Cadence308

I agree that you NEED to tell your doctor about it so that he/she can look for signs of damage. I wouldn't waste any time letting your doctor know.

I have to agree with other posters that you will have to distance yourself to get over her. You will know when you are truly over her when you can finally see her and not feel the way that you are feeling now. This usually happens when you fall for someone else. Congrats on admitting your feelings for her to her. It's sad that she does not feel the same way. I think most people know how this feels.

A woman will touch someone she is attracted to when she speaks to them. A pat on the leg, arm, or back, or a light touch usually means she digs the other person. Flirting, smiling, teasing, excited to see another person are all signs.

I am not sure it's smart for both of you to even be working at the same place since you are breaking up and still obviously have feelings for each other. I can see that this is killing you. I don't know what advice to give you except suggest professional counseling...someone who can help you sort things out and suggest a plan for getting over this woman. I think you two could be together if she weren't married. She sounds like the type of person who wants her cake and wants to eat it too. She loves you, but not enough to leave her husband and abandon the safety and privilege of leading a heterosexual lifestyle.

Since you are thinking of her in sexual ways and wanting to be with her in every way then I think you want her. However, she's straight. Maybe just enjoy being friends with her and enjoying the good thing you have with your gf whom you've been with for 4 months.

I remember your story. I have been hurt by a woman. I don't know if you read my story that was on this forum (I had it deleted). I was in love with a much older woman, things got personal and intense between us, etc. I think she had a gf and one time I called her house and I'm sure her gf was there because she started acting differently to me. Then all of a sudden she wouldn't see me, talk to me, etc. It really crushed me. I felt used, led on, rejected, etc. I never found out how she felt about me, why she hurt me, if she just wanted an affair with me or what the deal was. It seems like you were there for this woman when she needed it and she enjoyed that closeness. She confused you because you were both so close, but at the same time she was telling you that she only wanted to be your friend. So in a way, she led you on because her actions and words were completely different. Now she's in a relationship with another woman and you are completely jealous and hurt because you thought that things were going somewhere. Maybe it's time to ask her to move out so that you can move on. I don't see how you can get past her when she lives with you. At least she does pay rent. I'm glad for you that you had some sense to make her do that and not live off of you for free. It is possible for her to some day want you. No one knows exactly what the future holds. However, I do not recommend waiting for that day because it might not happen and then you will have missed so many opportunities to have something with someone else who loves you and wants to be with you. You deserve to be happy and to have someone reciprocate those feelings.

Well, since she knew that you were bi-sexual it sounds to me like she led you on because she wanted to experiment and nothing more. I think that people who are homosexual or bi-sexual have to be careful when someone knows and should find out exactly where the other person is in their sexuality because it's easy to get led on and used. Instead of getting drunk and making out with her when she wants it and sending her emails when you are inebriated, why don't you try talking to her about your feelings in private and face to face? Then you will have your questions answered and know where you stand so if this happens again you won't end up getting more hurt?

I get really hot when I cuddle with someone else. It doesn't usually bother me too much unless I'm trying to sleep. My ex gf and I would adjust by holding hands, or having our hand on each others backs or legs. We adjusted. If you have a fast metabolism, which you probably do because you are a guy and 22 yrs old, plus guys have more muscle mass which gives off more heat, then your gf may be getting hot. However, if this is a recent thing like RayKay mentioned then it may be an excuse not to be close.

Your heart is breaking. I feel so bad that this is happening to you. You deserve better than you are getting in your relationship and I think it's smart to not wait around to see "what happens" between your husband and this girl. He only wants a separation so that he is free to pursue her.

No contact with someone is the best remedy to get over someone. She sounds like she may be confused about her sexuality. Do you consider yourself a lesbian? What orientation does she consider herself? If she considers herself straight and she knows that you identify as lesbian then she may very well be enjoying the attention you give her, but may not intend to act on anything. Before you do the no contact thing with her and end up regretting it, why don't you find out exactly where you stand with her if you are that interested and I'm assuming that you are since you are posting on this thread. Tell her how you feel about her and how it makes you feel when she talks about male crushes. GL!

It sounds like things got messy and I'm not sure a mock relationship is the way to go to try to salvage anything with her or pay anyone else back. Maybe she is going along with it to see if there's anything about it that she likes, but when the joke is over, then what? You still have your crush on her and everyone else knows that it was a joke. Maybe keep your distance until a better opportunity presents itself?

This is a tough one because she's your friend and your loyalties are to her, not him. She loves her husband and she may not believe you. If you want to keep her friendship then I would just have a word with her husband and tell him what you think about what he did and tell him that your loyalties are with her and ask him not to go it again and even threaten that if he does it again you will tell his wife.

It just depends on the woman. Most females I know enjoy it and enjoy giving it in fun places (i.e., the care in broad daylight driving down the interstate).

The poster has already said that this 19 year old woman is very beautiful internally and externally, as well as educated and well off. I could see why any single man would be interested in her. The point is that he is married and should be committed to his wife, not out pursuing someone else. He is hurting his wife as she is watching all of this going on. In the end I think that all three people will be very hurt because this man did not keep his distance the way that one should when in a committed, intimate relationship.

