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About Me

  1. My senior cat, Shay ,needs to have all four canine teeth removed. He has stomatitis caused by an auto immune disease. Basically he is allergic to plaque that forms on teeth and his teeth themselves. It has a pretty hefty price tag of $2000. So in November is going to have all his four canines removed. 😢
  2. I posted not too long ago about my husband's central core disease and the difficulty we were having within our marriage regarding his treatment and medication. Everything has gotten a bit better during the last few weeks, in part because I've been able to get our attention better focused on our 6 month old daughter who likely has CCD as well. My husband had a doctor's appointment last week and his doctor increased his Tramadol (Ultram) and Vicodin. He is now taking 6 Tramadol (50mg) per day and 3 Vicodin (10mg). She wasn't comfortable raising the Vicodin anymore at this time. She had doubled the strength in October, so I can understand this decision. I hope that this might curb my husband's need to make frequent trips to his mom's house, but in all honesty, he was already taking more than 3 per day before the dose was changed. Anyhow, my husband is very eager to get a medical marijuana card. It is legal in our state. His mom has a card for the same disease. He sees the same doctor as his mom and obtaining the card should not be a problem. I have real reservations about the card, and I'm hoping that I can get some additional perspective here. Let me just state my perspective... I am very much in support of medical marijuana, but do have concerns as this relates to our family. Many individuals are pro-choice, who wouldn't consider abortion for themselves. I guess I'm in that category here. I am a cancer survivor who understands first-hand the use of medical marijuana in that application. Although I did not partake, I was one of the few in my "chemo group" who wasn't using. If I had needed it badly, I probably would have. In that instance, the use is shorter term. The Pros: * I've wanted my husband to find more effective treatment, he is convinced this is it. * It could allow my husband to be home with us more, i.e. not out getting pills. * I want my husband to feel well. * I want him to enjoy being a dad. The Cons: * Family history of addiction. Parents are users. Both siblings are serious addicts. * Previous concerns regarding his use of Vicodin. * Everyone in his family smokes. He smoked with his parents as a teenager. I believe that he would still enjoy smoking recreationally, and really gave it up to date me (he would give you other reasons). I definitely do not smoke. * Daughter is likely affected. Is this the best treatment? Is it the treatment I would want for her? Obviously not as a child, but do we want her to believe that this is THE way to feel good? That was the message my husband got from his mom throughout life. * State law does not require employers to accommodate with medical marijuana patients - meaning, if my husband fails a drug test, he will be fired. He works as a carpenter, and random drug tests are administered monthly. * I don't want to be married to a stoner. While the medical use is legal in our state, someone who is impaired, is still impaired. Legal or not, I want our kids to have a dad who isn't high. * As with the Vicodin, my husband says this will make him happy. When he starts taking about meds making him happier, I start to worry. I'm eager to hear the perspective of others here. I really want what is best for our family.
  3. I had my doctor appt yesterday and he set up a MRI for my lower and upper back. Keep in mind here that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Scoliosis and Retrolisthesis. The doctor said that due to my Arthritis that I have Degenerative Disc Disease. I am kind of upset because it is just ANOTHER thing to add on to the many problems with my body! I am only 23 and I have a condition that my dad got when he was 50. 3 of my dad's disc are already pretty much gone, is this what I get to look forward to??? It is really upsetting and I just needed to vent. Anyone that can tell me what to look forward to? Also the doctor set up an appt to do a Medial Branch Blocks on both sides of my lower spine. has anyone had this done to them?
