sepulveda

And I always thought it was a strange arrangement...something I wouldn't want. I get the feeling that my brother suggested it as a "Open relationship or nothing" sort of situation...I'm just saying that it _has_ worked...not that I understood how. I don't think that my sister-in-law holds any regrets now though, & in the end they both benefitted fro being able to _make sure_ that they were with the right people. It's hard when you're that young to know if you're staying with someone because they are the right one, or because that's all that you know. On an important note, there was no intercourse involved in the side relationships. They agreed that if it got to that point in another relationship that they would need to break-up. I didn't understand it but it did work.

I told him that I know that he invited his ex out to a weekend that he knew I wasn't going to be there. His response was "it's not like she was going to stay with me & the guys...besides it was more of a joke, I didn't think she'd actually come." I asked him what would have happened if she said yes. He said "There's nothing wrong with catching up with old friends." I said that there was when it was a weekend that you specifically knew I wasn't going to be around. He said "you'd do the same with your ex." I said "No, If you were away for the weekend I certainly wouldn't invite y ex to come & hang out with me...it's completely over the line." Anyway...I'm pretty sure that there's no physical cheating, but that doesn't make any of this better.

This is going to sound weird, but I've seen a relationship like yours work out (especially because of the age correlation). My borther & his girlfriend started dating when they were 16. After a couple of years they went away for college (to different states) & decided to have an "open relationship." They would act like they were together on breaks & holidays (not talking about other people at all)...but dated other people while away. They even talked about the dates (although usually it was a very minimal part of the conversation). Anyway, after college, they contined living in different states for about a year...but then moved in together. They dated/lived together for 7 more years before getting married a couple of years ago & have an extremely mature, honest, & loving relationship. The only advice I have is to keep talking to your guy, completely & honestly, and to see where it goes from there...

I've been seeing a guy for almost two years now, living together for one. We've had a bunch of random instances where he has pushed the boundaries of our relationship. 1) When we first started dating, he started dating someone else (no biggie, we weren't exclusive). Several months down the road (after we were exclusive) he arranged to meet her when we were on a road trip to the city where she lived. He told her that he was seeing someone (or so he tells me) & she called him at 2am drinking by herself & crying alone that it was supposed to be "their weekend." Anyway, she cyberstalked me & things got weird & I told him that he had to cut off all contact with her if he were to move on with me. I find out that he wanted to send her a birthday present (8months after our conversation) & that they were still in contact. After confronting him with it (february 2006) he stopped talking to her. 2) I had purchased two tickets too a band that he wanted to see for his birthday (9/05) but couldn't go for family reasons. He told me that he went by himself & scalped the extra ticket (for $20 less than face). It turns out that he took a girl I hadn't met & was stiffing me on the price. I only found this out 5months later after she brought it up (we had since become friends)... Anyway, on to today. We had what I thought was a pretty stable relationship. We even just got a puppy since I work at home now & are thinking of buying a fixer-upper in vegas. I found out that he sent some sentimental song to his ex-girlfriend in AZ (She's married to some well-off guy & has a 1 y/o & apparently stays at home & buys horses with his money). He told her about the house in vegas when she told him that she had visited the weekend previous to his sentimental email and "had a feeling she might run into him when she was out there." I don't know how he responded but her reply was that she didn't need to stay with him when she visits in April for a horse show as she already had reservations on the strip. None of his responses mention me at all (for all she knows we had broken up..."he's getting a puppy" "he's buying a house"). Ok, this was a couple of weeks ago, now onto the present...His Cousin (a close friend of both of ours) is having his 40th b-day party in vegas in February. At first I was invited (we are truthfully close), but since none of the other fellas have ladies (including the b-day boy) it turned into a guy's weekend & I graciously made no fuss about the unvite. Anyway I found out that my boyfriend has invited his married ex out for that weekend & I'm not sure what to do. Her response skirted the question. I think that truthfully she's just bored at being a housewife & likes the attention from her ex, & won't act on it...but then again...what do I know? Our relationship has grown apart in the past month & a half & I'm just not sure what to do.