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savannahohsavannah

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Everything posted by savannahohsavannah

  1. savannahohsavannah
    I know I risk being bashed by saying it, but it's true. Younger Adult and Older Adult relationships happen all the time. Stigmatizing them by arbitrarily setting age limits is counterproductive. Just my .02 cents. Biggest age gap: 24 years
  2. savannahohsavannah
    I think you may have blown it by running away. I don't mean to be rude by that, btw, but he could see it negatively. However if he does happen to contact you tell him the truth, that you were a bit confused because you didn't realize you two had such a big age gap. It's okay though, this is life we live and learn all the time!
  3. savannahohsavannah
    Nope, this is NOT bipolar disorder, it's most likely Borderline Personality Disorder. YOU can not fix her! Look out for yourself. Be there when she's appropriately behaved, and when she isn't, tell her flat out you see she's not ready for company and leave! Savannah
  4. savannahohsavannah
    If it were me, I'd actually go see the parent face to face. If you get no response from him then, you must simply presume that he is harboring unknown resentments. Can you imagine that it might not be the work of someone else's machinations, but rather something that your mother did that wounded inadvertently and unknowingly, or something that she failed to do? It is however up to him to step up to the plate and say this is what happened and why I feel this way. This is a sad situation, but I can't honestly say it shocks or surprises me in any way. I think in fact the *disownment* of family members is all to common.
  5. savannahohsavannah
    Well that means that you are asking for something from him: a place to live. Sorry, but tons of parents have a my way or the highway attitude when you live with them, it's not just you, don't feel alone. My question for you, is could you just ignore him? And then seek to re-arrange your life somewhat? By your mid twenties you could have already finished college if you are going to go, and be on track for a career. I'll tell you a secret that you may already know, but might not be acting on: start on a career path, any path, and just keep on going! If you get a job, you may get some of the respect you want. But, really please don't let your life become a dumping ground for anyone. If someone is consistently disrespectful, put as much space between them and you! Hugs Savannah
  6. savannahohsavannah
    Suppose you have an elderly parent who has always told you that they can't stand the idea of you having a child out of wedlock, and they have gone as far as threatening your inheritance, and said they won't do anything for you or your child. And then, along comes a cousin, and they are pregnant, and instead of censure this cousin gets assistance for her baby with an unnamed father? Suppose that parent had been pulling nasty scenes with you from (age 12) time to time about out of wedlock pregnancy, and made you fear that you would lose their love, if you ever had a child without the benefit of marriage. And what if it's now too late for you to have a child, and then along comes this cousin, who is now your parents favorite? If you confronted the parent, and they denied it all, would you tell them if they ever wanted to see you again they would have to go to family therapy? Wouldn't you feel that you had, wrongfully put up with an abusive situation, and now that it's too late, they are saying they never really cared about the whole out of wedlock child? I admit it's a cousin and not a daughter/son who is having an out of wedlock child. But it's causing her daughter pain that she's accepting of this one and she's said she would never have accepted her own. What would you think? What would you do? Savannah
  7. savannahohsavannah
    What do I do? I saw a guy named Kenniff and found him attractive and we talked on the phone. I was totally into him! But we are so far apart. Do I do anything?
  8. savannahohsavannah
    Any time a fella says he's not ready for a relationship and then shows some interest women always choose to ignore what he has said to them--don't !!!! It could be that he's into you sexually and wants to be a booty buddy without any commitment on his part. This is a dangerous thing if you are in love with a guy. I'd make sure I stayed away from this fella for a while.
  9. savannahohsavannah
    When you said you were being stupid in putting your fear of being hurt you were wrong: putting your fear of being hurt by her first sounds like a wise move. She is confused about her sexual identity and does not know where she wants it to go long term. I think she was with you as an experiment in living. And that leaves you hurt. I can sympathize with all that you feel right now, but I can tell you, you can't control a persons sexual orientation. I think the wise move is to speak with her and let her know you respect her wishes about staying apart. I suppose you might be doing some introspection as well. Was this a true indicator of your sexual self: are you truly bisexual? Or perhaps an anachronistic episode? When you were a teenager, did you ever have crushes on your girlfriends? I think you should be thinking about where you want to go with this. There are some great Lesbian, Gay and Questioning Groups out there. Perhaps you can find one at your Uni? In any case, good luck with this.
  10. savannahohsavannah
    I think you should cancel your plans to meet him! Let him go and move on. Some guys are in your life for a short time only and you simply can't stay friends or close to them. You don't need a critic in your life.
  11. savannahohsavannah
    don't be on it. Just be polite and keep your distance. To do anything else will lead to heartbreak. Also the sex talk in front of her new bf with you present is just trashy.
  12. savannahohsavannah
    Last school year I was in the same spot as you and just could not let go of a bf that I'd broken up with in July the summer before. We saw each other at the library and it was heartbreaking to remember how he'd hurt me with cheating and lies and the fact that I still loved. And then lo and behold I got a new job and suddenly, I was at home on my computer when I had work to do! I was not at school and I didn't see him anymore for LONG PERIODS of time. The pain that I felt lessened for me. And I was suddenly, early this winter, free of IT, that awful breakup and love experience where there is no future. Let go of IT, and do NC. I promise, it works!!!!!
