abraxys

Knowing what has gone on the last year and a half: Where I work, there`s a female who i`m friendly with. The last few shifts we`ve worked together she`s been quite sensual. What I mean is that the conversation always returns to sex. She tells me all about how she has sex and how good her blow jobs are. This, I must admit does turn me on, which I think she knows. It all started when I happened to accidentally mentioned that its been a while since I had sex. Although I wear my engagement ring she still comes on to me. I`m now finding it difficult to resist her offers of a BJ or sex. NOTHING has happened yet BUT I`m afraid something might. My heart says NO WAY but my sexual being says YES. What makes it worse is that I`m now having erotic dreams about her!! Why?? Can anyone help me cope? Many thanks if you can.

Hi all, sorry its been as long but I`ve needed time to organise things. My partner decided to terminate, then split up with me. Eight and a half weeks later she contacted me and wanted us to get back together, because she realised how much I meant to her. We got back together and things were good again. Just before Christmas however, she fell pregnant again. She was taking her contraceptive but she had a cold, which probably caused the pregnancy. Again she went through the feelings that the baby was going to ruin her life, and wanted rid of it. However, this time, she decided to keep it. She is now 2 weeks due, and we`re both VERY much looking forward to the new arrival. Sex life is so far no different. The last time we had sex was just before she found out she was pregnant. She still maintains that she is never going to have sex with me, or anyone else EVER again. I do LOVE her but realise that a relationship cant continue if one partner is a sexual being and the other partner isnt.

My fiancee and I met about two years ago, and things went well until recent times. Just about 2 months ago we found out that she was pregnant. I was overjoyed, she wasn`t too thrilled. Eventually she came to like the idea. Our sex life has never been great as she hasn`t much interest in it whereas I have. Since she found out she was pregnant she has banned sex completely. Nothing intimate either, i.e. massage, touching etc. She`s now 3 months gone, and last night she told me I better get use to never having sex again as she has no interest whatsoever in it. When I told her that I could live with no sex until baby is about a year old, she told me that I better get use to that idea, as I wasn`t going to get it again, as she doesn`t want to end up like this EVER again. I dont know what to do. I`m so confused. Right now we`re living like brother and sister instead of potential man and wife. This morning I tried to cuddle into her in hed as today is the day of the scan and wish us good luck. She kicked me and told me to stop it as she doesn`t want to be cuddled either now. I feel she`s pushing me away, but I don`t know if she`s just being hormonal due to being pregnant. Anyone any ideas?? Meanwhile, I`m providing my own entertainment to curb my sex drive from going into overload. I`m getting frustrated by the lack of sexual intimacy. I don`t mind not having sex just now, but I do mind being shut out from all intimate close contact with my partner. CAN ANYONE HELP????????????? Yours Very Confused Abraxys

She has been very affectionate with me lately. Still very little sex though, I`m lucky if I get once a month. I do care about her loads. I have been helping her get back to college to do higher grades so she can go to university. She appreciates this but again doesn`t seem interested in a sexual relationship. We sleep together, cuddle in at night together, enjoy pillow talk, but just don`t get jiggy!! I feel sadness in bed and happiness when I`m around her, as she is loving and caring outside of the bedroom!!

Small problem that needs other people`s advice. My girlfriend and I enjoy our sex life but the problem is that she doesn`t like cunni lingus and she wont give fellatio. She thinks that both forms or oral sex is disgusting. I LOVE giving oral to my girlfriends. She finds this difficult to accept. She told me the other day that sex isn`t that important in a relationship, and, if I wanted to, I had to go find someone else to get a blowjob from, or give it to. I don`t want to split up with her over this minor problem but I really love oral. I`ve thought about prostitutes, just for a blowjob, but I don`t know how she would react if I told her that I`m getting blowjobs from a prostitute because she wont give me one. Also require to keep my oral technique up to date. This may constitute to having an affair, just without sex, outside of a relationship but I need my sexual desires fulfilled, as I`m going crazy without. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!

Have already met her mom and dad. They both get on alright with me. She doesn`t like my dad and mom though. She deliberately wont go round to their house if offered. I don`t know if this relationship is actually going anywhere but I guess my girlfriend and I could just stay friends until I move abroad in 2006, hopefully. The only problem is gonna be that we still sleep together but dont have sex. What if I am in need of a good session? Haven`t decided yet.

