Jump to content

Crazyaboutdogs

Platinum Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    25,671

  • Joined

  • Days Won

    82

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Crazyaboutdogs

  1. Crazyaboutdogs
    I can't imagine he was implying that it was okay to rape someone based on how they are dressed. I think he was just trying to say that the more provacatively a woman dresses, the more attention she will get from men but it won't be attention based on respect for the woman, it will be attention based on guys doing the "nudge nudge, wink wink, I would love to do her" (not that they would touch her or rape her). Men will always look at pretty women no matter how they are dressed, that is a fact of life....I think the issue here is not about wearing tank tops, it is about showing lots of cleavage and just dressing like a tart.
  2. Crazyaboutdogs
    I don't remember anybody on the board implying that. Relax.
  3. Crazyaboutdogs
    I guess it would help to know how old both of you are. 2.5 years may be long for some people and not long enough for others. The fact that you are so blasé about the relationship...saying it was so so, suggests to me that you just wanted to get married for the sake of being married rather than you wanted to get married because it was him that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe he also felt ambivalent about you and won't go into a marriage just for the sake of being married. I think you really need to be honest with yourself about why you wanted to marry him...was it for him, or was it just because you wanted to be married. The worst thing a person can do is to pressure someone to get married. You want someone to marry you because they can't picture life without you, not because of pressure.
  4. Crazyaboutdogs
    I have very large breasts and any top I wear will point to that fact. Nothing you can do about that. Skimpy is referring to walking down the street showing lots of cleavage, or wearing a short short short skirt, or shorts cut up to the butt etc. I take the subway to work and in the summer, see lots of women (mostly in the teenager or twenty-something group, but sometimes even in their thirties, forties, fifties) with so much skin showing and such tight tight clothing, they actually do look like prostitutes...and no, I am not calling them prostitutes, I am just saying, it is just the way they dress looks very much similar to how prostitutes dress.
  5. Crazyaboutdogs
    If she is having a lot of personal problems, she is not in any position to make a decision about her future....all her energy needs to be used to sort out what is going on in her life. You are both still very young and sometimes some time apart is needed, especially since you have been together since high school. Give her the space she needs. If she doesn't contact you within a month, I would just give her a call to say hi and hoping she is doing well (a very simple message, nothing about your relationship). If she does contact you, then by all means talk to her. But make sure the talk is light and nothing about your relationship. Also, if she wants to talk about whatever it is she is going through in her personal life, of course, listen and be a friend. Keep your chin up. Sometimes relationships have to go through rough times in order for both people to grow.
  6. Crazyaboutdogs
    Well, being called a prostitute is a bit over the top...However, with regards to insecurities, I would think that a person who feels the need to wear skimpy clothing is the one with the insecurity issues....if they were secure within themselves, they wouldn't feel the need to show off their bodies like that. It is kind of like the people who have to shamelessly flaunt their money so that the world can be impressed vs. the people who really do have lots of money but act very low key about it. The minute somebody has to really flaunt something, it is plain as day that they are insecure and looking for attention...no matter how much they try to convince themselves and others that they are dressing because they feel sexy...sorry, it is because they want others to notice them so that they can feel good about themselves. Face it, guys will drool when they see a woman who is scantily clad.
  7. Crazyaboutdogs
    I can relate to that...I am the reliable person, the one everyone turns to for help...problem is, many of them were not there when I needed their help and even had the nerve to tell me that I expected too much from people (although what I had expected from them is exactly what they had expected from me...and I delivered). Many of my solid friends are the ones I have known since high school. It seems that often, the friendships you build from way back are the more lasting ones. To the original poster....have you read any self help books. Sometimes those are helpful...sometimes they pinpoint the issues in your relationship, the personality type of the person you were with etc and helps you get a better understanding of things. It takes time and there is no quick fix. You just have to go through the pain...but you will come out of it...everyone does.
  8. Crazyaboutdogs
    I think a lot of people in this world need sensitivity training. It is shocking that the people who know what you went through would even pester you about having another child. The choice is up to you, not anybody else. It is not even your husband's choice. It is great and wonderful that he stuck by you, and he clearly is a wonderful person...so, if you don't want children, maybe he can understand that what you went through took a major toll on you both emotionally and physically. The fact that you went through all of this is a message about your body's limitations. Heed that message and think about your own health and well-being. As for the people who pester you, just tell them that as they are well aware, your experiences weren't simply the typical pains of childbirth and when or if you are ready, is a personal matter.
