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Blue Skittles

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Everything posted by Blue Skittles

  1. Why not buy her a spa day as a gift for a birthday/anniversary, or even just because. You can get her a package where she could go get her hair done, massage, facial, pedicure, manicure. It would be a nice treat for her and would make her look good for you. Have you suggested maybe getting a joint gym membership, where you two could go to the gym together? She might see that a little differently than you saying "you should really go to the gym and work out". Or, do what my brother did for his girlfriend and buy a Wii Fit. lol. I think there is nothing wrong with expecting your partner to keep herself looking good, as in not being a slob. For me, it all depends. If I'm at home in the evening and don't need to go anywhere else, I'm in my pajamas 99% of the time, starting the minute I get home from work. And my partner just has to accept that. If I'm going out, I'll dress appropriately for the occasion, be it work, a date, or casual.
  2. I just watched the first 15 seconds of that and i'm sitting in my room alone, its dark, 2 in the morning, and that freaked the hell outta me so i had to turn it off. will watch during the day.
  3. Thank you so much blender. Your advice has been really helpful and encouraging. It gave me a clear frame of mind of what I'm going to do. I have no idea if he will call or not, but I know for sure I will get through this. I've been through it before and I'll do it again. Thanks...
  4. The hardest part is that we didn't get to discuss it. And hes obviously avoiding it because if he truly wanted to talk about it he would have found a way (like call from his cell phone when he was in town). When we were talking on MSN he said he was still confused because he thought that I wanted to break up and that he thought it was me who was unsure about my feelings when the only thing going through his head at the time was that he felt bad about not being able to come into town. thats about as far as we've gotten with this. Its so frustrating to just leave it at an open end like that. I'm not going to email him. I think its over and it hurts to leave it like this but I think I have no other choice.
  5. Two weeks ago my bf and I broke up. It left me feeling really confused as there was no reason for it and it just happened. He started acting strange and when I questioned him about it he kept saying he didn't know and it led to a break up. Anyways, lately I've been good. Except when I'm sitting at home alone in my apartment. I get really depressed. The fact that I really didn't have any closure is really getting to me. So after not talking to him for a week and a half I added him back on to MSN and we started talking. I decided to be upfront and honest and told him I was still mad. He said he was still confused. We started talking about what happened and then he said he had to go to bed cuz he had to be up really early. I said "alright, but if we are going to even be friends we really need to finish this conversation because I need it" and he said "yes, I definitely want to finish talking about this with you, we'll talk tomorrow" So sure enough he comes on MSN two days later (tonight) profusely apologizing b/c his internet/phone line is messed up and he tried talking to me yesterday but couldn't. Then he warned me that he might get kicked off tonight cuz the phone line is still messed up. So sure enough we don't get to talk. I really need to get this stuff out so either i cna have closure or maybe we might even decide to get back together. The whole situation is that i thought he wanted to break up and he thought i wanted to break up but i odn't think either of us really wanted that. I think about him a lot and i really miss him. I just don't know what to do. I really need to talk to him about it and I'm not sure what to say. Should i send him an email expressing my thoughts or what? my friends said i should send him an email and outright tell him i want to get back together. is this a good idea?
  6. From the little info you provided here - it seems to be the case that you have a more solid base with Man A on which to build a relationship. Think about Man B in the long term. Would it work out? Are your feelings at this point just lust? Cuz that fades over time and if you have nothing in common to base it on then a long term thing probably won't work out.
  7. K, i'm putting this under break-ups, because essentially thats whats been happening in my life lately. The biggest break-up I'm concerned about is the one with my family. My parents and I have not been getting along AT ALL - my mom and I fight every second time I call her. I haven't spoken to my father since Christmas. I asked my mom what Dad's problem was, and she didn't tell me. So i asked him myself - he pretty much told me he has "given up on me". I don't get it. I don't get why. I'm doing well for myself, living on my own in a city far away and i have a great career and good friends, I live a positive life. I workout everyday and I go to church once a week. Whats this "given up on me?" crap about then? I decided not to talk to my family anymore - NC from my parents. I'll still talk to my sister. But not my parents. I just can't do it. They belittle me and make me upset everytime i talk to them. I have 2 friends that just decided to stop talking to me, didn't even tell me why, don't return my phonecalls or txt messages. I didn't even get a reason. I know its not cuz they are busy. But for some reason they just stopped talking to me. I also broke up with my bf a week ago today and I'm having a hard time because of the other stuff happening all at once. He didn't tell me why either. It leaves me thinking - "what the hell is wrong with me???"
  8. Just give it a shot. Girls usually feel very flattered when guys hit on them, its like an ego boost. Just give it a try and see what happens. whats the worst that can happen? She will say no? Well at least you tried and you know rather than spend the rest of your life wondering. Good luck.
