woobiegirl

Hello murrman, Sorry to hear about your situation, but I agree with sonjam. If the the two of you lived in different states, I would understand not meeting, but an hour is certainly not out of the question. If she keeps postphoning a meeting, then ask her to e-mail you a picture, although that doesn't guarantee it's the same person either. Sad to say, but the internet has it's risks as well as positive side and allot of people are married or not who they say so I would be careful. You have created feelings from shared words and although that is a good start, keep an open mind that stalling is a sign of "something is not right". Take care, Woobiegirl

I'm sorry to hear about your discomfort. Please check out the attached site which might help answer some of your concerns. If it continues on a regular basis, you should mention it to your Dr. upon your next visit. I do think though, that it's more related to your puberty growing stage combined with the fact that you have larger breasts for your age which can contribute to a throbbing pain & lower back pain from the weight. link removed take care, Woobiegirl

murrayfaces, Very good points you brought up. Depending on how long a relationship lasted, I'd say you can have up & down peaks at least up to a year. I know what you mean about knowing in your heart you have made the right decision by moving on, but at times it feels lonely. Although you've moved on with your life, and in general all is well, I used to get an empty feeling when I came home. It's not so much that I missed this person, it's more that I missed the "lifestyle" we shared. You just can't throw away years worth of memories that were built together which included the ex, family & friends. Feels as if these memories come back to haunt you forever. As far as knowing when it's time to try again? It's probably different for each person, but after dating someone for 9 years I didn't think I had the energy to invest so I took 4 years off and focused on my life i.e. building my career, working out (got super fit), made new friends, etc. Sure, it was lonely at times, but for the most part I was very content. I read something that hit home & it's so true. It said to make the most out of every minute of your own special time to yourself & the freedom you have because eventually you will meet someone & you don't want to regret not enjoying your independence. I'm not saying you can't have independence while in a relationship...it's just different. You will know when your ready to test the waters again. When I felt that my personal life was in order & my thoughts were on a positive track, I knew I was ready to let someone into my life again. Good luck you, Woobiegirl...

Flea, two good points. Don't start getting your mind in the negative mode though, but no one knows your b/f as well as you do. If he's ususally pretty rationale & doesn't jump to conclusions then there could be more too it. It doesn't mean anything overly serious, maybe he partied a bit more than he ususally does & has a bit of a guilt complex, or it could be he discovered how strong his feelings are for you when he saw you that night and got jealous? Just guessing on my part, but don't discount your women's intuition...it's stronger than most women will admit to so I've learned to just put it on the table & talk about it. It's allot better than letting it eat you up inside. If it makes you feel better...contact him & tell him you think the two of you should meet and talk. It's always easier for one of the two to put their "pride" aside and make the 1st move. Don't worry, it'll work out! good luck, Woobiegirl

Beec, That's a great outlook to have. I always went on my 1st date without expectations other than to have a nice time, meet someone new & make a new friend. Guess I was just dwelling on the fact that with a little x-tra caution, you can avoid some of the dishonest ones, but then you can meet them anywhere....right? Thanks for the great advice! We've certainly given piscesprincess some food for thought. Woobiegirl

Sorry, I don't agree that it falls into a "shady" catagory. I understand you're saying that perhaps because it wasn't during the daytime hours, it could possibly be viewed that way. The fact that he may have talked to some girls while out with the boys & her talking to a male friend shouldn't be considered "shady". After all, I don't feel we should have go through life not talking to the opposite sex or giving up friends that are the opposite sex when we get into a relationship, that's not necessarily healthy either. (especially if it was your friend prior to the relationship) It really depends on how strong the trust is between two people and each of their self esteem. Woobiegirl

