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savannahohsavannah

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Everything posted by savannahohsavannah

  1. savannahohsavannah
    I agree that you don't have any responsibilty to this child...not one iota! If you thought that your partner should have used emergency contraception then you should have been able to force her to go to the doctor and get it so she would not get pregnant! If you don't like this child's mom, notwithstanding the millions of divorced couples who have to care for their children every day, even when they hate each other, you should not have to take responsibility for this child. After all, this chick MADE you have sex with her, didn't she?
  2. savannahohsavannah
    I did the same thing last year. I wound up dating someone who was seeing others, I thought as friends, but it turns out it was serious. I felt like an other woman when I thought I was the girl friend! It just goes to show how little reality you have when you are dating a liar. This fella sounds like he may be more into her than you. BUT, if he's dating two women, he probably won't be serious about either of you. If I were her, and it sounds like she's doing this, I'd cut him off from you entirely. I'd tell him that he has to go out with me and me only or we are over. AND if she IS able to do this successfully it means he's REALLY INTO her. The way I see it, you can stay friends with bene's, or you can just find someone else. I have fought to hold onto bf's with mixed results. There is a bad by product of conflict over guys: tension in social situations if you and the women and her friends are in a school or other social setting together. Also, some holding on can spark a girl fight, where the girls compete over the guy simply so the other girl can't have him. I decided that the ex's new gf, the one he cheated on me with, is with him for this reason. She tells her pals that she's just "not that into him"! In short, my experience proved to me that fighting to hold onto someone just isn't worth it. If he wants someone else let him to it. Most likely he's just floating from flower to flower anyway... Good luck...please find someone who is good to you...
  3. savannahohsavannah
    I know it's difficult to see someone walk off with your fella but his reasons are honorable. Is there any way you can find a new guy to go out with? You did not say how old you are, and if either of you has ever been married before. Some more details would be nice to know. He did say however that he is going to be there for those children if they are his. I say put this fella on hold in the same way that he has put you on hold. Any guys that you felt a flicker of interest in, go out with them! This is not about you two as a couple any more, it's about you as an individual.... I can feel what a big shock this was for you, but please just plow on ahead.... Savannah
  4. savannahohsavannah
    Stari is right. You can fool yourself and say you are very sexual, but in reality you are repressing your sex drive for reasons. There is always the possibility that you will be just as turned off by a woman who wants to have sex with you after marriage. Most people who are into virginity are young and idealistic. But no one will ever live up, or down depending on how you see it, to your lofty ideals.
  5. savannahohsavannah
    But that is the nature of the debate here. Are we, as a group of people who would like to help Kbelles, going to give her advice that puts her, at age 19, an age where she should be having fun, in danger? Staying with this fella is danger. Avman, let us handle this discussion please. If we have two differing schools of thought on how to deal with violence and rapists, then kbelles will see both sides. But she must see them honestly to make her own choice.
  6. savannahohsavannah
    Thank you Amethyst for pointing out the cycle of abuse. Sometimes that abuse escalates to death. Kbelles is risking that. And Ticklebug, where do you get your information? I got mine from years of study of criminal psychology. Many moons ago, say about 15 years, when they were writing the DSM IV, there was a movement afoot to make a personality disorder diagnosis of men who raped. It was halted by the US Govt. (Dept of Justice, Attorney General's Office) because it would automatically give any rapist in the U.S. an insanity defense. That being said I can't waste anymore time on Kbelles. She was anally raped by a man she cares about, and it's her call as to when she says enough. I hope it's before he exposes you to the AIDS causing virus, or before he kills you.
  7. savannahohsavannah
    You sound jealous to me.
  8. savannahohsavannah
    LMAO! You sure are the jealous green eyed girl type, aren't you? Put off hum? Well, you bought it! You overreacted over nothing. I've got to say that NO ONE is going to wait a full three years to make a move on their ex. I think they do have a connnection, but it doesn't sound like it jeapordizes anything you have with him. Remember, you only own part of his heart and soul. What, no ex bf's you are still friends with? Aha! Maybe that is part of the problem!
  9. savannahohsavannah
    I don't want to repeat myself so I won't. This fella is someone you should never see again. How bad does he have to hurt you for you to let go? Does he have to break your nose? And rough anal sex is a great way to get HIV. I hope he was wearing a condom. Let this moron go!!!!
  10. savannahohsavannah
    Mentor, these men have almost no hope of ever rehabilitating, this is why some states have left an open door for almost unlimited incarceration. I don't think any woman should EVER stick by a guy who does this to her counseling or not! Savannah
  11. savannahohsavannah
    And you are going back for more? I can't believe it? You know that angry nasty face he showed you during the rape? That is who he REALLY is when his mask of sanity is off. You may have a few people tell you it's okay to keep this rapist as a bf, but I disagree entirely. You are young, how old is he? His violent behaviors will simply escalate. They have already, according to you. It's just one more leap up. Your luckiest result will be in never seeing him again! Ask your mother!!!