  9. I have problems with depression too. And I find exercise is like a miracle for this. I don't take any medication because I hate the way I feel so indifferent when I'm on it. It actually started making me crazy. So yeah, I exercise every day and I feel a lot better. Also make sure you are eating healthy foods. And keep yourself busy. I don't know of any natural things that work other than this. As for the cat, I would suggest you give her away now if you are having second thoughts. It is waaaay easier to give away a kitten to a good home because most people want cats when they are young. If things like cat hair and that are driving you nuts now it will only continue to drive you crazy. Best off to give him to a loving home. Theres nothing wrong with that, you can still love cats and love animals, but if you are having trouble taking care of him maybe its not for you.
  10. why not go on a road trip? I did that a couple times this summer. Just drove out to a random small town and went for a drink and came back. It was fun and I got to blast the tunes in my car and cruise down the highway and when I got there i always talked to new people because I was more outgoing cuz I knew I didn't have to go back there again if I didn't want to. It was fun.
  11. My friend told me all about this the other day. She said she saw it on oprah and it was REALLLLLY good. I'm gonna take it up and watch it tomorrow when i have more time. Thanks for the link!!!
  12. Ok, so my ex called today. I don't get it. He was the one that initiated the break-up, well kinda talked me into breaking up with him, whatever. Anyways. I was all good, getting over things, and then he called. Why? I was too busy to take his call. He called on my cell and my house and i was on the way to the gym and he asked how i was and i said i was fine but i had to let him go cuz i was driving. So i didn't even get a chance to find out what the heck he was calling for. Why do exes call after its over???? Geez, I still have no idea WHY he wanted to break up. Now i gotta figure out why he wants to contact me. guys are stupid. not all of them, i know. but this one sure is.
  13. Ok, so my bf and I broke up, which is a good thing. It was a LDR and it was getting really hard. I don't understand why it ended, things were going sooooooooooooooooo goood and then all of a sudden this weekend he said he didin't want to come out, and he was really quiet. I asked him if I should be concerned about anything. He avoided the question, so I re-asked him. He said "maybe". I asked him to tell me what was up, and he wouldn't. He kept saying "i don't know, i don't know, i don't know" every answer to my question was "I don't know", so I eventually said "well, from what i'm getting out of you, i don't think you really want this. But when it comes to me, I really don't want to be with a guy that doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not, so I think we should end things here and you can take time to think and figure out what you really want" It was sooo annoying. I still don't know why. I don't know WHY he all of a sudden changed his mind. All I knew, is that he was confused about his feelings towards me, and that I deserve to be with someone who KNOWS they want to be with me. I'm feeling ok about the breakup - i just wish I had a reason. It was a real pain to even try to get the breakup out of him. I knew something was off and I knew he wanted to do it, but he freakin wouldn't stop with the "i don't know". At the end of the conversation, I said goodnight. He said " I will probably talk to you tomorrow". mod edit????? I don't want to speak to this guy again. I deleted and blocked him off MSN and i changed the batteries in my call display so i'm not going to answer his calls. If i do pick up when he calls I'm going to say " Why are you calling?? We broke up" I think i'm giving up on dating.
  14. Yes I have many male friends that are JUST friends and its never gone beyond that.
  15. My boyfriend and I, things got off to a great start, and then we had a really rocky month due to miscommunications. Recently we ended up getting things back on track and we've been talking a lot and making up for lost time. We started dating in December. I really really like this guy and hope things work out and I know he wants things to work out too because he is putting so much effort into making sure we are communicating every day and visiting me. Anyways, I feel really bad because of all the bad choices I made in my past. Things i am just not proud of, smoking, getting into drugs, sleeping with guys, suicidal attempts, etc. He knows about this, and he says it doesn't bother him. But he is SUCH a good person. He is waiting until marriage for sex, and has had a really good life, and the extent of "bad" things he has done is getting really drunk. I really admire this about him, that he works so hard and is close with his familiy and is a good guy. I just feel bad because I wish I would have waited for someone like him to come along rather than just settle for whatever came along and in the process got dragged into all the bad things I did. I really really regret that I once lived my life like that. I've turned myself around and I still have some turning around to do. I've just had a hard time shaking this feeling.
  16. ok my insurance does not cover theft. now i know for next time. already filed a report with the police. its not really the situation thats bugging me - or how i'm going to deal with things, i already have a plan in mind for that. I just feel really violated. Like SOMEONE else is freakin driving around MY car. And the fact that people are so CRUEL and HEARTLESS and STUPID in this world to do things like this. And the police act like its really no big deal.
  17. Ok - so someone stole my car. I don't get it. Why are people so freakin messed up in this world??? now i'm flippin stranded, i have no way of getting around, i'm relying on people from work to give me rides and half of my life is in... my car!! And i also have no way of getting to see my bf this weekend... I feel so hopeless. Why does all this crap always happen to me!! My life sucks.