Hey Beec, Let me re-phrase... I agree that it's not necessary to correspond back & forth for a long period of time before meeting. Like you said, you can't replace face to face to know whether there is chemistry or not...some things just can't be done via internet. My points in my post were made more from lessons I personally learned from my experiences so I learned to "ask" for additional info first like exchanging some pictures & talking over the phone. It was when I didn't do that in the beginning that several of my 1st meetings became disappointments. Example, I met a few men who had similar interests & had fun, active good looking pics posted...but when they walked up to me I didn't know they were the same person. (I would have never recognized them....like a head of hair in the photo & bald when I met them) None of those issues would have really mattered had they been more honest upfront....after all, it's not like your NOT going to notice the difference?? I have a male friend who was chatting with a girl on-line but never talked with her over the phone prior to meeting...when he did meet her every other word was a cuss word. LOL. Had he talked w/her he would have known it wasn't his type of girl. Unfortunately he had to listen to this all during their dinner & then couldn't drop her off fast enough. Using good judgement is important as well as staying safe ....about 6 months ago in Orlando a girl went to a guy's house for the 1st meeting that she met via internet dating & he attacked her while trying to choke her... but luckily she managed to get out of the house with only bruises & being scared to death. Point is, after a few unsuccessful meetings you wil learn to get wiser on your own & figure out how to prevent them. Personally, a few extra steps prevented some bad nights out... as I'd rather stay home in that case. By the way, I heard allot of the same stories as yours...about the weight factor, but then it only takes (1) special person, so you just never know until you try. Overall, it's still a great way to meet people. I still stay in contact with many great people I met from all over the world that I've never met but remained friends with. thanks, Woobiegirl...

You have a healthy outlook on the situation...after all, we don't think "guilty" thoughts when we don't do guilty things. You can't really catagorize it under a "misunderstanding" since he jumped to the wrong conclusion and didn't give you the courtesy of a deserved explanation. Like I said, you were sitting outside, you didn't even think twice of the fact he was probably on his way over and more than likely would have introducted him to your friend had he given you a fair chance to have the opportunity. Lesson well learned...things aren't always what they appear to be, maybe we shouldn't always jump to the wrong conclusion first?? Let us know how it went. Let him stew awhile, I'm sure he's ok, but if anyone owes someone an apology, it would be nice if he told you that it just caught him off guard, he got a little jealous and drop the whole thing. After all, there really wasn't a reason to call him out of the blue @ 5 am just to let him know a friend came over becasue he's a male.

It might be "cute at first...but then after awhile the "checking" would get old. It sounds like he has trust issues, maybe not from you, but from past relationships. On his behalf though, dating someone who has an ex in the picture because of children can bring out jealousy issues or just take time to realize that's exactly what they are "Ex's". It's either going to get better after he realizes you do not have any hidden agendas and that your relationship with you ex is built only around your child you share and that's not going to go away anytime soon...so he'll either have to come to terms with it or it will cause friction in your relationship. If he has trust issues in general...then that's not healthy either. Can you sit down and open up your feelings & thoughts to him? Best wishes, Woobiegirl

Yes, I did for over a year. I met some great men who like me, were tired of the games & bar scene. Not only that, it gives you the opportunity to meet people with the same interests that you would probably never bump into otherwise. I found though, that you need to take it slow, take time to correspond via e-mail, exchange pictures, & talk over the phone before meeting (it will tell you allot more than IM'ing) When you do meet for the 1st time, make it a "short" meeting in a public spot. That way if he/she isn't what you expected, neither of you are stuck there for 4-5 hours, and if the meeting is better than expected..you can always extend it. Also remember, not everyone is really who or what they say in their post and I have heard some pretty funny stories (they weren't funny at the time) ....about people who met and the pictures they had on their site were 10 + years old, they actually weighted 200 lbs instead of the 120 they had on their profile, or worse scenerio that they're dangerous...etc. I always asked for a "current photo" and met for a quick drink or @ a coffee shop after work to start. You wouldn't want to meet someone new that you don't get a good vibe from...then be stuck having to have dinner & take in a movie. My end results were very positive, and I'm happy to say that I met my b/f on-line "yahoo singles" and we are now living together. You may want to check out more than one Single site as each has their own group of members & you never know which one may have that special someone for you. American Singles is also a good one. Good luck & be careful Woobiegirl

Hi judochick, I think it's pretty cool you are that good! You never know when it could save your life...not to mention a great work out! I took 5 years of Karate myself & won a 3rd place trophy in a competition..(against a guy)...it's not all about strength as you know. You're right...he should be proud of you. It's definitely about ego, ...even if he says "you were lucky"...he knows your good, but just doesn't want to admit it. But I guess in his defense, it would be hard to admit you lost a wrestling match to your g/f...LOL, but it's not like your going to announce it to all his friends. Whatever you decide, I sure wouldn't lose on purpose...there's no need to supress your talents. Tell him getting pinned could have it's benefits... Good luck, Woobiegirl

Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it takes time away & be with someone else in order to realize what you really had was the best to begin with. That's the risk in testing the waters to see if it's greener on the other side. Not everyone gets a second chance. Woobiegirl

