Blue Skittles

the reason he did it is because he did not have any RESPECT for you... if he had an OUNCE of respect he would have let u in on what was going on and why he was taking off out of nowhere.

Hey everyone. I 'quit' smoking on the 22nd of June. By that, I mean I quit buying cigarettes. Before that, I had significantly cut back from smoking half a pack a day to smoking a quarter of a pack a day. Anyways, so I quit buying cigarettes. I am now smoking a new brand "OPC" - Other Peoples Cigarettes. My bf came into town the following weekend so i didn't smoke for 8 days straight but it was the weekend after that that I met some new people, we went out partying, and I ended up having a few cigarettes on each night. Still I made it through the day and then it was the Monday after that that I had one off my friend at the bar and then 3 days after that I got another one from a friend at work. Anyways I'm having a tough time. I find when I get angry, stressed out, or emotional over something, I want a cigarette. I also have a long road trip coming up, I find road trips extremely boring and the only way i managed to drive all that distance by myself was to smoke cigarettes along the way. I don't know what I'm going to do this time, besides drive myself crazy. Any advice from anyone whos gone through the pain of quitting smoking??

I say you should have a blast this summer and not worry about your boyfriend and how he is missing you. Just have yourself a good time, hang out with your friends, hit the beach, do what makes u happy and really rejuvinate yourself to prepare for another year of college. Try to limit the contact with your boyfriend to once every few days. THen when u get back u can see where the relationship is at.

I feel bad for what you are going through. It truly is a tragic situation. Personally, if it were me, I would leave him there at the hospital. You don't need to suffer through taking care of him. Why should you? After all the love you gave him he turned around adn went off with another woman, and even if he is in a critical situation you don't need to be the one to pick him back up. I know your emotions are high but honestly, if you stay with him and help him through this you will end up mixed up again, and do u really want to go through more pain all over again. I would sign up for counselling again to try to work through your emotions but I think you need to take care of yourself - yourself is #1 and do what is best for YOUR future and for YOUR life.

Seeing as it is her cousins wedding, I imagine most of the people she would be dancing with would be family (thats how it was at the previous family weddings I've been at), maybe another guy here or there, but its nothing to worry about. Its just dancing.

If he respects you he will wait. And by him waiting for you, it shows that you are something special worth waiting for. I'm making my bf wait, as tough as it is. We have long distance relationship too and so he'll frequently drive a few hours out to see me, and this way I know its to see me and spend time with me not to get sex. It makes me feel good. I won't make him wait till marriage or nothing, I mean I've done this stuff before, but I wouldn't have realized how much I meant to him if I didn't make him wait. So I think its a good idea.

5 years is a very long time to be in a LDR. I'm not sure what else u can do online... I'm not big on online communication. BUt i'm rather curious.. how did u make it last this long? Do u have any plans thus yet of one of you moving out to be with the other?

THe other day I was walking through a door and my father literally squeezed in and cut me right off and went thru the door first, nearly knocking me over. THat pissed me the hell off. Thats how NOT to treat a woman with respect anyways.

Hey, I can understand how he would feel bad about you always paying all the time. I don't know if there is an easy solution for that especially when you want to do fun stuff together. But maybe there are activities you guys can do together that don't involve spending a lot of money. My bf and I like to go out and spend time in the park, go for walks on the trails, picnics, watch movies at home, stuff like that. Hes got a lot of money to blow but I am broke and I don't like to take advantage of his money situation so I think doing that kind of stuff makes it easier on us.

why not send each other things in the snail mail. U could send little gifts and cards and letters in fancy coloured ink. I always find that puts some fun into it.

Well, I am currently in a long distance relationship. Its not a long distance, but we don't get to see each other very often. I think its important to realize that you both have a life outside of this relationship. I'm just pretty patient with that. If theres a night my bf can't call me or talk to me cuz he is out with his friends I always tell him something like "thats great honey I hope you have a good time" And sometimes he talks to me everynight and I tell him dude you gotta go out with your friends too, its not all about me. But on the flip side, I always make sure I"m going out and having a good time with my friends. WHy sit around and wait for the phone to ring every night? WHat kind of a life is that? So thats how i deal with things. DOn't get too upset over it. THe distance is definitely hard but if you keep yourself busy, and don't get mad at him if he doesn't call, and don't sit around and wait for him. If you make it seem like u are living it up he will respond much differently. Good luck.

Hi Phantom - thank you so much for your reply. Still pretty lonely here. I guess I am ok with finding things to do, if it comes down to it I sit around and work on the sweater I am knitting. I recently quit smoking so now I'm working on losing weight, so I go for walks by myself in the evenings. I look forward to the weekends my bf and I can visit. My own parents don't even call to talk to me. Thats fine I guess. I just know every day I'm becoming more and more cold. THat scares me. I guess as for sexual problems, its different, but my bf is very understanding and patient and he said he will wait for me as long as it takes and work through it with me. For that I can be thankful. I'm not really depressed just lonely.

