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JoeWho

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Everything posted by JoeWho

  1. JoeWho
    Sounds like you are doing the right thing for you by not rebounding and taking the time to heal. Good for you. As for her she was either gone long before the relationship ended or she is just transferring (rebounding) her feelings to someone else. Maybee a little of both.
  2. JoeWho
    He sounds like a jerk to me. If he is willing to break up with you for something as small as that then you are better off without him. The question you asked was a normal question, not a nagging one at all and his reaction was extreme. If you really still want to be with him you should let him cool off for a while and wait for him to contact you.
  3. JoeWho
    You have to be capable of unconditional acceptance and an unselfish willingness to be there for the other person when they really need you. So true! And its not just the guys who are are lacking in this area.
  4. JoeWho
    John I know exactly how you feel. I was with my ex for ten years. Maybee the wrost part of the whole break up was giving up the dreams of the future. The future that included her and a family and all the other things that I thought were pretty much a for sure thing. Everything you are feeling now is perfectly normal and it will pass. Take it one hour at at time when you are having a bad day. Hang in there man it does get better. I felt just as bad as you do now and I thought I would never get any better, but somehow I have gotten a little better. I still have a long way to go but I know that I will make it now. You will make it too, I promise you that.
  5. JoeWho
    Yeah I agree with kellbell. Leave his stuff in a box for him and dont be there when he comes. I made the mistake of being there when my ex came to get the rest of her stuff, and it set me back. Be strong but be smart too and just go somewhere, anywhere when he is coming.
  6. JoeWho
    Hope of getting back together is a horrible thing to be thinking about all the time. Go NC and you will get off the rollercoaster and begin to heal. Relationship Coach is right, cut the strings.
  7. JoeWho
    You are on the right track now. I know your pain all too well and I will tell you it does get better. Once you stop thinking of how she once was and concentrate on who she turned out to be you will feel more angry and less sad. I was with my ex for ten years and she pretty much did the same thing as your ex. I was pretty upset when I found out everything and shocked to the core. After about a month I was thinking of how I could stop thinking of how she once was and focus on what she did and who she turned out to be. I came up with this and it has worked for me. I thought about our ten year relationship as two separate relationships. The first 8 or so good years as one relationship and then the last 2 or so years as another. I knew given what she did and how she did it, I would eventually come to really dislike her and resent her and the time we spent together, but I didnt want to feel that way about the last ten years so I spilt it up. I think of her as two different people and it works because basically she changed into such a different person the last two years from what she once was. In fact now I am starting to feel lucky that I am no longer with her. I do miss the good old days and the girl I fell in love with, but that is long gone. I dont miss the lying and cheating and the person she turned out to be. It does get better though and the pain gets a little duller with every week that passes.
  8. JoeWho
    Moopem Break ups are one of the worst things a person can go through. You are doing the right thing by starting NC. Talking to the ex is a sure way to prevent healing. It is going to be hard especially the first few weeks but it will help you to feel better after a little time passes. We have all gone through what you are going through at some point and it is 100% true that it does get better.
  9. JoeWho
    I agree with Ebsmith she already knows whats going on and it will set her back if she contacts him.
  10. JoeWho
    Snow Patrol Friscodj is 100% corrcct. I could not agree more. We have all been there. Hang in there!
  11. JoeWho
    I know exactly how you feel. Being around all couples when you are now single is pretty depressing. All my good friends are in relationships and even my not so good friends who were always single are now in relationships (go figure) so I too have not one person to go out and hit the town with. So most of the time I just either stay home with my dog or hang out with my friends who are in relationships. It does get better though. I am definatley better now than 2 months ago.
  12. JoeWho
    Yeah it sucks when you are the only single person in your group of friends! How did that happen? Oh well at least I will have a monolopy on offers to date all my friends "single coworkers, friends of friends" when I am ready.
  13. JoeWho
    Confronting him is most likley to only cause you to feel worse as he will not give you any answers you are looking for or will flat out lie to you. You already know the truth from his myspace page which you should avoid checking ever again. Bad times are unavoidable and the best thing to do when they come is to stay busy and distract yourself with activities. Dont think about what he may or may not be doing, it is not your concren anymore. You will probably never understand why he did what he did. You are going to feel better! Just remember that! Keep venting on here if it helps you too! I can see you are making progress even if you cant see it yet. You are on your way!
