Cadence308
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Everything posted by Cadence308
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It sounds like he knew this girl from a school that he used to go to, but they never really hung out and got to be friends back then, but now they correspond through the internet. Just suggest getting together with her some time. Ask her if she's seen a new movie that is in the theatre. Just say, "Do you like movies? Have you seen blah, blah, blah that is in the theatres now? We should meet some time and go see that movie." You already know her so this shouldn't be that hard to orchestrate. If there's something that you two have in common that you think she couldn't pass up, invite her to do it with you.
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She sounds fickle and immature. She doesn't know what she wants. She wants to see if the pasture is greener elsewhere, but she doesn't want to lose you. Start to have a life without her. She may come back to you, but I don't suggest waiting around for her. Detach a little from her. You should stay friends with her, if you can, but move on.
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It sounds like his attention and teasing you had a big effect on you and almost made you drawn to him. I'm not sure why he would flirt with you extensively, then ignore you, and then flirt again. It sounds to me like he could like you. Since you are drawn to him, suggest getting together to do something that you both have in common. Like if you ever talk about movies say, "We should go see that some time." Good luck!
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The picture of the 2 of you is a good one. A mixed cd is a good idea even though he's already used that one. A romantic letter would be a nice idea. Candy is a good idea. Go to the store and walk around and just be creative. You know what he likes. Send him alien stickers.
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Sounds like she's venting. Often when a guy is interested in me and I'm SO NOT interested in him, but he keeps pursuing me, I'll say that he doesn't stand a chance. It's more about being annoyed than anything else.
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was thinking of calling my ex?
Cadence308 replied to sbrew21's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I agree with Scout. Don't call your ex. You are just feeling lonely and desperate, and maybe a little horny since that guy flaked on you. You are maybe feeling a little undesired and are thinking of calling the ex because he called you last week. Obviously, if you wanted to talk to the ex you would have picked up the phone when he called last week. Go out with a girlfriend or go buy yourself a new shirt and you'll feel better. You might even meet someone new by going out. -
From what I understand of the story, your father was sexually abusing your sister for some time and would also emotionally abuse her for doing stupid things like dragging her feet when walking? If this is the case, if you think that you could talk to your father about what happened and it would make you feel better about the whole situation, then I would do it. He will probably deny ever doing it and it may make your relationship awkward with him like you said. If you don't talk to him you are always going to wonder about it. I think if I were you my relationship with him would be awkward anyway knowing what he had done to my sister. I don't think that I could ever trust him alone with my own kids and I would always wonder if he had touched other children in this way. I have a hard time believing that pedophiles can really change their actions, thoughts, and behaviors. It's like an addiction.
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Do you think you might be bisexual? Is she the only woman that you're attracted to or are you attracted to other women? Do other women arouse you as much as gay men in porn? Does gay porn turn you on the most? Do you ever think about having a long-term sexual and emotional relationship with a man? You really need to think about your feelings and maybe some of those questions, which I posed to you. Only you can truly answer the question of if you are gay or not. Have you thought about counseling to try to help you sort things out? I don't recommend having sex with your current gf until you sort things out a bit more. I think that could really devastate her and I really commend you for being able to care enough about her to acknowledge that.
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Since you are married and this guy that you are interested is too, it doesn't sound like the best idea to get involved. However, I'm attracted to someone who has been in an 8 yr marriage, but I'm single, and can't say that I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to have an affair. This person drives me crazy and I don't know why. So, who am I to pass judgment?! I guess what you need to decide is if it is worth it to have an affair with this married man and why? It sounds like he has no problems being unfaithful and I'm sure would do it again, if the opportunity arose. Evelyn said it best...are you craving the attention or are you bored and wanting excitement in your life? Also, just because this man is not attractive sounding, there must be something driving you to him. Attraction is a strange thing! You've had counseling and that didn't do much. Sleep with this guy, if you get the chance and tell us what happens.
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I think if you are that worried about your friend you should talk to her about it. Tell her that you would like to spend more time with her, but she doesn't seem to ever want to do anything. On the other hand, she sounds like a smart cookie, preparing for her future. I really respect kids that have their heads on straight and have goals and reach for them. There's something really commendable about them. I was one of those kids so that's probably why I'm saying this. Also, do her parents work hard? Do they push your friend? That could be part of it. I had this friend growing up and throughout high school all she did was work hard and do school work. Her parents wanted her to be an overachiever and she was. She could have been valedictorian of our class, but she got a B in a cooking class. Pretty funny, considering that she was taking classes like calculus, physics, and chemistry in high school. So I always thought she was really uptight. Then when we got to college she went crazy. She partied it up, drinking and smoking weed, having sex. Now I would say she's sort of a hippie, but I lost touch with her and haven't heard from her in a while. She dropped out of college because she failed some classes and last I heard she went back, although I don't know if she finished. Anyway, that's my story of my uptight friend who changed once she got out from under her uptight parents.
