Jump to content

cleverme123

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    389

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by cleverme123

  1. cleverme123
    Probably not what you want to hear but he was never over his first love. He jumped into a relationship that kinda picked up where he left off. The reasons he is having doubts is because of what happened but also because he is questioning his true feelings for you. I would tell him striaght up you are willing to move but if you don't have a commitment from him that is solid than there is not a point in you moving. He is having doubts and you need to address that with him.
  2. cleverme123
    I will say this again. Any one online can be anyone they want, they can change in person and could be completely different. You better be careful. If your in a four year relationship you need to evaluate things and if it isn't want you want have the courage to break it off before you decide to cheat and meet this other guy. I personally don't think it's a good idea.
  3. cleverme123
    I know because I struggled with it for years and also always denied medications and denied having a problem until I train wrecked my life. Basically everything that could go wrong did. Job hopping, wreckless choices, sleeping too much, severe mood swings. Much better now, it's one of those things that eventually bites you when left untreated. I am much better now!
  4. cleverme123
    Actually some of the things you describe sound like manic depression. Some extreme highs and lows, flipping out sporatically over things. Seeking you out, going from nice to nasty. She almost certainly has some serious issues ones that you can 't fix she needs professional help.
  5. cleverme123
    I would ask why the time frame for kids??? Maybe he needs some not trying to be funny (sex education) If he isn't willing to listen the only thing you can really do is to let things cool off and wait to see if he is willing to calm down and take the time restraints off of things and quit pressuring you. I would feel suffocated, and I would tell him that you ended it because he pushed too far, too fast and was unwilling to listen to you. I would be pretty angry too if he pushed me away when trying to start something , I would feel there was a reason for it. I am still going with the give it some time and space and see if things change. The last thing you want to do is jump into something with someone else quickly and find yourself in a disaster again.
  6. cleverme123
    People on the internet can be any one, and tell you any thing. Just because they say they want a relationship doesn't mean they really do!
  7. cleverme123
    I am one of those people that suffer from being in a bad relationship syndrome... My guess is that she probably thought someone else had something to offer her that you didn't. Later down the road she will either see what a terrible mistake she has made, or she will become happy. Why I mentioned bad relationship syndrome.... I had a husband he gave me everything, treated me great, we had kids together, I felt totally absolutely no love there for him. It just kind of hit me one day, I took him for granted, there was nothing he could have said or done that would have made it any different. He was devastated when I said it's over file for divorce. I now am remarried, looking back regretting what a mistake I might have made. What seemed like such a great thing really may not be at all....but what is done is done and it can't be fixed. Where am I going with this....your wife may seem something that is interesting and new, didn't want to hurt you by cheating, or has already cheated and feels guilty. Or neither one may be the case she just thinks the grass is greener on the other side. What ever it is, it's an illusion that you will not be able to make her see, she will have to find out on her own. Usually when that happens it's too late though. My best advice is to try to move on, be civil to her even if you find something awful has gone on. Be respectful and don't talk to your kids badly about her. Make the situation as best you can, let it go and move on. Good luck!
  8. cleverme123
    First off, you have been with someone for 5 years so reality is that now you aren't with him your bound to feel lonely. So next ask yourself, what is it that is bugging you, do you really feel suffocated in marriage and kids and buying a house? OR is it a comfortable excuse you are making in order to justify thinking about being with this other guy? Temptation is working on you, you never see your relationship clearly while being with someone else. you said having sex with your ex boyfriend was appalling, why? You really need to sit and think about what it is going on maybe you are overwhelmed at the moment. Getting married buying a house and having kids is a huge step, maybe what you need is to slow down a bit. Tell the guy that. Try couple counseling, tell him what the things are that bug you about him and why your not willing to commit to marriage and all yet. Give it some time to simmer down. If in the end you try everything to rekindle those feelings and you still can't then move on. But it sounds as you are overwhelmed at the moment and there is a comfortable option waiting. I suggest you consider the relationship you were in, before if not already, it's too late. TALK to HIM.
