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Cadence308

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Everything posted by Cadence308

  1. Cadence308
    You are allowing your ex to continue to hurt you and make you feel like crap...you are allowing him to control and ruin your life. He hurt you, so allow yourself to feel the pain without trying to get even. It could backfire and end up hurting you more than it hurts him. Move on, he is not worth your time and energy. It also sounds like you should consider talking to someone professionally about what he did and how it made you feel because you are not dealing with it in a constructive way.
  2. Cadence308
    I'm glad that you had a good time and felt like you could be yourself. I have only been to an all women's club (the same one a few times when I lived in Seattle) and it seemed there were too many butch women in there for my liking. LOL But, I have heard the gay clubs with men are more fun.
  3. Cadence308
    I haven't read your previous threads, but it sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. You clearly don't trust the guy and it sounds like he disrespects you by flirting with other women, breaking your stuff, etc. I agree that you have 2 choices: 1) stay with him, follow him to the store whenever he goes to make sure he is not talking and flirting with other women, stay unhappy; or 2) end the relationship and find someone whom you trust and is not abusive and be happy. Your choice.
  4. Cadence308
    I never bought the book, but many of my friends had and recommended it to me. I thumbed through it one day in the bookstore. I am a woman who dates women, but I think the book can apply to any kind of relationship. I agree that the book is common sense or a wake-up call. It points out the red flags and sometimes people need a good kick in the butt to realize that someone is just not that into them or are treating them bad.
  5. Cadence308
    You are depressed, plain and simple. Do you get the winter blues or does this year just feel different? You were sick for a month and out of school during that time with pneumonia. There is nothing that you could have done. You fell behind and probably felt like you were never going to get caught up. That guy that you lust after sounds like a jerk who led you on. Now he won't speak to you. Hon, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what a jerk he is to you. Most universities offer free counseling on campus or for a really cheap price. Have you thought about talking to someone about the way that you have been feeling? I think talking to a professional could help you get a new view on what happened to you this last semester and could help you become more stronger when dealing with other people.
  6. Cadence308
    At least you heard back from her. From the way you sounded on enotalone, the goal was to let a woman know how you feel about her, not necessarily have it be reciprocated. It sounds like you knew that she would probably be uninterested. So what...this is a big step for you. And you got a kick out of her response. She probably didn't know what to say and that's why she wrote exactly what was in her TA handbook. Students develop crushes on teachers/professors all of the time. It's like that professor's account of faculty-student crushes and it has more to do with an attraction to intelligence and authority than anything else. It's not really about finding the professor sexy or beautiful. They are all like that when they are teaching.
  7. Cadence308
    Wow, I can't believe you sent her an email telling her that you like her! That took guts and there's no way that I would have done something like that unless I knew there was a better than 80% chance that I knew she liked women and seemed attracted to me. I'm just like that, though. Have you heard anything back yet? What did you say to her exactly? Did you tell her that you think she's hot and you want to go out on a date?
  8. Cadence308
    I'm so sorry that it turns out this girl is pining after someone who has a boyfriend and a kid. It kind of shows where her head is...up her anal sphincter! I think that you should consider just dropping her from your life as soon as possible since you don't have much of an emotional investment, so that you don't end up pining after her. Keep looking for someone who is open to being friends and possibly more and is actually emotionally available. This girl will come back to you if it's meant to be.
  9. Cadence308
    She has been maniupulating you for almost as long as you have known her by threatening suicide if you stop talking to her and now if you leave her. She is very unstable. I agree that she needs some sort of therapy. You have caused this big mess with her and you have hurt many people and will hurt her in the end too. Nothing good comes from affairs and someone always ends up getting hurt. It sounds like you do realize that you are not happy with this Croatian woman and want to be with your wife and children. Get her some therapy and then leave her.
  10. Cadence308
    I agree...no contact all the way. Let her know that you don't need her. The thing I've learned about no contact that makes it work is that when you do no contact you are choosing to eliminate the person from your life because they hurt you. If they are not in your life then they cannot hurt you. It is going to hurt and it is hard. You have to do no contact for you and not just because you want her to miss you and start contacting you because that might not happen. Just focus on other things right now. Immerse yourself in work (and you might want to get a car or a bike so you won't need her to give you a ride to work).
  11. Cadence308
    Oh, I'm so happy for you!!!! That is awesome that you are getting the self-knowledge about your sexuality that you have been searching for and that you seem to be accepting it. It's also awesome that you went out on a date with a woman and got to kiss her and were turned on. It can be daunting and overwhelming at first. Take things slowly. You are experiencing so many emotions about being gay and coming out and then possibly attempting a relationship on top of it. I would start by coming out to one of your female friends who is either gay, bi-sexual or has other gay/les friends and is accepting of it. That's who I came out to first and it gave me the confidence to come out to a few more friends. However, I am still in the closet with most people. I think my family thinks I'm gay, but I haven't actually ever brought anyone home. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it or tell me about your date!
  12. Cadence308
    I act weird with women I have crushes on, too. Don't know why! It's hard when it's a same sex relationship because most of the time you don't know where the other person is coming from like if they date women or men, if they like you-like you, or just want to be friends. It's so hard. My ex gf was pretty blunt and she used to tell me that she could look a woman in the eye and tell if they dated women or not. She told me that she would be talking to a woman that she met in the grocery store or wherever and they would ask her to the movies or something and she would come right out and ask her if she liked women and dated women. That was one thing that I liked about her was that she wasn't into head games in that regard. She did have her other games, though.
