt. People can be jerks. Stay away from those types...its hard to trust, but when you see that they aren't good people, be glad they avoided you or avoid them! You'll be fine, you'll be fine.
  19. Caterina
    Its a small minded society and whether or not you are gay is not really their business in a professional environment. Don't blame the coworker unless you know its her.
  20. Caterina
    What are you still with her for? "Oh and she kissed him while I was away."????
  21. Caterina
    She might like you sexually, and also like your company but still not want to be in a relationship with you for whatever reason she has.
  22. Caterina
    Only women replied! I guess I shouldn't be so general, though.
  23. Caterina
    Why didn't you just yell at him? Thats what I would do...they usually don't do that anymore after that because they know that it hurts you.
  24. Caterina
    Do guys like you for who you are or something else? I've had it happen on a number of occasions...male friends I've been interested in reject me, but then later they act like they desperately want me back...this is long after I've moved on? Why is this? Do you think they want a challange? Do you think they just get lonely and desperate? If they actually liked me, why did they wait until I was over them to say anything?
  25. Caterina
    If you can't accept her for the way she is, you should just remain friends or date someone else. I know that there are some things I can't get over...and it usually doesn't go away. I don't like a guy to be overweight, for instance. If he is, its hard for me even if I like everything else. Whenever you get mad at the person, your mind will drift to that feature about them. She deserves someone who is attracted to her and you deserve someone you're attracted to. If you can get over that, perhaps you can work out together...that seemed like a good idea.
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