Blue Skittles

After being sick with the Strep throat for 3 days, I'm finally really dealing with the emotions that I've needed to deal with since the breakup. I'm really missing him today. He was my BEST FRIEND. I lost him. Its hurting me like hell, and I'm so angry that I let him go for a party scene with friends that REALLY aren't even friends at all. The anger is eating me up sometimes. I'm trying to find ways to deal with my anger - like listen to my mp3 player, which I just found out is broken, probably freakin melted in my car on one of the hot days here.. *sigh*... i put some music on and my roommate comes and turns it right down theres no point to listen to it. I hate her. Then I wanted to watch the daily mass on the computer but I can't even get that to work. I can't even just lay in bed and go to sleep cuz shes got some dumb guy over and I keep hearing 'noises' from their room. Good heavens.. I'm ready to pack my car and drive back to the city TOMORROW where I at least have some REAL friends. God, Life SUCKS right now..........

I have a friend that gets stood up all the time. I'm not sure why, but she is a very nice sweet, beautiful person, and she always gets stood up. I also realized she kinda tries too hard...she doesn't really play all that hard to get, so maybe that has something to do with it. I think also sometimes guys just want one night stands or they want sex and if they don't think they are going to get it from you thats when u get stood up. I could be wrong but I kinda have a philosophy about that.

I had a SO want me back once. I don't know how long it took him to come to that conclusion, but he said it was after he tried dating someone else and all he could think about was me. It took us a year and a half later before we tried to make something of it. It was a mistake. If I had my choice, I shouldn't have taken him back. Moving on is a good thing -there is a reason you broke up in the first place. Remember that.

I have no idea what it is. I wouldn't even know where to start to look it up - i don't even know what his apartment building is called. I've only sent him mail through the post once and i never bothered to write down his address. NOt to worry, I emailed him a short and sweet note that said I had his documents and if he wanted me to get them back to him let me know. He replied back and asked if i could drop them off on my way through town when i move back to my town. why he didn't just give me his mailing address is beyond me. I've really been missing him this past couple days. I've been really lonely - just laying on the couch watching tv trying to get over strep throat. And I miss how much he used to care about me when things like this went down.

Well, I'm not going to continue seeing this new guy. I'm leaving in a weeks time and Im certainly not doing a long distance relationship with someone I don't know. Besides that, having strep throat I have enough decency to not get him sick. Anyways, just a quick question - i was digging through my papers today to find my healthcare stuff and i found some important documents I must have accidentally grabbed from my ex's apartment. there are some tax forms and phone bills and stuff. I'm currently on no contact with him - would it be mean if I didn't call him to tell him about it? I really don't care myself I could rip them up and throw them away but i certainly don't want to hang on to them. I also have his "lucky" sweater and I have no clue why he gave it to me in the first place if he really doesn't love me but i don't feel like calling him to give it back to him. I don't know his mailing address so its not like i can just mail this stuff. He told me never to call him again because he will not answer my calls or reply to my emails.

Great decision Brando - I am still in the quitting process myself. I actually quit for a couple weeks until life started getting whacko on me and I kind of started again - but i bought a pack of cigs for a friend at work that smokes and so she just gives them to me at work when i need them. I have faith that you can do it - it takes a lot of determination and willpower but just keep telling yourself smoking is not an option and you will get through it good luck

The new guy called like 8 times while i was at the movie. He wants to see me tonight. BUT ----- I just came down with a strep throat... HOw more messed up can this week get???

Thanks for your replies. I'm trying not to rush into anything with the new guy as I am only here for another week and I gotta admit I went to see him last night to help me get over my now ex.. its sad. My father says that there is a possibility that he was just using me until something better came along. Typical dad to make his little girl feel better by saying stuff like that. But I do think he has a point - and hes done this to me before too. Anyways - to top it all off I'm totally getting stood up tonight - the new guy asked me a million times if I would go see a movie with him and that he would call me at 6:30 tonight but of course he hasn't called. So me and my girls are going to the movie anyways. BUt man, getting broken up with AND stood up in one week? Karma really comes back to bite you in the ***. Or maybe I just have terrible luck. I'm seriously considering getting a couple more cats and calling it quits to dating. I miss my kitties so much right now

