Cadence308

shygirl, it sounds like you had an orgasm. I've never had sex before or allowed someone to finger me, but I know what a self-induced orgasm feels like. What you just described sounds like an orgasm. It can take a woman a long time to reach an orgasm and you sound like you were so fulfilled after the experience. After I masturbate, sometimes I get really tired and take a short cat nap. Everything just feels so relaxed and, yes, I guess you can say everything feels tingly. And yes, an orgasm brings on uncontrollable shaking and I get really, really wet. It feels very good!

DBL, you are funny! You should ask your boss if you can take 15 min. at work to relieve stress. Chances are your boss won't get what you mean. I was at work last night when I masturbated. Just felt the urge to relieve some tension and it worked. I felt tons better. However, I work at the university and I was there late working on a paper so no one was around and the laboratory is locked during off hours and that's where my computer is located. It was very late and no one was around. The chance of getting busted was slim-to-none. I've been thinking about sex a lot lately, though. Mostly because I've had someone special on my mind!

DBL are you implying that you're not special? JK I think you should send my boss the bill for helping to keep me happy while I'm at work! LOL

I'm thinking sex is actually in the self-esteem level in the hierarchy of needs. It feels so good!

I was thinking about sex, but I'm not now because I just mastubated...and I was using Scout's philosophy: It doesn't have to be about someone special!"

Self-actualization could include giving back to others. But, it also includes being the best that we can be. Most people never get there, but we try. I think education, such as college could also fit into self-actualization. Things like going on a mission, joining the peace corps, etc. would fit in there, also. I think the whole point of self-actualization is to get us to realize that we really never reach our full potential. Life is a process of all of these things that happen to us and we are always trying to be better. Maslow also theorized that people can move through any of these stages at different points in their lives. It makes sense if one day you are living in the US and eating hamburgers and biggie size fries from McDonald's, listening to a psychology lecture on Maslow at college and a week later you are in the peace corps in Africa and not sure if and when you are going to get your next meal.

No sex or thinking about it for you DBL! LOL [-X

Hey Muneca and DBL, whatever you have to do to get your needs met or reach self-actualization, go for it!

I agree with Scout..."they don't even have to be that special." LOL I guess I forgot to mention alcohol can also affect how much women think about and want sex. I don't know...how many drinks do you have till they're cute? Ops brought up a good point, also. How much a person thinks about sex depends on what's going on in their life at the time. I mentioned stress. I guess it all goes back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs from psychology 101. The basis of the pyramid is made up of physiological needs, such as food, water, and excretion of wastes. When those needs are met, then a person focuses on getting and receiving love (family and friends). When that's accomplished then he/she moves on to achieve self-esteem. The last level is self-actualization. Maslow theorized that people move through these multiple levels and their needs change, depending upon their circumstances. It makes perfect sense. So, would sex be under self-actualization? \

excelalways, you sound really depressed. How long have you been feeling irresolute and crying for no reason? Those are sure signs of someone who is severely depressed. Even though you have supportive people in your life and it seems like things should be okay, but they're not, it could mean that you have a biochemical imbalance. This has nothing to do with your situation, but the signals in your brain. There are new drugs out there and they are improving all of the time. Have you thought about talking to a professional counselor about the way you have been feeling? They could help you talk about the way you are feeling and help you get on some medications. I also have depression and have felt like you many times. I've also tried some drugs to minimize my bad feelings. My depression also seems to have a seasonal component to it. I get more blue in the wintertime. I'm not on any drugs right now because some of them were actually making me feel worse than without them. I still have my down days, though. I hope you get some help so that you can feel good again.

Everyone already gave you good advice. I had my first kiss when I was 10 y.o. My boyfriend at the time was a real horn-dog. Anyway, try practicing on your arm first. I wouldn't recommend trying to stick your tongue out right away or to slam it down the guy's throat. Start slowly, lips slightly apart, and lightly kiss your partner, then slowly stick your tongue in his mouth. Just play with his tongue with yours. That's the best way to explain kissing. Enjoy the sensations and work your way into sucking and playful biting! Oops...forgot you are 13 y.o.

She's in the show. I just went back and read it. Okay, I missed that part. Dude, you need to go to the show to support your friend. You are being way TOO cheap! [-X Don't lie to her and tell her you don't have the money because it sounds like you do since you just bought a new house and she's likely to realize it. Fork out the $25 if she's a good friend. If you don't she'll be really hurt. I would be!

I also heard that guys think about sex a lot. You asked how often women think about sex...that depends on several things, in my opinion, like hormones and if there's someone special or if we're stressed. Stress decreases libido through hormones, namely by an increase in cortisol. It seems like when it's closer to that time of the month, most of my friends tell me they feel hornier and they also crave chocolate. If there's someone special that a woman is thinking about, well...I shouldn't have to elaborate more on that one!

People get jealous in response to a perceived sense of loss or a threat of a loss. It's a common emotion that all humans should feel at some time or another. If we don't then there's something wrong. Good luck trying to control it!

Muneca is right! This guy is a player and I wouldn't try to set my friend up with him. I wouldn't be sleeping with him, either, if I were you. You are developing feelings for him so it's no longer a friends with benefits situation. You really should get out of your situation.

