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JoeWho

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Everything posted by JoeWho

  1. JoeWho
    Same thing happened to me mate. We were together for almost ten years and it was great for the first 7 years. Then she dumped me and she was with this new guy a few weeks after we broke up and living together two months after we broke up. Looking back she started getting over our relationship almost two years before we finally broke up (the signs were there but I ignored them). That is how they so easily move on right after ending a LTR. They have been getting over it for a long time before the actual break happens and sometimes they make sure they have something lined up before they oficially end it. True that some people can not stand to be alone. I think it is a tough thing to deal with and I still hate thinking about her being with someone else, but on the bright side at least I never had any false hope of us getting back together. A lot of times I think that a horrible break up is eaiser to get over in the long run than an amicable one. Sure it hurts a lot more, especially immediately after breaking up but false hope is much worse and NC comes naturally when you are gutted.
  2. JoeWho
    Thats good that your ex hasnt contacted you. Trust me you are better off that way. When my ex sends me emails every month or so asking how I am doing it sets me back for a few days, but I never respond. I know you probably have a lot of things that you want to say to him. Just write it out in a journal or something. Writing things out really helps to get things off your chest. Just make sure you never send him anything.
  3. JoeWho
    There is nothing wrong with you at all. Its pretty normal to blame yourself for a breakup even if it wasnt your fault. My ex cheated on me and for a little while I actually thought that it was my fault that she cheated. How crazy is that thinking? That type of thinking only lasted for a couple weeks though and then I could clearly place all the blame where it belonged. In relationships we all make mistakes and when the relationship ends we tend to come down really hard on ourselves for our own mistakes. Best thing for you to do is to forgive yourself for anything you feel you did wrong and then learn from it and then move on when you are ready.
  4. JoeWho
    You'll find your closure from within yourself and not from sending him a letter. Breaking NC will only cause you to think about him and what he is thinking about and if he will respond or not. I'm sure you dont want to go down that road. You have been doing really well with the NC so keep it up!
  5. JoeWho
    I'm with Deejay on this one. What possible good feelings could come from you texting him? Then think about the bad feelings that could come from it. The bad possibilities sure do seem to outweigh the good ones. Protect yourself and just let the day go by. Its just another day to you now. Be Strong
  6. JoeWho
    Good for you!! Kick that loser out and never look back or listen to his lame excuses. I admire you for your composure.
  7. JoeWho
    Yeah, you guys are right and I decided that there is no way in hell I will respond to anything she has to say to me. She is very manipulitive and I know she always has an agenda so there was a reason she is contacting me and I dont want to know what it is anymore. I still feel a little bad about ignoring her, but then agian she didnt give a crap about making me feel horrible when we broke up so any pain I can cause her now makes me feel damn good. Does that make me evil? lol
  8. JoeWho
    You already asked him to respect your wishes and not contact you. He just ignored your wishes, so how does that make you the jerk? Still I know how you feel bad about it as this was once the person you loved. Best thing for both of you guys is to ignore any contact he attempts to make. Eventually he will stop and start to move on.
  9. JoeWho
    This is a question I find myself thinking about all the time and I just dont have an answer 4 months after the final break up. I would like to think that as time passes I will feel like it was worth all the time I spent with her even though it ended badly. This is one question that I think is probably worthless to think about though and when I catch myself thinking about it, I quickly distract myself. Whats done is done and what ifs are a waste of time!
  10. JoeWho
    I know she is still with that guy and I know that she regrets everything that she did. We have some mutual friends who always seem to tell me things when we are drinking. There is no way I would ever be with her again. I also believe the past predicts the future and boy would I be stupid if I even considered her agian. I just think that it is kind of rude for me not to respond because my dog was also her dog so I feel kind of bad not responding when she is asking about my dog but then again she made her choices and they had consequences.
  11. JoeWho
    Yeah there is nothing to say to her. What's done is done and what goes around comes around. Just remember that!!!
  12. JoeWho
    A little history first. My ex and I were together for about 9.5 years. We broke up in May got back together in July (if you could call it that) and we broke up for good in August and she moved out. When she moved out I found out that she had been cheating since at least April ( of course I suspected it but she lied when I asked her). She was dating this chump officially about a month after we broke up and they moven in together at the beginning of December. The last time I spoke to her was on email in October (about money she still owes me) and she sent me another email around Thanksgiving to which I never responded. Yesterday she sent me another email just asking me how I was doing and how my dog was. She said she was good and so was her dog and cat. She said she complety understands if i dont want to talk to her ever but wishes I would respond. Normally I would just ignore her but latley I have not been feeling as strong as I usaully do. Probably because of the holidays and such. Seeing her email really made me sad and I have been thinking about the good times and how it is just such a shame how everything ended the way it did. I almost responded today just saying I am fine and thats it. Anyways I guess I am just looking for some encouragement or advice as this is probably the worst I have felt since the first month of the break up!