  9. cleverme123
    Okay, first she is married. Red flag here, not available for any feelings with any one else without a great deal of hurt and financial pain!!! Don't do it, you could screw up her life, your life and ultimately someone elses life. How do I know, my husband is friends with an ex girlfriend who calls him excessively and sees him all the time, and it hurts real bad. But it don't stop. Take the advice, Let it alone! Hugs as friends is different from I want to be with you hugs. Back off, save the feelings for someone who is available to be with you.
  10. cleverme123
    Where as she doesn't have things exactly in order, it is not your place to tell her hey give your kid up because your situation isn't right. Ideally you should be married have kids an excellant paying job, etc. etc. but reality is some times life throws you curves and you either duck and dodge your entire life or you accept you screw up and roll with the punches. There are lots of ways she could make her situation better and if you are truly her friend you should be willing to help her get started. First talk to her about going to parenting classes. Social services offers programs for young, unwed mothers that can help them finish school, get a job and get into their own housing. That would be a good place to start. A job would take care of the bounced check problems as she can slowly start to pay them down. She is in a bad situation no doubt and I am sure she knows it. The last thing she needs is someone else cutting her down, criticizes telling her to get an abortion, or something else. I am sure she knows, I am sure she has been told. Try to support her as best you can, and try to get her back on the right track. If the shoe was on the other foot would you want someone to help you? Or would it be easy for you to give your child up or have an abortion?
  11. cleverme123
    Maybe you have some fear about getting pregnant again, and not be able to have bonding time with son. You could also be going through post partum depression, which can occur up to a year after birth. Or guilt like you weren't able to get close to your first son like your second. There are a lot of reasons that could be making you feel this way. Tell your husband then maybe try therapy.
  12. cleverme123
    I am not a pilot, that flies every day but I too had the dream of wanting to fly since about 5. My dad flew in the air force so I had considered that for a while. Well, I decided not to go that route but did take flying lessons. They can be rather expensive, you have to take a lot of instructional time, both in the class room and with an instructor. then you have to do a solo test. Which made me nervous as anything. It was worth it though, I got licensed and where I don't have my own plain or fly regularm I still have it which was an accomplishment on it's own. Call a local air school, see what they offer, thats the first step.
  13. cleverme123
    Take a home pregnancy test, yes you could be pregnant.
  14. cleverme123
    Boy can I get this one straight! You having someone that someone else wants and they keep trying to convince that person to leave you, it goes on for a long time. Seeing someone talking to someone you have and getting down right angry without cause because it seems like their flirting.
  15. cleverme123
    I guess partly I make excuses I keep telling myself its me with the problems if I could just be better or help him more or do more or take care of this or that better it would change. You are absolutely right, he does make me feel invisible. There are times that things are good, mainly if and when he is here, but 95% of the time he isn't here, I am like some hidden secret. He is fabulous on baseball nights, with other peoples kids and his son. He even plays with the baby, he accepts my daughter as his own. Its other times when I see him emotionally abusive and feel empty and know he did it and keeps doing it. I know a lot about his ex's I have spoke to them a great deal. The first one didn't leave him for anything he did she was in love with a woman go figure. Even after they broke up he still slept with her and theyare buddies if thats what you call it now. I dont like him talking to her, etc. cause it seems like he's up to something. I find myself staying because some times it is easier to deal with abuserers for me than it is to deal with nice guys. I have only been in one non abusive relationship, and I ruined it! I really want to believe the lies, the stories and they are believable but I guess its because I dont want to see the truth that I am being played.