I went out with them last night. Oh, I wasn't going to, I had decided not to, but then I got a call from my boyfriend and he BROKE UP WITH ME!! Which leads me to the question of WHY I did it the other night? We have been having some problems with our relationship, I was starting to lose trust in him and faith in us. And, I guess it was partially the friend I am living with now, not that she convinced me to do it, but I can't really explain just the thrill of going out on the town with the girls and having a good time. I don't know. I know that doesn't make any sense. Anyways, He broke up with me, I have no idea why, He didn't know about what I did last night, maybe he sensed it but I don't know. He said it was because he has put so much time and commitment into it and he doesn't think I love him. I was really upset. Then those boys called to go out. So we did, I needed to get over him. I ended up spending the night over there (no sex though). I couldn't stop thinking about my now EX all night. So even making out with him didn't really happen, we just cuddled. Oh and then I went and stole his hoodie when I left this morning ( I do intend on returning it) But i was cold and it smells good and its totally a comfort thing, I love wearing it and I don't know why.

OK - I know I'm totally going to get bashed for this, but for some reason feeling the need to confess? I don't know. I cheated on my bf last night. I don't want to create excuses, cuz I don't believe there is any valid reason for what I did. We are trying to go through a Long Distance relationship and lately we've been distant. I finally met a REALLY good friend in this town, I was lonely for a long time, and she and I have been hanging out everyday. WEll last night we got really drunk, went to the bar, and got hit on by these guys that were both roommates as well, and we ended up going back to their room for makeout session. ARGH... I feel so bad. NOthing happened past kissing. The worst thing is the boys want to take us out for a dinner and a movie tonight and if it were up to me I would just not have anything to do with him anymore but my friend really likes her guy and I need to go along on this double date for safety reasons, by her request. I am going to see my bf in a few days and I know I'm going to be unable to look him in the eyes knowing what I did but I don't know how to tell him i messed up. We really love each other and it would devastate our relationship if he found out.

why not move out there with him? Does he HAVE to move with his mom? what about your career focuses.. where do u both plan to end up in the future

when i was on welbutrin i got really nautious and stomach aches and kind of uneasy feeling. I only took it for a couple months but i couldn't stand it. I got the sore throat thing when I quit smoking so if you recently quit smoking that might be the cause of that.

My boyfriend is the one that does all the driving when we are together and I dont' feel guilty about it. He likes driving and I hate driving in the city so it works out good. But we DO take turns driving to go visit each other. I think its really nice of your girlfriend to come pick you up and I can see how you feel guilty but I don't think you need to feel that way. She has already expressed that she enjoys seeing you that is the reason she does this. Maybe you can fill up her gas tank once in awhile or pay for her dinner or movie wherever you guys go and that would kind of make up for it. I also think you should work towards getting your drivers license, is there someone that can teach you or maybe take a driving class or something. That way she knows you are working towards it and it isn't going to be that way forever.

Being that I have been in a lot of bad relationships in the past, I am having trouble trusting my current boyfriend. He is a wonderful guy, and is totally in love with me. But I'm always scared that it is not going to work out, for whatever reason. One thing that does bother me, is that he works a lot of overtime. Well, at least he says he does. Which is fine with me. I have no suspicions here, and I completely trust him in regards to anything like cheating. Reason being, is because he still phones me every single night, we talk on the phone for hours. And he drives out a 3 hour drive to come visit me on the weekend. We see each other nearly every weekend. But the reason the OT thing bothers me is because I know when I do live with him, that is going to bother me because I'll always be waiting for him to come home and not knowing when hes gonna come home will bother me a lot. Jumping into the future again. (I'm kind of drunk here). The thing that is most hurtful to this relationship is that we don't necessarily argue, but we are still getting to know each other on a deeper level, and so we are still working on things. And we end up having discussions, and I start to lose trust that this relationship is really going to work out in the long run. I know we've only been dating a couple months but because we've known each other for so long we are starting to talk about living together (which won't happen for at least a year, maybe longer), and getting married and such. He says it bothers him when I question our relationship and when I don't trust him. Then theres the sex thing. It took me a long time to trust him in bed and I'm still getting used to that ( because of recent abuse in the past) and he has been most patient but i think it really bothers him that I am not trusting him when he has been nothing but good to me. Hes a great guy. I guess I just need help on how I can trust him more and believe in US and let my hurt feelings go, and also, how to get through this long distance relationship which like I said its going to be another year, maybe 2. Due to our career focuses we have to be in different cities for a little while.