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Some women get their periods throughout their pregnancy so I don't think just because she did have her period that she's not pregnant. Hormonal fluctuations differ between individuals and that's what controls menstruation. She said that this has been going on for a month now. You need to buy a home pregnancy test ASAP or go to a walk-in clinic or family planning. You can't keep wondering about this and you need to get tested. Take care of yourself!
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The best way to get rid of unwanted hair is by laser hair removal or electrolysis. However, these are really expensive methods, but they are permanent. The thing with electrolysis is that they do each hair follicle so it takes forever and you have to do multiple treatments. I have tried electrolysis before and it wasn't too painful, just a little pinch. The hair grew back so I'm not sure how many treatments are actually needed. You have to do multiple treatments with laser hair removal, but they can laser a large area so it moves hairly quickly. For both of these methods hair regrowth depends on what stage of growth the hair follicle is in because the goal is ultimately to kill the hair follicle so no regrowth occurs. I'm considering laser hair removal, myself. I wax my bikini line sometimes and I love it. It's so clean down there and regrowth takes a lot longer than that with shaving. Plus, when the hair grows back in it's less coarse than with shaving. I buy a wax called Brazilian Bikini wax and I'm sure you could get it at any cosmetics store. I get mine at Sally's. It hurst a little, but I usually wax in small areas. I haven't ever waxed the whole thing, yet, but that's next. I think I'm also going to try waxing my legs. My friend does that and she loves it. I wouldn't recommend shaving your back. The hair will grow back a lot thicker and probably more hair than was originally there. If you are going to do anything there I would go with laser hair removal. If that's too expensive then waxing would be the way to go.
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Shorty is right. It sounds like you've given up. Try not to focus so much on not having someone and just try to meet people and become friends and see what happens. Although, by doing this you and any of us who have same-sex attractions do run the risk of falling for someone who is heterosexual. This is a bit funny, but have you thought of joining a homosexual singles group at a neighborhood church? I don't know. I had this heterosexual friend several years ago who was in her late 30s and she was a liberal. She used to take her family to a homosexual church (she had 3 kids) because she said the people there were open minded. I'm not into church so this would be an absolute last resort for me!
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Girls, How can us men maximise our attractiveness??
Cadence308 replied to 1927city's topic in Dating Advice
I agree that you shouldn't try to split them up, but you shouldn't really hang out, hoping that they'll break up soon. Because even if the latter happens you'll just be the rebound. I don't think you want that, either. Go out there, meet and date other women, and try to forget her! If you follow my advice and try to seem irresistible to other women, women like men who are intelligent and can carry on a conversation. Women don't like guys who are intimidated by education or intelligence, esp. if the woman has those. Guys who are sincere and not players or just out there looking for sex are also the kind of guys women like. Guys who keep commitments, do what they say they will, and tell the girl how wonderful she is are also important. Having something in common helps be attractive and being physically good looking helps. -
Swtich gave some great advice. It sounds like she wants to see what else is out there right now and doesn't want to be tied down. You guys should set some boundaries and stick to those. I wouldn't wait around for her, if I were you. Get out there and date some other girls and open yourself up to new possibilities! Good luck!
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Well, I don't have the best of advice and I'm still figuring things out in my own head. Do they have gay or lesbian organizations in Australia? I know that you study at the university and the universities in the states have organizations that meet regularly and it's supposed to be a good way to meet others to date or befriend. That's something to consider. Also, you are not as old as you think you are. You are also not too old for children. Have you thought of the possibilities of getting artificially impregnated? That's an option if children are something that you really want. Adoption may be another option. I'm not sure how Australia handles single parent or homosexual adoptions. Joining a gym and meeting people there is an option. The more you expose yourself and get out there, the better chance you have of finding someone. That's all I can think of for now, but I may reply back to your post.
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I'm not sure, maybe. Hopefully someone more sexually experienced can provide more insight to that! I think once you become more experienced sexually and what turns you on and such, then you will know the answer to that question. I'm sure that the 2 orgasms could feel quite different. Try masturbating and see if you can bring yourself to orgasm. I didn't even know I had a vagina at your age. I didn't start masturbating until I was 19 yrs old. Also, with masturbating you will get to know what feels good and what you like. Many say that it helps with your sex life when you get one because you will be more comfortable with your body and can communicate that with your partner.