  13. savannahohsavannah
    I hope you take a few deep breaths to help you deal with the shock you are going through. I agree with the other posters and say don't marry this fella. Even though you love him, he's not able to reciprocate just now, he's living in a destructive addiction cycle. Even getting out and getting treatment is still going to be a tough row to hoe, when he is finally able to do so. Typically when someone is going through rehab they tell them not to make any romantic changes, i.e. get married for a certain length of time when they've started treatment. So, even if he does what you want and gets help, it still may not exactly save your relationship, but it could save you! Do you realize that being with this man if he is doing anything illegal with drugs, could if you are caught when he is, get you jailed right alongside him? Just a thought to remember....
  14. savannahohsavannah
    Although I tend to agree with DN's statement, it will likely get you fired. Have an attorney lined up and find out if you are a right to work state. If you find that you are, he can fire you for just about anything and you have little recourse. Problem is, most waitstaff don't have enough money to hire a decent attorney...or any at all. Just look for a new job.
  15. savannahohsavannah
    Shame on you Thundergirl! No, you have a set of problems, probably ADD, am I right? And these problems leave you with some social issues to deal with. That is okay. Go back to the therapist. What city are you in?
  16. savannahohsavannah
    I don't agree with telling her that she is hurting you. Some people would simply take that with pride...and you don't want that do you? Just tell her, you are not into her now, and that you see that she has a new bf, and that you should both simply move on. Give her a place where she can email you, if she chooses, but just don't answer the emails. That should appease her need to contact you while letting her get the message that you are not interested in being pals.
  17. savannahohsavannah
    I think I should clarify my statement previously about seeing him in the library with his new gf. At the time, I thought that I WAS the gf, but he was out with someone else and I finally saw through him in an "aha" moment.
  18. savannahohsavannah
    Just go back and stick with one...you need it!
  19. savannahohsavannah
    Basic advice: Never begin your story with a weather report. It's best to begin with two characters in a conflict that shows something about both of them, and whose focus has a major connection with the theme of the book. U can do a character in conflict, ex...Darcy Steinke Suicide Blonde, opens the book with a drunk girl dying her hair blond cause she thinks it will help her keep her bisexual bf from straying. It was good, even though it didn't do direct conflict because it told us right away what her character wanted... Also, take classes...
  20. savannahohsavannah
    Don't bother making him jealous...flirt with the dude! You hit on the wrong idea...
  21. savannahohsavannah
    You are so concerned about how things look for you, and yet you can't think of how things FEEL for her. Maybe this is why people see you as a player. You don't think about others, only yourself. I'd go to therapy for male/female relationships. Now is the time, so you can figure it all out and find a healthier way to relate to the opposite sex.
  22. savannahohsavannah
    Well, he did quit the relationship without telling me, and then went out with someone else. So both of us girls felt like he was doing a cheat thing. I told the other girl I'd been seeing him too. BUT this did NOT break them up! And he DENIED dating her in emails he sent me, even when her pals told me that he was totally dating her. My thing now is this: Why now? Why do this at the eleventh hour? He is graduating in May, or at least he's supposed to. PLUS, we have not been a couple since July of LAST year! I've only spoken to him briefly on the IM and not that for about four months...we were trying to remain friendly, but I cancelled it out. I just didn't feel comfortable with the way he's consistently treated me. I will say that he's done some bad deeds to me in all this. When I first saw him at the library with his new girlfriend I went up to them and looked him in the eye and told him: "If you ever want a hot date, don't call me!" and then simply left. He CONVINCED that girl that I had been calling her a ho! No where did I do that. I guess it just shows the type of liar he is. A convincing one. You don't think he could have done a number on me behind my back and suddenly developed a conscience about it?
  23. savannahohsavannah
    and when I had to go back to school to finish my own work, I saw him. His face turned beet red with ANGER!!!! It was in the East Reading room, where I hang out when I'm there. He is typically in another room on the same floor. What gives? What is wrong with this fella? We have not spoken to each other for SEVEN months! I broke it off entirely with him in July because he went home and said he was seeing someone else. No discussion, no nothing. It was his SECOND chance, and I decided enough is enough.
  24. savannahohsavannah
    If you are feeling sceptical about some of the people in your life stay away from them for a while. That way you can live your life without negative vibes. And then when you are feeling clearer in your OWN life and purpose, see about adding any of these people back into the inner circle. I think what may be happening, if I may get the liberty from you to guess, is that you feel that people took sides in the breakup, his side. And that probably rankled a bit. Although if you look at it, these people who were friends may have no idea you see it this way. They may be people he has known longer or better than you, which could mean they would truly want to stay out of it. Stay chilly with these people for a while but don't freeze!!!
  25. savannahohsavannah
    A map of who he is and what types of behaviors to expect him to do while you are together. And he's waiting to see what he can get away with! Also, the post above was good. DUMP this fella now. He may love ya, but he's a cheater, and if you don't want to deal with that, you are going to have to find someone else for a lover. But I know you won't want to see this, just remember, it's your life you are investing with a man with a S&&&&& track record.
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