  4. im an 18 year old male who was in an accident and needed a root canal on one front tooth and implant on the other front tooth and a root canal on the next tooth to that. All three will eventually be crowned. I came accross information on a number of different websites (cant post urls) but a clip is here. (There are charts i found that display the following information as well). "Of equal interest is the relationship of root filled teeth to traditional Chinese medicine and body energies. All teeth are linked to the body via acupuncture meridians and having a root filled tooth, a large amalgam filling, a crown, or anything that is not compatible with the body, on a meridian may set up an interference field, blocking or altering the energy flow ( the chi ') passing through this meridian and cause a disease in an organ or body function remote from the tooth. For example a front upper incisor is on the Kidney/ Bladder meridians and having a root treated tooth here may cause gynecological problems, kidney problems, impotence, and sterility if you follow a Chinese medicine theme. These teeth also relate to spinal segments and joints, the front incisor relates to the coccyx and posterior knee and to L2, L3, S3, and 6." also will the crowns look okay assuming my dentist is qualified? thanks a lot
  5. Just got this idea for a fiction book. It would be nothing but a list of all the opening messages that the main character, a man, has sent to different women over a 33-year period on a (fictitious) online dating site. No responses are printed (after all; there are never any; this is online dating The main character has, in fact, begun to use these messages as a sort of anonymous journal with very short entries. But each one is addressed to someone's username and makes references to something in her profile (thereby providing some humorous references to the kinds of things people on online dating sites tend to write in their profiles), and ends with a "confident" ending like "Write me back! Look forward to hearing from you." As the book progresses, the guy goes through different "phases" as to the kinds of messages he writes. Sometimes he goes through negative phases and writes insulting messages to people over a period of several weeks. Sometimes he flips the other way and tries to "win them over with kindness". He's always sort of trying to elicit a response, but at the same time knows it will never come and lets loose with the occasional deep personal tidbit. As he tries to be "spontaneous" in his messages, he will naturally mention various things presently going on in his life. The reader can learn about his backstory, interests, family events, triumphs and tragedies; etc. You will see him go through personal phases, life phases and changes of interests. For example, at one point you will realize that he has caught a serious disease, because he starts to include a sentence in all his messages like "In the spirit of honesty, I should inform you that I have cancer, but my doctor believes there is a likely chance that I can beat this. Here's hoping". In future messages you will find out the progression and end result of his struggle against the disease. Of course, over a 33-year period, there will be many changes to the dating website itself: new features, new search mechanisms, some of which he likes and some which he doesn't. You'll find out about them by reading his messages (e.g. "Please respond via email; I have an older computer which does not work with this site's brainwave thing - and I don't think that's real communication anyway.") - or something more realistic. What do you think?
  6. We also found the mom and dad rabbit but both were dead along with 5-6 other babies. We have no clue what to do or how to care for them! We put them in a box to get them away from the dead ones in case they have disease and we the lady at the pet store said to put some lettuce/carrot shavings in there but it doesn't seem like they are old enough to eat. We have no clue how old they are. We called a local rabbit rescue organization but they've haven't called us back. We're afraid to touch them incase they have a disease or anything. And so far we haven't been able to find anyone that can take them to the vet or anything. Any suggestions on what I should do with them?
  7. When they visited last year and his dad fell through the shower wall ( he has Parkinson’s and dementia) and physically unstable and now his mom requires a cane as well ..... He agreed with me it is dangerous at our house for them . Our only bathroom is at the top of steep stairs. Yet he made a plan AGAIN for them to come behind my back with his sister. There is really no advice to give because my husband will just do what he damned well pleases when it comes to these people. I can’t stand them. They are like a cankerous disease but I tolerate them because he loves them. Seriously, though I could spit nails I am so angry. we are united front unless it comes to these idiots . I told him you are taking both these people to the bathroom and right back down the stairs holding them every second or I am driving away and I mean it . I will drive away and drive to my mother’s three hours away and spend the entire weekend and I don’t give one rat’s bottom if it’s rude . So you handle your people .