  13. Cadence308
    You should dump him! You don't trust him. He's dating other women behind your back and never mentions you to any of his female friends and exs. He's always looking for opportunities to spend time with other women. He lied about the concert and uninvited you. What more proof do you need that he's a jerK?!](*,)
  14. Cadence308
    Do you have a computer at home where you could monitor her internet activities? Or perhaps go to the school when you know for sure she's not and download a key logger onto her school computer? I think you have a good reason to suspect that your wife is cheating? Are there gaps in your marriage or have things been rocky between the two of you? Do you think it's possible that she is more than friends with that male teacher friend of hers?
  15. Cadence308
    Congrats! Do something fun and for youself. I am UP LATE working on my presentation that is due tomorrow with the paper. I know I will get an A on it all because these things come easily to me. If it were math, that's another story!
  16. Cadence308
    Maybe she's trying to make you jealous. Is she insecure and wants reassurance of how special you are to her?
  17. Cadence308
    Well, I'm a female lesbian with a very low sex drive. I've only been with one woman and we are broken up now. I never initiated sex (sometimes initiated kissing), never felt I was able to please my girlfriend, and found it impossible to articulate what I wanted. I was self-conscious of my body, thought I was too fat and too hairy, and just not beautiful. There could be many reasons why your gf is uninterested in sex. I told my therapist it is something that I could take or leave, but the truth is that most of the time I would rather leave it. I have never felt comfortable with being sexual. Part of it may have to do with the way I was raised. My mom was overprotective and very strict on me. I am the oldest. One time she thought I had a boyfriend over when she was out of town and she was calling me a * * * * and easy, etc. I think some experiences like that have helped me to become almost asexual. If you talk to your girlfriend again, I wouldn't tell her that you are thinking of having sex with someone else. I'm sure that would make her really defensive. Instead, tell her what you feel that you are lacking from the relatioship and what you feel you need. Tell her you don't understand her lack of desire for sex and that you feel she deserves to be touched, kissed, made love to, etc. because you love her and want to express those feelings for each other. GL and keep us posted!
  18. Cadence308
    Lboogie, she already confronted her husband and he's admitted that he wants to see this other woman and get a separation. Worried has told him a separation is not necessary and she wants a divorce. He has already moved out and is ALREADY engaged to this other woman.
  19. Cadence308
    I know lesbians and girl on girl sex is a turn on for men, however, I think most of them are confused in that bi-sexual women aren't all into threesomes. Maybe your boyfriend thinks that because you are bi-sexual that should mean that you will engage in his fantasy of a threesome with another woman. If that is his biggest turn on and the only way to get him off, then I'd be worried about it and definitely talk to him about it. Since you sound like you are not comfortable with the idea of a threesome I would not compromise your standards and give in to him. It will dissolve your relationship with him completely.
  20. Cadence308
    LOL Hang in there. It will take some time to feel and be independent again. Take some time for yourself and allow yourself to cry to get over this relationship. Spend time with friends and family over the holidays and especially on New Year's. Things will get better.
  21. Cadence308
    I have to agree with this poster. You should have thought about your gf when you were doing some other girl. You need to come clean and if she dumps you then you need to learn from it.
  22. Cadence308
    Throughout my education I have pulled MANY late nights, but only a few all nighters. I function best with at least a few hours of sleep. Pulling all nighters with no sleep just made me so tired and I always felt hung over. If worst comes to worst at least try to get 2 hours of sleep. I had to work late tonight. But, I'm working on a group presentation (all the research is pretty much finished) and we started organizing the presentation this past weekend, so I think we'll be okay. However, I still have a 5 page paper and another presentation due on Thursday. Writing comes naturally to me. I'll probably crank out a rough draft of it in the morning to early afternoon and then write the presentation based on the paper on Wed. morning. Finals suck! The best thing to do is to learn from procrastination. I learn and retain information better when I study a little every day, which is hard with classes, internship, and work, but it really pays off.
  23. Cadence308
    Thanks for the graphic explanation! I would say that there is a very small chance (1%) that she could be pregnant. And it's a good thing that she took the morning after pill. It sounds like you have taken the steps to ensure that she is not pregnant. Now, just hope for the best.
  24. Cadence308
    I agree with Shadows Light. Your boyfriend/best friend is gay. You would be a fool to continue an intimate, romantic relationship with him, knowing this. Be there for him until he's ready to come out. It's up to the person to come out. All the gay porn and the fact that he has to dull his senses to be intimate with you pretty much says it all. It is hard for someone to come out to themselves. It's kind of a grieving process. I know for me, it was imagining what my life would be like with another woman and coming to a place within myself of accepting it. When I was first coming out to myself I thought I was bi-sexual. I think that's the first step, as it's not uncommon for someone who is gay to think or admit that they are bi-sexual, as it still allows them to live the privileged, heterosexual lifestyle. I'm only out to a few friends and it's been over 2 years.
  25. Cadence308
    This is a funny thread. I'm pretty vocal and moan a lot and quite loudly. My ex gf said it was a turn on when we were together. I always got sex head, too! A long time ago when I dated men, this guy I was seeing was kissing me on my neck and he told me that I smelled good and I said, "Good like food." I think that ruined the moment for him.
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