She was troubled in the early stages of our relationship by a crush on her female lecturer. So much so that she once told me that she loved her more than she loved me. She left college because it was driving her insane, and that it was destroying our relationship, to the point she wanted to dump me so she could go back to college and see the lecturer again. Now she blows hot and cold. Right now its luke warm. There`s times when she is very affectionate, I REALLY enjoy it when she`s like that. Other times though she doesn`t want me to even touch her. Its weird!! I don`t know about much about this, but we haven`t been sexually intimate i.e. sensual massage, french kissing, cuddling, etc in well over 2 months now. When I try to be romantic i.e. flowers, chocolates, cook a nice meal etc, she tells me she`s not in the mood, which puts me off going to as much trouble just for her again. If that makes any sense. I`m getting bored and frustrated. She`s really pushing the limit on how much I care about her. Oh, she doesn`t like to be affectionate as her last few boyfriends were VERY withdrawn, thinking about themselves only. Does this justify the way she treats me???? I just don`t know. Please help!!

I have been with my partner for just about a year now. I must admit she is reluctant to be affectionate. But lately she has refused to let me kiss her on the lips, opting for the side of her face only. She does`nt like me kissing any part of her body, including her neck. When I asked her why she doesn`t want my to kiss her, she appears to always come up with some excuse, i.e. she`s not in the mood, my breath smells (ok it does sometimes, but not ALL the time!!), she`s busy etc etc etc. Also it always seems that recently I`m the one looking for kisses, not her. I sometimes wonder if she even still cares for me. She tells me she does but she has a strange way of showing it. If I didn`t trust her as much, I`d assume she was cheating on me, or is feeling guilty about something. So I wont talk about it. Even stranger, she has told me she can`t be bothered with sex. She went without for three years, before she met me. I have a large repetoire of foreplay techniques to thrill and excite her, as past girlfriends have found out, but she tells me she doesn`t want foreplay. She just wants sex. I`m getting bored, as I have a high sex drive and she has hardly any. I am loyal but she is trying my loyalty to the edge. As my best female friend once told me: If you don`t feel loved, of course your going to look elsewhere. I don`t want to look elsewhere, but its like she`s driving me away. I still care about her, but am beginning to realise that this relationship is going nowhere quickly. The main problem is that we have just moved into a joint rented flat together, giving up both our respective flats to live toghether. Where do I go? What do I do? Yours, very, very confused Abraxys

Strange, I was writing in my diary last night and I balanced up just what I feel for her and then the annoyances I don`t like about her. The annoyances won. Thing is though, she tells me she needs me the most right now to get over her. Personally, I think, that she needs to confront her sexuality and make a decision. Is she straight or lesbian? I wrote in my journal that it isn`t fair on me living with not knowing this. I want to stay friends but don`t know if it`ll really happen. I`ve tried to be the best boyfriend I can for her but I don`t think that its enough. Again, I feel guilty at allowing myself to try to help her sort things out, and failing, drastically. She says she will never forget her lecturer but will lose her feelings for her over time, something which she can only do herself, and not me helping her to rid them off her. Stupid thing is, I told her in a minutes tenderness last night that I would move in over the summer then, if it doesn`t work out I can move back into student accommodation again in September for Uni starting. The thing is though, I can`t see this working out before the leaving date for the uni is (end of May). I`m feeling currently very nauseas, with butterflies in my stomach. I`m not eating very much and I haven`t been sleeping well since saturday, hence the reason for me writing my diary at 1am - 2.30am this morning.

Have been going out with my girlfriend, jacqueline, for 8 months now. When we first started going out I thought there was something a bit strange about her. She told me that she has an obsession with her female lecturer, who has a boyfriend/fiance already. She told me that if I didn`t want anything to do with her now would be a good time to tell her. At the time I thought that I was man enough to be able to understand her obsession. I love my girlfriend but I`m now finding that our relationship is being destroyed by this obsession. She saw her every day at college, and has openly admitted to me when she plays with her vibrator she thinks about having sex with her lecturer. She left college because her obsession with her lecturer was getting out of hand. She decided to write a letter to tell her lecturer EXACTLY how she felt about her, and then hand delivered it. Jacqueline tells me that nothing would ever happen between them, but the obsession is getting so bad that since leaving college she now can`t stop thinking about her. She wonders what her lecturer thought about her letter, and if she was saddened or pleased with her decision. She tells me its eating her up inside and she doesn`t know what to do. Meanwhile I don`t know what to do. Its affecting me at work and also at university. I can`t concentrate because Jacqueline is unhappy. She has told me there is nothing I can do for her while she tries to sort this out in her own head. Right now I feel helpless, lost and insecure. I`m having difficulty coming to terms with just how deep this obsession is to her. She tells me its driving her crazy. I`m there for when she needs a cuddle, but can`t offer her any verbal help as I have no idea what she`s going through, so I just sit and listen. This annoys her because she wants some kind of answer. I just can`t give that kind of advice. On top of this, she asked me to move in with her a few months ago, to which I have provisionally said yes. Now I don`t know. If there came a time in the near future that she turned to me and said she is completely lesbian, would I have wasted everything I have put into this relationship to date? Would moving in be even a BAD idea? I do LOVE her but am scared incase things don`t work out and I am homeless, again. I REALLY don`t know what to do. CAN ANYONE HELP? PLEASE?