I think it is great that you are recognizing your feelings of wanting to commit suicide, reaching to others for support (your mom and your therapist) and admitting that you need professional help. That is the first step to overcoming what you are going through. If you can't find a way to talk to your mom, sometimes it is hard, then at least tell your therapist, they are trained to deal with these situations and they can help you out. I hop eyou can find a way to sit down and confide in your mom as well. She will want to help you. If you need anything, feel free to PM me. I know what you are going through. I went through this myself, I had a couple years I was really suicidal and if you need someone to share experiences with and I can offer you soem advice on how i got through it. I hope you feel better... good luck..

Hey, I'm glad you are getting through this. It is going to get easier and easier as time progresses. HOpe you are feeling ok.

i started putting in movies and learned how to knit a sweater. I also got pets, I started out with a fishie and then i got 2 cats and they keep me company, especially at night when they come snuggle in my bed and keep me warm.

So , did you go to the meeting? HOw was it?

well, there are many ways to choose, make a pros and cons list, flip a coin, etc, but sometimes you just KNOW who u want to be with more than the other person. When you are sitting alone at night who do you find yourself thinking about? Whos house would you rather to go over to visit? Who would you want to call you? The other question you want to answer is which guy treats you the best.. If you seriously can't choose between the two guys then maybe its because you are not that into either of them. Are you sure its just not a matter of not wanting to hurt the other person?

Its possible one of her friends might have confronted her about talking on the phone while they are over. I know I get really annoyed when my friends talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes when I am over and on some occasions I have simply walked out and found something else to do for the night rather than sit and listen to someone talk on the phone. But yea it could be anything so don't read into it badly maybe ask her about it next time you talk to her, just say "hey you seemed really rushed when i talked to u last is everything alright?"

OK, but does your ex know that u are supposed to show up at this meeting? Cuz it would look worse if you didn't show up (he would think u are afraid to see him) than if you just showed up and acted as if nothing happened between you two.

Ok, so you are going to let an ex-boyfriend stand in the way of you LIVING your life??? You seriously need to face this situation. You CAN go, be positive about it. Honestly, just be professional, don't bring any personal feelings into it, just think of it as strictly business and thats it. Don't show him you are angry, just act calm and happy. Why did you two break up? What is it that is scaring you so much about facing him? What is the worst that is going to happen?

I'm going to have to be the only one disagreeing with this situation. I lived with a boyfriend for a couple years before we broke up. I don't think it was healthy for our relationship> We ended up being roommates and not a couple and thats how we broke up. I know people say you can learn all aobut the other person, living habits and such, but i would wait until marriage. I don't think I will move in with a boyfriend again until i have a ring on my finger. A friend of mine used that as a rule with her relationship, she refused to mvoe in with her man (even though he asked her lots of times) until they were married. They have a very healthy and stable marriage.

Hey, don't give up. I am usually a shy person too, and its ok to be shy. The thing is you are looking at life in such a dark way, and all that is doing is making you feel worse. Trust me, I used to be there. I used to be so negative. So the first thing you need to do is find 5 things to be thankful for every day. Write them down. Secondly, you need to reflect on what your interests are. When you are alone what kinds of things do you like to do? And don't just spend tons of time watching tv/playing games, etc, find something you can work on, learn a musical instrument, do some sketching, or some writing. It will make you feel so much better. If you have some close friends lean on them for support. Talk to the people here on this site. Its ok to get depressed its just a matter of finding someone to listen, maybe even try counselling, you could find a good counsellor that will help you sort out your feelings and emotions. HOpe you feel better.

You should go to the meeting. Its strictly for professional reasons and if you do see your ex there just maintain your professional appearance in front of your boss and don't say too much to him. Just stay calm and relaxed, its just a business meeting, it'll all go fine.