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Cadence308

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Everything posted by Cadence308

  1. Cadence308
    It is possible to save $6,000 in five months if you can save and don't already have a lot of bills. I don't know what kind of area you live in, but the area I'm from is a big mining, oil, and gas area, so it's really easy for men to get good paying jobs, which would make it easy to save this kind of money in this amount of time. It's hard work, but well worth it for someone going back to school. It would be more difficult for a woman to save this kind of money where I'm from.
  2. Cadence308
    I am a woman and so is she. She has already done chemo before. They are sure that it is in her lymph nodes and has spread. Chemo helped before last year. But, they will only do chemo again if she will allow them to do the surgery to remove a few lymph nodes to observe the progression of the disease. She is scared that if they do the surgery she may die or it may spread worse than before. She is in pain daily and doesn't know if she should just allow nature to take its course. She is one of the strongest people I have ever met in my life. She told me last night that she thinks she has problems sleeping because she is scared that she will miss something. We were holding each other and I couldn't hold the tears back. I think I will check out this forum that you mentioned. I am in the biological sciences and have been wanting to do a Ph.D. in cancer biology even before I met her. This was one of the things that she found attractive about me.
  3. Cadence308
    I'm 28 yo and have been seeing a woman who is 46 yo. We have fun together and laugh a lot. She is very sweet with me. The cuddling and holding each other have been great. I have never been with anyone sexually and we have only seen each other three times, so hopefully things will be more intimate. We can talk about many things together and things are progressing quite rapidly. I'm not sure how these things end, as I'm pretty inexperienced with the whole relationship thing. She also has been diagnosed with terminal breast cancer and may have to begin chemotherapy again in Sept. She was given 6 mos. to 6 years to live and it's been 2.5 years. This is scary for me, as I don't know what the future holds. There never are any guarantees in life...
  4. Cadence308
    Sorry this happened to you. I can only relate to what your gf may be feeling in terms of having feelings for another woman. I joined this site in Aug. 2004 because I was confused about my feelings for another woman. The last few years I have been exploring my feelings for women. All I can say is that it is really hard to come to terms with feelings for someone of the same sex. It is definitely a coming out process. Sexuality is not black or white. It lies on a continuum with most people somewhere in the middle even though most would never admit it. You should watch the movie, "Kinsey." It is about Alfred Kinsey, a biologist who studied sex in the 1950s and changed people's perceptions about sex. It came out a few years ago, so you should be able to rent it or buy it at a videostore. My therapist recommended it to me to help me think about my sexuality. I think it could help you understand where your gf is coming from. Keep us posted!
  5. Cadence308
    I think it sounds like you have a classic case of the "grass is greener elsewhere" syndrome. You are seeing things and your past relationship with your ex as so great because you are having current issues with your current gf. If you were with your ex you would see how great things were with this girl that you are with now. It happens. I think if you love the girl you are with then you should not see your ex or spend time with her because it will make you want something that you do not have and maybe should not have. Enjoy what you have right now. Work on the issues that you are facing with your current gf and try not to live in the past because you will only remember the good things.
  6. Cadence308
    I agree with other posters that a relationship becomes exclusive when both parties agree to be exclusive and not date others. I also think it depends on the emotional investment when that occurs. If you feel you are ready to make that step then ask the other person where they see the situation going between the two of you and ask them what they want.
  7. Cadence308
    Hi, I remember your story. Allowing her to live with you is only going to cause you more pain. You need some space and some distance from her. She is consuming you and taking everything that you have to offer and giving you nothing in return, but a broken heart. The only way that it will be possible for you to move on is to create some space and boundaries with her. She knows how you feel about her, yet she had sex with you on multiple occasions, led you into believing that she was attracted to you, moves in with you, and tells you that she will never be with you. I'm sorry, but she sounds emotionally immature and like a very dysfunctional woman. I think you can do better than her. I think you can find someone who has her poop in a group who will respect you for the woman that you are and not take advantage of your kindness and resources (i.e., housing arrangements). You are giving her all of your power and she is taking it. It is going to kill you when she starts dating someone else. I think you know what you need to do, but just need to muster the courage to do it!
  8. Cadence308
    I agree with other posters. The fact that your bf stayed in the bedroom after you ran out indicates that most likely he wanted something to happen that night. The fact that he couldn't tell this junkie no or push her away, but laid there and probably did have sex with her indicates that he has no self control. I'm so sorry this happened to you. His silence speaks a 1000 words or more. I don't know if it's even worth it or not to find out his perspective on the situation since you saw what you saw. Why hear his side of it? So he can cherry coat the situation to make it look better. Move on! You deserve so much better!
