woobiegirl

Hi, So your moving...this can be a great fresh start for you. You can make this a new beginning for yourself. Depending on where your moving to...try doing some research on the web as far as the state, the school, activities to help you get familiar with your new home town. Best of luck!! Woobiegirl....

Hi Shellysue, Welome to e-NotAlone and your 1st post. I can tell by what you wrote that you are a strong and caring person, and it sounds like you're b/f and you get along well,...with exception to the ex. It's amazing what verbal abuse can do to someone (male or female) ...they say if you hear it long enough you start to believe it. Everyone has their own way of dealing with this, and even though he probably should have put a stop to it sometime ago...now would be a good time to start. He now has a chance for a new beginning with you, (and your future new arrival) but a healthy one. I think what you're looking for is for him to stand up to her because he shouldn't have to hide the fact that he's moved on with his life. He doesn't owe her any explanations anymore regarding his personal life. If they have contact, it should be strictly about the children. If she's that violent...then he can consider getting a restraining order. You've probably spooked him by backing off...he's scared and he get's his strength from you right now. He's going to need to step up to the base and take his stand...for both your sakes. Good luck, Woobiegirl

Hello Without a doubt she was flirting with you, try asking her out to a movie. Have Fun Woobiegirl 8)

Hello In the future when your having sex, try and think about something else. That is only until you please her. After that you can put your thoughts back where they belong. This might help give you some playing power. Woobiegirl 8)

When you say officially dating, I'm assuming you've both agreed to be exclusive. If so, at this stage of the relationship there typically has been some sort of intimacy. I would tell her exactly what you wrote in your post. It was written from your heart and obviously showing affection is important to you, whether in public or private. There are people that do not like to show affection in public....so I'd suggest having a heart to heart with her. She may just be on the shy side and waiting for you to make the first move, although it sounds like you've already tried. Or, she may just like to take things slow, which isn't a bad thing either. What happens if you reach out to hold her hand in public? Sounds like you enjoy each other's company, so talking things over is always a good start. Best wishes, Woobiegirl

Chocolate covered strawberries can be fun..... link removed or the cookie bouquets are fun too. link removed Have fun, Woobiegirl

Yes, I would say that If your b/f waited until you were in route to his house before he finally thought about reaching you to tell you about his change of plans, then I'd say he owes you an apology. It doesn't sound like a spur of the moment decision if he left earlier in the week, he had plenty of time to reach you at home if you don't have a cell phone. Even if you had a cell....calling you when you're already on a 1 1/2 road trip to see him is unacceptable. I'm sure you were excited and looking forward to spending time together, especially when your plans were made ahead of time. Then, to top it off, he's rude to you over the phone when he can clearly tell that you're upset. Age difference has no bearing on showing respect for each other. Some of his comments may have been triggered from feeling guilty that you were crying and deep down he knows he's in the wrong. If he's usually considerate, then work it out by talking to him the next time you get together, on the other hand...if this is his personlity I would move on. Even though 4 years isn't a huge gap, it may be enough difference right now with 17 & 21 because you are at different stages of your life. You're also missing out on being able to do special things together during the week with the distance factor. I think you've answered your own question when you asked..."should I be mad?" You are more than mad,...he also hurt your feelings and was inconsiderate. Hope it works out for you, Woobiegirl.....