Flea, It's all about trust. You don't need to run after him proving you're innocence...you are innocent. After all, you were sitting outside w/your friend and it's not like you rushed you're friend off before your b/f came over....you had nothing to hide. You had trust in his going out all night, why shouldn't he trust you talking to an old friend. Let him cool off, tell him if he want's to lose you over nothing (other than maybe his insecurity) it's his decision. I'm sure it just startled him...but I would bet it opened his eyes to how important you are to him. Give him some time...he'll come around. good luck, Woobiegirl

I can understand your frustration. I agree with Gilgamesh...go ahead and send the flowers, after all...you are showing your true feelings and your Anniversary is still "real" and your addressing it. I"m afraid that I do think his comment about dealing with it when he gets back is an exuse. An Anniversary is a very special and romantic time...so by spending this time with you it may have made him uncomfortable (pressure) since it sounds as if he doesn't know where his feelings are right now. It seems that the expressions "I need to time to figure things out" is overused and what it might really stand for is..."I'm not sure if I want to continue in this relationship but don't know how to end it or want to hurt you"... It's good your goal oriented...so keep busy, make your own happiness and don't sit by the phone. Go on with your life...don't put it on hold. Hope it works out for you, Woobiegirl

Hello notsonaive, Based on what you wrote, I'm glad I'm out of school Seriously though, you brought up allot of good points and yes, Stress is probably the #1 killer for Americans, one of the reasons many people are on perscriptions, not to mention the way it affects our health. We actually create our own fast paced life though if you think about it... most everyone is busy rushing from one place to another, meeting deadlines, keeping way too busy (never enought time) and then we try to learn "time management" so we can take on more stress...?? Think about it though, we are all in charge of our own life/destination so-to-speak. We can chose our career, whether we want to get married, have kids, get a dog, buy a house, a car...the list goes on. Problem is, we always want a bigger house, a fancier car, a bigger boat...etc. Perhaps if we slowed down a bit to enjoy what we already have, i.e. the people around us, the world arounds us, ...life would be a bit easier. I've been to the top (& bottom) of my life....and the one thing I've learned is, it's not the material things that count, it's the memories you make that are priceless. Way to go...let me know if you run for president some day. Woobiegirl

Hey June, Depends on a couple of things...were you put on them by your Dr. to regulate your cycle or as a birth control (pregnancy precaution)? Your system will need time to adjust....a few months I would think, then it should become consistent. Same applys to women who have been on them for years and stop to try and get pregnant, it can take 6 months for your system to get adjusted again. If it doesn't stop, I'd call your Dr....but I know it affects everyone a little differently. hope that helps, Woobiegirl

I haven't tried the wax removal...it looks too painful Shaving works well, but if you want a smooth finish for bathing suit season it's best to wet the area w/warm/hot water, lots of shaving cream, use only a sharp & new razor, shave in diferent strokes ...like up, then down...you can feel the rough areas....and be careful!! Woobiegirl

Lewis, Welcome to eNotAlone! Glad you decided to post after doing some reading...it sure can help us expand our way of thinking, don't you agree? It sounds like the two of you make a great couple and your careers are on the move...maybe it was just a matter of the timing being a bit off, include the outside pressures, some adjustments to living together, late hours on a new job, & she might not have had time to make new friends yet...etc., could have played a part in the split. You're post sounds positive in the fact that it sounds like you're talking fairly regularly . Plus, your talking & sharing your thoughts about the problems and/or solutions. I think you're 6-7 month split and casual dating has made you both realize (or confirm) each other's special qualities. Special people who touch are lives in the real sense of love don't come around often. Your feeling that love if whoever you date, ..no matter how special they are, all you can do is think of her (or vise versa). That's a good thing...it sounds like you're off to a great start. Hope it works out for both of you, let us know Woobiegirl

You've found the perfect place to vent your heart out... Good for you by being the "bigger/better" person and showing respect for his family. No purpose in making others suffer for his actions. Good you're keeping busy and like you said, you'll enjoy their company, the real issue is his leaving. So how long have the two of you been married? Any idea what may have sent him over the edge and leave? Wise decision not to make any rash decisions right now, that time will come soon enough & in the meantime keep very busy and give him some time to miss you. Keep your cool at work, and take care of yourself! Better to vent on this site than to co workers...they NEVER seem to forget this stuff after you've long worked it out. Woobiegirl

