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Aurian last won the day on December 15 2006

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About Aurian

  • Birthday 08/08/1979

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  1. I hate clothes shopping sometimes heh. I feel sexy and beautiful in the clothes I have now, but when I go clothes shopping (especially lingerie) I end up feeling fat and unattractive. This store makes stuff too short for me. That store makes stuff too small for me despite my fitting into the same size elsewhere. They don`t make a larger size. This brand doesn`t fit over my bum and the next size up GAPES around my waist. That brand doesn`t even button over my breasts. Oh look, nothing left remotely my size - just racks of size 2s. NOTHING in the lingerie store fits a 6 foot tall woman with curves! I feel like a fat giant. Clothes shopping really makes you feel insecure!
  2. Great story, very vivid. My only suggestion (other than grammer cleanups) would be to put the part about not having food and water at the beginning. First you say how beautiful she used to be, then talk about how food became the enemy, and then the result. When you jump right into the result, I think it is less dramatic.
  3. Aurian


    Tall is reletive. Different countries and different cities tend to have different average heights. In the US, the average height is 5"9' as someone pointed out. Some countries in Europe have an average height of 6'2"! Some races trend towards being taller or shorter as well it seems to me. The Asians in Vancouver tend to VERY short, so I am sure the average height in Vancouver is skewed shorter! I am 5'11" and I tower over much of the mall crowd! So you are tall in some places, average in others and short in still others.
  4. My now-ex husband proposed to me on a couch. Just asked if I would marry him. No knee, no ring, no memorable moment. I didn't care too much back then; I loved him and marriage was enough, given that he was romantic at other times. But when we were married, that romance went out the window. It was like that proposal was the beginning of the end of the good times. Those who've seen my posts know how far down it went afterwards.
  5. Video cameras are expensive and hard to do on the sly, but there are witnesses. She can take pictures of her injuries. You can leave a recording device on. Get proof, take it to the police. Woman`s shelter is a good idea - they might know ways to deal with things. It is horrible enough to have an abusive mate, but an abusive parent is harder to get away from because you are dependant on them - you aren`t legally allowed to leave. I am horrified nobody does anything to help. His behaviour must have been noticed by neighbours if he is screaming at his child in broad daylight.
  6. They work yes. Lavalife is not free but it is more flexible because you buy credits instead of paying for a membership. OKcupid is a free site. I tried plentyoffish, but in my area, it seemed more like a party with buddies, singles, couples, etc as opposed to just singles, which made finding the actual singles a bit daunting.
  7. I am flattered when my bf is excited by my kissing. The only time when I am skeeved by an erection is when it seems inappropriate. I had a back massage a few months back, and something kept rubbing my arm that was most definitely NOT his arm or leg. That kinda skeeved me, especially since I wondered if he was doing it on purpose!
  8. Two months for the verbal I love yous. (Just yesterday A month in, he started dancing around it - putting love in his emails, mailing me corny love songs and using
  9. Or just keep a glass of water nearby so you can drink it and wash out the taste.
  10. I don't outright lie, but I sometimes "lie" by wording. For example, I wasn't ready to say that my divorce wasn't final yet (aka, I was still separated because Canadian law requires a year-long trial separation). So I said that I filed for divorce last year and let him conclude that I was divorced. I came clean later about it when there was more trust and openness between us. I don't like lies. Some things are hard to talk about, and I would prefer someone talk to me about them when they are able to instead of lying outright. There are some grey areas in how much you share at any one point in a relationship, but there should be a point where you are not hiding back anything. If I find someone who consistantly and blatantly lies to me, then trust would be broken. Trust is something I give to someone easily, but once broken, it is almost impossible to fix. And I have no interest in being in a relationship without trust.
  11. Sorry about that first guy... what a jerk! My first love was a huge jerk, but he was very sweet and charming for two years before he changed and became outright abusive. I am in my first relationship now post-jerk. I was very scared to trust again when I ended that first relationship, but I had time to think over things and I have come to some conclusions: 1 - take things slowly and give yourself time to get to know a guy. 2 - actions mean a lot more than words. First guy was a huge sweet-talker, but the person I am with now is very sweet and thoughtful with ACTIONS instead of words. Talk is cheap! 3 - Some guys are very good at hiding the red flags, but will often leave a lot of yellow flags - slightly disturbing things that you shrug off as being too small to worry about. One or two yellow flags are okay, but if you stop and count up the yellow flags and they're either showing a pattern or are adding up, then hit the brakes and think about what is happening! My ex didn't show any red flags back in the initial period, but I had quite a collection of yellow flags that I should have paid more attention to. 4 - listen to your gut. If you're feeling uncomfortable, LISTEN to your feelings! Don't let the other person give you excuses, what does your gut and your head say? Its so easy to cling to excuses when you want to love the guy, but you got to listen to yourself as well. 5 - trust... but trust with your eyes wide open.
  12. I dunno, you can look at pic and tell if there is room for a spark of attraction. A pic doesn't have to be super great looking, but if you look at the picture and all you can think about is how ugly they are, there isn't much room for attraction to grow is there? People do become more attractive when you get to know them and like them, but to me, there has to be something appealing about their looks to begin with. And everyone has their own idea of what is appealing. Maybe be a bit more selective? A bad profile too... I learned early on if there is a bad profile, they probably wouldn't be a good date!!! People should be putting their best foot forward, so if you're thinking their profile is bad, they're either rushed, doing it for a lark, or you're not compatible. Worked for me though. I found my share of creeps, but I also found a wonderful, nice (in a good way boyfriend who I'm definitely falling for.
  13. ^^ Excellent advice I think. Once I would understand, but twice or more? I would say she is too flaky and unreliable at best or hiding something at worst. I'd just move on.
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