julie_an

Wow Tigris, you left me speechless... I can't imagine all the pain you suffered and before I forget I hope you are getting better now for the illness you told me about... After my last post things got more complicated, we started talking about other issues (having sex with men), from my point of view I don't think I would have the need but in her case, since I was her first it's kind of confusing because she's curious about it and I don't know what to do, should I let her free so she can experience that for herself, should we break up so she won't feel like cheating on me? or should accompany her while she tries this... I'm really confused now, I think I wouldn't stand the thought of her being with someone else, she even told me that "it's just sex", I don't believe that (years ago I would thought the same way) but now it's different, she told me that she wouldn't tell me if she did (indeed have sex with a man while we're together) so I told her that maybe it's better to break up so she can experience that for herself... she told me that she didn't want to hurt me... anyway, sometimes I think I took something away from her... I think that I don't fulfill her needs... what should I do? I can't sleep and I can't think of anything else... sorry to blurt everything out on you... LOL

Hey guys!!! how have you been??? sorry for not writing before, but i was quite busy with work but also with this kind of double-life I'm experiencing since I found THE LOVE OF MY LIFE... Well... well... news... We have almost 1 year of a wonderful relationship and getting STRONG each day, sometimes it's not flawless... I mean every relationship has downs and ups... so now I believe we are balancing everything, personalities...etc Today not only my sister knows, I told my little brother (he's 20) and my bestfriend Mary (she's 27) about Denisse and they didn't care at all, I think that only my brother doesn't understand the implications, but he's dealing with his issues and time would tell, but he's excellent In the other hand, as I told you in my last post Denisse and I were very careful with her family, and they think we are just friends, I tried to approach her family carefully so they won't be too scare of me and think other things - I know it's a LIE but we can't do much on that... not now... We are planning the future carefully, we talked about getting married (for us WE ALREADY ARE), but to be legally married we are searching for legal advice in other countries (Canada, Spain, etc) and also thinking about a family... we have consider the names of the children also... so as you can read WE LOVE EACH OTHER MORE EVERY SECOND Tigris, when are you getting married? I remember it was going to be on july of this year right? please let us know news about you and your fiancé Kisses to all and THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support... Jules

Tigris, thanks for sharing your story, I'm glad you have everything figured it out and finally you two will be able to spend your life TOGETHER, that's the important thing Well... about me and Denisse, I show her this web page, and she was glad I was able to spoke freely about what I was feeling and she's very grateful with all of you for support us... THANK YOU AGAIN... We are taking things more calmly and trying to see each other whenever we can, since both of our families are not ready yet to understand what we're feeling (except for one of her cousins and my sister, the only ones who know about us)... we are planning ahead of things, thinking more on the future 3 years from now, and for the rest of the people we mantain as "friends". We'll see what happens, but what we want is keep OUR LOVE as STRONG as it can be, and be happy with what we have and hope for the future, we were very impressed with your story Tigris... after 23 years you can finally be HAPPY and be with the woman you love, so what we think is that it's possible to live this way and together we'll plan carefully our future... career, place to live, family, etc... what do you think? I AM SO HAPPY guys, I SEE A BRIGHT FUTURE AHEAD!!!

Tigris, Since you've been in the same situation before... why did you guys could not be together, because of the family also? (if you don't mind that I ask you these questions)... I want to have a clear view of what is going to be for us, what challenges and difficulties we might experience in the future. I also wanted to tell you guys, that I exploded and told my sister, and she didn't care!!! she's happy for us... And today, Denisse is leaving for the weekend to be with her parents so I visited her (without her parents knowing of course) and talked to her and reassure that everything will be fine while we are both sure of our love, and also called my sister and she talked to her, so she was more calmed and relaxed. Ok, Tigris, feel free to answer / or not to the questions, ok? Thank you again for everything... Jules

Guys... thank you very much for your kind words, it's been really difficult these past two weeks, seeing each other and hiding from her parents... it's the only way right now... I won't deny what I feel for her and she's not going to do it too, we plan to stay low (profile) for a while and pretend with others that we're only friends... It's the only way, until we have everything ready to leave, I haven't told my parents either, that would be the next step, but not right now when everything is like this with her family. I'll keep you updated with everything, and everyone is right... I DON'T PLAN ON LOSING HER AND I'LL FIGHT FOR OUR LOVE... Thank you guys, Jules

Guys... We were so stupid... stupid, last week we were so obvious about our relationship that her parents began to wonder what was happening and they opened ther hotmail logs and guess what... found out about our relationship, so last Thursday they confronted us! imagine my face, and her face! Anyway, we didn't tell anything to them, she told them we would talk about ourselves, and so we did, we planned to keep things "low profile" so ...we are making they believe we broke up whatever we had and become friends again... also we're going to start to visit a psichologist! OMG... this is f"#$#$ nuts... the plan is to lie to the psichologist and pretend we become only friends again, and after a year or so leave the country or going to another state to live as far as we can from them... imagine that! I don't know if I'm able to pretend I'm only a FRIEND... I love her so much, I proposed to her!!! I think this is pointless, I couldn't see her since then... and talk to her by phone... Great things vanish this quick? (I feel so stupid... for being that careless...)