I would date someone who wasn't out of the closet because I'm not out either! I guess it also goes back to what it means to be out of the closet. Some people are out to everyone, including co-workers, family, and friends. Some are only out to close friends. One can't deny that there are certain privileges associated with being heterosexual and I can understand not wanting to be discriminated against based on my sexuality. Also, since one could never guess that I prefer women and I'm very feminine, etc. I like to challenge people who bash homosexuals by playing devil's advocate with them because chances are high that they assume I prefer men. For instance, this past weekend my Mormon roommate was telling me how sick gays are and how her best friend in high school fell in love with her and told her that she was in love with her. We ended up in a debate about homosexuality. She was telling me that man and woman being together is nature's way. I said, "Not exactly. It's been shown that many species will mate with members of the same sex."

This is really sad and you seem like such a nice woman who does not deserve to have her husband running around on her. I can't believe that this has been going on and you didn't say something sooner. It made me read some stuff about affairs online. This is what one website defined as an affair: relationship experts maintain that any intimate activity between two people that breaches the trust of a partner constitutes an affair. Everything that your husband is doing with this girl constitutes an affair. One article talked about how the person having an affair is often in denial about the level of intimacy in the affair, brushing the person off as a colleague or a friend, which is what your husband is doing with this girl. I think you did the right thing by snooping around in his emails. Now you are in the loop of what has been going on and you were able to confront your husband about it. Have you thought about discussing this with someone professionally? I don't think that I would be going to the theatre and dinner with everyone to celebrate her birthday. I think that you should vocalize this with your husband and DEMAND that he not go and NOT see her any more if he still loves you and is still committed to you. One website gave this advice: Tips to help avoid affairs Be open - honesty is the key to avoiding affairs. Share any temptations with your partner and agree to support each other. Be close - build and maintain emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship. The closer you are, the stronger you are. Be smart - don't slip into complacency: everyone is vulnerable to temptation. Be alert - if you find yourself feeling attracted to someone, take action to avoid getting any closer. Behave - if you'd describe yourself as a natural flirt, remember: if you don't want to get burned, don't play with fire.

There is no way to get rid of them for sure. They are viral, so they are highly contagious. You most likely got them when you were 2 because you were drinking or eating off of the same utensils as your family member who had them. There is no vaccine against them currently available, although I know that researchers are working on it and have a vaccine that they are conducting studies on that would prevent the spread of herpes simplex I.

It sounds to me like you have herpes virus in the mouth and lips. Ask your girlfriend if she ever gets cold sores. They are highly contagious if you have mouth to mouth contact (kissing) or share food and drink. It sounds to me like you are having your first outbreak.

Your first entry would be easier to read and you would get more replies if it were broken up into paragraphs. I kept losing my place as I was scrolling down. I have noticed that many lesbian relationships are as you describe, ups and downs, break-ups, and make-ups. Your friend seems very confused about her sexuality, but until she decides to get some help or deal with it she will continually be in and out of your life because you allow her to be, as another poster said. You are giving her what she is not getting in her marriage. If she is choosing to stay married then she is cheating on her husband and that is not fair to him, either. End things with her, grieve for her, and move on. You also deserve better...you deserve someone who wants to be with you, who is not ashamed to be with you, and someone who is not in a committed relationship with someone else. Keep us posted!

Since it was your first time meeting your gf face to face and you already moved onto a whole new level it might have been too much, too soon for her. She wanted to please you with the bj part, but doing sexual things for the first time can be awkward for both parties. Going down on someone can be tiresome and she was probably getting tired...it takes practice. Maybe the 2nd night she just wanted to be close to you and to see if you still liked her without being overly physical. It really sounds like she wants to take things slowly and you should respect that if you like her as much as you seem like you do. Pre-cum is normal. If someone was sucking during oral and they stop it's probably because they got tired.

Your thread is so sad. I agree with one poster that your ex wife was not the best thing that ever happened to you, your kids were! I'm glad that you have a therapist to help you through these tough spots. I hope that you can get over this grieving and move on and be able to spend time with your kids and not think of your ex. You deserve to be happy with someone who loves you and wants to be with you. Take care of yourself and keep up the exercising and eating healthy and some woman will notice how great you are and hopefully you can feel love again!

What your boyfriend is doing most would consider cheating. With internet availability cheating online seems to be a reoccurring theme with relationships I've noticed on this website. Even though your boyfriend says that he feels disgusted with himself for doing this and he won't make these calls again, I think he's saying that to make you feel better because he knows it's what you want to hear. It sounds like he may have porn addiction. Maybe someone else on this forum can give yuo advice on dealing with someone with a porn addiction, as this is beyond anything I know anything about...

Wow, UT, I had no idea that you met your lover on enotalone! That is awesome! Congrats to you and gemincer! Let us know how the meeting goes...

I don't know many women who are or would be for anal sex. Most view it as an exit and not an entrance. I'm sure it would be painful. Your best bet would be another man who enjoys the same thing.

If he is flirty and tells everyone else how beautiful and special they are then it's not anything that special. However, if it seems like he's extra attentive to you then he probably wants to be more. Ask him to coffee and see what develops.