  9. Cadence308
    M sounds psycho. It sounds like she's in love with your girlfriend, J. The whole situation was weird starting with telling people she's having a housewarming party and then when they show up, there's no party at all. I think it would be a good idea to get a bouncer for this party. That way he can keep her in check and call the cops if she shows up. This can only get weirder and more violent. I saw on a crime show where this older lesbian broke it off with the younger one because she felt they weren't compatible. (A little different from your situation, but they only went out a few times). The younger lesbian wouldn't take the rejection and started doing similar things like what M is doing to your girlfriend. However, it only escalated and for the longest time the older lesbian felt bad for the younger one. When the older one would change her #, the younger one managed to get it. The younger one would sneak into her house when she was gone and shower in her house, etc. One night the younger one showed up with a gun when the older one had a friend visiting. Eventually the cops came and arrested the younger lesbian. Turns out, she was living in the crawl space beneath the house of the older one. She was tapping her phone to get her #s when she would change her phone #, and she was listening to her calls and could hear whatever plans the older one was making, etc. All I'm saying is that M is out of line here and things are going to get worse unless you do something. A restraining order would be great if you can get one. Document every incident that you or J have with M, every drive by, every phonecall, email, etc. You may need to prove this. I would document the day, time, and specifics of what happened and who was there. GL!
  10. Cadence308
    I think only you can truly answer this one. It sounds like you've been living overseas to get some distance from friends and family to keep your sexuality a secret. Now that it's out, then you finally feel safe to return. It sounds like that's what you really want. p.s. To get quotes you have to highlight what you want to copy, then paste into message, then highlight what you want to quote, then hit the quotes button on the top of the thread and it will say QUOTE around what you are quoting.
  11. Cadence308
    Last time I checked, which was yesterday, the answer was yes! LOL
  12. Cadence308
    It seems like there's a consensus that you and your gf need to work on communication issues before getting married. The fact that she is so adament about moving to Europe and can not and will not compromise with you about this and living close to your elderly parents seems selfish to me. If she loves you as much as she says that she does, why is she pretty much giving you the ultimatum on this one? Your parents are old and sick often. They are people that you care about and she is almost making you choose between her or them. Is there any way that your parents can move to Europe with you so that you can still be there for them and still marry the girl you love? If it's possible that your parents would move, then I would just talk to them about it and how you feel conflicted because you love this girl, but if you two get married she insists on living in Europe and how you want to stay close to your parents if they should need you.
  13. Cadence308
    trueblue, I remember you. It is so good to hear that things are going so well for you. Congrats on coming out to your family and friends! I am so happy that they are so supportive. It sounds like you have been making a lot of progress in your coming out story. It made me smile and I thought for a minute about what it would be like for me to come out to my family. I think they already know and are just waiting for me to tell them. I'm glad that my PMs helped you. I am doing well, too, and getting over my crush. I've been emailing with a woman that I met online. I am starting to have a crush on her and yes, she's older. take care, Ballys
  14. Cadence308
    It sounds like your self-esteem needs some work. Have you thought that it could be your attitude and the way you think and act towards women as a reason why you haven't gotten into a relationship? It sounds like you are going through the motions just trying to get laid. A lot of women have a sixth sense for picking up if a guy is only interested in one thing. An escort sounds like a good solution to what you are looking for. Sucks that you have to pay for it, but you are right in that you both will know what the other person wants and no one gets hurt.
  15. Cadence308
    I'm going to respond to this one. Sorry no one else has. I think your friend has a serious crush on you, but she's feeling really conflicted about her sexuality right now. It really sounds like she's sincere when she tells you that she has a crush on you, but then she starts thinking about it and feeling really guilty so later on she revamps her original response. Until she is really ready to acknowledge to herself how she feels about you then there is nothing that you can do. If I were you I would stop playing her games. It sounds like she likes feeling loved and needed by you, but is not ready emotionally or lacks the maturity to reciprocate. Next time she starts the "Who do you like" game, I would just tell her, "I'm not playing this game any more. I'm sick of you telling me that you are attracted to me and then changing your mind by telling me that you don't like me like that." Because until you end her game of charades you are going to be played and you will keep feeling bad. I was in a similar situation about 2 years ago with a much older woman. She flirted with me, bad, and always wanted to know who I liked and went on dates with and stuff and then when I kind of let her know that I was attracted to her she freaked out. We are no longer friends. I'm also pretty sure she has a girlfriend. I should have ended her game sooner. Hope that helped. If you need any more feedback feel free to PM me. Ballys
  16. Cadence308
    This guy is a creep and he sounds really immature. I am so sorry that he's lied to you and cheated on you so much. You really deserve someone better who will treat you good and be faithful to you. Your mom must have known what this guy was really about and it sounds like she was just trying to protect you from him. You need to leave him. You and your son are not in a good situation. It will hurt for a while, but then you will be able to move on and find someone good.
