lost_666

yeah its just the way im feeling pretty much all of the time now so i just write it down. i try to write insead of cut myself and sometimes it works but sometimes not.....

thank you. They were both quite long but i felt that i had to fit it all into 1 poem! if you know what i mean.......

t i've been writting poetry for a while but these are the 1st 2 i've posted....i guess it's a way of expressing myself..

these are 2 poems ive been doing they might disturb someone but i feel i need to share them with someone..... cries She cries every night only for him She’s screaming and crying That’s where the cutting begins She grabs the razor and holds it over her wrist She starts to draw a picture, a picture with a twist An “X” going accross the vain of her right arm It’s not that she's an “ Emo” she just loves self harm As she bleeds she gets light headed She looks at her arm while the blood has spreaded A single tear runs down her cheek She's almost lost it and she's just gone weak She falls to the ground with a giant bang She gets back up and cuts again Her ocean of blood is around her feet She's done her work of art, her picture is complete She looks in the mirror and bows her head She stares at her wrist as they infection spreads Her hands are all covered in blood And the bottom of her shoes are covered in mud This how her story ends No parents nor any friends She's down in hell cuz suicide is a sin Now she will let a new life begin The cuts Cutting crying little girl why are you so sad? Little girl why do you want to die, I ask you why? Why are you cutting then bleeding hoping to die? Cutting crying little girl why do you cry? What’s wrong little girl is something wrong? Help me understand. Little girl dry your eyes, there’s always another life. Cutting crying little girl do you need help? Little girl why are you cutting? Little girl why don’t you wanna stay? Look little girl I’m always here, why are you crying then cutting again? Cutting crying little girl you say you don’t even understand? Little girl don’t cry, give me that razor don’t hurt yourself. Don’t cut anymore it only makes things worse. Cutting crying little girl see you stopped crying. Look at your arm all your scars are healing. Little girl don’t cry anymore look at the sky it’s not that black you see anymore. You see little girl the sun’s rays are kissing your face. What’s wrong? Why are crying again? Your not crying little girl you’re laughing instead. Those aren’t the tears of pain and sorrow; they’re tears of joy and play. Little girl just drop that razor, no more cutting crying wishing for dying. Smile little girl your finally free. Go play little girl, don’t be afraid. Little girl I’m leaving now, don’t worry look in the mirror little girl, it was you all along. You just passed your own nightmare little girl. No more cutting crying and bleeding. Happy little girl that’s your new name.

it's good you've given a good sense of the atmosphere and i like it, well done! xxx

Thanks guys! I think the feeling between us two that we had before is coming back. i Dont know what it is but i can feel it again. And im pretty sure he does too. It just feels like it was before when i knew he was in love with me! But i think im still going to leave it a while before i start talking about sex with him. What do you think? xxx

yea! Thanks detox you are such a great help, you all are! I told him what you said and he siad that he is going to prove to me how much he loves me. And he wont tell me how but one of his friends said that he is probably just going to by me something. Although that is sweet of him he cant buy me like that, but im not sure if this 'friend' is trustworth so we'll just have to wait and see!

wow............

yea id never go for sex until i was atleast youngest 15............does sex hurt for a girl doing it for the 1st time????

thanks i worked that out for myself. He hasn't bothered me for a while now and its making me feel more happy and safe with my current bf! But every now and again i get the odd text call or word from him but ive learnt to just ignore him. Thank you sooooo much to everyone who has helped me your so amazing! take care ........xxx

hi everybody, well i know it's a bit selfish (if thats the word!) of me but.... i made up half a lie. My grandad in real life has just had a stroke and he's always in and out of hospital but he is generally fine! But i told my bf that he had another stroke and was in a really unstable situation andthe doctors dont think they cn do much but wait. (even though he's not!) And i am already upset about him having the stroke so its not as bad. And i told him and started crying and he was very affectionate to me and wanted to help me. He cycled over to my house about seven last night when it was cold and wet to see me and i thought that was really sweet and caring of him. I let him stay the night as it was to late to ride back and we couldnt take him and he couldnt be picked up. But that night he told me he really wanted sex and he has fallen in love with me again. Is that a lie or not??????

Im sorry i must be really annoying everybody! But i am taking in what you say, i spoke with him last nightabout it and he says if i want time and space then i can have it. But when he was saying this i could tell he seemed dissopointed. Anyway a few hours later he rang me back telling me that two of our good mates (who were together) had just broken up. He siad to me that they had told him they had sex about a week before breaking up and then he said that he wants to think about things again. But im not sure if he is going to try and work his way around me or just let me take as much time as i need. But thank you soooo much everybody ive taken in all your advice and have used alot of it. Bless you all xxx

thanks everyone! But im 99% sure he's not got someone else. He has had that done to him before and it has torn him appart, he's not the sort of person who would do that! When he told me he said that he still really cared for me he was just confused about hhow he cared for me. Like as in a friend or gf! Do you think if i told him i would have sex with him when im 110% sure he is back in love with me and if not then he's not going to get anything from me. And then i could see what happens, he might leave me but if he does then atleast ive saved myself from having a fake relationship and giving my body to someone who does not love it!

Well I told my parents but he started coming around my house and threatening to kill someone. We rang up the police and he got taken away with a warning. Now he is trying to apologise to me and say its just that he likes me so much. He asked me if he can take me out somewhere to make up for it. Is that a good idea?

whats NC??? Thanks detox thats really kind of you! This is a really confusing puzle for me. i like your metaphor by the way!! lol! what should i say to him because i dont want it to seem like i dont want to do it with him because i do because i still love him as much as ever but i want to be sure he loves me to and not scare him off! How will i know when he is definitly in love with me again and not just saying it? I dont think he would just say it but just incase!