  8. im not kidding or joking in a slight of way i wish the light would fade and end this day life aint never been a mystery but more of a fact that i would never make it past the time which lapsed it eats at my heart while im still and it grinds on my teeth well i move its like a disease that is a pain and rips you apart and in the end no one will have any disregard but for the fact that i am me and life took everything that i could see
  9. When me and my boyfriend got together we had a very sexual relationship. And when I got pregnant alot of things changed, because after the first trimester I wasn't really interested in sex, Not 100% sure why, but I also had a lot of problems with my pregnancy, and so we didn't have sex very often. Now our daughter is a year old. And everynight we have sex the next day its like all he does is pick a fight with me. Also I have graves disease just found out so I have had problems with less sex intrest. And lots of tiredness. I was sleeping alot before i found out it was graves disease so i didn't feel good and havent gotten back into shape since our duaghter was born. So my stomach and hips and legs are still a bit chunky. And we had sex last night and all day he has been picking fits. He told me i looked nice. But hes not happy with the way i am. He made a comment that i should start raking laps around the house to help shrink my stomach. He told me he worries about my health. But doesn't take the disease into consideration. He told me that he wasnt going to tell me i look beautiful or pretty because he didnt want to encourage me to stay the wah i am. All of these things after we had sex last night. Literally ever thing that a women already thinks to herself as it is just got thrown at you by the one person who is supposed to support you and live you no mater what. And on a normal day this doesn't happen, it just had to be the day after we had sex, which in my opinion was really good. So i dont understand why this is happening it seems like the fights get worse and worse everytime we have sex. What do i do, i need advice i don't understand qhy hes like this. He made me cry today with every horrible thing he said which i tell myself day in and out alone. I don't need his help to feel like crap about my body now compared to before my pregnancy. Like what do i do to make this stop. Why does he pick foghts and say mean things? Why dows he snap. Its all only after a night of sex
  10. 14 months after break up and 7 months no contact. We were together for 3.5 years and were living together. It ended pretty sour. There's a post somewhere with the last text I sent him, which looking back was melodramatic and spiteful and not even well written, but my pain and agony came across loud and clear. I was doing pretty well for a while. I've turned my life around. But recently (the past few weeks), I have been thinking about him a lot. Part of this is that I can still see his posts on Facebook and Instagram. I have deleted him as a friend, but find myself checking his feed anyway. I am some what lonely, but am not interested in dating still. I've been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and am focusing 100% of my energy and time on healing and recovering and hopefully putting the disease into remission. I dream of contacting him to "clear the air", but my worst fear is that he won't respond or won't care. It also pains me to think that he doesn't ever think about me anymore. He's moved on and is living his own life. He travels a lot and has a lot of fun, so there's that too - I am jealous of his ability to move around and have new experiences, while I am staying put (although I would love to be taking more trips and doing new things)...I am doing so much hard work on myself to heal and over come a lot of my issues. I guess I'm not really asking a question, just venting and feeling sad about the whole thing all over again. One day I feel fine about it. The next day, I go through every emotion when I think of it: sad, angry, lonely, jealous, resolve, acceptance, longing and missing him and on and on. It changes every day almost. Wondering if it will ever go away at this point - I know it will - I just didn't think it would take this long. I'm in therapy, thank goodness. Any input regarding moving on, acceptance, being more present and even possibly contacting him (would this make me feel better, even if he didn't respond? Maybe.)
  11. I have a cat named Michael. He'll be 6 this year in June. He got out last Thursday (February 22nd) and I'm writing this over a week later (March 2nd). I know that cats like to wander and that most people wouldn't be too concerned yet. The problem is he's not a very healthy cat. He has FIV and a very weak immune system not to mention kidney disease. He really shouldn't be outside where I can't keep an eye on him. I feel like I've tried everything to get him to come home, I put his litter out first, then some of his dry food a couple days later, and a few days ago I set out a can of tuna to see if he would come. I've walked around the block multiple times calling his name and I check around my yard multiple times a day for him. Nothing has worked. I've talked to neighbors. Also my neighborhood is really small, there's my street and another street behind me but other than that we're surrounded by busy main roads and a shopping plaza behind us. My cat doesn't like noise of course and I've never seen him near the main roads or near the shopping plaza so I don't think he's gone too far. My mom believes he sat down for a nap in someone's garage or something and got closed in and that's why he hasn't come home yet but I'm afraid that he left to find somewhere to pass away. I love this cat more than anything and I'm just losing hope that he'll ever come back. I guess I just want to know if I should stay positive or accept what probably happened?
  12. Ok I'm 45, at 45 my grandpa died, my cousin died, my dad at 45 had a triple by pass and lived for 18 years. My health though still good is starting to change. Cholesterol borderline high, I have 3 months to reduce it or start expensive meds. I'm back on WW. But I'm seeing the signs if how I'll die. It's making me depressed. I've talked to my therapist about it, he said focus on the changes you can make. So I'm trying to, but I'm fighting a strong family history of heart disease. I now know cancer or heart disease will get me. One day. I've had yet another cancer scare this year. I feel like i have an expiration date 10 to 15 years. I'm ok with it in some ways but have my reservations.