  9. Crazyaboutdogs
    That is well and good in theory and in an ideal world, but we are shaped by our experiences. Someone who has had several bad bosses may be more nervous in a new job....someone who had a very bad car accident may be very nervous driving a car again....someone who was mugged or assaulted may look over their shoulder more often etc. Our feelings are our feelings...yes, we should always strive to move on... but to just say "get over it" is oversimplifying things. There are certain triggers which will make a person react because of past experiences. I would say that knowing another guy has naked pictures of your girlfriend is a reasonable enough trigger to set someone's mind thinking, especially if they have been cheated on before. It is not over-reacting, it is a natural reaction. Sure, if he spends the entire relationship obsessing about being cheated on, that is one thing...but that was not the case in this situation. He just needs some time to get over this shock.
  10. Crazyaboutdogs
    Unless you are going to an outdoor pool where the idea is to work on your tan, look gorgeous, and when you get hot, spray water on yourself from a bottle so that your hair doesn't get messed up (yes, I have indeed seen those bubble headed women do that because they are there to catch a man, not to swim!), nobody looks. People just want to swim. Face it, how many people look stunning in a bathing cap and swimming goggles! I tend to wear something over my bathing suit which only comes off just before I go into the water. As soon as I get out of the water, I wrap a towel around me.
  11. Crazyaboutdogs
    If generally men wanted women who were needy and helpless, how come a lot of men seem to fall for the emotionally abusive, control freak women? I think it is dangerous to make sweeping generalizations about men. I have seen lots of professional men who marry equally successful women in their field. If a man is very insecure, he will either gravitate to the needy women to act as rescuer, or he will gravitate to the control freak, abusive women because he has no backbone. I have a button that reads the following: "A man of quality is not threatened by a woman for equality".
  12. Crazyaboutdogs
    That might be a little harsh. He has only been going out with her for 3 months....not enough time to be totally trusting and comfortable with someone, especially if he has been cheated on before. Given what has happened to him, his reaction is understandable even though he is wrong about his assumptions. The only thing you can do is reassure him that you did not cheat. You can't make someone trust you, that has to come from within. Maybe in time the dust will settle, right now it is a bit of a shock to the system for him so he needs time to process the information in a rational way. We are all guilty of over-reacting to situations based on our previous bad experiences. That is human nature.
  13. Crazyaboutdogs
    I hate it when women dress with their boobs hanging out and then get so offended when men stare at her boobs. I have huge boobs that I am proud of, but I really don't care for the rest of the world to have a peak...and I feel very sexy wearing normal, conservative clothing. I don't need to show lots of skin in order to feel sexy.
  14. Crazyaboutdogs
    Wow. This is bad news. You can't continue the rest of your life like this...it is already starting to destroy you. You can't be held hostage to her manipulations. You have to find your own way out of it. Where there is a will there is a way, no matter how difficult it will be to get back on your feet. If you are close with your sister, why not stay with her until you can get yourself sorted. If she knows how bad the situation is, she might be a good shoulder to lean on. But, you can't lean on her too long...you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make a better life for yourself. Don't just wallow in despair. Get pro-active. There must be groups around to help people dealing with abusive relationships (plenty of men are abused by their wives). Get yourself out there.
  15. Crazyaboutdogs
    I would like to add that nowadays people are into serial relationships so if one is broken....NEXT. And then they find a whole slew of different problems in the next one....that breaks down....NEXT. And so on. People don't want to work at relationships anymore and that is why they don't last. Even if a relationship breaks down, if two people are willing to work at it, it can be built up again. The key is self awareness and then doing something to fix it. Also, the other person has to be willing to give their ex a chance.
  16. Crazyaboutdogs
    Having greater self-awareness is one step closer to patching up a relationship. Yes, relationships can be patched up, plenty of people break up, work hard at fixing the problem and get back together with a stronger relationship. I wouldn't say that the breakdown in every relationship is the fault of both people. One person is often more at fault than the other person. If you have recognized where you went wrong, take it slow with her. Let her see the new you on a friendship level. Once she trusts that the changes are for real, she may come around and want to renew the relationship.
  17. Crazyaboutdogs
    Being of a different generation, I have been a bit confused by the term "hooking up". Does that mean having sex, making out but no sex, or just getting together with no physical contact (somehow I don't think it is option #3!).
  18. Crazyaboutdogs
