aviatorguy

Synteresis for what its worth, go back and read my post, never said that, does not much matter per my new post, but just wanted to set the record straight.

Hi All, Thank you everyone for the valuable comments. They are appreciated. I know I set myself up for some abuse including we were both married but I wanted honest feedback. So, based on your feedback and continuing to think this through, my current perceptions of what is going on is that she is interesting in getting to know me, now is she "into" me, no i don't think so in that way. I think starlight worded it best and others hinting at it that she is trying to see how "marketable" she is if she were to leave. Good catch. However, if we were both single, I believe the answer to "is she into me" would be yes. There is an attraction there, that much I know. Again, it doesn't much matter as we are married at this point. She is a cool person and just being friends is nice. Please continue to share your comments regarding my post as the information is appreciated. I would also be interested to know how people would have replied if I mentioned we were both single. Again, does not matter just curious. Thanks again.

Sorry Up Front For Being Long Winded. To set the stage, both myself and the lady I will call Sue are both in our mid 30’s, married, she has two young kids, I have none. I need help in understanding her interest level. Please note, I am not looking for advice if I should or should not pursue the situation at this time. I am well aware of the controversy this type of issue presents. I started a new job two months ago, and was introduced to Sue my first day. She was nice and what I would consider attractive, not a super model but attractive. I did not have much contact with her my first month. Just an occasional smile, hello, how was the weekend when passing in the hallway. During the start of my second month, I started to have more interactions with Sue as I was required to provide some training. I was in several meetings with Sue both in larger group settings and once or twice 1-1. Before or after each meeting, we would chat about the weekend, work, and even got into our families a little bit etc. Again, not flirtatious and the conversation would last 5-10 minutes. 2 weeks ago we talked for about an hour discussing work, family, how cool it would be to be back in college to go out drinking and touched on the challenging marriages we both were having. She then said her and a small group go out for drinks every once in a while and that she would let me know when so I could join. I asked if anyone goes out for lunch which she replied no, but that her and I should sometime. At this stage, I will admit, I was thinking she was interested a little. The morning of the lunch outing, she stopped by my office to confirm and set a time. She asked how I was doing. I told her I was good but a bit stressed She said she has issues at home and understands being stressed. We agreed to discuss more over lunch. Being somewhat shy, I was not sure how to take the conversation personal. So, at first we talked about office gossip stuff and then she took the conversation more personal, asking me how long I was married and if I have figured out this marriage thing. I responded, indicating I had no a clue on the married challenges and I returned the question to her. She told me she and her husband fight a lot, and just got off a week worth of not talking with each other, explained in great detail the reasons why they fight and how mad she gets at him being gone, not helping with the kids, etc. She then told me she doubts he is her soul mate and has had serious thoughts about moving on and/or being with someone else. I too doubt I am with my soul mate and have had thoughts about moving on. We sharred some eye contact and we both really smiled and laughed alot. We continued our chat for the rest of the hour exchanging stories and concerns with our marriages. I did not provide alot of details as compared to her. I was surprised with how much she shared with me and it really made me think. I have only known her for basicaly a few weeks. I paid for lunch and she said she would pay for our next lunch outing. I should also point out that I have never seen Sue with her hair down, she always wears it up but the day we went out for lunch, her hair was down and she seemed more dressed up than usual. We exchanged a few basic emails the next day, I told her I enjoyed lunch and to let me know if next week or whenever would work again for lunch. She replied that lunch would be great and she would “schedule” something. Again, the little inside joke about formally scheduling. But, I don’t mind her poking fun at me. We had limited contact the next few days. I stop down to say hello today, we chatted for 15 minutes. If I buy into the non verbal clue stuff, she did smile as did I, we did have what I would call several 5-15 sec direct and in-depth uninterrupted eye contacting stares while still talking (the ones which afterward you are thinking-what was that all about). She did cross her arms a few times but then show her palms... So, based on all of this is she interested? Does she want to continue to talk and get to know each other? At times I think yes, but then we go a day or two without talking much. Why is that? Is she maybe confused by all of this, not sure what is going on in her own head as well? I am not innocent here and not trying in imply I have no interest. I suspect if we continue to do lunch etc, we will continue to share stories and really get to know each other if you know what I mean. But again, please provide feedback on the interest level. Again, just looking for opinions if she is interested. No clue at all if I would persue, please be honest regardless the interest level.