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Cadence308

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Everything posted by Cadence308

  1. Cadence308
    Physiologically, it's not really possible. This is because of the refractory period. I found this in Wikipedia: the free encyclopedia:
  2. Cadence308
    This is a sad thread, as all infidelity ones are. She only came clean with you twice now because you found out about the other guys and had hardcore proof. What about all of the "other" guys she's probably been with in the past 10 years? I'm sure there's not just these two. People do the same things they have always done to cope with things in their lives and that includes having affairs. It sounds like you are forgiving her much too easily. I would suggest marriage counseling. Some other poster said it best when he said that she should have been bending over backwards trying to make things work with you when you found out about the first guy, instead she's bending over for some other guy!
  3. Cadence308
    The first internet dating site I used was link removed. It was free to post a profile, but you could not email anyone until they emailed you first. Being a woman, I didn't have any problems getting responses. Then I found out from the men that I was dating on there that it was free for females to post profiles, but men had to pay the membership fee. The one that I ended up using the most was link removed. I met many men on there. It was the same situation as match, though. It was free to post a profile, but cost money to email. However, their monthly membership fee was minute. If you are worried about money have you thought of posting a profile on link removed? There's many personals on there and it's completely free. If you get any responses then you can pick and choose who to respond to.
  4. Cadence308
    Since you haven't talked to her in a while I don't see the harm in calling her to see how she is and what's going on in her life. Keep us posted!
  5. Cadence308
    You sound like a really sweet guy. If what her mother said about her crying 24/7 when you went away to college is true then I would think that she still has feelings for you. It sounds like she is trying to distance herself from you by dating this other guy. You live so far away...you can't expect her to put all of her eggs into one basket and wait for you. Although, I think it's good that you dating other girls, too. If I were you, I would wait and see what happens after you move more locally. It sounds like the two of you could end up back together since you never really broke up, esp. if she is dogging her current boyfriend to spend time with you when you are in town.
  6. Cadence308
    I think you should think about trying some of the things jsx suggested. Have you been sexually abused in the past? Does your disgust for sex stem from something like that?
  7. Cadence308
    You are a very attractive woman and it looks like you have a nice hairstyle! I would tell him you want someone with abs.
  8. Cadence308
    I think only you know the answer. It seems like Jayson does not make good choices and that hasn't changed from when he was 15 years old even though he's 29 now. Does he know what a condom is??? He is fathering all of these children with multiple women and he doesn't want to take care of them. I think Jayson may be a good father to the one son that he's kept and your daughter, but that he just makes bad choices. A person can still be a good person, but make bad choices. The fact that he is considering signing over this child before it's born seems selfish, but it sounds like he's also thinking about you and your daughter. The question is, do you want to be with someone who consistently makes bad choices that could affect your family's lives?
  9. Cadence308
    I think it's a red flag that this guy has certain standards for the way women or his gf should look. Some women might be okay with that. I wasn't. When I used to date men there were men all of the time trying to tell me what to wear, how to look, that I should have a six pack, etc. This one guy I went out with maybe three times (not even serious dating) seemed upset when I cut my hair about 1.5 inches all over (boy cut) and said to me, "I like girls with long, blonde hair down to their waist." We had just gone rockclimbing that day and I said, "I hope that you find that girl with long, blonde hair down to her waist and I hope that it doesn't get caught in the rope." That was the last time we hung out. I agree with you that one should not be going around telling others how they should look. Sounds like this guy is not happy with the way that you look. I would tell him, "Maybe you should go and date someone with a hairdo!"
  10. Cadence308
    I seriously doubt that she's dating you because she thinks that you are "experienced." There are some out there who are that shallow. Personally, I think and value a relationship more if the merchandise hasn't been bought and sold so much! haha It makes it more valuable. I am 28 years old and just lost my virginity this past summer (to another woman). It was something that I had many, many opportunities to lose and many relationships that I passed up because of lack of attraction and sexual interest. So being sexual is something that you have to be ready for and you will know when that time is. That's why I call it making love. I'm sure if you explain the situation to your gf before the moment she will understand and will be more flattered that she will be the first person that you have made love to. I think that is a big difference for men and women in terms of losing virginity.
  11. Cadence308
    Don't be passive. It can do nothing but cause you a lot of pain and heartache in the long run. Ask her why she wants to know.
  12. Cadence308
    Congrats! How did your date with the girl go? Did you get some?!
  13. Cadence308
    It sounds like you had moved on in your life and a lot of time had passed. Why did the two of you start contact again? I don't think it would be good for you to be his friend or involved with him. I don't see what good can come of this. What do you want from him? What would be the point in trying to be friends? He risked your health and was not considerate to you in a relationship. Move on!
  14. Cadence308
    The best way to know for sure would be to ask her, of course. Did she say that she is bi or a lesbian? You should ask her why she wanted to know all of that personal stuff about you. I had an older woman do that to me, but she was a professor at the university where I was studying. She was a faculty member in this weight training class that I was teaching. She always wanted to know who I dated, where I went, what we did, what I looked for in relationships, the age range that I dated. She even asked me to bring pics of the guys from online that I was dating. She got pissed and told me that they looked gay and wouldn't talk to me for about a week. I realized I had a crush on her and sort of let her know. She started acting all professional and telling me that she was trying to mentor me, etc. I think she had a girlfriend. I was preplexed by the whole situation. The whole thing ended up hurting me really bad. We have not spoken in two years, so we are not even friends. She just started avoiding me and would not tell me if she was attracted to me and what happened between us, although the last time I spoke to her she told me that she could not be my confidante because she is much older than me...then she added that there's many miles between us. I am telling you this because if you think that you would like to pursue something with her, more than friends, then don't let her have all of the power and ask you whatever she wants and not tell you WHY she wants to know. Be more direct than I was in my situation and find out what her sexuality is and make sure she reveals as much information to you as you do with her. If she tells you that she is les or bi then I would let her know that you are attracted to her. Keep us posted!