Hi guys...how have you been? Well...sorry for not writing in a while, but I just came back from vacations and let me say, this time my vacations rocked! Ok, about Denisse we're still together and had the opportunity to travel together to the city where my family lives (she's a lawyer so she had to take care of some business at the same city) so she was able to meet my family (I didn't tell them yet that we're a couple, 'cause they would totally kill me? they wouldn't understand easily that I love a girl, so I would have to work in that department, also her family is very conservative so they don't know anything about us just yet). I think we have many complications in the future, sometimes we talked for hours about this topic, but never thinking on breaking up our relationship, so for what she says to me, she's thinking about a future together... that's so much more of what I was expecting and of course I would love to spend my life with her I LOVE HER TOO MUCH it's amazing to show someone you love how much you love 'em Ok, guys I have to go now, thanks again for all your wonderful words and wishes, this forum is amazing and gives you the possibility of talk openly about what you're feeling... THANKS!!!

Guys, Thanks for your replies and your valuable advices, yesterday after 2 days of fighting with her, we finally put the things on perspective (without alcohol this time) and what I feel she feels it too, i'm so happy guys............ she loves me too. Today is a day of choices, as I said one time I had a boyfriend and today would be the day everything will be decided for the best or worst, I want to take this chance... even if my heart could get wounded, I love her too much and yesterday I tried to show her what I felt... So, we'll see what happens... I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO EXPLODE Jules

Thank you guys for your replies, I'll do what you suggest Ballys, and you're right it's not fair for my boyf to pursue something that's not there, I've already talked to him before he went to work on the field last month and he's coming back in a few weeks so I'll have the chance to talk about our relationship. About Denisse, yes it's confussing, I've never tried anything when we're both sober, I feel afraid of how she would react, as you said, maybe things are not the way I'm thinking and it's only the alcohol effect...I'll try something this week to find out what's going on, but what I don't want it's to lose her friendship Jules

I totally agree with you, after all we're sharing the same distress... care to share?

Hey guys! I've already saw in other threads the same topic and my apologies for starting a new one with the same subject. I'm currently dating a guy (6 months now) but from work I get to knew this wonderful girl Denisse, so beautiful and intelligent, we became friends on april and since then the relationship became close. I try to spend every single spare time with her, seeing movies at her home (she lives with her parents, she's 22) and I live by myself. To keep the story short,I had a surgery 2 months ago and she stayed with me the whole time at the hospital and also 2 days at my place to take care of me, so I become more attached to her. When my current boyf comes back from work (he works 3 weeks in the countryside and then rests the other weeks) I prefer spending my time with her... I can't breathe when I'm not with her. Well, in july we had a party at my friend's house and she came by, also my boyf, and we got drunk, and when she hid at the bathroom 'cause we fought (I din't want her to go home alone - I was driving? and drunk?) well I went into the bathroom with her and apologized for everything and confessed my love, and told her that I never felt that way in my life, and she was "I want you to be happy first" and cried -remember we were drunk- and I told her that I wanted her to be happy no matter what...anyways she stayed at home that night and when we both wake up the next day -I tried to remember what else happened (because i only could remember some things)- and she was acting weird and the next se emailed me and told me she remembered more than I thought and that she wanted to keep our friendship no matter what happened, so I freaked out, and emailed her and told her that I wanted that too -keep the friendship- (I was so coward and I didn't confront the situation directly) and that I couldn't remember exactly what I said but either way I wouldn't regret it or take that back, and apologized again, so after that everything was the same... Passing the time together, but also when we watched videos at my place (the TV on my bedroom) we always start punching (not too hard) at each other arms or bite at our arms or hands playing... all the time and that makes me crazy -because it's hard not to act on your feelings... And then... last friday we went out with some friends and drink something and got a little bit drunk, of course this time I remember everything, and when I was leaving her at home I embraced her very hard and told her that what I told that DAY (that I loved her) it was for REAL and I will keep it (I mean no regret it), and she said that what she told me that day too...but then (and I promise it happened) we kissed, slowly but we kissed no more than a minute, I don't know if it was the moment, the drunk state but we did, it's the first time I kiss a girl in my life but it happened, and then she said "let's go into the car" because we were outside in the street, and I don't know why I did this but I entered the passenger side and leaned the seat down and she was on top (not really ON TOP) but kneeled down looking at me with her wonderful eyes, and I touched her face and put a trail of hair behing her right ear and touched her lips with my finger and she kissed my finger and then we kissed again until her dad called her and she entered her house, but before she entered I brought her face with my hand and give her a liplock fast and left. After that... and I don't know if she remembers anything, but I think she does, we never spoke about that, but I can't think clearly again, I dream every night with what happened, and I don't know what to do, she only had boyfriends and she's in love of this guy in another state and next week we're travelling together there... should I play the stupid part again and forget about what happened? (because after that we watched videos at my place again and we continued punching/bitin our arms and tickling... like nothing happened), should I confront her? or maybe it's too soon to realize and the best thing to do is wait and see if she shows any reaction in the future about this? Any help will be highly appreciated, sorry for the long post Jules