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Cadence308

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Everything posted by Cadence308

  1. Cadence308
    I agree that most come to this site because of a problem and that's why it seems no one on this site has sex or at least good sex. I don't know if people are prudish. There are still STDs and pregnancy issues for anyone having sex...better to be safe than sorry!
  2. Cadence308
    I find your comments both insightful and interesting. My last roommate was working on a Ph.D. in bioengineering and had a double major in philosophy and bioengineering from U of CA at Berkeley. She said during her undergraduate career there were hardly any women in engineering and in some classes she was one woman out of 3-4. One of her undergraduate professors was male and she said that he totally catered to the women to make sure that they understood the concepts and did everything he could to help them succeed. I think that engineering, mathematics, and some of the harder sciences, and even just pursuing academics in general have been dominated by men and now things are changing. Some men are retaliating against this because they feel that somehow it's taking away from something they feel is theirs. Women are also making it harder for other women because if they can't be a man or as a good as a man then they want to be the best woman at it. Women are also supposed to be passive and not aggressive in personality or in their careers. Some men find it threatening and many women do, too. I don't think I would have been very nice to the male student who was irate about women talking about womens' issues. I would have told him that he was eavesdropping on a private conversation. I feel that women have every right to talk about obstacles to obtaining an advanced degree or balancing work and family or even working in a predominantly male field.
  3. Cadence308
    I have to admit that I am shocked by your title of your thread. Well, if you keep hanging out in the bars you will find someone to lose your virginity to, that's for sure. They always say, "Drink till they're cute."
  4. Cadence308
    A compliment is a compliment and people should smile and appreciate them when they get one. However, if a person is always flirting, always complimenting someone, and being attentive I would think that they were interested in something more, too. I think there's a line between just being complimentary and actually leading someone on. I have no idea why someone would do that. Maybe they need the attention, want reciprocated flattery, ego boost...
  5. Cadence308
    Try a penis pump!
  6. Cadence308
    Get tested since the last time you had sex was unprotected. Sounds like you don't know where your last partner has been or what he's been doing. Do not have unprotected sex, as you don't know what the outcome may be.
  7. Cadence308
    I second this.
  8. Cadence308
    I can tell that you are feeling a lot of pain. I'm sure since you and your ex are still friends it just hurts worse. Have you thought about going through a period of no contact with your ex? Just to give yourself some time and space from her to allow yourself to grieve? You need to focus on yourself right now. Allow yourself to feel the pain and the rejection. Do something for yourself that you have always wanted to do like take up yoga or pottery. This will help you to get out of the house and meet new people and at least serve as a positive distraction. Take care of you right now.
  9. Cadence308
    Hi welcome to enotalone. As another thread said...it's only been three months since she left her husband and the two of you hooked up. She's probably emotionally drained. It is a good idea to let her make the moves and let her meet you half-way, instead of calling her all of the time. Give her the space she needs and see what happens. GL!
  10. Cadence308
    Thanks for the update avman. I was disturbed to read that thread that this young woman had lost her life. I am relieved to know that it was not true.
  11. Cadence308
    Does he masturbate too much? Maybe he's gotten too used to the way his hand feels.
  12. Cadence308
    Hi, I am glad that I read your thread. You sound very lonely. I am 28 yrs old and came to enotalone about 2 years ago because I was confused about my sexuality. I was also a virgin. Through a lot of converation on this forum and meeting other gay women I realized that I was gay. I had my first serious relationship with anyone and it was with a woman this past summer. It didn't last too long for many reasons. I think some of my threads are still on here somewhere. It was the first person that I have made love with and I felt comfortable with her. I don't think that you should give it up to a man because you cannot find a woman that you are in love with. I don't recommend meeting women in bars. I met my gf on link removed. Have you tried internet dating? I can certainly understand your embarrassment about being gay and also about being a bit older and still a virgin. I am sure that you will meet someone who will be thrilled to be your first lover. Do you have other gay friends? Don't they have friends that they can introduce you to?
  13. Cadence308
    Since I'm single now I find that self-stimulation releases a lot of pent up energy when I'm feeling horny. Then I'm just taken care of and I don't feel horny any more...unless it's that time of the month, then I'm a bit hornier. Since you and your gf are both waiting until marriage, maybe masturbate. That might help some. If you still find that you are lusting after your gf and want more than she is willing to give physically then maybe it's time to move on.
  14. Cadence308
    Sounds like she may have seen some of your internet history when you were together. Sounds like she knows your passwords, etc. and most likely signed onto your accounts. Doesn't sound too smart to let her see your passwords when you were together, esp. knowing that you had some things saved that were gay related. I would change your passwords! If you want to be with her, ask her what went wrong between the both of you.
  15. Cadence308
    I'm sorry that you lost this friend because of your intense feelings. It sounds like she was sorry to lose your friendship and that may have been why she contacted you...maybe she was hoping that you were over the intense romantic feelings and could be friends again. I would not ask her straight if she had feelings for you. It seems she would have said or done something by this point if her feelings had been mutual. Good luck and keep us posted!