First, It's not your responsibility to take in his sister & baby, after all...she will probably feel a bit uncomfortable visiting under these conditions anyway. Is it too late to contact her to cancel the trip? If he's mad at you for being responsible by contacting his sister, then tell him they can stay with him, if that's not possible...well, then he's going to need to put them up in a hotel? He's being avaisive, but at the same time doesn't want his sister to know he's in the wrong. I feel sorry for his sister, and unless the two of you are good friends, you really are not responsible. As far as the information you're looking for from you husband, ....the signs may have been there for some time, you have just coped with them. It sounds as if he may have some underlying issues (ie depression, perhaps even a drinking problem) ....for some it's easier to run that stand up and face it. Hopefully he has an option to go to the doctor and will take advantage of it & talk about it. Sometimes people get overwelmed, outside pressures from work, stress, money....etc. can break someone. That's the time you need to evaluate what the two of you have had together and whether it would be good for you to stand behind him to overcome his running away. If though, on the other hand he's spent most of your marriage taking and not giving back...well, then he may have done you a favor...as hard as that is to realize now. Think about what YOU want...what do you want for your future, can you have this future with him? Is it going to be constant work and a struggle? Sometimes you just have to let go...no matter how much you love someone, if it's not the right person for YOU...it's doomed to fail at some point. Take care of yourself, feel free to pm any of us if you need to talk. Woobiegirl

Hi and welcome to eNotAlone! I'm very sorry you are experiencing so much pain right now in your life, but you have come to the right site to share your feelings, as well as talk with with others who have perhaps gone through the same (or still are). Suicide is never the answer, not only would you be cheating yourself out of the life God gave you, but someday you will meet someone special in your life....your soulmate, who is waiting for you. It's hard to say why some people are given so many challenges throughout their life..., but perhaps you were hand chosen to become strong and were put on earth for a very special reason. We are all special in our own way and serve a purpose in our individual ways with the people that cross our paths during our lifetime. As bleak as things look to you now, what about a year or two from now...our lives change so quickly...you never know what lies ahead, we have no guarantees...but you must give yourself a chance. If you are not happy now, and know the reasons why....then please try to change your direction & take your future into your own hands and move forward to change it to positive. Please take some time and browse through other posts....especially this one by....XxBury me DeepxX called "This is only the beginning". Somehow where there is a will, we get the strength to make it through those unbearable times....and by doing that we become stronger & we, in turn can help guide others. You can pm anyone of us if you ever feel the need to talk. take care... Woobiegirl

Try this website... link removed it offers teen work & summer jobs. The lawn service should be a good idea, maybe post flyers in local churches (for elderly who can't cut their own lawns) and will need driveway's shoveled as well during winter months. You can also try targeting marketing agencies who want flyers disbributed to homes, retails stores or placed on car windshields. If you have the urge to become an "Entrepreneur"...you can build a Clientele by offering "pet sitting" (taking care of people's pets while they are out of town)....but you will need to show responsibility and after you have built your reputation, you can use them as a "reference". Or, perhaps homes and retaile stores who need their window's cleaned. Good luck! Woobiegirl

Jonny, This must be a very hard time for you. It doesn't sound like you have had a chance for closure yet. Instead, you got a phone call that just turned your world upsidedown. Can you write your g/f a letter? Maybe even offer to sit with her parents & talk about your future together, especially if her parents were giving her a down payment for her house. Tell her you've made some mistakes and realize being flexible is important and would she consider to meet with you and talk. If she still decides to call it quites you will then respect her decisions, but not to throw away 3 wonderful years without giving it a fair chance. Good luck to you, Woobiegirl

I agree with everyone who said "Absolutely NOT!" I strongly agree with what Tinker said... This to him could be looked at as a "challenge"...and 1 week sure isn't long enough to get his nose out of joint (or anything else ) & pressure you. You'll know when it's the right man, and he'll be honored to find such a special gal. If he doesn't agree with that (especially after only 1 week, not like it's been 6 months)...he definitely is not worth it. Best wishes...stay strong & make your own decision when you're ready. Woobiegirl

Let me begin by saying you are an amazing young lady! You have experienced bigger life "tests" at your fragil age than most of us will ever experience in a lifetime. It's stories like yours that snap the rest of us out of our own "feel sorry for ourselves cycles" and realize things aren't as bad as they seem. I'm glad to hear you're seeing a Therapist and that your brother has been clean for 6 months. Please always stand tall and be proud of yourself for your strength and choice to move ahead...you could have given up or done much worse. You are an inspiration for all of us to savor who we are and the people close to us. Welcome to e-NotAlone and we hope you're here to stay. Woobiegirl Angels for you....