Hi, I know what you are feeling like. I am alone here too. dont get yourself depressed over it, ok? Sometimes it is good to be alone, you discover a lot about yourself. I would suggest taking up a hobby. i like knitting and sewing cuz i can make my own clothes, and it makes time pass by sooo fast. you may also want to join a club, something like a dance class or pottery or something, cuz then u can meet other people who share the same interests as you. Do you have anyone else you can turn to? Sometimes when girls get a new boyfriend they turn away from their friends, leaving them feeling left out. Can u talk to your parents, a sister or brother? Maybe even do some counselling if you feel the depression is that bad..

I believe moving out would be great for you. Of course the first thing u need to consider is money. U will need to have enough saved up for one months rent, plus damage deposit which is usually equivalent to one months rent. so 2 months. U can call around apartments for prices and such. U also want to make sure u have steady enough income so u can afford the rent each month, and have enough left over for phone/internet bill/groceries/power bill/entertainment, etc. U could consider getting a roommate. Usually u will find ads in the local newspaper for that type of thing. Make sure u go check out the place and meet the people and make sure they are people u can live with. It will definitely save u a lot of money to live this way and u will know people and people to share the bills with etc. but when living with people u gotta make sure u are keeping things clean, u are being respectful, not playing music too loud or coming in at odd hours of the night, etc. things u don't have to worry about living by yourself. but i like living with people cuz its just an added company. it can get lonely by yourself.

Ok - there are a few things I would like to address in this topic, or at least vent about. I wish I would have stayed in the city. this place sucks. Its a small town. A lot of people are snobby, already have their own circles, not really interested in getting to know you. Keep in mind I am a pretty introverted person so I don't just do things like go walking into a bar by myself and start talking to people. I do try to talk to people at work, not just coworkers but the other people around too, but everyone is so closed off. I still do crazy stuff like walk around town in my straw hat (thats a blast) and i went around honking my horn when my favorite hockey team won games. Anyways, thats besides the point. I'm miserable here. I literally have no one here and as a result I'm finding that I am getting more and more cold. LIke I don't even call home to talk to my parents anymore because well, they haven't called me either and i'm just like "what the heck is the point of talking to anyone right now, i'm lonely already and i don't think anyone cares". Except my boyfriend, which brings us to issue #2. Long distance relationships. I recently started dating this guy who lives halfway in between this small town i'm living in and the city i come from. either place i'm living in its a 2.5 hour drive to visit each other. We've already seen each other 3 times in the last week. its awesome. but i got a permanent job in my city so we won't be moving close to each other anytime soon. We've been good friends for years and just never had good timing between now. We've liked each other off and on for 3 years. Now finally a good time where we are both ready to date each other. Anyways, the thing is when it comes to doing anything sexual i always have a panic attack. I have no clue why. Its FRUSTRATING as hell for the both of us. WE are very much in love with each other and its not like we're moving too fast, 3 years of friendship, one month of dating... I wish I could explain why this happens but I don't know. So thats about all for my ranting. thanks for listening guys. oh and i finally hve some internet goin on in this one horse town so i guess i'll be on more often than i have been.

i used to have a friend just like this. i had no interest in him, even if he was interested in me. he kept saying stuff like "i know u're in love with me". I just kept telling him to **** off. lol Anyways, you don't want to be involved with a player, you never know if they are being faithful or not. That and you could EASILY get an STD, if he is sleeping around with a bunch of different women. U are much better to stay away from this type and find a one-woman man.

I'm not ready to make nice - Dixie Chicks

Don't settle for this. Honestly, if she was really in love with you, she would not have let you go in the first place. Maybe the reason she needed space is because she wanted to see what else is out there. So, if you do get back together with her, it is probably because of her feeling lonely. Then you get back together and shes always going to have her eyes open for "something better" and in the end you get hurt again. So don't do it. Besides, you will feel better if you have some pride and say "I don't think we are right for each other lets stay friends" rather than be like a puppy dog coming back whenever she calls you.

I'm going thru a break-up myself, and I don't know if this is actually going to work or not, but I'm bookin it out of town for the summer, forgetting about everything around here, spending time with my family, working in the mountains, I'll even go spend some time at the farm with my auntie, and I'm not keeping in touch with anyone from the city while I'm gone. Well, maybe some CLOSE friends. But I have a good feeling about it. Things that have worked in past breakups: No Contact, spending time with friends, exercise, shopping for new clothes, singing and dancing around my apartment acting like an idiot, and most importantly, cuddling with my two little critters!! I love them so much!

