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cleverme123

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  1. cleverme123
    I hid two pregnancies from my family cause I feared their reaction. Although I am 26 my mom had issues with me being pregnant and 21 and my last child 3 months ago. I was lucky and showed very little with either. I am slightly overweight so it was not impossible to convince people I gained. Any how....I had my daughter by myself and had no support the father dropped off after 3 months of pregnancy. I wouldn't have had support from my parents either. It was hard. they were shocked to learn that I had a baby and were devastated cause I didn't tell them and ask them to accept her. That wasn't the issue. The no support and the deception will eat you alive. My last one, parents didn't approve of my husband who I married without telling them and they didn't approve of me being pregnant with baby #3. I hid it again but had a supportive husband. IF she is keeping the baby its better to deliver the shock now then to wait, it will be worse after the baby comes along. And consequently, what is she planning on doing to make sure the baby is cared for while she is in college?
  2. cleverme123
    Dates can be wrong and the best thing to do is once the baby is born get a DNA test, that way you are sure before anything gets out of hand.
  3. cleverme123
    He has some feelings for you but none the less they aren't strong enough for him to break up his other relationship. I would have to say if he can't pick between one or the other to stay faithful too, he isn't worth pursuing, no matter what the connection.
  4. cleverme123
    I think it's wrong to hav eyour friend have moved in also. If he is also married then there are two sets of people here who are going to be hurt. Ya know, you are married and even if your feelings for this other guy were bursting at the seems, you should have said no. You can not love someone when someone else is involved, your feelings towards your husband will only be magnified. You obviously are set in your ways. At very least get a divorce and don't cheat on your husband to be with this other guy. By the way have you thought about what will happen if this is only fickle fascination and that down the line you two don't work out??? What if he does the same thing your doing to your husband, to you?
  5. cleverme123
    Could also be a medical reason for the tantrums also, is she bipolar, depressed, high anxiety????
  6. cleverme123
    Thanks Dn and Bella for your post. I am a bit insecure about our relationship and he is a very flirty person and she a very the world revolves around her kinda person. It makes it hard. I fear the very worst about situations, and I guess that is why I am not only afraid but in a total state of anger. Guess it's time to just suck it up...for now any way.
  7. cleverme123
    there are two of them, and it has nothing to do with him seeing them, he hasn't, called wrote or spoke to them in two years...He even said he wants nothing to do with them any more cause their spoiled brats. He wants to see their mother. What will happen is I will get stuck with the kids why him and her flirt and carry on. How do I know? I already dealt with this issue with his son.
  8. cleverme123
    She does it for the attention. Huge red flag here is that she knows what works and is playing it well. This is not the first time she has done this. She has also probably threatened to harm herself threw, herself at your feet, etc. It's an ugly cycle. IT's most defiantly not healthy and will get worse. I did this to my husband and found out though, he only wanted me to get that way so he felt like he had the control.
  9. cleverme123
    Mine simply states, he sees no reason, they will just die and I don't need presents. But there are reasons why.
  10. cleverme123
    Well it's going to happen, two years now I have lived here knowing there were two other kids in Fl that were his. There have been plenty of times she said she is coming and isn't. This time she is defiantly coming. I don't want to see her, I don't want to see them. I know my husband does because he ain't seen them in two years, but I feel more like he wants to see her because he ain't seen her in two years. The plans are all made and him and her decided what everyone was doing. I hate it all, I don't want to be around them. Her kids are spoiled rotten, I am only 11 years older than their oldest kid and I feel akquard and weird. I told him and all he could say is he don't want me around him or them when they come. Am I wrong? I recently also got diagnosed with depression so that isn't helping things either. She plans to just dump them off at his sons baseball game, and my daughter has a dance recital so he isn't going naturally because of baseball and them, then afterwards wants everyone to do something together. I know I am going to be left out he does it all the time, it's like his friends, his daughters, his ex, his life. I really don't think I can emotionally handle it. I am trying to also get right in my head and leave this relationship, it's just no good for me. He verbally bashed me for being childish and not wanting his kids to be here. I needed to vent so here it is. I don't want them in my life! Help please!
  11. cleverme123
    Just to clear it up I had no family support, my first childs father tried to kill me, and I wound up on the street and in a battered womens shelter facing abortion option. Let me tell you that I got up decided maybe my child was a blessing I wasn't ready and her father was a psycho and sure it wasn't right for me, no job, no money, no support. But it made me want to work harder, go back to school, and get up. I made a mistake, but I chose to engage in sex which produced a child and for that reason I decided not to abort. Yes I am also prolife and I swore I would never, but I had a chance and didn't and I look at my daughter who is beautiful and she saved my life. I got my act together to raise her. If you aren't willing to give up your life and your freedom then no you should not have a child. It is time, work and money. But there is the emotional toll of abortion. I had to have an abortion later on due to medical risk, and every day it eats me alive, I feel guilty. I am telling you simply examine both sides, even after the pregnancy is ended, you will think about it. When you get pregnant again if ever, you will be reminded of what you once carried but is no more. You will always think what if.
  12. cleverme123
    It happened for a reason, your life doesn't end being pregnant, I am 26 with three kids. I wasn't ready for my first, second or third. But I never thought twice and although my family didn't support me in anything I still am raising 3 kids practically by myself. My husband is supportive, I do many things and go to college. I take my baby who is three months with me practically every where. I feel proud to have my kids. Look, you have PCOS!!! If you terminate this pregnancy you may not have another chance. My doctor told me I would never have kids. Don't do it. Pain is bearable, it disappears after you deliver. Epidurals, drugs of all sorts totally minimize everything. There is always 5000 excuses why not to have a child if you don't want one or your nervous, but there are lots of positive things as well.
