CyberCowBoy

I agree with layword as I think everyone probably does. I should have added in my preface that a reply should consider the reality of one must be responsible in a choice for a mate. The idea that a poor man is somehow more virtuos and a wealthy man is evil is not really what I'm getting at. Both guys are great guys. But it would be irresposible to marry a guy with no job, no ambition and no plans to provide for his future children. It is an oversimplification to use the cliche "marry for money" in the scinario i'm proposing. Where does it stop. Marry someone just for love even though his work ethic is such that having children would be a finacial and humanitarian disaster. Im not saying that is the case with $60k a year, Im simply pointing out that the words naive and unrealistic idealist come to mind if you take providership out of responsible descion making

Girls; Your currently dating / in love with guy who makes $60k, but your ex , whom you still harbour a flame for makes $300k a year. You know your ex would take you back and you'd take him back, but your passionatly in love with current boyfriend. You are all three at that age and maturiaty where you are dating for keeps (more than likely anyone you all date for a year or so will turn into marrige). Question, how much weight do you think the huge differance in income plays in your relationship direction verses the head over heals passionate love you currently have with your current bau ? What is the saying...love blinds all, or somthing like that? I'd be interested in thoughts, but I'll go ahead and assume that "every person is diffrent" , and there are those who think this is irellevent or a politically incorrect question, so that you do not need to respond if you are going to share those feelings Thanks for sharing

The original poster was actually focused soley on the girl's delay in sharing the situation with him. He has worked out the actuall idea of the guy staying over. I'd love to hear advice / ideas on his concern of her lack of openess about this.

You didnt type the extendd version with them all sending season greeting and pitching a ploy for the poor. Paul Young makes the song. And i donk care what yu think of him boy geworgeplays big part as wel geo micheals

Holy smokes! This reads like some french experamental film, or a gore free horror film. You have so lost perspective. I was reading and not beliving. And I don't mean this in a disrespectful wat but I had to sniker when I first read Gentelman's first comment "I've been there before"... His comment caught me off guard, It reminded me of the movie Naked Gun when Mr. Roark fell off the stadium portal , was crushed by a steam roller. then stomped by a marching band. John Kennedy's cahrater said "m dad went the same way". But then I realized what Gentelman ment by "I've been there, cause I have to. I lost total realistic perspective, became a facilitater for a munipulater and narcasist and became a co-depentant. I was so depressed and missed this girl so much but I knew logicaly like you do that I loved the girl that she could be if you could parse out all her good traits. YOU CANT! You can however get proffessional help, in the form of a relationship specialist or some co-dependent books. Dr Laura in "Ten stupid things men do" talks a good bit at the dmsil in distress. You are there. You are doing yourself no favor, and you are really hurting this girl by sustaing her in a mental condition which needs further professional treatment. No one gets help till they loose everything. I was horrified to hear you were hostage to your own room by a voice on the phone. But believe me, I have had worse things happen to me than the bus trip fiasco and yet I went back for more. I guess all of the advice you get is easier said than done. Maybe enough responses and some a little more blunt than mine might shock you into change. I wish you the best And reread Rkka's post

ahhh, excuse me, sweetie. But get back here. Thats not the end of the saga. You have to live with the guy. Don't tell me what with you, Orlando and Dana and everyoner else swarming around like a swarm of busy bees moving each other's cars around that the plot will not thikin. Buy the end of the school year in May you will have gone thru a BFF stage with Dana and maybe dated and broke up with Orlando. Hey, how are the plates your mom bought you working out with the others? Do they use them / enjoy them as much as Orlando? See I was always concerned that Orlando even noticed / commented on the plates, much less gently stacked the on a better shelf. He's changing the shelf evberyones plates are on just like all that musical cars you all do. Anyway. An update wouldnt kill ya

Well I guess Salacious kind of underscores my question / point.l Whats the dealio with the requirement about booze? That is not wise cause you may miss out on a catch like me or Salaious. He says he drinks sometimes but he couyld simply stop if if were an issues. I have a drink about once every two years I'd say and Im almost as good as a potentional husband as Salacious. Point is, obviouslty avoid a raging alcholic but why eliminate all those A+ canidates for somthing as randomn and arbitrary as an ocasional drink. Any way. no big deal.