    That's just like saying if one person wants children and the other doesn't, the one who doesn't want children should just suck it up and have it in order to respect the other person who wants children. OR, if one person wants a 3 some and other doesn't, then the other person should respect the wishes of the one who wants the threesome and just do it. Always amazes me that people get so bent out of shape when a person talks about valuing their viriginity. If you didn't that's fine for you, but don't trash someone who places a greater value on their virginity. I believe the poster is referring to the fact that she has strong Christian values in which virginity is important....it is in no way being judgemental. Orthodox Jews have that belief as well as do religious Muslims and I am sure other religions. Where in the world does it say that independent automatically means my way or the high way. Independent means being able to think for oneself, not being dependent on someone else for happiness, being happy and content doing their own thing. It has nothing to do with stubborness. Geez! It has nothing to do with having hangups about sex. You are really taking this whole thread out of context and getting way too defensive and rather insulting. Excuse me!!! Well, how many relationships start off where the people are at it like rabbits and then as soon as they get married...it is no longer very frequent. Just because a person abstains from sex until they meet the right one, doesn't mean that they are frigid. They could end up being quite adventurous once they are with someone they are comfortable with.
  19. Crazyaboutdogs
    I think the reason why you are getting a lot of flak is because of your attitude towards this guy. It is revolting when a man treats a woman like the dumb blonde who should keep her mouth shut and just spread her legs. That is in essense how you are treating this guy. It sounds to me that your hard life has made you bitter and you are almost taking out your anger, in a subtle way, on this guy. It is the way you talk about him, so disrespectfully, discounting his life and his interests that I find so appalling. Great, you have been having sex since you were 14...having sex doesn't make you mature...it is your outlook on life and people that does. I am not sure if you had been raped, sexually abused or neglected by parents when you were younger, but your attitude seems to have the hallmarks of one who has. Instead of looking to get laid as a quick fix to your heartache, perhaps some self-help books and counselling might be more helpful. I don't mean to flame you, just reading between the lines there is more to this story than just someone who is horny.
  20. Crazyaboutdogs
    Is this post for real???? Sorry, but from what you have written, and your attitude it sounds to me that you are not behaving in a very mature manner. I feel sorry for this guy because you seem to be turning him into a big joke.
  21. Crazyaboutdogs
    He wants what he always wanted....wife around for image....mistress around for excitement. I imagine he will soon be saying goodbye to wife #3 and if you marry him, be prepared for him to find another mistress while married to you. I wonder if wife #3 had been his mistress while he was with wife #2. I would strongly suggest you read books on self-esteem and ask yourself why you are involved with 1) a married man 2) a man who has had multiple failed marriages due to his infidelity. If you feel so badly for his wife, maybe it is time you took yourself out of the equation and take a long hard look at yourself. Fix yourself first and then find a man who is unattached.
  22. Crazyaboutdogs
    Some rebounds can last for a long time. Some people may even marry their rebounds. But, at a certain point in time, the feelings eventually come out and the truth about the relationship is revealed to both people.
  23. Crazyaboutdogs
    I am not so sure it is about putting someone on a pedestal. I think it is about giving our hearts to someone and having them trample it like it is nothing to them. It is the pain of being betrayed by someone we cared about. I understand where you are coming from. I feel the same way. I was betrayed by someone in August. He seemed to realize how badly he hurt me and came around again, but once he had me again, he figured all was right with the world and stopped trying. I told him off not quite 2 weeks ago. It hurts so badly. I am not sure if you had lots of time off over the holidays, but that certainly doesn't help matters. More time to think. When do you go back to work? That might help take the edge off. I don't think there is any set time frame for getting over the fact that someone has hurt you badly. Just hang in there. You will have good days and bad days.
  24. Crazyaboutdogs
    Some fantasies are better left as fantasies. Just because you see something in a porno flick, doesn't mean you have to do it. You are clearly not comfortable with this so don't do it. If you are insecure now, that insecurity will be magnified after the fact. You can make all the rules you want beforehand, but when things actually happen, rules may just go out the window and you will end up feeling devastated. It is all fine to please your partner, but not at the expense of your own self-esteem. If he cares about you he should understand that and drop the matter.
  25. Crazyaboutdogs
    You broke up with him and then talked about how you are happy. Maybe this new person is a rebound for him and he is not really happy. Or maybe because of his pain and the fact that you broke up with him but now seem to have regrets, he is rubbing it in your face. The only thing you can do is be blunt with him...no cover ups etc, just tell him that you would like to work things out with him and try again, but if he doesn't want to and wants to see where things are going to go with the new woman, then you will back out of his life (no contact).
×
×
  • Create New...