  13. cleverme123
    Taking two the day after is what your suppose to do, highly unlikely chance of being pregnant, yes you can spot brown from missing and it will stop shortly, you would not have pregnancy symptoms so quickly.
  14. cleverme123
    None of these things are your fault. You didn't cause any one to die and it isn't your fault your dad was unfaithful and screwed around and got someone else pregnant. You didn't force him to get a divorce, you didn't tell him to do it. With that being said.... Where do you go from here. You probably are young and have many things ahead, if your fathers behavior upsets you so bad then separate yourself. No one said you have to have a relationship with the many kids he produced out of infidelity, quite frankly I don't think I would pursue a relationship. There is no law that says you have to. What your father did to drag your grandmother into the divorce before she died was plain wrong, but that was his choice not yours. You can resent him for making the comment about burning the house, you can resent he drug her into things, you can resent the affairs and siblings. But where does that leave you???? Angry, bitter, feeling hopeless because of what someone else did to you? How is that any better. Let by gones be by gones and let it go, anger will hunt you down and destroy your life, if you hate what he did then don't do it in your life, learn from it! As far as rectal bleeding there could be many things, I have had this to, and it was not cancer although there were polyps, so don't panic until you know for sure. Hope that helps.
  15. cleverme123
    That is totally different circumstances. If your mother called you 3 times a day to ask how you were doing, she balanced your husband and yours check book. And at any moment came up with a sportatic illness so she could see her grand kids, would you still feel the same? I never stopped seeing my parents but for my ex and I we would be doing something she would call, he would drop everything and run right over there, yes it was annoying and ridiculous. I would see my parents on holidays and maybe call every couple days but not let them dictate my life.
  16. cleverme123
    .I had this urge at 18 but waited until I was 21 before having my first. I had my second at 23 and my third and 26. Did the marriage thing first though. I think it is very normal and some women it goes off earlier than others. Wait until your ready.
  17. cleverme123
    I had one of these....I live this life now...And quite frankly pack his stuff up and let him walk. He has nothing to offer you your life will become miserable chasing him down and always wondering what he is doing. A man who puts his family first over his wife never really has left his family. He never will. My first husband was like that up his parents behinds. And one day he couldn't handle having kids and while I was at work he packed up and left me. Surprise! He moved back in with his mother. He didn't want my daughter but wanted the boy. We tried counseling and everything under the sun but let me be the first to tell you someone who is not willing to tell the truth and admit what the real issues are will not make it in counseling. Sounds like your man already has shut down the idea of making it work and I don't believe in that first time father drama. If he willing slept with you knowing you were not on birth control and there was a possibility you would get pregnant and neglected it then he should be man enough to deal with the issue. As hard as it may seem go on with your life, I raised my daughter single for 5 years. It ain't easy but it's better than being with someone who treats you like garbage and has a list of put downs and confuses you to the point you don't know if he's cheating. That is where I am now and I am slowly unwinding the situation and I just had my third child. What good does it do to sit and think constantly if your relationship will make or not when he has made it clear he ain't even trying??? Let him walk and when he sees what he is missing maybe he'll come back and maybe he won't but by that time you will get the chance to see how it really is and decide if you even want him back. good luck.
  18. cleverme123
    Maybe something happened to her at one point and time recently, and that is why. Talk to her.
  19. cleverme123
    When you get involved in a serious relationship young almost all the time it will end. As you get older things change and you change and your priorities change. You go through many a changes with each stage. Perhaps she didn't want to be tied down any longer and she felt being with you she missed on the opportunity to date other people, and see what else is out there. I won't totally throw out the option maybe she will come back, if it was meant to be it will, even if you can't be together right now.
  20. cleverme123
    embarrassed to talk to you in front of his friends, immature, idiot, game player, has no intention of getting serious with you and even if he did is he even worth it???? How far do you think the relationship would go?
  21. cleverme123
    What guy doesn't want to have a friends with benefits until something better comes along. Guys will use you for that if you had a relationship and agreed on "rules" then you broke them and continued to sleep with him, you are opening the whole thing up for you to get hurt. As soon as he finds someone he wants to be in a relationship with you can bet your gonna get dropped like a hot cake, stop it now before your feelings get hurt!
  22. cleverme123
    Your 21, your legal, it's your body and your decision. Your parents may get mad, but as I said you are an adult.
  23. cleverme123
    It seems as though she is sharing your pain with her husband and your similarities make it easy to fall for her. You feel accepted and understood, perfectly normal reasons for falling for someone.
  24. cleverme123
    Look people! Some of can't change the fact that we have large breast, No I am not skinny like a rail nor ridiculously fat and to the poster that said you can't be athletic. I am a DD and play tennis, run, and swim, so big breast on women that are not tooth picks still can be active and ok, you just have to learn how to control them if you will If someone skinny wants them be my guest if you can stand the backaches, didn't ask for them, just got them!
  25. cleverme123
    First off you can not make a decent relationship getting any one else involved. Okay so your relationship with your husband sucksand your thinking of women. Let me say this much. Bipolar is something that needs treatment and untreated will destroy your life. Bipolar will make him think the pot is fixing him. It only screws with his head more. With that being said, my thoughts.... Go on a seperation, give him time to get serious. you guys will be broke off and on hold. It gives you opportunity to explore this new found facination with women. And allows you to decide if anything in your marriage is worth saving. It also allows you time to see if this woman thing is for you. Either wa;y you don't need to drag your kids through this, and the husband being on drugs doesn't help things.
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