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Cadence308

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Everything posted by Cadence308

  1. Cadence308
    The element of a surprise is a good idea. You could try that. When I read your post and how everything is good in your relationship with the exception of physical intimacy I thought of my friend that had a similar problem a few years ago. Her bf was really stressed about work and his sex drive was seriously dimished. She would complain about it to me on a daily basis. It was frustrating and stressful for her as well. Is your bf stressed out about anything in his life like work? Men are normally horn dogs as two2twinface acknowledged. However, when they are stressed or upset hormones change normal physiological responses so that they become impotent and don't want sex. This is normal for any stressed mammal. It's the flight or fight response. You need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling about the lack of interest in you sexually, though because you are feeling rejected and undesirable. It's affecting your relationship.
  2. Cadence308
    Welcome to broken hearts-ville! I'm in love too and there's a good chance it won't be reciprocated. I guess it's just part of being human. We have to take risks and hope that others feel as we do, and depend on the position of the moon and stars for things to work out. Maybe love isn't quite that random. Sometimes doing things can help us get our minds off of things that are emotional. For example, taking up a new sport, taking a pottery or dance class, or going out places to meet new people can make things easier. I think if you make an effort to get out there and distract yourself in positive ways then eventually your heartache will go away. If you see this person that you are in love with on a regular basis things will probably not be that simple. Maybe you should try no contact for a while because not seeing this person and spending time with them will help take your mind off of them. On the other hand, there's no medicine to make people forget things. Current biomedical therapies are being researched to prevent forgetfulness associated with Alzheimer's disease. So you really should be thankful to have your memory intact. However, in a movie that I saw a few years ago a woman went to her doctor because she was trying to get over heartache and asked her doctor to remove her amygdala, which is a region of the brain that is responsible for emotions. So unless you have that removed you are probably going to have heartaches like the rest of us.
  3. Cadence308
    I agree with S4il. You need to talk to him about your feelings for him and tell him that you can't do this any longer. You need him to listen to you and tell him that. Maybe he has feelings for you and you two can have a romantic relationship, but you need to re-establish the boundaries with him. Also, exert some self-control when you try to talk to him. Push him away when he tries to get frisky. Tell him you are serious and that you need to talk to him and for him to listen.
  4. Cadence308
    I think it's fine to take a girl somewhere casual on a first date. Coffee or lunch is a good idea. That allows you the chance to get to know each other. Some people think that hanging out and dating are the same things and some don't. It's really up for interpretation, but you can use that to your advantage. For example, if there's a girl that you've been talking to and you want to get to know her and date her you can say, "Hey, we should get together some time," or ""We should hang out some time." Most girls will think that you are interested because women have a tendency to analyze and over-analyze everything.
  5. Cadence308
    The definition of cheating is sort of up to the couple involved. You said that you talked with you bf about what you did in Spain and still dated after that so I wouldn't worry about that. It sounds like he has maybe been cheating on you with this other girl that you and someone else saw at the movies. It also sounds like when you confronted him about it that he lied about it. The fact that you two have had this on and off relationship of being together and then breaking up sounds like you guys can't have a healthy committed relationship. Maybe you two should call it quits?
  6. Cadence308
    This man is a jerk! I think that you need to move on. He can only think of himself. It also sounds like his thoughts towards women are tainted. In addition, he needs counseling to get over his issues. Has he received any counseling? I can't believe that you service him and he treats you like a gas station with no return of the love or physical intimacy. Girl, you can do better! you deserve a man who will love you, respect you, make love to you, and give you the emotional and physical intimacy that you desire. I think that you should really consider leaving this guy unless he agrees to counseling.
  7. Cadence308
    Yeah, join the club. I need to get over a crush too that pretty much told me that she's too busy for me. I am heartbroken, but can't stop thinking about her.
  8. Cadence308
    I heard stopping cold turkey is the best way. Sometimes it's best to substitute a healthier, newer habit for an old, negative one. When I was trying to give up caffeine (frappuccinos and soda pop) I didn't know how. I have sugar cravings, but wanted to cut back and give up caffeine because it was giving me sleeping problems. I substituted Gatorade for those things. So instead of going to the gas station or Starbucks for my normal drinks I stop by the gas station and get a 32 oz Gatorade on ice. So far so good. I haven't had a frappuccino since Aug. 15 and can't remember the last time I had a soda pop. It's now Nov. 22 and I don't really miss those things. Maybe your friend should start exercising instead of smoking. I know people who have done that and are now marathon runners.
  9. Cadence308
    It sounds like your friend may have problems with depression. You should take her seriously. Is she suicidal? You could also be suffering from depression. It sounds like sometimes your friend brings you down, but some of may be biochemical. Have you thought about talking to a counselor about your friend and yourself? It's also tough being a teenager. I think that could also be part of it. I don't miss those teen years. The 20s were a better time or have been a better time for me. There's not so much pressure to fit in and go with the grain. It's easier to do what I want and be who I want than try to fit in.
  10. Cadence308
    Good for you Apc! Tell us how it goes like if you like the personality and style of your therapist.
  11. Cadence308
    It sounds like she is figuring things out. Maybe you did something that she didn't like and she changed her mind about the whole thing. Maybe she met someone else. Maybe she's just been busy. You just need to come out and ask her if she still wants to see you or ask her to go out again some time.
  12. Cadence308
    You need to ask him. If he's holding your hand and you are letting him that means that he has some interest in you and is probably thinking that you have some interest in him.
  13. Cadence308
    I agree that you should try to talk to your mom about this. If she doesn't listen or things don't change I would consider moving out and getting a place of your own. You are 19 yrs old and an adult and she should respect you and treat you as such. She sounds like my mom a lot when I was younger. In fact, my mom was so bad that I graduated from high school when I was 17 yrs old and got a place of my own. She would just take out all of her frustrations on me and get in my business. I just felt she was really judgmental and b*itchy.
  14. Cadence308
    Don't be embarrassed about the age of your dad. There's nothing you can do about it. People have kids at different ages and your dad was a little older when you were born. That's all there is to it and I'm sure others will see it that way. We all age and that's just part of life...a very natural part of life. Most of us would like to do something about our biological age and also our physical age, but we can't. I think as you get older and more comfortable with yourself you won't be quite so embarrassed. Just enjoy your dad and be proud of who he is. Try to think that he has just had the opportunity to have more experiences in life than most of your friends' dads because he is older.
  15. Cadence308
    I'm sorry that your 25 yr old boyfriend can't act like an adult and talk to you. On the other hand, does he have a reason not to trust you? Why did you break up?
  16. Cadence308
    I think that if you want to get technical you are still a virgin. However, some people say that even when 2 women get together and have oral that's sex. It just depends on what your definition of sex is. I guess you are probably referring to vaginal sex and since that's the case you already answered your own question and you are not a virgin, but you need to finish the job emotionally, as everyone said.
  17. Cadence308
    You are in an unhealthy relationship and should get out. Do you have low self-esteem issues? Is that why you are still with this guy? He treats you like crap, cheats on you and even with your friend, and you get back with him. I think that you should question your friendships if you have friends that would sleep with your boyfriend and then tell you to get back with him. For some reason you are choosing people that treat you badly and I think that you should look within yourself and ask why.
  18. Cadence308