  15. Cadence308
    worried, I hope that you have fun on your trip to Hawaii. I have to admit that I am apalled by this girl's mother that she knows the situation and seems okay with it. I know if it were me in this girl's situation that my mom would be calling me a homewrecker, tramp, etc. Reading this made me wonder about this girl's family and values. I'm sure you are feeling so much pain and discomfort when you see the two of them out and about and her driving your ex's car. It is just going to take time...we are here for support.
  16. Cadence308
    SO SOON??? He just moved out of your house last week! And he's still married to you! Are you sure that you knew him as well as you thought or is he going through a mid-life crisis? I wish that there was something that I could say or do to make you feel better. Are you sure that you want to hear about everything that your husband is doing with his new girlfriend from mutual friends? It will probably drive you nuts either way. I hope that you are taking care of yourself. You sound like a very strong woman and you've been holding yourself together beautifully from the sounds of it. hugs...and remember we are here for you to vent your frustrations or whatever you want to say about him.
  17. Cadence308
    Before you meet her why don't you suggest going dutch on the first date? Then if one of you decide after you are chatting that you want to pay then you can. That's the nice thing about dating women are, "THERE ARE NO GENDER ROLES OR RULES!" Let us know how it goes!
  18. Cadence308
    I agree with Clementine, "Quit while you are ahead." It is normal to be flattered when someone tells you that they have noticed you and how beautiful they think you are. You have done nothing wrong. You have been feeling giddy because of all of the attention and it's something new. If you really love your husband like you claim then you need to tell her that you are really flattered by her attraction but that you are happily married. I would also stop flirting with her. Somebody is going to get hurt, esp. if she is as into you as she is letting on. If you keep flirting with her even if it's only on AIM then you will be leading her on just to get your ego stroked and I don't think that's fair to her. End the flirting, only talk to her when you run into her casually in the bar, don't become friends with her, and tell her you are married. Simple as that.
  19. Cadence308
    I've found my hand does the job well, just rubbing my favorite spot! It's free, too!
  20. Cadence308
    When I am kissing someone I usually rub the back of their neck. I know I like this done to me.
  21. Cadence308
    This is so sad and awful. He probably never meant to hurt you, but still...he was married and chased another woman. I am so sorry that you ran into the both of them out together. I'm sure it just crushed your heart all over again. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by trying to do things to take your mind off of the pain and it sounds like you have friends that support you. hugs, Ballys
  22. Cadence308
    I know what it feels like to be lonely and think about ending your life. It sounds like you are stuck in your situation because your college isn't much different from high school. There are many places to meet new friends besides just school. Do you ever visit or study at coffee shops? I've met some of my acquantances there. Joining a gym or sports team is a great way to meet people. Just taking a class doing something you love or find enjoyable whether the class is at school or some kind of lifelong learning class. You are allowing yourself to be swept up into your old ways of thinking and doing things. I think it may be good for you to open yourself up and try something that you've always wanted to do. Also, have you thought about talking to someone professionally about the way you are feeling? All colleges and universities offer free or reduced counseling services to students. I love seeing my counselor (first 4 sessions every semester are free and after that it's $10 a session). It's a time when I feel like I'm not judged and I can share my feelings and experiences and get outside feedback. I feel like I still don't have great social support in my life and my therapist has been helping me with that. It's definitely something to look into since you have been feeling so bad.
  23. Cadence308
    If you used meth it can totally f*** up your baby. Other drugs like marijuana are harmful, but probably have a greater chance of doing less damage. Please just call your doctor if you are too embarrassed to go in. Your doctor will probably have tests that he/she will want to do to check certain things. You really need to do this for your child.
  24. Cadence308
    I am telling you this based on my own experiences. My older woman crush that didn't work out started pretending like we had a mentoring relationship. She wanted to help me with my career and graduate school. I could have accepted her offer to help me and remained in contact with her, but I chose not to because it was causing me so much pain. Things between her and I were already so personal. She knew how I based my relationships, about my dating and sex life, about my family, etc. Like I would have ever been comfortable having her as a mentor. I think it was a cover-up because her gf wanted to know who was calling her, etc. I couldn't have the kind of relationship with her that I wanted and I could see how the situation could have just caused me more pain. I would have been using the mentorship as an excuse to be in contact with her, hoping that eventually something would happen between her and I. This is very similar to your situation. I don't recommend using the friendship as a way to get closer because it almost never works out that way.
  25. Cadence308
    I think you should write the letter only if it will make you feel better. I can tell that you want more with her than just friends, though. The letter makes it sound like you want to be just friends. Can you really do that? Just accept being friends with her, knowing that she is dating and sleeping someone else? Can you really just be a friend and listen to her talk about how in love with this other person she is and the details? I know I couldn't do that if it were my love interest. That's why I recommend no contact with her. If you can't have the kind of relationship you want with someone you are only going to remain frustrated, resentful, and wanting. Save your time and energy on someone who wants the same thing from you that you want from them You are resenting your friend because you are in love with her and have gone beyond the boundaries of friendship.
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