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savannahohsavannah

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Everything posted by savannahohsavannah

  1. savannahohsavannah
    Um, I think you know what he's doing only you don't want to face it yet, he's getting his sex and companionship with no responsibilities. And you know what he gets with all these "I'll put it off" behaviors? All this sooo confusing stuff that he does? He gets CONTROL. The only way to deal with someone like him is to leave. I'm sorry but that is it. I know it's going to be hard but you need to do it for you. Sooner or later you are going to come home and find out that you have vmails from your pals saying that he's now dating someone else, and he's still going to be seeing/sleeping with you too. I've dated his type--you are better off leaving NOW.
  2. savannahohsavannah
    Thanks I've already started doing the distancing thing. I ignore them entirely. When I saw my ex in the 7-11 I stood right behind him and we didn't speak or make eye contact. I stayed at the library initially because I am not used to changing what I do over any ex...I didn't count on the new gf to be jealous. Of course, she feels like the injured party, because he was dating us both at the same time for a while. Our town is so small and the campus is so tiny that it's almost inevitable that I'd run into her or her pals at some point in time. I offered his new gf my friendship through one of our mutual acquaintances, but I can see that she didin't want it. Hope you are having a great day everyone. I'm iced in the house today so no library anyway!
  3. savannahohsavannah
    Yes, why do you let this person do this? I think NC would be terrific here. If you have a way to stay completely away from this person it's wonderful! Otherwise, you may have to set some boundaries. Boundary number one I'd set: Do Not Contact Me Again! Just my .02 cents.... and take back you heart while you're at it, this person is going to pull you six ways to Sunday unless they get what they want and you may not be able to give it...
  4. savannahohsavannah
    My ex and his new gf are all about the library where we all studied. Yes, that is past tense. I have contacted the UVA Police Dept. about the many hate bombs thrown my way by this young woman and her pals. I felt invaded enough when she blithley walked off with my bf, but then I find that a few of my acquaintances are her best friends! I tried being nice to them, some of them I genuinely liked, but these people are so loyal to her and David, that they have decided that they don't like me. I know that my ex has a personality disorder, probably a mixed disorder with anti-social and passive aggressive elements. What this means is that he will tell rotten lies about people to get his wishes fulfilled and his only boundary with the lies he is willing to tell, is whether or not he believes he will get caught. We all have a right to be in the library. But I feel they intrude on my boundaries. First, they got my roomie last semester Ilke involved in the situation. She knows both David, and Youyoung. Talk about creepy having a friend of you ex's new gf live with you for four months without knowing it. What would you do with this situation? I have a whole life away from Grounds at UVA but some of my time must be spent there. I don't regard my ex, or his gf and any of her pals, or even my ex roomie, as people who should be in my life right now. Any suggestions?
  5. savannahohsavannah
    She might be the personality type who needs excitement at a higher level. What did you do with your sex life? Go to Barnes and Noble and buy the Cosmo Kama Sutra. It may not repair things with this relationship but it may help things in others. And I think this situation, if there have been no other major hardships, abortions, cheating, etc, may well resolve itself in a positive way if you ask her, respectfully, to try again. If you have any of the above situations, it may be that unresolved angers are driving her away from you. P.S. I didn't get how old she is? That can also be a major factor in how she views normal relationship doldrums.
  6. savannahohsavannah
    I think the character you are describing sounds more like a sociopath than a simple commitment phobe. Probably this character has some type of substance abuse problem, and would come on like Prince Charming. But he would demand a commitment early on, too early. You as a woman may feel flattered, but there will likely be a sense of ickiness that something is wrong here. Way too many women ignore that feeling, because there is something wrong. These fellas are the personality type that are most likely to become abusive. If you want a short fling with one of these fellas make it so short that he does not have the time to attach to you!
  7. savannahohsavannah
    I don't mean to be rude or hurtful because I've stood in shoes similar to yours, but this was a kiss off. You should back off from this ym entirely. I'd even date someone else. Truly, I've never had anyone come to me in a meaningful manner with this level of confusion. Savannah
  8. savannahohsavannah
    Honesty is typically the best policy. But here, you also could have been a wee bit more tactful by not telling everything you know. If an ex asks you about your romantic life, I'd always be a little on guard. I guess I'd be expecting to be hit on again and I may or may not want that, you know? I don't think you fluffed it though, unless you want him back. If you wanted to get him to fly away, you did. Just my .02 cents. By the way, is this an old college chum?
  9. savannahohsavannah
    Roxy79: I have lots of different experiences with men. To me, it sounds as if you are looking too hard for clues to what he wants. In my experience, anytime you have to do this, there is only the slimmest chance that the man in question has any serious intention or interest in you. Again, if it were me, I'd be friends with him only, no more shagging. And I would totally start seeing other men.
