Thomas from Norway
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She loves me, yea yea yea!
Thomas from Norway replied to Thomas from Norway's topic in Getting Back Together
Hi, heloladies21. I'm not sure I appreciate your insight. Have you even read my previous posts? Thomas. -
She loves me, yea yea yea!
Thomas from Norway replied to Thomas from Norway's topic in Getting Back Together
Hi, Robowarrior. I couldn't agree more. We were miserable, but not because we didn't love eachother. Most of the misery was my doing - I'm sure I can change (cliché ! Read my previous posts. Thomas. -
Well, maybee I'm taking it a bit far there, but I just want to share a glimmer of hope with you! If you take a look at my previous threads, you'll se that I've been throug some dark waters indeed, both inside and outside my mind so to speak. Virtually everybody around me told me that I should try to forget my ex as quickly a possible - I told them no. After I had razed everything good between me and my girlfriend, she broke up with me, and even after that, I managed to destroy any grounds of a friendship. About a month later, it dawned on me that I had made a terrible mistake, not only in "letting her go", but also in mistreating someone (I really love) so badly. I WANTED HER BACK, but I also wanted her to know that I was very sorry for mistreating her. Patience led the way, and through giving her a long letter of apology and also time for her to digest my revolutionary new words, I hope that I've managed to establish a friendly tone again. Last time we spoke (on msn), her replies were short, and she told me she needed some NC for a while. I gave her that, even though it really hurt. Today, we had a longer conversation: We joked and updated eachother on eachother's lives. She has a remote control that's mine, and when I asked if she wanted to stop by my new appartment and return it, she said she thought it a bit too soon, but that she'd give it som thought. Sigh, I can see the steps growing in distance for each encounter, and can't help feeling good about it. But I also realize that a friendship may be all she wants - I'm not sure that's something for me. Any thoughts? Thomas.
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Hi, martial. I have the same thoughts. My ex told me that she was planning to stay single for a good while, but I couldn't seem to get thoughts of her dating or flirting (+ more intimate things) out of my head! You're not alone on that one, but I've come to realize that such thoughts are COMPLETELY useless and destructive if you need to stay focused and not call her 4 a.m. in the morning desperate for some peace of mind. Chase those thoughts away! She might be doing something with another guy, but that's out of your control. Go out with some buddies and live a little too: Flirt with the girls and let go for a while. Did this help? Hope you feel better. Thomas.
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The nights are the hardest The mornings too Afternoons lonely While evenings are blue Thomas.
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Got her talking & lost her again... Help
Thomas from Norway replied to onlineguy's topic in Getting Back Together
Hi, onlineguy. Who broke up? Can you give me some brief details around the break-up (why break up, any hurtful fights/ quarrels)? Thomas. -
Hi, martial. First day of NC? Hmm... I've been in NC for a while longer. It gets better - trust me! I think you need to build up to a conversation where you both apologize for all the hurt, and start looking for practical and realistic solutions to your biggest problems. But take it slow! Give her time! Thomas.
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Hi, goodwaves. I really think you should take it slow. No matter how much it hurts, you should try to take things slowly like I adviced today, 01:40 PM. Thomas.
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Hi, goodwaves! Well, if you really want to work things out, you HAVE to take it very slow. No ultimatums or anything of that sort! The text thing is ok, I guess, but I'm not sure about the meeting face to face (My ex is very hurt and sensitive to me right now, so I'll have to give her some months.). Just start of by telling her how you feel and that you want to work things out properly (say this only once - properly and detailed - and then let it be until she wants to talk about it). Then gradually do your best to restore her trust... The face to face scenario should be postponed until you KNOW that she's ready. Any help? Thomas.
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Hi, martial. Man, it feels like we're in this together! I have almost the excact same situation with my ex (except we've only been together for a year and a half). She's told me that she doesn't have feelings for me any more, but at the same time she says that she loves me in the non-amorous way. Just like you, I've buried her under tons of accusations and hard words - all of them spurred by my insecurity and fear - and I realize I don't mean any of them. I'm giving this one more go! I'll try to mend as much as possible, contact her via text or mail, and then go on to meeting her face to face. I know I can't be just a friend for my part, so somewhere along the way, we'll encounter the unavoidable crossroads. The ball will chiefly be in her court, of course, so I'll need to stay strong. Maybe we could support eachother? Thomas.
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Hi, everybody! Thanks for the instant replies! Well, I guess this is a new dawn to me: I'm finally talking with my ex again. But there is a long an winding road ahead (love the Beatles)... The ball is in her court for at least a week, I guess. You guys are great! Thomas.
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To whom it may concern. My ex just received a letter where I explain how sorry I am for all the troubles I have caused (that lead to the break-up). Prior, she didn't really want to keep in touch in fear of being critizised or yelled at. The last week, I've been trying to mend all this hostility, and tonight I ran into her at MSN. She thanked me for the letter and said that she believed my words, but she seemed to be in a hurry and didn't have much time to speak. Is this a bad sign? How do I proceed? I really want her back, and I'm willing to give it time too. Please advice! Thomas.
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Can her feelings return?
Thomas from Norway replied to Thomas from Norway's topic in Getting Back Together
Dear lifestream. That article was fantastic! I'm really grateful, and I am also impressed with the dedication of the people at eNotAlone. I'm new to this forum (I'm new to forums on the whole), so this is just beautiful! Thomas. -
Hi, yourfaceinmanila! I want both. Who doesn't (if they want him/ her back)? But I really value your advice, and I REALLY admire your perseverance - going through all that infidelity is hardcore. Thomas.
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Hi, yourfaceinmanila! Great post! Could I ask you for some advice? I've been in NC with my ex for about two months (not total NC), and I want to get her back, but because of many quarrels and accusations, she's afraid to contact me: I've basically screwed things up pretty good! What's your stand on apologizing for these things? Should I patch things up, get her comfortable again and then go into NC? Would REALLY appreciate some advice! Thomas.