    Thongs

    Cadence308 replied to robowar's topic in Sex and Romance

    Yeah, it makes us feel sexy to wear thongs.
  19. Cadence308
    It's not an STD, is it? You should see your doctor to get them removed. Warts are due to a viral infection that is carried in the blood, I believe. You shouldn't be expunging them like a pimple because the causes are different so you are not getting at the root of the problem, which is the virus. I'm sure you're not the only one that has had this happen. Just go to the doc and I'm sure you will be able to get rid of these permanently.
  20. Cadence308
    I agree that you two should be old enough to make your own decisions. Sure it is am embarrassing situation, but hopefully her parents can get over it. It does depend on what their attitude about sex and their daughter is. I hope they are not religious because having premarital sex is a sin!
  21. Cadence308
    I liked CarterJonas' idea. Write her a letter and say what you want to say and then burn it. Move on and maintain the no contact. Really, what do you want to come out of the letter? Just to show her that you moved on? It's just better to move on and not to look back at this broken relationship.
  22. Cadence308
    Everyone else already said. Cut the sexual ties. He's the one calling all of the shots in whatever kind of relationship this is. It's not fair and by you having sex with him, you are giving away all of your power. You want the relationship and he just wants to be in the baby's life and not yours, but it's okay for you to have sex with him. You need to move on, find someone who wants a part in your life and your kids' lives.
  23. Cadence308
    I would just ask her if she's seen a new movie out at the theatres and if she says no, just say, "Do you want to go and see it some time?" I think she'll say yes.
  24. Cadence308
    It's not weird. You two swapped numbers. I would get his number and call him.
  25. Cadence308
    Muneca is right. You are not in a good situation and that was not smart of you to help him save his marriage. Get out, RUN!
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