Justin, you said that you know this girl from elementary school and sounds like she recognizes you in the weight room. I would walk up to her next time you see her in the weight room and say, "I think I know you...I'm Justin. Did we go to elementary school together?" Then see what she says. Since you know her from your past, use that as leverage to begin a conversation with her and see where it leads.

I agree with Scout. You already said that you are interested in this friend just not the show. Spend the money, if this is the case! If you just don't want to spend the money on this show because you really aren't that interested in it, but like the friend and want to spend time with her then tell her you aren't that interested in the show and suggest doing something else with her.

Lilithcave22, your ex sounds really selfish and sounds like she is only thinking of herself. Some of the lesbian books I read talk about "permanence or passion," and that's what we have to decide when choosing to stay with someone we've been with or date someone new. Sounds like she is choosing passion. Honestly, it did sound like she had found someone else when you originally posted. That's why I asked you. Maybe what you need to ask her is if you are totally breaking up or opening the relationship up. I'm not sure if you have discussed that with her. Maybe you aren't okay with that, but sometimes in lesbian relationships that's what partners decide. About calling her for her mom's birthday: that's your choice, but it sounds like right now she doesn't want to talk to you because she's so caught up in her new romance. I think I wouldn't call her and let her miss you! Good luck and keep me posted!

Dead Eyes, yes, starting a conversation by playing dumb is good because it's subtle. That's the way a woman usually does things. Starting a conversation with her is enough to let her know that you are interested because she will realize that you noticed her. Women are very analytical and sometimes overly-analytical. The way you started talking to that girl was very good. A conversation also leaves a girl with something to remember you by other than a pick up line or just telling her your name and asking for a number. She'll be more likely to say yes to a date or to give you her "real" number if she likes you and knows you a little. Women are also big conversationalists. If you know this about us then you know something that most men NEVER realize. We like to talk and over-talk stuff. So even though you may think small talk is boring and a waste of time, I promise you, it's not! Good luck and tell us what happens!

I just gave a rough estimate of 3 good conversations because I think about 3 good conversations gives both people a chance to get to know one another a little bit. What you need to do is just talk to whoever it is you want to ask out and see how it goes. Try those approaches that I gave you to start with. The thing with just compliments are that some girls think you are just trying to pick them up or just want one thing. Even though compliments may be sincere, they don't show your character or who you are and don't give the girl a chance to really say anything to let you know that you are listening to her and care what she thinks. If you are able to actually have a conversation with a girl, that's letting her know that you care about what she thinks about things and you are interested in getting to know her, not just wanting to get into her pants or make out. Remember, that if she says yes about going out with you or gives you her number, you are going to have to have a conversation with her anyway. So why not start with one?

If I met the person at school or was introduced I would like to talk with them, have several pretty good conversations that included flirting and in-depth talking for at least a couple of weeks. It would really depend on how many times we actually talked within those few weeks. But, let's say at least about 3 good conversations before I was asked out. I gave my other opinion based on being approached in a public place.

Well, I don't like someone to buy my drinks all night at the bar and think they are getting laid that night. I don't really like it when someone comes up to me and asks my name and then asks for my phone number, either. Women have to be careful because we are vulnerable to stalking, rape, and other hate crimes so a lot of females would or should be reluctant to just give their phone number to some random stranger who just asked their name and wants their phone number. I think the best way to approach someone is to say, "Hi, how are you? What's your name?" Then start a conversation with them. Say something like, "You caught my eye because..." or "I noticed you standing there and wanted to come over and say hello." Women usually respond to those types of lines. Most of us don't like to feel like a piece of meat that some guy wants to have his way with. Sincerity is a must and intelligence is very sexy.

RayKay's suggestion is a good one. I'm not sure what I would do. That is pretty two-faced of your boyfriend to tell his friend one thing and then tell you the complete opposite on the same day. If you don't want to confront him or end the relationship, I would do what RayKay said and build your own life and in a subtle way let him know he's not all you have. If he's iffy about a lot of things or flakes out on you when the two of you have plans then I would consider confronting him or ending the relationship. I think it would break my heart to know my lover, whom I was crazy about, didn't really want to be with me or that there was a strong possibility that they didn't want to be with me. Good luck!

It sounds like you still have self-esteem issues from your last relationship and understandably so. Your ex sounds like such a jerk! 0X Did you ever receive any kind of counseling during or after your cancer ordeal? If not, you might want to consider it. Going through something traumatic like cancer is hard enough, but then you had a boyfriend who rejected physical intimacy with you because of a scar that you got because of your ordeal. Counseling could help you talk through whatever issues you have about the past and also help you understand why you are so repulsed by your new boyfriend's touch. You were never repulsed to be touched by your previous boyfriend before your cancer ordeal, is that correct?

I don't think that telling people what you like about them is a turn on. But, yes, I think it can be a turn-on for someone hearing from another person what that person likes about them- no matter what the relationship is. I think that everyone looks for validation from others. I have an older friend who always says that if she could give away self-esteem she would and almost everyone's problems would be taken care of if more people had higher self-esteem. I agree!