  13. Hi all, I’ve been in a relationship for 1 year and 3/4’s for most of it has been good, we’ve both been happy. I’m 24 and she’s 23. However she has a arthritis condition (I knew this from the start) and has developed worse over the course of us seeing each other. She has become more and more tired, not wanting to do things and what feels like every free second I have wanting to spend time with me but we don’t really do a lot and it’s getting very boring. I offer suggestions of what to do whilst we’re around each other and it either gets shrugged off or she’s too tired. I do have feelings for her and my mind says stay but I do feel that I’m becoming more of a Care’er than a boyfriend. I would feel awful if I did leave her as she has lost a lot of confidence since the increase of arthritis as it’s been a long time since she’s felt well. Nothing extreme but it is a hard day to day disease and she has said that other people in the past have left her because she’s ‘too much’. I don’t want to let her down like that as in the beginning we clicked so much and it was great however I just don’t think I can take much more of this boring state. Help?
  14. So...I am single again after two years. I am not quite ready to start dating, but I am thinking of trying the online thing in about 2 months or so... Here is my problem. I have NO breasts. I am not talking about small breasts, I mean NONE...I am a 34AA. I do not wish to get implants because breast cancer runs in my family. After losing my grandmother and aunt to this terrible disease, I would both feel like a hypocrite for having an expensive surgery to deal with a cosmetic problem, and I don't want to decrease my risk of early detection. Honestly, I am a pretty confident person, so it doesn't me that much, except when I am dating someone new. I have not been with many men, but the few that have seen me naked often display a shocked look the first time. I never know if I should tell them in advance, wait til they realize how flat I am? I know it could be a dealbreaker to some men. I want to weed them out before they get as far as seeing me naked. What should I do?
  15. hi this a poem i got out of a book and it helped me through many break ups except one and i would like to share this poem with u. She stands alone She stands alone, both tall and true The perfect picture of solitude The soul of a woman encased in bark With limbs that move in a majestic arc Alone she's faced the storms of life The wind and rain, disease and strife Others gave up, but no, not she And there she stands for all to see She's had her share of troubles and woes But she made it though, and still she grows Like her I too know grief and pain I've faced the wind; I've felt the rain And like her too, I still stand tall Though life may beat me, I will not fall It may throw punches, I may take a blow But in the end I too shall grow Each storm increases my strength And beneath this skin, my soul's to thank The elm and I, we know what to do We count on ourselves, and make it through.
  16. Wanting to Know Why I wake up everyday of my life And I review what I have to do with my life I try my best to achieve all my goals But I seem to fail when I try my best Now a days I am starting to fall academically also personally My parents even notice I am starting to slack What is wrong with me? Am I really changing? Sometimes I really need to sit and think to myself What do I need to do? Is this just another adolescent phase? Or just another sweet depression what normal teenage girls go through? Is crying myself to sleep every night the best medicine? I really just don't know anymore, the Frustration, competition, and pressure Just brings me down and is just too much for me to handle I wish I could be the person that I want to be But you know you can't get everything you want And I thought of giving up would help But some people said that'd be just throwing away all your hard work and would be pointless But is it worth really trying? People say it is and people say it isn't I say it isn't, I need to get rid of this spell This spell is tearing me up inside, it's like a disease killing me I need to get rid of the negativity The negativity that brings me down The negativity that tears up my soul, my dreams, my confidence The negativity that makes me thinks of committing suicide But I know better than that I know what's right and I know what's wrong Sometimes I need to look on the bright side of things But I also need to know why.