  13. JoeWho
    It is going to suck no matter what you do. I watched my ex of 9.5 years move out and it was horrible. Its tought but saying goodbye after being together for a long time is probably the best thing for you. You dont want to feel like you should have said good bye a few months down the road if you dont do it now. Be patient with everything and be prepared for reality to really hit you when all his things are gone from your apartment.
  14. JoeWho
    Eventually the thoughts of your ex will lessen. After 10 years with my ex and now almost 4 months with hardly any contact I still think about her all the time but it just doesnt hurt as much as it did the first say 2 months or so. Of course you will think of your ex, 6 years is a long time to spend with someone so you cant expect to just stop thinking about them after a few weeks or a few months. What I found to be the best thing to take my mind off of my ex and the past was to look towards the future. Concentrate on all of the possibilities that are now wide open for you. Look forward and try not to focus on the past. You just have to give it time to start feeling better. There is no set time, it will happen when it happens, but believe me with a little time you will heal. I promise you that!!
  15. JoeWho
    I have never cheated, if I ever felt the need to cheat I would end the relationship. Also I have more guy friends that have never cheated than ones that have, but the ones that cheat always have and probably always will.
  16. JoeWho
    My relationship was just shy of 10 years. Have had very little contact ( a few emails) since August. I went through the whole break up with contact and sex, confusion, crying and begging and all that before we stopped talking. That was actually harder than going no contact. The roller coaster ride is unbearable, but once you know its over for good the ride is over and the climb up the mountian begins. I wont lie it sucks and there is an incredible void in my life. I miss her a lot sometimes but know there is no going back. Ten years is a long time as is seven years to be with someone and then all of a sudden you are alone and are lost for a little while. The good news is it does get better. Believe it or not. I can look back to three months ago and I know I am doing better than I ever thought I would be. I still have a long way to go but I am working hard everyday to just move on. Good Luck!
  17. JoeWho
    You take it one day at a time. Many of us have felt the way you do at some point and the feelings you have will gradually fade a little bit at a time. I know it doesnt seem like it will ever get better but it will. People have an amazing ability to heal and move on with life. Time will take care of everything, unfortunatley you just have to be patient. Try not to think about how much you miss her and stay as busy as possible. Take good care of yourself and post on here when you are having a rough time.
  18. JoeWho
    I think you should tell him how you feel and then tell him you will no longer speak to him. You cant keep going on the way you have been with him.
  19. JoeWho
    He is probably just curious about what you are up to. Dont even waste a minute thinking about if he wants you back or not. If he did he would let you know.
  20. JoeWho
    You are going to close that wound and all of us on here will help you as much as we can.
  21. JoeWho
    I know how you feel and have been there myself. You are not damaged at all, you are wiser. How many people actually stay with thier first serious relationship? A very small percentage. We all have been through relationships, good and bad. We heal and then take the plunge again and again until we find what we are looking for. Try not to think that you will never find a guy who did this or that. Truth is that almost everything you listed are things that are very common. You will have another relationship when you are ready with a guy who will do many of the things you listed, but he will also do many other things that you will love which you haven't even thought of yet.
  22. JoeWho
    FCTEX This is a great post. It proves to many of the newly broken up people that with time feelings change. You sound like you are in a great place now. I am happy for you. Thank you for taking the time to share your story!
  23. JoeWho
    He is probably feeling guilty somewhat. As much as a person who leaves someone can. I can see how it would be a tough decision for you on wether to see him or not before he leaves. I think that if seeing him is going to cause you any pain then just tell him no. He has put you through enough already.
  24. JoeWho
    Because he is a ********** JK but not really Seriously, because you deserve to be with someone who wont go start something with someone else while still being with you. Because you will never be able to trust him. Most of all there is someone far better for you out there somewhere. Can you avoid this "coworker" so you dont have to feel bad at work? On the other hand if you are strong enough to see her and not go crazy it may very well also push you to get you over things faster like you said. But that is very, very hard. You are clearly a very strong person to be dealing with this so well.
  25. JoeWho
    I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is horrible that your ex and your friend did that to you. Best thing for you to do is to completley cut both of these people out of your life for good. You dont need peope like that in your life. Many people have gone through things similar to this and yes it does get better even though you are probably thinking it wont. You are young and still have your whole life ahead of you so dont get too down on things. Just give it some time and you will start to feel better. There is really no other way but to give it time. Stay as busy as you can and do things that you enjoy doing as much as you can. Post on here if things get tough for you. You'll get through this.
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