Hello H&P, It sounds as if auburnslp will be able to give you some first-hand advice, especially from his own personal experience, the best kind! Since I've sort of followed your posts, I thought I'd write a few words & add my 2 cents too. Sorry about your divorce, especially for the complications that come along with it. Although, something beautiful did come out of it...your daughter, you are absolutely right in wanting it to be as un-disruptive as possible at her tender young age, after all...she loves you both and doesn't understand what is going on. Unfortunately, its impossible to control what the other partner is doing and/or saying when the "you know what" is hitting the fan. With all this chaos going on, you probably haven't had much desire in the past 7 months to date or even consider starting a new relationship. Because you work with this girl and probably see her daily, it's given you a chance to slowly become friends, and before you know it...you are looking forward to seeing her again. Why? Because she listens to you, she smiles & is happy to see you, is understanding, etc. which in turn makes you feel special...all the things you are missing in your life right now. You never know when that right person may step into your life, sometimes it's not when we planned it to be...such in your case. If she knows about your divorce and some of the challenges your going to face...and shows an interest in you and you in her, I would say you are very lucky to have met someone that nice even if turn's out to be temporary. You are right, however, it can & will complicate your divorce if you end up going through with it. But, If you still have hopes of reconciling, then I'd suggest not bringing a 3rd party into it. It wouldn't be fair for her or your wife. Although, ...you also wouldn't want your wife to come back just because she's learned you've met someone...then the real problem hasn't been resolved. You have allot of valid questions/concerns about starting a new realtionship right now, and that's good! But also think of it this way...if you feel different with this new girl, like sharing, talking and other important special things you didn't feel between you & you're wife, then it just might be that if your wife did want to come back...you may not be interested. As much as we don't want a divorce in our life...sometimes we have to realize we were not with the right person...and no matter how hard you try, it will never be right. It's when you separated that you learn what may have been missing all along, or someone new will make you realize you what you've been missing. If it doesn't work, you've still learned what it is that you want in a relationship and what it is you won't do without. Feeling like a school kid is great.. You're doing your homework...so enjoy, keep an open mind and heart. Wishing you the best, Woobiegirl....

Hi Luciana, You've had a 6 year realtionship with this man, ...that means you have helped raise his daughter since she's been 7 years old. I would imagine the 3 of you (inluding any of your children) have formed a special bond between all of you. Stepchildren will always have an affect on relationships, and realtionships w/always have an affect on stepchildren...as Lovelorn so wisely said..."his daughter is at a very vulnerable place in life right now and is still a kid". The only person who should be held responsible for changing the fact that you feel like a "third wheel" is her dad...your b/f. If he's not the "sweetie, baby, darling, honey type...then I'd say he's saying these things to his daughter to cover any guilt he may be feeling from not spending enough time with her. I would bet if he held both your hands when the 3 of you are out and about, & kept a balance of attention and affection between the two of you, and made a point to tell you he loved you and showed you affection in front of his daughter' it would be a very happy household. As Tinker said, you don't sound like the angry, jealous girfriend....and you wouldn't have anything to feel jeaulous about if he would be a little more sensitive to your feelings, tell you he understood and would try to work on it. Somtimes we just want to hear..."your right"...I'm sorry, I'll try to do better. Don't let him get make you feel guilty by his defensiveness....it might be time to take a good look at your relationship and see where it's at after 6 years. It might be time you two added some zest, romance, private get-a-ways, excitement, or quality time alone...make sure your relationship isn't losing it's spark or that you aren't taking each other for granted. A six year realtionship would be a shame to walk away from without one more good try!! Good luck!! Woobiegirl

Hi Fantasia, Try this site...it has some really great points for job hunting. link removed;jsessionid=ANR8PwDxVBQiO4Jws7nJdDzaTeraOH1FUHpIbo2GBjCENXD1CI2d!-78187132!137992128 When I was career hunting I went to a bookstore and browsed the "career help" section. I picked up a life-saver book called "100 of the hardest interview questions" Reading this book really helped, and each company I interviwed with asked questions related to what was in this book. I read the book and mentally prepared answers, which truly made a diference as some of these questions can catch you off guard. Here's another site that might help, it also gives great response suggestions to those tricky questions. The research pays off and you'll find the more interviews you go on the more comfortable you will bcome. Be sure to always take a pad for notes & always ask at least a couple of questions about the job your applying for. I do quite a bit of hiring at my company and don't believe the deciding factor is just about the knowedge of the position, but also the drive and initiative you show during the interview. If the person you're looking to hire has that "energy & spark", you can always provide training for the job. link removed Good luck and let me know if you have any othe questions. Your resume is also an important factor (short & to the point) along with a strong cover letter. Woobiegirl...