  10. savannahohsavannah
    Slow down! No killing of oneself over thinking you might be gay. Which, I don't know, but it truly is unlikely. As youngsters we all get naked with our friends to a certain degree, some experiementation is normal. Wanting to see your pal naked isn't bad! I just would not worry about this until you want to do MUCH more with him! And then you might consider the question: "Could I be gay or bisexual?" But there is not a damn thing wrong with either of these two states of being, AND you are too young to really know for sure anyway. Don't worry, be happy!
  11. savannahohsavannah
    So? After three years Jill is going to be jealous? Jill was not in the pic 3 years ago. So?
  12. savannahohsavannah
    But unfortunately, when you MAKE someone feel guilty they get angry in response. So guilt tripping someone with whom you want a continuing relationship just complicates matters.
  13. savannahohsavannah
    NO! If he's doing all this to impress you with truthfulness you must have plenty of doubts...keep them!
  14. savannahohsavannah
    Right after 9/11 my movement professor went to TJ as a lark while he was in California to get a beer. He got a beer and it took him a full TWELVE HOURS to get back accross the border into the U.S. I would not do this at this time, especially if you are underage. I think it could be misconstrued as a runaway situation. Sorry. I don't think this is a winner for you.
  15. savannahohsavannah
    I would only be jealous if they were doing something like cybering. And then I would flip out. I have green eyes, you know!
  16. savannahohsavannah
    You may be right that the gf is jealous. But that could mean she knows he has unresolved feelings for you. If she sees you as competition you will have trouble no matter what. My suggestion is to change your way of being with your current bf. You may be a somewhat hands offish person in public. I say do PDA's. And hold his hands, do any type of physical affection. It could re-ignite how your current bf sees you and will give anyone on the outside the truth--he's the man in your life now and you want no other.
  17. savannahohsavannah
    Just because you shagged your ex does not mean he wants a new or renewed relationship with you. And what I hear you say is, basically, that this fella shows up in your life once in a blue moon. When a guy really loves you heaven and earth won't tear them away. I really wouldn't shag him again, because it sounds like you want more than sex, and that is all he's wanting.
  18. savannahohsavannah
    I think though that I would pass on this girl as a pal. I have had a ton of really neurotic type pals and they ALWAYS turn on me in one way or another. I finally got smart and didn't let them near enough to me to give them a chance. Typically this type of person has a personality disorder, that means that they truly can't change. What they do and how they deal with others is their personality! So instead of just taking them as they were, I decided to calm my own life down and leave them alone.
  19. savannahohsavannah
    She won't change so accept it or move on. If it were me, since you seem to like her, I'd just consider her an eccentric and let it go at thiat.
  20. savannahohsavannah
    and the things he did and said to hurt me. It' has been 8 months! I decided somewhere along the way, that he wanted to hurt me! Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. I will never understand exactly why he wanted to hurt me, and this started way during the beginning of our relationship I think. He did and said some things that seemed out of character for him. I've had one hell of a time getting on with my life because I see it all played out in school every day. I congratulate you for saying you weren't ready to see your ex and not going to the party. I don't have that option.
  21. savannahohsavannah
    It sounds like he has a happy fantasy. If you are uncomfortable with it, you could take a stand. But look at it this way, if the situation were reversed and you had a ridiculous crush, say like on a movie star, how would you feel if your SO wanted you to get rid of your memorabilia?
  22. savannahohsavannah
    Don't spend your time with him! I say you should just let it go. It will make you feel so much better! I see him playing cat and mouse with you. It's an ego thing for him. I don't say that to be cruel to you in any way shape or form, but there are simply some people who will do ANYTHING to get their egos stroked. It sounds like he's one of them! And I also would not believe one word he says. Not one single word, if he tells you the sky is blue, you should be thinking well okay but isn't it actually azure? And I guess that is why I say total no contact and be rude if you must. We can't always be polite. You should not have to put yourself in a position where he can manipulate you. It hurts!
  23. savannahohsavannah
    you don't need to have sex at 14. What you should be doing is meeting boys and dealing with them as love relationships, not sexual ones. I know the feelings are strong, but if a fella truly loves you he will jump over high hurdles to be with you. Now, I know this is going to feel painful, but I believe what a previous poster said about this fella: he has found someone else and he's stringing you along just in case. Believe me, it's best for you to do NC with him. At least for a few weeks. You should at this point just realize that he did tell you the truth, as painful as it is, his feelings toward you have changed. This happens all the time. It's why we date many people! If it's not a good fit it's your best response to let go. It's hard work but it's doable.
  24. savannahohsavannah
    I really think this is a joke post. AND I wouldn't ask any chick to or not to shave! It's not your business. You either like what you see or you don't. That simple.
  25. savannahohsavannah
    And then there is the whole Pater/Genitor issue. In some states if a man assumes the role of father he is automatically considered the child's father legally. In some instances living with the mom is enough to do that. There could be a ton of serious issues coming your way if you choose to stick it out and see if the children are his. But remember, you are YOU! You need some care and concern too. If you feel valuable and treat yourself as if you are and demand the respect of the other people involved in this problem the whole situation may resolve itself.
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