Caterina

To me, weight doesn't matter that much. If I thought she should be healthier, I'd say, "Sure, you could lose a little, but you're still attractive and you have a lot of great qualities. How about we go to the gym together?" It would probably let her know that she should be a little disciplined but that I accept her no matter what. I don't lie, though.

Where are you from?

Just ask her and she'll probably tell you. I sometimes wait because I want the kiss to be special...it depends.

Experience breeds maturity, usually. Being as "mature" as someone who is much older is an anomoly. Hence, the need to feel that it be mentioned if someone is dating someone much younger then they are. As far as younger people go, I personally like 2 year olds. 2 year olds are my favorite. Wow, too bad that pedophiles add an element to the joke that makes it scarier then its supposed to be.

I think forgiving him is a faster way for YOU to heal and has little to do with him. I say stay away from him as much as possible. Don't hurt him the best you can, but let him know that he needs to leave you alone. You are very right to be angry and have a right to sit in your anger for a while...just don't let it consume you.

I think you should think of her as a friend. She obviously values her beliefs above attraction/feeling. Its kind of like this: to her religion represents the very core of who she is. If you can't be a part of that, why would she be in anything other then a platonic relationship with you? Just be her friend...if you want, you can show some interest in her religion by going to church with her...but for the most part I think you should seek someone who has the same beliefs as you do.

I think you ultimately know what is right. You'd be unhappy with someone who'd treat you unfairly. Obviously you shouldn't ever go out with him again. Is he known for lying? I say that you should forgive but make him an acquaintance...keep him at a distance. "Fool me once," they say, "you're fault, Fool me twice, my fault."

I don't think age matters, but maturity does. Also, where someone is in life. I've dated younger men before, but they were just entering college while I was working on my career. Its really nice to date someone when you don't have to worry about whether or not they are spending too much on you when you go out on dates with them.

Wow that was interesting...thanks for the great insights.

Yeah ask him why he acted that way. Maybe he's jealous.

I'd personally say stay away from sex for now...it seems to cause you lots of problems with intimacy. Try to love and get to know people in other ways before everything is sexualized.

Why the heck is your partner letting this guy say this stuff?! At least you're smart enough to recognize that he's a pushy jerk.

Thats a good question. I am guessing its when you sort of twist your lips to the side. I don't really know. You're funny.

Maybe you're right. I think that I'm also hiding behind a bigger issue. I don't know how to cope with death...recently someone died and I think that I'm taking my pain out on my friends.

What do you think I should do? There is this guy that had a push-pull relationship with me. We were friends and he was nice to me. Well, we started getting into arguments because I started to care about what he thought, while before I didn't. I started to think that we should go out. He doesn't like me that way for whatever reason, but I still feel bad because we exchanged some harsh words. He doesn't ever talk to me now. Do you think he is angry or waiting for me to apologize or just thinks that I'm ridiculous? I see him every time he signs onto AIM. Do you think I should apologize?

You're right, I didn't read the post closely enough. I don't know what to suggest. The possibilities will only reveal themselves after you decide to take action or not take action.

Agreeing to disagree sounds fine with me. I'm not trying to annoy.

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I do that when I'm happy. It doesn't necessarily mean sexual attraction, though. ROFL, but I think its funny that you can only find a baby picture.

I won't stop anything. I didn't make any comparisons. I honestly think that mental rejection is the precursor for darker and darker things. In the process of things, thoughts always preclude or ignite the action. We start with allowing a social conscious that says its okay to reject the attractiveness...the BEAUTY of one race/ethnic group and eventually the next generation takes that THOUGHT just a little further....

Yes, those women are discriminatory against short and obese men. Any time we reject someone on something that is physical, unpreventable and has little to do with character is wrong. To those women, being either short or obese probably represents some sort of defect and in their limited mindset. To go further, if they are in a relationship with a guy like that, then it means that they themselves have the same defect. How could it be anything else? So they are prejudiced, in a way, through their preferences. You don't like men with tattoos or long hair- there are some pretty conventionally accepted ideas about men who have either of those ... you probably don't want to associate with the social ideas connected to having tattoos or long hair and so have subconsciously taught yourself to have a repulsion to men with those things. Those aren't peculiarities of physical attraction...you've attached meaning to the physical characteristics that those men have and reject the meaning. Those aren't really a good example, though, when comparing it to ethnicity since people choose to do those things. People don't choose ethnicity. I think people should question their preferences...I have my own, and I think I need to work on changing them. Its difficult to change.

I did go see the movie. Sometimes looking at the greater painful things elsewhere does not eliminate personal pain. The solution is not simple, I'm lonely and deppressed and its not like there is an immediate cure for it out there. I've met a few people through my friends but I don't have very many friends as is.

You're right. Upon reflection, I think was being a bit rash. I do respect my friends and they aren't second picks. I also do think very highly of them. I said it because I was hurt. Its true that they don't share my interests to the depth & intimacy that I'd like in a friend, but we also have a lot of other things in common. I felt hurt because someone I valued, values someone who says not-so-nice things about me. When it comes to the journals...I'll just have to be more organized. I have personal journals that I keep in a box and I also have my online journal. I think that I was trying to make a remedy-action for how I felt about someone who doesn't even like me being a part of the list of people who get to read thoughts that are very personal and close to who I really am. Now, when it comes to people understanding me, I would differ with you itallgrand. I know that there are people who will understand me, and my friends understand me more then most. But there are people out there who truly understand me on a deeper level and those people are beyond difficult to find. THe only reason I know they exist is because I had it once with my best friend. We had a relationship of complete mutual respect. You're right that sensitive people can act insensitively sometimes. Also, I've been told that I make wayy too many sweeping generalizations before. I do that a lot, and I really need to watch myself before doing that. I don't have much spare time, but I try to hang out with friends on those days. This weekend I sort of stayed in my room deppressed. My friends invited me to a coffee place where they showed a movie about Darfur. I didn't really need to see a movie like that considering what I'm going through. I was conflicted, that night, because I felt like I was being selfish for wishing that they didn't invite me and for them politically pressuring me to care about the situation over there. In a way it is selfish and we do need to be aware...anyways I am hugely digressing. Overall, I am just dissatisfied with my social life. I'm very lonely and deppressed- I don't know how to meet new people who understand me.

I don't know if I really like deviantart. There are a lot of sexual perversions expressed in a lot of their artist's work.

Race and religion are two different things. I don't often date outside of my religion either. Charley, what you say is interesting because your reason, that you like people who look opposite to you, isn't bigoted. You also point out that you come from the same ethnic group that you aren't attracted to so that seems less bigoted. However, I think any type of ethnic preference/exclusion is nearing something dangerous because people usually are objectifying the people they exclude. For instance, they'll attach a social "meaning" to an ethnic group and that is why they won't choose them. Usually people's preferences are based on representations that they've created in their head. Any time an entire ethnic group is excluded, it seems to me that they are being objectified in some way, and not looked at as human beings. I think its good to question why we have preferences and even better to condition ourselves to not have any ethnic preferences.