  17. Mountain All around me is clouds, As far as I can see. I'm not sure which way to go. I feel the summit beneath my feet, My rock I am on trembles beneath my burden The wind begins to blow [Chorus] My mind is ravaged with all these thoughts, Radical, insane, rebellious, gone. At my sould it began to eat My fundamentals destroyed. I know I must move forward If not, my life is void [Chorus] Chorus- There is a path somewhere below, Leading to the stream that for eternity flows. The first step is always the hardest, And the journey is always the longest. The Young Boy Note: I was wanting to change the ending somehow... lemme know if you have any iders. He went in search of a perfect circle He got more than he wanted. They taught him love, compassion, worship, For each other. He learned a hard lesson in life, There's a thunderstorm in every cloud It's a plague, malady, disease, That's constantly corrupts the crowd. [Chorus] He thought all was unblemished The nations were fraternal. He, like you and I Lived in a fairy tale land. He was perplexed at the mores, Why did nobody defy them? [Chorus] Distraught at what he saw, He made a pact with himself. He would change his policy, And live life flawlessly, And no more would be handicapped. [Chorus] He lead his miniscule live, Overlooked by us all. He slowly unified followers, Who shared his vision. They would preach the truth, Endure the worst, All for this young man. But you see this mans work, Was only the beginning. [Chorus] Eventually they were defeated, For you cannot kill the immoral, They separated never to meet again, But the ideas of this young boy, Lived unceasingly, Because of his followers . [Chorus] Chorus: It's changeless, constant, immutable, steadfast, Ghastly, revolting, cruel But its inevitable. Toddlers' Smile [Chorus]- It all went by in a gallop, The days of purity are gone. We feel so old now, Looking into a toddlers' smile. God only knows if we did things right, Where did they go? They seem so long ago. You remember your first, When you first remembered to tie your shoe. Now you feel so ashamed, All innocence is gone. Amazing how it can be brought back, By holding a little kid. You want to believe That they will never sin, But deep in your heart you know You know. Time flew to fast Why couldn't it last I barely remember when We were so small But felt we could take it all, Oh why can't I have it back. thanks for reading
  18. Theres a bug inside my head its a tumour the REAL reality that you miss is what grew this it brings the cold the pain as it eats at my brain i would like to eat your cancer swallow it whole not better than mine but still i twine on whether or not im dead or alive can you help me strive to make this all go away or is the disease going to eat me today?
  19. Slithering slowly, hissing and spitting spraying murderous invisible venom. Airbourne disease firing, forcing on deaf ears lies. Slide off the slimy scales Securing the sinners swift bombardment. The lies. The lies. Rain down as the innocent cries wail and flail. Until the skulking shadow slowly devours. Stop! Listen......
  20. This was a prose poetry assignment we had to do for my English class. It's set up the way it is because that was the format we were assigned to write it in. Just because I'm gay It doesn't mean that I have some sort of contagious disease Or that you're going to "catch" it from hanging around me too much, Or that I'm trying to "recruit" you for anything, And I don't have a crush on every girl I talk to. Just because I'm gay It doesn't mean that I'm not human, too, Or that I don't have feelings, Or that it doesn't hurt when people tell me I'm going to hell. And I'm not trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage. Just because I'm gay It doesn't mean that I "chose" to be this way Or that my parents didn't raise me like they should have Or that I'm some kind of freak. And I don't want to be tolerated; I want to be accepted- Just for who I am. (By the way, I am actually a girl if the last line of the first stanza doesn't seem to make sense. I'm using "gay" as a general term referring to homosexuality, not just males.)
  21. Me and my boyfriend have been together for the past almost 4 years....i believe that we have the best relationship...i see him as my best friend....he is always the one who can make me laugh to the point where i cry and smile so hard that i feel my face cramping. He has been there for me through thick and thin. He is going through a lot these past few months with his disease that he was born with (cystic fibrosis) ...this is a disease that gets brutal as he gets older. On and off again he has tried to push me away... because he doesn't want me to see him die slowly as he gets older. He doesn't want me to suffer. He has also been going on and off about wanting to be single and live out his life while he is young...saying that we are only 18 and that there are so many things for us to do with our life while we are still young and that we should go and talk to other people..because life is just too short....he wants me to meet another guy who can treat me better then he has. It was very hard for him to say this because he started crying. He is very very insecure....and i believe that has to do with the fact that he has a life threatening disease and was also adopted at birth. He feels as if he doesn't deserve me, he feels that he doesn't deserve such a beautiful and precious thing in his life, he feels like he doesn't deserve my love. Just About 2 weeks ago we called to take a break in the relationship for about a month or so and then meet up somewhere...talk...and just say where we are, and what we believe is going to be right for us. This break has crushed me entirely, everyday I struggle but here and there I toughen up and find some happiness in the midst of all this mess... Tonight he texted me saying that a couple of his friends will be going to the beach for spring break, but he doesn't want to go because they will be bringing alcohol and weed...and he doesn't like being around that kind of stuff at all. But he said that he still wants to go to the beach, but he said that he wants to go with me. He said that we both might need this...to get away from stress and to just have fun. I want to go with him but i dont think my parents will let me....but i was also thinking of another idea. What if i say to my parents that i am spending the night at a friends house ..and then i go spend the day with him doing a bunch of fun things and then spend the night in a hotel with him....i dont want to have sex with him and im sure that he doesn't want to have sex with me....we have learned from our mistake. Im just wondering if doing this would be wrong for us...i feel like this would be like our last goodbye....holding each other one more time before we leave each others lives forever or just for a short while until we get our lives together. So i just need some answers and advice really ....