  16. cleverme123
    I have been on here a while. I have had many issues with my husband which I think is leading me to a mental breakdown. I can no longer deal with things rationally. He has been unfaithful to anyone he's every been with. He looks at a whole lot of porn, which doesn't really bother me. He keeps contacting his ex, got her a job at his part time thing. So here is what I feel... I feel lost, like I am going crazy, I have seen things that point that he is cheating on me, he denies it tells me to shut up about it and be with him or just leave. There are kids involved. I am trying to save my marriage. While I was in labor he called his ex when he went outside to smoke. ONe morning I stayed overnight with my son in the NICU he was suppose to drop the kids at school then come over. And an hour later showed up saying that he forgot to change a load of clothes over. I am at a stand still, torn between his lies (which he denies he lied) of course I didn't tell him I knew because I had proof. I want to save my family, I told him I wanted to go to a counselor and he flat out told me that he needs one to but he could just get drunk and drown his problems. It feels like he is making fun of me and then at his part time job where the ex is it feels like their all laughing at me for being stupid to the games. His ex is a nightmare and half psycho. I want to disappear, I need help, I cry all the time when he isn't here, I can't talk to him he just gets angry and avoids talking to me about anything to do with him and when he does talk about it he smoothes it over like nothing is wrong. He refuses counseling saying we don't have the money, which some times we are very low, but I have ask to get a job and he keeps saying no take care of the kids. There are three right now that I have all the time. I see him maybe an hour or so at night before we go to bed. I can't stand it any more. I don't know what to do, I feel lost, I have no family and no friends any more cause their tired of hearing me complain about it. I really need help, but it wont do any good if he continues to lie. After two marriages why doesn't he want to save this? Maybe I am not important to him if I open my mouth and ask questions I guess I am suppose to just pretend I am not feeling anything. I am going to break really soon and I don't know what to do.
  17. cleverme123
    What is the reason your crying is there some reason why. Like your thinking about something.
  18. cleverme123
    I am the married version of your story. My husband with every ex he has been with continues to go back to them when he is in a new relationship call it security there is always one on the wing. Well any way, he tried to keep me out of his ex's life which worked with one because she was a monster but didn't with the other 2. First wife said having kids with him was a good excuse to get him to come over and play. Second wife found out about first wife and left him. I married him and found out about first two cause I got tired of him talking trash about them so I called them both to clear the air!!! Well let me tell you the next few months I found out a great deal about my husbands "secrets" The point being if he is doing this now you have two choices you either learn to live with the lies and convince yourself nothing is going on, or you end it. I stayed and pretended to get amnesia. But then again I have no self esteem either. Once a cheat always a cheat! And he's only sorry because he got caught! Talk to his ex when he isn't around, it will make you feel better, and you find out the details of their breakup.
  19. cleverme123
    I met and married someone I met online. I am not a basketcase but he was a different person once he got me. He now is controlling, obsessed with sex and women and who knows what else, online dating can be a good thing but it can be very very bad.
  20. cleverme123
    Its cheating if nothing more than emotionally. It will undoubtlly get worse, my hubby is an addict he use to have cyber sex with his ex wife!!! Maybe still does, but regardless if he becomes an addict he will start going further.
  21. cleverme123
    There are 101 things I've said!! As he makes moves I've said could get messy if you continue. Used awful term, on the rag Told hubby he may need a towel to clean up the mess. UHHH its that time of the month works good. when all else fails say you dont want to play the hunt for red october! get creative
  22. cleverme123
    IF you dont say no to her than you are putting yourself in a good position for an --- beating. You fill in the blanks. Don't paly with someone thats married, it just gets ugly and complicated and othing good comes from it!
  23. cleverme123
    It is possible since your mid way through cycle. I personally think it takes more than once to get pregnant but its your body to gamble with. To be safe if you dont want a child I would say take the pill
  24. cleverme123
    His family needs to take him for a psychiatric evaluation. He could have something severe like multiple personalities. Which can easily explain why he can be calm to police, because they are authoritive figures. He needs help and you can bet if he is starting with those things the physical violence will most likely follow.
  25. cleverme123
    I think therapy would be a gret idea, I don't feel you should let him go because your married and he obviously loves you. Unless he has given you a reason to believe that he is unfaithful, I don't think you should let him go, you can work through it. Marriage is never easy, but if your willing to try to make it better than you should get him involved.
×
×
  • Create New...