Jump to content

cleverme123

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    389

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by cleverme123

  1. cleverme123
    Good dads don't beat up their child's mother in front of them. A child that sees this repetatively will learn to do the same. If he is hooked on drugs you will never know how he really treats you. Verbal abuse escalates with drugs use and so does physical violence. You need to be in a safe house or transition house and there are ones where he can not find you. Let me just be the first to cut the crap and tell you what happens in these situations. Not only does it escalate but there will come a time it gets worse. For me the violence was daily we got arrested daily, I was in the hospital every other day. I got pregnant and he abandon me and me daughter after punching me in the stomach I lost the other baby I was carrying. I went through 2 years of my daughter being a complete nightmare she mimic ed his behavior. Very violent. My situation ended not because the drug use not because he beat me, those were things I let him do. But he tried to kill us both. I retaliated and wound up stabbing him excessively within inches of his life. I got a break charges were filed but due to battered womens syndrome I got probation, no jail time. I went to a safe house and started over. You go now or you will not be able to recover from what he does next. Take my warning I have been there and I made it. I went from nothing to having everything with a child. It is possible to make it without him. Hopefully you dont wait til its too late.
  2. cleverme123
    irst off you shouldn't rush things you need to get to know him and make sure there are no skeletons in his closet. Remember people online can be who they want when they want. You don't know any one there either so be very careful that you aren't getting into something you don't want. Don't pressure don;t push just let it ride out and see what happens.
  3. cleverme123
    I am right there with you, it's always hard to give up someone manipulative because of the fact that you get use to it, it becomes second nature to make excuses and lie for them and even cover up, you know what to expect so it makes it less scary.
  4. cleverme123
    So here goes, yes it can work but in the process you can meet some pretty off the wall people. You have ones in it just for sex, ones that want to get serious way to soon and your average amount of psychos and stalkers. just seriously be careful. On the up note I met my husband on one and we have been together 2 years now and we got married and just had a son together. Its all about who you meet and how seriously you take it.
  5. cleverme123
    Age not a problem, if you are going to engage in a relationship with someone that has a kid you better make sure you are ready to take responsibility for that kid. If things get serious or at last minute something happens figure that if he has to go get his kid he will. Yes it does work out, there can be issues, I married a man 11 years older than me who had 3 kids from 2 previous marriages. The oldest two were not a huge ordeal they lived away, he had one living with him. I also had two from my previous marriage. When kids are involved oyu have another parent, you have different situations and you can be limited to what you can and can't do. If you want it to work it can, but since you won't know how the kid was raised be prepared for him/her to act up around you and maybe have issues with the ex. Just forewarning you, but yes it can work. Basically decide if your ready to be a parent or not, and if not then it may not be the relationship for you.
  6. cleverme123
    "normal people" don't fall in love after only a week. He is using manipulation tactics to scare her into being in a relationship with him. I never knew love before you...Grabs her hands when she wants him to go. Draws out the good bye. Using crying as a control measure to see how far he has to go before she sees he is true. When she was ready for him to leave he kept talking. He was doing all this to see where he stood with her. And only left with confirmation that she would be back. It's a classic! Very difficult to understand if you have never had one of these relationships, but I am telling you bail now, because it will get worse.
  7. cleverme123
    Do it doggy style, allows good penetration to all the right places.
  8. cleverme123
    I will tell you to use extreme caution. Only because I have been in this situation before and most certainly he is abusive. Yes all the things your seeing now are sweet and caring he has the best of intentions, but someone really rushing and pushing into marriage and what not and when you ask him to back down he is crushed....defiant issues!!!!! Use extreme caution or oyu will find yourself in a relationship full of guilt trips. Like you were sick and I did such and such for you, and now you want to leave like it was nothing.... Just an example but I am sure you get the point. You have to tell him point blank to slow down or he will lose you and watch and see what happens, I would be very very very suspiscious of him and his intentions.
  9. cleverme123
    Well if it wasn't expected she may be in a bit of shock. Her body is going through unimaginable changes. I stated before I would never ever ever have kids then I got pregnant. I didn't want nothing to do with anyone or anything for a while. Then came around, after I had my daughter I said oh I will never have sex again, and I will never have another. got married had another. Said it all over again, and pregnant with the 3rd and final. Pregnant women say a lot of weird things, if she don't want to get pregnant again after she has the baby tell her to get her tubes tied. If she is serious then she'll do it, if not you know it's been well a notice me act. I would say just back off of her, when she sees you aren't trying to push things, she'll come around. Only one other possibility that she would totally act that way and that would be if you were supporting her and she had a secret like she had cheated and got pregnant. She should feel lucky you didn't walk out on her but I would say she'll come around.
  10. cleverme123
    Everything happens for a reason. Ever think there may be one for no show and for the car not starting.
  11. cleverme123
    If it says your pregnant then 99.9% of the time you are, you need to go to a doctor.
  12. cleverme123