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Shorty4ever, I don't think you should write your friend a letter. Letters can seem so impersonal if the person isn't far away. Also, if you give him a letter then that doesn't give him an opportunity to ask questions and you lose all nonverbal communication. I think it's important for you to be able to see his intial reaction when you come out to him. I think you two should go somewhere private where you won't be interrupted. You need to verbally tell this guy face to face. You should also plan out what you are going to say to him during this time and also think about ALL possible reactions and questions that he could ask you. Let us know how he takes it.
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I agree that you both seem busy and you shouldn't read too much into it at this point. Also, since she is younger than you, I'm assuming that she does not have tenure at this point and maybe you don't, either. So that's something to consider. I know how demanding academics can be. I just finished my master's degree and plan to pursue a Ph.D. in the sciences. I would give her a few more chances to go out with you. She flirts with you and talks with you. It was just one time she was busy and had to cancel. At least she didn't stand you up. Good luck!
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I don't advocate for anyone to try to lose 30 lbs in one month. That is very unhealthy and most people will put the weight back on. I guess the only real way to lose that much weight in one month is by liposuction and I don't recommend that. RayKay gave good advice. It's about a lifestyle chance. Get into weight lifting. The more muscle you have, the more metabolically active you will be during the day and you can eat more and be smaller, although you may actually weigh more. Muscle is more dense and weighs more than fat. I would go by how your clothes fit and how you feel. Also, increase your cardiovascular activity. Walking is great and buying a digi-walker and keeping track of how many steps per day you accumulate is a good idea. Start parking your car further from your destination and walking, take the stairs instead of the elevator, go for a walk after dinner instead of watching TV. Diet is also important for weight loss. Increase consumption of fruits and veggies. Cut back or delete fried foods and calorically empty foods from your diet, such as junk food. Cut back on eating out to maybe 1 time a week. Many beverages contain a great deal of calories. I would avoid the Starbucks lattes, mochas, and frappuccinos or anything along those lines. Soft drinks are also high in emtpy calories. Consume low fat cheese, milk, and dairy products, as well as meats that are low-fat such as turkey or chicken. Good luck and don't do anything stupid like try to lose 30 lbs in one month!
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I agree that these girls being flakes are a sign of the times. However, I also think girls are raised to be more submissive than boys so we are less likely to let a person know that we are interested or we don't like them because it might hurt their feelings. So there are several reasons why you didn't hear from these girls. 1) Maybe they weren't interested in you and couldn't let you know about it. 2) Maybe they just got busy and maybe person B forgot about your get-together. For rude! If and when she does call, tell her you're not interested. 3) Maybe they're flakes and do this all of the time. 4) Maybe person A started dating someone else. Keep trying! We are not all like this.
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I think DBL is right and that you and your husband should try counseling, but you said that you already tried that. Clearly, you are not happy in your marriage and a partnership is 2 people and not 1. He is the only one in your relationship who is getting their needs met. Maybe the best thing to do is to leave him for a while. I think it's normal for people who have been married a long time to have separate friends and interests, but he won't even give you the time of day or express interest in your life and interests. Maybe you could be happier with someone else. Also, are you sure your husband is not having an affair? Just had to throw that out there. He never has time for you, is always gone, calls when going from one place to the next. Good luck and take care of you. Don't get stepped on and taken forgranted!
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I slightly disagree with everyone. Jealousy is about a perceived loss or the thought of a perceived loss. It is a normal feeling and can be really frustrating at times. Jealousy also can be a sign that someone cares and I'm wondering if that's what your gf is doing to you. Maybe she wants to see how much you care for her so she's trying to make you jealous by talking about this other hot girl and the things that she would like to do with her. You really should talk to your gf about this. Tell her how it makes you feel. Lovers really shouldn't talk about how hot someone else is or what they would like to do with them. I would be feeling very jealous and insecure in the relationship, too. Tell us what happens. Ballys
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I think you had an orgasm. I have heard that the vaginal walls contract, but I don't know...I'll have to see how I feel next time I masturbate and get back to you on that one. Give me a day or two! I know that women can orgasm from being touched in their g-spot and if your boyfriend was fingering you, maybe you had a vgainal orgasm. But, you didn't have vaginal contractions, so maybe you had a clitoral orgasm. Whenever I masturbate I always play with my clit and that does the trick. That's where I like to be touched. I'm pretty sure you had an orgasm! OOh-aah!
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Tea, DBL has good advice about you need to relieve yourself more and get some toys. Here's my advice: or get into a research laboratory where nobody is there at night and you can touch and play whenever the thought moves you! DBL, they don't have cameras in the lab, although my boss is such a perv. He's too cheap, though. He's always trying to cut back money and budgets somehow.