  18. About 5 years ago I quit complaining about Valentines day and just stopped celebrating it all together, and stopped believing in it. Much the same way some of the religious groups don't celebrate christmas. Its very liberating. I don't even think about it when it comes up. Sometimes i laugh at all the poor suckers who either a) fall for the crass commercialism of this holiday, or b) get all miserable because they don't have someone to celebrate it with. If you REALLY want to celebrate this - go out with your friends and have a girls night out. Besides, this year its on a Wednesday. Whos really gonna be doing anything. what with work the next day and things going on, just treat it like a typical wednesday.
  19. WOW is an addiction. I don't play it myself, but i have friends that play it. They are hooked beyond belief. My best friend and her fiance play it to the point where they don't do anything else. I only go back once a year and when i did go back to visit they played wow the whole time without even visiting with me. I was pissed. But you know what? They didn't even have a sense that they were doing that. My ex also used to be hooked on computer games and it was hard to get him to do things with me, which is why i broke up with him. He was really upset. I know he didn't mean to treat me that way but he didn't know how to change. I think your current bf really cares about you and wants to make things better but i think he needs to learn to prioritize you or the game.
  20. Well, I'm feeling depressed. And this is also day one of trying to quit smoking. What a day to do it. The reason I picked today is because tomorrow I'm going out to a camp with the kids i teach, so i won't be able to smoke for 2 days anyways. I just figured, well why not quit altogether. I don't understand a lot of things right now. My bf lives 2 hours away. We've only seen each other twice since we decided to start dating 2 months ago. THe last time I saw him was before Christmas. You would think, with a distance of only 2 hours, that we could visit more often. But it just hasn't happened. I'm so busy with my work, hes just as busy with his, we just haven't had the time. Hes not very attentive to me, at all. He doesnt' call me, unless i call him, then he will call me back. I only call once every four days. He came into town to see a hockey game, and didn't even bother to make plans to come see me while he was here. He sends me messages on MSN or txt messages, but never initiate a phone call. To be honest with you, this guy has a lot of qualities i want in a boyfriend, I really did like him, I was attracted to him, but since he started becoming unattentive, I've just lost feelings for him. And when I've tried to break up, hes gotten upset, when i ask if he wants to keep going with this, he says he does. Anyways, since breaking up with him didn't work, I've decided to jsut stop contacting him forawhile to see. I'm not going on MSN, and not replying to txt messages. Maybe this is a bad idea. Secondly, a really good friend of mine has come through for me. He lives here, so we can see each other whenever we want. We are going out to see a movie on Friday together. We are just friends and because of religious differences and other complications (including the fact that i have a bf) we would never be more than that. But hes soo sweet, and caring, and nice to me. He txts me every morning and tells me i'm beautiful, he calls me every night to make sure i'm ok and that i had a good day, he comes over to give me a hug when i'm depressed. Its honestly just friendly contact but its making me realize that this is what my boyfriend should be doing, and he just isn't. So anyways, keeping up with work is taking its toll on me, I'm tired. I don't even have energy when I get home. and dealing with this makes things worse. part of me just wants to go out and buy that pack of cigarettes b/c it was helping me deal with * * * *. I went out and bought some liquor. Maybe i'll drink the pain away tonight. I can't believe how much I've started drinking in the past few months. Not typical of me at all. Oh well, thats another story. Thanks for listening.
  21. I think it is fine that you call him. He already explained that he doesn't want to bother you, and he sends you texts. i don't think its anything to be concerned about.
  22. it sounds to me like he made the whole story up. why would a female nurse be examining his balls? I don't know.
  23. I was feeling this way for the last month until I turned things around. First you need to realize that there are things that you cannot change and accept that. Secondly, motivate yourself to change the parts of your life that you can change. That might be at work, going to the gym, doing things to make yourself feel better. I don't know what exactly is going on so theres not much I can say, but heres an example. I was getting really bummed out this weekend that my bf isn't here and i havne' tseen him in a month. That and didn't really have any friends around. So I accepted that and went out and organized a pile of papers at work all weekend. Thats how I spent my weekend. I feel good about it and it passed the time while I was lonely.
  24. In my opinion a relationship doesn't have to be all about 'talking'. There are so many quiet moments that can be enjoyed to, like cuddling during a movie, playing a board game together, making dinner, the list goes on. My bf and I went through the same thing. We used to talk for 3 hours every day, then one day it just got boring. Now we talk like twice a week and we always have lots to talk about. It is long distance though so that presents its own challenges. If you find it getting boring maybe try not to hang out as often or try doing different activities together. It doesn't mean its doomed. don't worry.
  25. I moved out when I was 17, and never went back. I moved away for college. I was excited. I felt really independent. I learned a lot. Anyways, there is nothing wrong with staying at home. I've had friends that have stayed at home until they were 25-29. I even knew one guy who was 36 and still living with his mom. In some cultures you don't move out until you get married and start a family of your own. If you DO want to move out, do it, don't question it. It seems like a lot of expenses at first but you learn real fast to cut back on some things and save money for rent. Its a really good experience.
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