  16. Cadence308
    It sounds like you might be in a rush to tell everyone and if you are wondering if you are then you most likely are. If you are going crazy because you really want someone to know then I would start by choosing the friend who already has a gay or lesbian friend and seems okay with it. This is what I did when I first came out. Before you come out to anyone you need to feel like it is safe to do so. If people can't accept you then they are not true friends. It's been 2.5 years since I came out to someone. There's only a few friends that know about me. There's a few that I'm thinking about telling. It's a very private and personal thing to tell someone, esp. if they have known you as being straight all of your life. If you do decide to come out I would just let the person know that there's something that you want to tell them. It's easier over the phone. lol Then I would say, "I've come to the realization that I'm bisexual." Then wait for their response.
  17. Cadence308
    LOL I second this. You say you are ready for sex, but all you talk about is how you aren't getting it and how you want it. Why don't you try viewing sex as an emotional experience when you are in a committed, trusting relationship with another person? When you think you have found that then try saying you are ready to have sex. Being ready for sex means more than just the ability to get it up...you have to think about the other person and the repercussions that could come from having sex like STDs and an unplanned pregnancy.
  18. Cadence308
    1. Getting fingered does nothing for a menstrual period, besides making the person fingering have bloody fingers. 2. I don't know if it's normal to have someone stop when you are about to cum. I suppose if she has not ever played with herself down there and is not used to the sensations when you are about to cum, then I guess she might stop you. If you are hitting her g-spot it can make a woman feel like she has to pee and she may stop you if you keep hitting that. 3. Quite, honestly I am a woman and could care less about penetration with fingers when I'm making love. What gets me hot is kissing (gets me soooooo wet), little caresses all over, and love to have my clit rubbed. Sometimes talking can be a turn on if the person I'm with is telling me how much they want me and how beautiful I am or how wet I am. Try those things.
  19. Cadence308
    I think sex should contribute equally to other aspects of the relationship such as spiritual, intellectual, social, etc., so maybe about one-sixth of a relationship. I think it's over-rated.
  20. Cadence308
    I'm glad that you had a great time! That is funny about the other guy trying to steal a dance with you from your date. It's also a bonus that he didn't rape your face! lol
  21. Cadence308
    Sue sounds very interested in spending time with you and getting to know you. Only she can answer if she is interested in you as a person or just as a man who can save her from her marriage. I am not going to lecture you on pursuing a married woman since that is not what you are asking.
  22. Cadence308
    It sounds like she's probably busy and doesn't want a relationship because of that. She may have felt like you were demanding of her time when you were upset when she hung out with her friends and didn't see you. She may have felt like you being needy and demanding very early on in a relationship and that could have turned her off. I know that's happened to me before in relationships, where the other person comes on really strong and is demanding of my time when I have other things to do or other friends to see. I would just give her a couple of days. I wouldn't act too upset about your conversation with her. See if she contacts you, then maybe try to make a date for this weekend and see what she says. If she's too busy then it may be time to move on.
  23. Cadence308
    It's normal for women who date women to not want to be around men on dates and the thought of kissing men or being with them sexually is repulsive. Your friend is confused with her sexuality. She wants to be straight, feels like she should date men, but when she does she is repulsed and she doesn't know why. That is totally normal for a lesbian. She sounds a lot like how I was before I came out to myself. However, I had kissed a few more men than she has. But, things never went beyond that. I was comfortable on dates just talking, but never if they wanted to continue seeing me, or if they talked about sex, or asked me about it (I had never been with a man), or if they wanted something romantic with me. I didn't get it because I thought I was straight. lol Your friend is totally waiting to come out of the closet. I think you should ask her if she's resolved her confusion and start the conversation that way. Ask her if she would ever date a woman or if she's thought about being with a woman sexually. Now might not be the best time to admit your feelings for her since she is confused. However, it's only a matter of time before she acknowledges her feelings (it sounds like). It helps people to talk about their confusion with their sexuality, esp. if the other person is not homophobic. I do not recommend getting drunk and making out if you want to have a long term romantic relationship with her.
  24. Cadence308
    It's normal to be scared of losing a friendship when you have more intimate thoughts and feelings about someone. That is the risk that you have to take if you want the relationship to turn into more. Next time it's just the two of you and you are talking I would bring up the sexuality issue with her. You have already laid a foundation for that kind of talk since you acknowledged your bisexual identity to her in the past and she admitted that she has been confused about her sexuality. I would just say, "Remember when you said that you were confused about your sexuality? Have you sorted that out? Have you done anything about it? Have you ever kissed a woman?" Just ask some questions about it to get her to open up and see where the conversation leads. Be prepared to share the same information with her and maybe it may lead to you confessing your feelings for her.
  25. Cadence308
    Glad to hear that you are rolling on the old helmet when you want to play! Better to be safe than sorry. It takes women longer to warm up for sex than it does a guy. It sounds like she is not as turned on as you are, so her body is not as prepared for sex as yours is. Women like A LOT of touching and kissing, and rubbing downstairs before any kind of penetration. I would suggest doing these things before penetration. Have you tried going down on her and getting her to orgasm before vaginal sex? Or even rubbing her down there with lots of kissing so that she gets nice and wet and hopefully even gets off before intercourse? When she is really turned on she will be really wet and she will open up. KY jelly is also a good lubricant.
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