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Cadence308

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Everything posted by Cadence308

  1. Cadence308
    I think that you will do anything to try to make this girl happy because you are in love with her. However, in the process of trying to please her you will be compromising your self-worth and self-respect. You need space from her so that you can truly move on. As long as you are in contact with her you will continue to be at her beck and call.
  2. Cadence308
    It sounds like she really did love you, as she probably wouldn't have been with you for 5 years. I think she wanted you to do what is best for you because she knows that you are passionate about the culinary arts. I also think that she felt that your lives were moving away from each other and not towards each other. She is working on her Ph.D. in Buddhism and knew that you wanted to pursue your life dream of being a chef. It also sounds like she has been re-evaluating her life and deciding that she may want to be with a man and perhaps have a child some day. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain and losing something that you care about so much. I wish that there were something that I could say or do to make you feel better. All I can say is that I've felt rejected before in relationships and things will get better for you. Are you seeing a counselor or have you thought about it? Many schools offer therapy for free or on a pro-rated basis and it might help you to sort things out.
  3. Cadence308
    Have you thought about transferring to another master's program away from your situation? Doesn't your academic area offer teaching or research fellowships or other scholarships? I think moving away from your current situation and seriously looking into other master's programs that offer scholarships is your best bet for getting away from your nasty ex.
  4. Cadence308
    I agree with Foxlocke that it would be inappropriate at this time to make any hints that you are interested in your boss. If you are serious you should find another job first. This could get messy if you don't and you don't want to get screwed like that!
  5. Cadence308
    Tigris stated it short and sweet. Get to know him, be his friend, go for a drink. I'm going to add: when you are having a drink give him a compliment and flirt a bit!
  6. Cadence308
    I see a few problems with your story and your situation. You are falling in love with your female friend, yet you have a boyfriend. I think you should first break up with your boyfriend before you continue to pursue your friend or things go further with her. It's clear that you are confused about your sexuality and it's not fair to your boyfriend that you pretend to be in love with him when your feelings are far more intense for your female friend. The other problem I see with your situation is that the only time something happens with your friend is when you both have been drinking. Everyone knows that when you are drinking you are more horny and more inclined to feel, do, and say things that you wouldn't normally do otherwise. Now you don't know where you stand with your friend. My suggestion is to try watching movies with her without the alcohol and see if the same things happen. Is she okay with you kissing her and professing your love for her when she's sober? Many straight women make out with other women only when they have been drinking because they are horny and the other person is there. Sometimes the make out sessions mean absolutely nothing. This is why I think you should see what happens with her when you are both sober.
  7. Cadence308
    I think you should find out if your friend is gay friendly first before approaching her with your feelings. Does she date guys or appear to be interested in men? Find these things out first. Then tell her how you feel about her. Even if she doesn't feel the same way that you do, a good friend will be flattered by your attraction.
  8. Cadence308
    Hey Foxlocke, I am so sorry to hear what a creep this guy turned out to be! I am glad that you did check out the situation. He's one of those gay married guys who pretends to be completely straight, but is looking to hook up. I don't blame you for wanting to get the heck out of there. I do hope that you trash his number. He doesn't deserve you as a friend or anything more!
  9. Cadence308
    I agree that it sounds like he's been watching you for a while and that's a bit creepy. I would have asked him where he had seen you before. It almost sounds too coincidental that he's seeing you all over the place. If you feel like he could be a friend or possibly something more I don't think that you have anything to lose by meeting him for coffee. You don't know unless you try. Also, by dating you learn what you are really looking for. Maybe you aren't ready for a relationship, but he probably has friends...
  10. Cadence308
    I think it would be a good idea to go on a date with one. However, many gay women will be turned off if you act irresolute about being with a woman. They don't want to get all attached to a woman just to have her say that she really prefers men or someone who goes back and forth. My gf has been with women who cheated on her with men. One woman she dated a few times was just experimenting and my gf said as soon as she found this out she pulled the friend card on her and that was that...she did not want to get involved. A lot of lesbians do not like to even date bi-sexual women because of this. The crappy thing about meeting someone off of the internet is that they might not be who they say they are or even tell you that you are not what/who you say you are. My gf got mad at me after we had been talking for one week because she said that I lied to her about how long ago I had dated men (2 years ago). I told her that after one week of knowing someone, you can't expect to know all of the intimate details about each other's lives. I think since you are experimenting with your sexuality joining a LGBT at school is a good place to start.
  11. Cadence308
    Jinx, that's a great guide. I've read it before online. Personally, I think the list that Jinx cited is a good guide. However, nothing is better than open and direct communication, asking the person what she wants and doing the same. It really eliminates guessing and games.
  12. Cadence308
    When it's just the two of you and you are sitting or standing close to each other just look into her eyes, be quiet, and then ask her if you can kiss her. She already told you that she likes you. A lot of girls wait for the guy to make the first move. If you don't do it then you will be forever mad at yourself for it. I'm sure she'll love it!
  13. Cadence308
    I don't think it can hurt to let her know how much she means to you.
  14. Cadence308
    I hope that your date with your husband goes well. We will all be in the back seat of your car. lol I think letting him do most of the talking sounds good. And not pressuring him.