A lot of things have changed since our grandparents day and age. I think it all ties into the divorce rate in some way or another. For instance, back then, it was a mans job to bring home the bacon and put food on the table and the wife to stay home and take care of the home. A woman really depended on her man. She couldn't go to work. It is now socially acceptable for both partners to work and bring home money. Women don't depend on men financially so much anymore. They are a lot more independent. I think this ties into it. Also people are a lot more liberal, religion isn't that important to a lot of people anymore, and morals are definitely a lot lower.

It is really smart what you are doing. I have a friend and I just spoke to her tonight. She is very smart about it too, she is about the same age as you and she is very picky about the men she dates and I really admire her for that and I'm gonna be the same way when I start dating again (I'm staying single until September). Especially I think once you get past 25 you wanna make sure the guy you date is going to fit into your future.

Thanks so much guys for the support! The oilers are kickin * * * but they are starting to get tired and that last game they made a big mistake getting lazy after making those 4 goals. Anyhow, enough about hockey. I agree with both of you, which is why I'm taking my independance this summer. It hurts that he would be so careless as to not want to spend time with me before I leave, but thats how it is. He sent me a txt today (couldn't even call!!) that said "hey sup". I sent him one back that said "can't talk now. I will call you. Later." And of course I'm not going to call him. lol Its so hard for me to do cuz I will be 2 blocks away from his house tomorrow for work but hey everything will be better in a week when I'm gone...

Ok I know I've posted about my boyfriend before, probably driving you all crazy with the stories, and I apologize. But the good news is its almost done and I'm only in it for one more week and its all done... Anyways, to keep you posted, basically we were having problems, he was distant, hes an older guy, he just didn't seem that 'into me'. Whenever I talked to him about this issue, him being distant and stuff, he always says he wants to be with me. He doesn't want to break up. We've had so many fights in the last 2 months and he always wants to make up and stay together. Fights over stupid things like who is going to whose house to visit... I've been confused on what i want, but thats what he wants. Yet, the problems are STILL there. Hes distant. He doesn't want to have sex, he doesnt' call me when he says hes going to call me. If I had more time, I would flat out start ignoring him the same way he does with me. So, I decided to leave town for the summer. I thought it would give me a good chance to get away, from him, and the city, rethink what I'm feeling, get 'unnattached' from everything, and make a plan for my life. Well that turned into more problems. I kept thinking, knowing that I am leaving in a month and we are going to be apart, he still doesn't want to spend a lot of time. There are constant broken promises... for what? For "I'm too tired" "I don't feel like driving" "I have to help my roommate with something" he'll talk to me one night about going out rollerblading, going out for dinner or whatever, tell me hes going to call me the next day to hang out, I'll get no call. Sometimes I call him, sometimes I don't and wait for him to call - even if that be 3 days. The next day, it's "Oh I'm sorry i forgot I have to do this today and its the only day I can do it" He's not even bloody working right now. He sleeps in until afternoon, lazes around all flippin day, doesn't do anything, and yet still doesn't have energy to see me. So I'm emotionally frustrated. I'm constantly ending up pissed off at him. Anyways. Thats when I broke up with him. I kind of used this as an excuse, but it worked, well.. I told him "You know, I'm going to have a hard time keeping long distance relationship this summer, its hard enough for us to hang out living in the same city, I don't want to sit around missing you all summer, and I want to break up so I can have a bit of freedom and have fun this summer." he says "so.... you're breaking up with me...." and I said "essentially, yes". "and he was like "thats fine, I understand" and i was like "well, i guess i should go now..." and he was like 'do you want to hang out as boyfriend and girlfriend until you leave?" and I was like "well I don't know if thats a good idea, but I guess, we could.." Sure enough, bad idea. Hes the same lazy * * * he's always been. He was supposed to call me this morning, did he? No. Tomorrow I'm going out to watch the game with my friends. He has never met my friends and doesn't want to meet them and doesn't want to hang out. But I'm going out to have a good time. Then hes out of town for 2 days. When he comes back, I'm moving my stuff out of my apartment. I was supposed to stay with him for 2 days. He was gonna help me move. Now I just don't know. Should I call him tonight and ask if he wants to hang out? I"m so frustrated with him I don't even know if I want to do that. If we don't hang out tonight its pretty much over. I'm sure he knows that. I wish I could play "the game" but I can't. theres no time. Even so, even if I end up emotionally in pain its only for another week until its all over. So I guess I'll just wait it out.

* * * * dude you had me just about crying there with that fake story - that was MEAN!!!!

I agree with the above poster. Do what you need to do for your kids as far as contact goes, but don't let her back in to your life if this internet boyfriend thing doesn't work out. If she comes back to you when it doesn't work out, shes just gonna think she can do it again. I am so sorry you are going through this..