  22. I know this may not be the ideal forum to talk about this because it is a "psychiatrist's topic" but your advice could really help me as well as venting my feelings where people won't judge me and maybe understand me. The thing is I have body dysmorphic disorder,it is not not like I perceive (on my appearence) thing that are not like that,actually I have very noticeable flaws and I can't stop thinking about them and it is making me depressed,unable to live my life to the fullest. I've been obssesed over my face/head,which is the smallest I've ever seen,I don't have any type of disease or congenital condition,unfortunately my face is just like that and I'm 24/7 measuring my face/head and comparing my sizes to people I watch on youtube measuring their heads. I always compare myself to my friends or random people in the streets and automatically when I see my image compared to someone else reflected im the mirror I always look incredible small and my mood goes down horribly. I just wish I could accept myself and understand that although there are few or hardly any people with my physical traits (being too small) I am normal. I don't want to feel deformed or out of place whenever I go out. My head is 21 inches and I watched girls on youtube whose head is 21 inches and that kind of comforts me but then I look myself at the mirror and I look so small and these girls whose head is the same as me look normal, I dont know why despite having the same sizes I still look small compared to anyone. I've been like this almost this whole year,I'm seeing a psychiatrist and terapist,the latter does not help me,she says such absurd thing it makes me want to cry. She just says obvious thing,which things could be said by my friends not by a qualified professional! Things like you should try a new hairstyle and I'm like.. I'm telling you I feel so ugly I don't even want to make the effort to groom myself. I don't know what to do
  23. my heart beats inside me but it battles with an ugly monster its inside my very soul a deadly war that i will not win i try but i cant its eating me alive i cant stop its deadly path from raging through my body its killing me you have to understand what it is its a disease- my disease it has no name it doesnt need one!!!! Catie xxx
  24. I know nothing of love =================== I used to think I knew deeply of love, Yet it seems all that my heart believed Was a lie. To want to hold someone, because they Are beautiful; to want to love someone Because they are gentle; To want to be with someone because They bring out the best in you, and You in them; To write with passion verse inspired By their heart and their soul, from Your same depths; To want to hold this person close To you forever, above all others, Unconditionally; To want to change the world Together – through love's glorious Mirror; To weave symphonies of sound Because they are your Muse; To bring enlightened souls For gentle keeping through Passionate union. The years have proven my naivety, With long, cold nights, without end, Save for the briefest of glances. My heart is a bitter wasteland, Consumed with loneliness, and Frustration's dark disease. I would give all to one, Yet they might not even Know of my heart's beating. I would wait night and day, Faithfully, without regret, yet With cold's increasing visits. I would pine as I saw the Beloved stolen away by Impure hearts. I would despair at the Efforts that I made – worse Than futile. Perhaps love is not enough In this world? Perhaps romance matters more. But isn't love more important? Romance's year-lasting wrenches Don't survive beyond without it. I don't know much of this brutal World, save that I thought I knew what love was. But perhaps I was all wrong, Perhaps love is but an Illusion to keep us all sane, To keep us from madness's Grip at the realisation of The meaninglessness of life. Fate's cruel hands seem never Failing to snatch away the love That the gentlest hearts need most. So they are left standing Alone, abandoned, aware Of nothing save their solitude. Their only remaining duty, To wait for the dark reaper's Imminent arrival. I used to think I knew all Of love – how innocent And stupid I was. Then I met you, and Found that perhaps, I know nothing of love… But will you teach me?
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