Well, returned from Egypt and what a strange holiday it was. Instead of the two of us talking about the problem with the lecturer we were ill with food poisoning!!!!!!!! 5 days rain, with two days sunshine made the holiday a bit of a washout. We were too busy being concerned about ourselves , than to worry about the problems back home. Anyway its been a few weeks since we returned and alot has happened. My partners obsession with her lecturer has become much worse. So much so she was going to dump me to follow her obsession. Thankfully her friends managed to talk her out of this. Consequentially, she has now given up the college course. She tells me that if we are to have a proper try at this relationship she doesn`t want her obsession to get in the way of us. She handed in a letter to her lecturer telling her why exactly she was leaving.....because of her. She now talks about the lecturer alot. I feel I`m helpless right now, as I can`t do anything to help her. Even she has said that. She wonders if her gay feelings will resurface later on in her life. She also wants to know what her lecturer thought about the intimate letter she wrote her. Its the not knowing thats making her think about the lecturer 24-7 right now. She now wants me to move in with her. The reason being that she says she`s let go of somone she really loves and now doesn`t want to let the other person in her life that she cares about leave either. I`m dubious right now. What if she were to meet another female who is attainable? Will I have to leave the house if she told me that she is fully lesbian, and not bisexual? What would it do to my head, if this were to happen in the coming years?? Can anyone help explain? She wants to talk to someone who has been there already, to ask their advice, but the problem is, I can only empathise, her friends can only do the same. We`re both lost!!!!!!

Looking forward to Egypt trip, IMMENSELY!! Gonna take your advice. Thankyou for your help, you`ve been very supportive. Will e-mail again, after the Egypt trip to update you. Abraxys

Thanks for your reply. We are going to Egypt on saturday so I`m going to discuss this then. It`ll be the perfect time as we are both very relaxed and free from the normal everyday stresses of work/college/uni etc. I feel exactly the same when you asked the question, How does she know nothing will happen with the lecturer. She`s basically said that a fellow lecturer, who is also on the college trip with jacqueline, won`t let the lecturer throw away her career for a student. But I think if something is gong to happen, it will, and nothing is going to stop it. She`s trying to put the whiole issue aside just now. My girlfriend wants to leave college altogether. I`ve told her that it would be a waste, not now that she`s come so far in her course. She can`t give college up, because I`m sure she`ll regret it later in life. I`ve suggested transferring college to finish her studies. I think she secretly realises, that, if something does happen between her and her lecturer it will be goodbye for me. I`ve always told her that I can`t compete with another woman for her affections. I feel useless. It is hurting me already just thinking about my girlfriend and the lecturer together, in Ireland. A part of me just wants to back off of her, so if something does happen then, the hurt won`t be as bad. But, if I do that, then I`ll might inadvertently help make her mind up to dump me as I`ve suddenly gone cold. The other part of me wants me to fight for her and be everything I can be for her, to prove my feelings outright. I JUST DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!! Hopefully things will be ironed out a little better when we come back from Egypt. Cheers

Have been going out with my girlfriend, jacqueline, for 7 months now. When we first started going out I thought there was something a bit strange about her. Found out recently that she has an obsession with her female lecturer, who has a boyfriend already. I love my girlfriend but I`m finding that our relationship is being destroyed by this obsession. She sees her every day almost at college, and has openly admitted to me when she plays with her vibrator she thinks about having sex with her lecturer. Jacqueline tells me that nothing would ever happen between them but the obsession is getting so bad that we argued outside a pub because she thought I was being too lovable. She had been cold when I tried to kiss her and tell her my feelings for her. In actual fact the problem was with her lecturer. Does Jacqueline tell her how she feels, and then leave college?, Does she not say anything and let it destroy her inside emotionally? Would the lecturer feel the same for her and ruin her career in college for a student? Meanwhile I don`t know what to do. Its starting to affect me at work and also at university. I can`t concentrate because Jacqueline is unhappy. She`s going on a trip to Ireland shortly and the lecturer will be there. She`s afraid of going but doesn`t want to tell her. I`ve asked Jacqueline that if she wants, she can get to know the lecturer better, and, say if something did happen between them, then I will be happy for her. I just want to let her know that I`m there for her no matter what she does. Although we are a couple, and have never cheated on each other, she has told me that nothing will ever happen between them. But, if its the way of the world, then, something is going to click. And NOTHING is going to stop that. I REALLY don`t know what to do. CAN ANYONE HELP PLEASE, PLEASE !