  12. savannahohsavannah
    Do you still want your ex, or are you just upset because he has someone new and you don't? People do that sometimes. It's also hard to see him happy with someone else, especially if you two could not work it out between you to be happy together. I don't mean to be negative...that is just how romance plays out sometimes. And we simply have to take a deep breath and go out with the next fella....
  13. savannahohsavannah
    I am not married. I have friends who have been married for years, who rarely and never have sex anymore. In my bf/gf relationships, I've found that any type of halt to the sexual component of a relationship bodes no good. I usually don't agree with therapy, but I see that you do need some, for yourself to deal with your self-esteem issues. You could also do things to help boost your self confidence. Do things successfully, enjoy even your small successes. Let them act as a way to find your worth. All of life is small acts that build each day!
  14. savannahohsavannah
    I see where you are coming from about the olive branch later on, but I have to admit I don't know if it's a good thing for Askdan to stay involved with this gal. Especially since she thinks, or says, that he has mistreated her. Obviously there was some problem there, and while Askdan wants to help, I don't see that he will be able to. I think in the long run it would just hurt him and her too. Askdan, I know you spent five years of your life with this person but sometimes you need to let go for everyone's sake.
  15. savannahohsavannah
    He needs to be 18 OR he has to have graduated from high school. If you graduate at 17 you can legally move out. I think many states do emancipated minors at about 16 but the courts have to do that so you have to go to legal aid and speak to an attorney. And you do have to prove that you would be able to support yourself.
  16. savannahohsavannah
    Scout: While you may think it's okay to tell someone they need help. I disagree. Someone who is already ill has to see it for themselves. Anything that you say will almost never get past their defense mechanisms and can also serve a negative impact. And I have to ask myself, what is the purpose of AskDan saying this to his ex gf? I know if an ex of mine ever said that to me I'd ignore every word they said. It could come off as an *I'm better than you are* statement. I don't agree with anyone other than a parent or a teacher or spouse doing the "confrontational you-need-help speech".
  17. savannahohsavannah
    . if you havn't heard a no..don't give up.. I want to hera a no from a girl Actually I would not go that far. I don't think it's ever a good idea to literally show up and *demand* an answer. Sometimes dates say no in kind ways, they don't call, they don't seem interested. I think you have to listen to that! But in the situation I posted in response to, I think there was plenty of reason to think that this girl might be interested in being friends, and that is where it ALL begins....
  18. savannahohsavannah
    I think I've seen this question before on the board. I think I told you before that you can't do anything to help her. You are her ex bf, not her mom, or her therapist. And of course with the mood swings and screaming fits...could it be that she felt that you did something dirty to her that inspired these fits? Some ladies, bipolar or not, have intense feelings when it comes to their love relationships and don't play nice. Did you play nice with her? Ask her one day! Ask her what she thought about the way you treated her when you were together. I'll bet you won't get the response you are thinking.
  19. savannahohsavannah
    I think you should just offer him the card and present, since you've bought them with no comment other than Happy Birthday.
  20. savannahohsavannah
    Someone who had broken up with me who randomly called me might concern me a bit. I'd be thinking that maybe they were sorry they broke up with me, and respond accordingly. But I don't see that as a serious concern coming from you, so I will presume that you were friends first and foremost, and she was simply calling to chat. I would not take it seriously, in fact I might not even make myself available to them on the phone. Especially if it's hurting you, which is what I hear in your post.
  21. savannahohsavannah
    Liars Make Bad Friends! That being said, you have already acknowledged that you knew he lied to you. Why do you want this LOSER back in your life? Let him go and move on. Savannah
  22. savannahohsavannah
    No! Do not lose hope. She gave you the name of a movie she'd like to see. Get her to that movie! When a girl/woman *specifically* says she wants to do something, and you don't go along with this *idea*, it can be a deal breaker at the right time (beginning, or trouble spot) in the relationship. So, if you are interested, try to work it out. The time to worry is when she's never available for *any kind of contact*. So, my say is try to get her to the movie with you and just see what happens. She may or may not realize you have a crush on her.
  23. savannahohsavannah
    You can't change her, and if she has a personality disorder you REALLY can't change her, and likely neither can a therapist. 88 percent of people with PD's get no help from therapy or drugs. So this is the deal: what you have now with this young lady is likely what she will always be. Can you handle it or no? Savannah
  24. savannahohsavannah
    Just call her in a week to say hi. But don't be shocked if she's not really that into you. I hate to say it, but she does not sound like your gf material, at least not at this time. Could you simply date someone else and make sure she hears/sees it? That is my advice!
  25. savannahohsavannah
    Just forget her and move on. Wounded pride is lousy, but it's better to get even by being happy and getting to watch all the stupid things she does. This woman does not have a clue. Not one. People who cheat wind up with a rep as a cheater and eventually only get players as dates. Losers!
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