In a situation like this it is only ok if she holds his request till she checks with you. The she should check with you immediately, and with a tone of "this is a lil awkwered but Im cool with it unless you have any reservations or feel uncommfortable about it, and by the way he just asked me 5 minutes ago". The tone may not be matter of fact or "I guess I just never thought anything of it so I forgot to mention it". I would have told you three years ago that its no biggie, "whatever, it never crossed my mind that there is an issue that neeeds to be shared with my significant other in a reverant way" But, I dated a girl a couple a years ago that put me thru a lot of trainning about thinking and acting with purpose in a relationship. We broke up but her trainning stuck. In fact I really do not feel passionate at all about the assessment I just offered but because of the trainning I make a non-instictual, logical decision / distinction about an incident that seems to connected to me only and to make an effort to view things that happen to me and just me as part of the relationship with the gierl Im sharing a good bit of my time / life with. Her trainning stuck but also tjhis girl had amazing intuition. I was never dishonest or anything but anytiime I would blow off her attempts to dragh my own life / thoughts into a disscussion between the two of us, she could simply know what I was thinking. It was scarry. Oh, wait, back to post. She should report / ask you first and asap

Well, now ya got that whole thing with the "lipstick LesbiN. she is soft and girly. She is the reasomn people mdon't automatically think butch when the word is heard. The Lipstick varitry has made the whole oreintation popular for now. Amaica loves Lezbos. I do find that type to be defensive and cold to guys as she is tired of being asked by srtarngers if "He cAN WATCH" tHE butch is accually the calmest and coolest of the two, guess since she plays the guy she has to be te emotional stabelizer / backstop for the twep. Anyway. The butch lesbian is a reqally cool person in my experience . Tghey are always so respectful, frienly, laid back and fun. Id love to go campaighning with some of the butches I know. I too tired to keep making these great points

I wonder what your beef is about booz? I don't drink ever but the girls I have dated have all been drinkers and it din't cause anything significant. While it is true that alot of guys in your parameters wil be reigous, and your right it is best for both of you that you not fall in love cause it would be a problem having children, there is one more group out there. Guys on antidepressents. I take paxil cause I have ADD and Im about as interested in sex as the man n ther moon

" because I know girls want a guy that can throw them around" - Salacious That was too funny, Did anyone else pick up on that, The poster before salacious referred to throwing a 180lb girl around but it came out contextually awkwered. So Salacious referred to the importance of being able to throw a girl around. Dying laughing. Both post good Also, Promise, everyone, that you wont tell, but I think I kinda like that Hurleybabe. Ok , keep that on the dl

So thereare about 5 or 6 people in this house? It was one of the non Orlando guys who gave you the goahead to move in and the other roomates didn't know? What r u all having a house meeting about? I think if Orlando is streight (I like those plates, I'm giving them thier own special shelf) he probably like both you and Dana, and he's hedging his bets by keeping the flirt on with both of you to see who pans out. Throwing out his net to see what he catches. You want him you need to play it a bit coy, aluff hard to get. Just be a busy bee when he[s around

Don't send the email., Cntinue NC around 7 months to 12 months she'll come crawlin back, at which time u can decide to try agin or not. Send that email and she'l never come back. I understand that your motive is not to get her back but like FC said nothing good wil come from the tone-less cold words of an email. Go back over the post from FCTEX and Hosswispa and don't make the ireversable mistake i made u can do it

And oh, I think my above post refers to things like asking out, aproaching in a bar, "I love you" , will u marry me. etc. And one thing I forgot to add is guys love the hunt, the challange, of course thats been said too many times. Girls like a challange too but not as much as boys, plus girls are made to savor the thrill of pursuit. I've got carpell tunnell I have to stop abruptly But whomever the reader is reading this, I love you very much, you should know that