  14. JoeWho
    Its only been three weeks so there is nothing wrong with you. The first time My ex broke up with me I was a complete wreck for the first few weeks. It is shock and you just dont know what to do at first. If you are still talking to him then tell him you wish no contact going forward as talking to him keeps all the wounds fresh. It will get better slowly but surely. When I was feeling bad during the first break up I took a trip with some friends to Hopewell Rocks in NB and it made me feel better being out there. Thats a cool place. Sorry kind of off the topic a little bit. Hang in there though you will get over this!
  15. JoeWho
    You are a very strong person and that is something people are drawn to. I know sometime you just get so sick of dealing with things especially when it is nothing you can control. Sounds like you already know what you need to do so you are already ahead a little bit. Its tough but it will get better.
  16. JoeWho
    I am sorry that you are going through this. All the other people are correct she is just trying to hurt you by saying those things. You have to stop talking to her and then be prepared for the backlash that will follow. She has issues that she has to work out by herself. What you are feeling is 100% normal. When you hear that your ex is sleeping with someone else it is like an someone reaches right into your chest and squeezes your heart and then rips it right out throws it on the ground and then stopms on it until it is flat as a pancake. I know the feeling and I can promise you it gets better. The sooner you start NC the sooner you will start to feel better.
  17. JoeWho
    I just try not to think about it mostly unless I am missing her and then I think about it and get very negitive feeling torwards her. I already know way more than I want to. It is getting better a little bit at a time though and I am sure eventually I wont care or get angry about it at all. Cant wait for that day.
  18. JoeWho
    Sometimes when you break up a long termn relationship just to be single or because you havent been single for years and wonder what it is like, you end up regretting it. I have a few friends that broke up with thier girlfriends/boyfriends around your age for this reason and a couple still regret it to this day. I guess I am just saying that before you do anything you better take a long hard look at what your life would be like without him in it at all. No just being friends or maybe we will get back together, gone forever. Because sometimes once you break up and leave someone damage has been done and once that trust is gone sometimes it is impossible to get it back. You said he did it to you years ago so you know how it feels and how hard it must have been to trust him again. If you truly love him though you will not be able to go through with it. Please think this trough thoroughly before you do something you may both regret for years. Good luck
  19. JoeWho
    What you are feeling is what a lot of people feel when a relationship ends especially an unhealthy one. I know the feeling when they make you think that you are crazy. It is the weirdest thing but it happens no matter how smart you are. In order for you to stop feeling like he is in control of your emotions and your life you need to go NC right away. Only talk to him about things relating to your kids. Once a little time passes you will see that all of your hunches about him were true and he was lying to you all along. You will see that in fact he was the crazy one and you were right all along. Its going to be tough, but hang in there better days are ahead.
  20. JoeWho
    Hang in there it will get better with time. Having a kid involved sure does make things complicated. I guess you will have to make a decision on wether you will be in her daughter's life or not. Thats a tough decision so take your time with that one. As for her mother I would give her a deadline and then go NC (no contact) as much as possible excluding speaking about her daugther if you choose to stay in her life. I feel for you and we all know far too well how you are feeling. Be strong, stay busy and take it a day at a time.
  21. JoeWho
    Want to know how to predict the future? Look at the past! Right On NJRon
  22. JoeWho
    I feel so sorry for all that you have gone through. You must be a very strong person to make it through all that. I dont think you will burn in hell for anything you did. Just like slightlybent said you have already been through hell. Do what you feel is right for you and your kids.
  23. JoeWho
    Tara, I know its tough and it just plain sucks and it is not fair. You gave so much and didnt get back what you deserved. One day you will give all your love and time to someone who is worthy of it and they will equally give it back to you. Hang in there
  24. JoeWho
    Yeah we need some more good news! I am happy for you. Best of luck to you!
  25. JoeWho
    Verbal and Physical abuse have no place in a healthy relationship. You deserve way better than that. Dont respond at all. In time you will see that he was totally not right for you and you will thank your lucky stars that it ended. Stay strong and if you feel like you are getting weak and about to cave post on here and 100 people will tell you not to contact him or respond. LOL. At least it will reassure you in what you are doing.
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