  15. Cadence308
    The more you hope for closure and try to get it, the more he will know that you are pining over him and he gets his ego boost. It sounds like this is all this means to him. You just need to do no contact and move on. That means don't call him, text him, try to see him or have anything to do with him. Sometimes you never really get closure from the other person. It sounds like you are looking for him to give you some sign of hope and that is not healthy. I never got closure in a situation where I really wanted it and the woman stopped talking to me for what seemed like no reason. I think she had another girlfriend, but she did not have the decency to tell me that or tell me what changed. It hurt me really bad for a really long time. I recently met someone new. It's been 2 years since this other woman broke my heart. I am finally getting hope that someone can care about me as much as I care about them. I think I am finally getting the closure from this woman of my past by just moving on and opening myself up to a new relationship. The sign that you are truly over someone of your past is when you are with someone else and you see your past love and could care less. Do something for yourself right now. Allow yourself to feel hurt. And let this person go. You deserve someone who is good to you, who does not yank your heart around, who wants to be with you, and who will give you the time of day.
  16. Cadence308
    If she's as sexually inexperienced as you say she is then you might have to make foreplay the focus for the next few sex sessions. Focus on getting her wet and lubed up and when she's turned on it should be a lot easier to penetrate her.
  17. Cadence308
    I agree with DN. Chatting and cybering with someone on the net for one year is a long time to not meet them. In my experiences, people that I emailed or chatted with on the net who were interested in something more with me wanted to meet me almost right away. I can understand why they would want to meet me right away (i.e., to make sure that I was who I said that I was and to see if they were attracted to me in person). The fact that you have been in contact with him for this long and he has not initiated a meeting really sounds like he's not interested. That's the thing about meeting someone off of the net...you never know how to take the other person and it's not a relationship. It becomes easier to hurt the other person or stand them up because the net depersonalizes things. You should just come straight out and ask him if he wants to meet you...direct communcation. If he says no, then if it would make you feel better then tell him how you feel and how he hurt you. I'm sorry this happened to you.
  18. Cadence308
    Some women are sexually abused at a young age. This can make them either hypersexual or go the other way. People also appear to be developing at a younger age, which can make hormones go crazy and increase sex drive. Plus, sex is everywhere in the media and kids see it and become curious.
  19. Cadence308
    How do you know that he does not know the woman in the naked pic on his cell phone? Seems pretty up close and personal to me and I would be p*ssed off about it. Don't pretend like you didn't see that. It is definitely crossing the line and you have very right to ask who she is and why he has it on his cell phone. That is so disrespectful to you! Who knows why he is doing this. I don't get men...I date women.
  20. Cadence308
    I have to agree with other posters that this guy sounds like he just wants one thing and is not interested in anything more with you, including a friendship. You will end up feeling bad about yourself if you continue to allow him to use you like this. It is not a good situation. It also sounds like he thinks he's better than you, which is not going to lead to a relationship. I would stay clear from this guy. He's going to be nothing but trouble or he wouldn't care who knew about the two of you. Most guys brag about making out with certain girls and if he doesn't want his friends to know that is not a good thing.
  21. Cadence308
    I think when you lose someone that you care about it is very normal to feel what you are feeling, which is apathetic. You are grieving and it's all very normal. It doesn't mean that you don't love your fiance or don't want to be with him, but right now you are so focused on the loss that you are feeling, so it's hard to feel anything else. When I was in fourth grade I lost my dog, Sugar. I didn't have her for as long as you had your car. My dog was special to me. I picked her out at the dog pound and she was just my dog. She was hit by a car. I felt what you are feeling. When other kids were playing on the playground I just sat and thought about my dog and cried. I was very sad. I would burst into tears at random times, didn't feel like doing anything. When I was at home I would just sit around and cry. It was hard and it hurt. I ended up writing her a letter telling her how much I missed her and how I would never get to hold her again, etc. I think this was my way of grieving and dealing with the loss. My mom told me that when she read my letter it made her cry because she saw how much I was hurting and couldn't do anything for me. Typing this right now is bringing tears to my eyes and this happened like 19 years ago. Write your cat a letter, telling her how much you miss her and how much she meant to you and how sad you are feeling. Don't feel like you have to plan your whole future now. Allow yourself to be sad and feel the pain. I guarantee that the pain will pass and you will feel better again even though you don't feel like it.
  22. Cadence308
    Sounds like she dumped you and loved it when you were pining over her, trying to get her back. Now that you've moved on she's realizing what she had and she's mad you aren't chasing her. Sounds like an ego trip to me...nothing more. Maybe she's also feeling a bit jealous of your new gf?
  23. Cadence308
    I'm wondering what happened with the psycho. Did she crash the party? What have you and your gf decided to do about her?
  24. Cadence308
    Sounds like things are going really well for you. I hope that others can have the same kind of experience that you had coming out. Peace!
  25. Cadence308
    Ask her if she's interested. She may be and she may not be. Sometimes women seem to flirt a lot and may not even realize it. If she's 24 yo and never been with a man, there's a good chance she may never want to be with a man. Then again, she could be attracted to you and never felt that sexual attraction for a man before. The best way to find out is just to ask her.
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