  17. Cadence308
    I can see how it would be easy to blame yourself for your wife's mess up, but she should have been mature enough to look for ways to improve your relationship, not looking elsewhere. I hope that you both still love each other and can reconcile and get some counseling to work on things. Maybe this affair was an eye opener to both of you...
  18. Cadence308
    This is my vote, too. This is going to get messy and fast! I would tell him that you are attracted to him, but cannot get involved with him until or unless he is a single man and same for yourself. I hope things sort themselves out.
  19. Cadence308
    I think you should forgive yourself. This guy sounds like a jerk who took advantage of you on an emotional day. He knew that you were a virgin and I can't believe you haven't heard back from him since the deed. Have you tried calling him? If it were me, I would try to talk to him and see how that goes. However, a guy who is wishy-washy is a BIG signal that he may be in it for only one thing.
  20. Cadence308
    If you like your ex and want to be with him and he has feelings for you, why don't you get back with him? If you don't have feelings for him, then why the mind games? I guess I just don't get what you are hoping to get out of it? Is it an ego trip? If so, you should just leave him alone.
  21. Cadence308
    Sorry, but there is absolutely NO WAY that you can just look at someone and tell their sexual orientation. Nobody wears a sign on their forehead that says, "I'm gay" or "I'm bi." If you are looking for someone for a threesome why don't you post a thread on link removed stating what you want or some other personals ad. There are people out there looking for the same thing, it's just a matter of finding them and not offending those who aren't looking for the same thing in the process. You're right...it's not a good idea to just approach a woman for a threesome. Also, I wouldn't respond to a lesbian ad and ask a woman for a threesome. I have posted an ad, looking to meet women for friendship that could eventually lead to more. I have received so many responses from women who are married or have a boyfriend and are just looking for some extracurricular action on the side or they and their partner are looking for someone for a threesome. I get a little offended since I am not looking for a threesome at all and my threads state that I am single and looking for a single woman. Your best bet is link removed or link removed.
  22. Cadence308
    I tried reading your story, but it is very confusing. Maybe break it up into paragraphs. It seems to me like you have a history and problem with lying to women. Maybe get some therapy and learn how to have an honest, committed relationship before you go sleeping with everyone.
  23. Cadence308
    Sorry, but I don't understand what you are asking us? Are you asking us if we think you are emotionally cheating your current wife? The answer is yes. Are you asking us if we think it's okay? The answer is no. What are you hoping to regain from contact with your ex? Since you are both in current relationships and you are married to someone else, I'm wondering what you both were hoping to gain from this reconciliation??? It's great that you can talk about what happened, but is it really giving you closure or are you just hoping to get closer and more intimate?
  24. Cadence308
    I think by telling him that you would lend him the money you put your foot in your mouth. You were being generous without thinking it through. That is commendable, but now that you are thinking things through you are thinking of changing your mind. This situation could be damaging to your relationship since you already said that you would and changed your mind. I would tell him about how that money is your "back up" money and that you feel that you spoke too soon about lending him all of the $1400 and that you feel that you should keep some money in the bank for emergencies. Then I would maybe try to negotiate with your boyfriend by offering some of the money and then offering to help him find scholarships and grants for the other part of it. Another thing, if your boyfriend has $100 to spend out with the boys frequently why is he struggling with money so much? It sounds like he also needs help with re-evaluating his budget and priorities?
  25. Cadence308
    Waxing is great for the bikini line IF you can tolerate the pain. I think it's far worse than getting your eyebrows done. I have tried waxing a couple of times and like the smooth and clean effect down there, but the pain is hard to get past, so haven't done it in a while. Some day I would like to get laser hair removal done.
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