    I don't mean to sound negative or harsh, but quite frankly the story that she has fed you seems to be quite off target. If her house was strict her parents wouldn't have let her answer the phone and I doubt seriously that a 7 year old would randomly get phone calls from someone pretending to be a doctor. The other stuff too seems odd. Totally off base is there a chance that maybe in her house she was molested or touched by someone. People that have been develop quite elaborate stories such as the ones she is telling. Not saying her professor is innocent but if she seriously had a problem she would either stop going to the class and putting herself in a position where the professor could harass her or she would take action against him. There is something else going on...I advise you to be extremely careful with this one, because you could be walking into a can of worms. I would suggest a counselor or some sort of therapist to her, if indeed all that stuff really did happen, she needs help. And if it didn't happen you need to find out why she's made such stories up.
  13. cleverme123
    Yes they did cause a great deal of pain especially during menstrual time or sex. I had a laser surgery that they go in through the belly button and scope first then use the laser to reduce portions of the cyst before they remove it.
  14. cleverme123
    Think this way....would you rather stay there and let your sons see you get abused and have them grow up thinking its ok to pick on women because women are weak.
  15. cleverme123
    I think your ex husband probably is telling your kids its your fault. Abusers never think anything is their fault nor do they care that they put the kids in the middle. Stay strong stick to your guns and believe me you are doing the right thing.
  16. cleverme123
    Cyst are very common in females and usually not cancer. The thing is that if it gets large enough it can cause bowel ubstruction and cause irriatable bowel syndrome. It can also explain the pain in your back as well as some of the other things you mentioned. I had this and had it removed and was perfectly fine. I went on to have 2 kids and my third is due any day now. So I wouldn't get extrememly worried. My OB GYN said I would never have kids it would never be normal yada yada....it all turned out ok and the cyst did not come back. That is not to say it may never, but you just deal with it when it happens. Good luck.
  17. cleverme123
    One of the best thigns you can do for yourself is know who you are, what you want and don't be afraid to get it. The most confident people are the ones living comfortably with themself. Don't settle for anything less than what you want, or you will find yourself in a long life of misery, and you will always settle. Hopefully you will find what you want.
  18. cleverme123
    Is it better to lead a life of lies, or to face the music and come clean. Someone is going to get hurt. It probably won't be you, your deception no doubt will cause an ugly reaction which is something that can be expected. You have created the situation and now you need to fix it regardless of consequence. the longer it goes the worse it will be.
  19. cleverme123
    I am in the same situation as you. My husband also sees his ex, she got a job where he works. He denies anything other than friendship. He calls her on his cell, comes home late and then pretends like all is okay. I ignore it all too. I am afraid to walk out but hate this as you do. I understand where your coming from so if you would like you can pm me.
  20. cleverme123
    I am 9 months pregnant, and my husband did the exact same thing pretty much. It's with his ex girlfriend and some girls name I found on a piece of paper from yahoo. If he is lying about it and he purposely gave her his new cell phone number you can bet it will happen again. I understand your position as well, I choose to ignore what I know is going on behind my back for the very same reason you are not wanting to leave, 2 kids previous marriage and pregnant with his son. You have to make a choice I guarantee you it isnt going to stop.
  21. cleverme123
    My best advice, is to just play around and see what gets the girl your with going. There are lots of things you can do to make it feel good for yourself too
  22. cleverme123
    I have one final take, she had a miscarriage a couple years ago, and is tired of going through guys for experience. One can only assume that a girl who has had this much trauma at this age most certainly has had sexual, emotional, physical abuse at some point. My guess would be the family she comes from, or at very least something she has seen. I think you are making a grave mistake pursuing this one. No matter what you are looking for you can't honestly tell me you don't feel more like a father than a boyfriend. She is pursuing a relationship to fix something that has happened to her.
  23. cleverme123
    Ya probably should start off missionary until you get comfortable with your body and whoever your with. All positions can feel good, but it takes some practice I do applaud you however for asking questions and taking responsibility before hand though.
  24. cleverme123
    I am just gonna plain out tell ya what I think....First there is a huge difference between 31 and 16 and 20 something and thirty something. There is 11 years between my husband and I Me 27 him 38. Let me tell you about one issue that creates havoc. He has two daughters one 12 one 15, okay that is difficult because I am only 12 years off his oldest daughter. You have kids and honestly how you could get in a relationship with someone young that has no possible chance of being a mother figure to them at this point in her life is very selfish to your kids. I have to ask why whe is seeming so attractive to you? She is a child, has not grown up and an older guy to a 16 year old will seem like the love of her life. Women fall in love with that father type figure. I think its kinda immorral and I defiantly think it's wrong for you to even pursue this relationship or give it thought. You can date someone 10,11,15, or even 20 years younger than you if you gotta, but you have to be on a maturity level that is pretty much the same. I doubt she is an where close to that. Not to mention an endless amount of charges should any thing physical happen, no sex isn't everything, but it will pop up eventually. You need to just cool your jets and tell her you like her but the age thing makes it impossible.
  25. cleverme123
    You could have irritable bowel syndrome or something more serious like Colitis. You need a gastrointestinologist so they can scope you to find out what the problem is, I too have this so I recommend going asap as it gets worse.
×
×
  • Create New...