I'm so sorry for what your going through and you've certainly come to the right place to vent! As far as your friends, that's what good friends are for. It works both ways...and at some point they will count on you to be there for them too. Regarding the title to your post "Why do I still love?" It's because when we are the one who uncondionally loves someone, and that love is literally whipped away (like a rug from under our feet) we are left with trying to figure our what happened. Yes, right now you are full of unanswered questions as you mentioned in your post, but be prepared not to get all the answers, especially honest ones since she wasn't honest with you about why she needed space. As hard as it is, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of asking about "why"...I don't think she deserves your time and effort any longer. I understand how confusing it is when they tell you all these wonderful things about how your the best and greatest person alive ...and in the meantime their actions say something different. And you know what? You STILL are that wonderful, special & caring person she was bragging about because YOU were the "honest" one in your relationship. Cheating is so hard to forgive because it's the most hurtful violation one can do in a relationship...all else can be worked through. Give it some time, pack up her stuff and get it out of your sight....and you may be surprised later that she may contact you because life isn't always greener on the other side. Here is a perfect example... Sounds a bit unreasonable to me that he's yelling in the back groud already as a new b/f in her life. After all, it's not unusual that she may still have to have contact with you to sort out a few things. He's either a very jealous guy or on the controlling side to make a scene while she's on the phone. So, ...he may not be as special in those quality areas that you were, and she'll find that out in time....but hopefully you will have moved on and/or have met someone who recognizes all your special qualities that will be appreciated. As hard as it is, try to change your thought process and not let your mind play tricks by visualizing things that can ruin something as good as Fruity Pebbles You will see with time it all actually worked out for the best...be thankful you didn't invest more years or even worse by getting married. I've realized that when negative things happened in my past relationships there was a good reason....it made it clear that this wasn't the person worth investing time and effort into and definitely didn't deserve my love. The choice is yours, do what's best for yourself! Wishing you the best, Woobiegirl...

I agree with joshs & may about there not being a "set timeframe" to feel love for someone, but I do think at times these "3 very special words" are used too freely. I, like you, can't just say them back if the feeling isn't there or I'm not ready, which that can make it a bit uncomfortable if your being told...and your not sure how to reply. I would probably have to say I'm flattered, and I care very much for you too, (if you do that is) and I'm looking forward to growing closer as we spend time together. You have a good point about her having a b/f 2 months ago who didn't treat her right and you are obviously doing the opposite which is sweeping her off of her feet. It's good you realize that, so take your time if you like being with this person...Time will tell, it always does. Good luck, Woobiegirl....

Hi May, Some of the answers your looking for may depend on how long you've been dating your b/f and how he feels about your going away for the summer. It might also be good idea for you to keep an open mind while on this trip, as it could turn out to be pretty special. I'm sure your parents are looking out for your best interest & happiness, and sometimes other's can see certain things in a clearer perspective and they may have their own reasons for wanting you to meet other people. Do they like your b/f? I wouldn't worry too much about whether the guys will know you're single or in a relationship. You might as well make new friends while your there, enjoy doing things with them and as you spend time with them the fact that you're seeing someone from home will probably come up in the conversation. It's ok to tell them that you'd like to be friends, but not looking for anything more at this time. Enjoy your trip, Woobiegirl...

JC, You've called enough times to get her attention, if she doesn't return your, call I'd give it a break for awhile since she also has your # and most likely has a record of your call if she has caller ID. I'd be silent for awhile... Good luck, Woobiegirl

Hey shockedndismayed...I liked your advice. I meant to bring up one of your points myself where you said he really did it for "himself", you're so right about that, if your mind is healthy you'll make better choices. and John.... 0X ...cross your fingers and promise to let us know the good news. We're going to be in suspense until August ourselves now. best wishes, Woobiegirl

Hey John, You should go find out or you'll always wonder...and probably drive yourself wondering what would have happened. Not knowing can be worse than knowing sometimes. Besides, the camp sounds like a fun thing to do. You mentiond talking allot with her these days, does that mean you haven't actually seen her in person since last year? You have 3 great things going for you...1. She said she would like to go out with you again 2nd: her friends agree that she cares for you and 3rd, you have a fresh outlook, confidence and with these wonderful gifts I'm sure she will see how sincere you are. Stop the negative thoughts, they won't take you anywhere but down...you have way too much positiveness going for you. We all make mistakes, but it takes a special person to admit them. Good luck! Let us know how it went... Woobiegirl

Mix Maxster - You sound like a pretty special guy, too bad some people have to learn the hard way. Resentment is never the answer anyway and I've always believed that good karma comes back eventually. t-dog - I can really relate to your feelings because I did the same when I was 21 and lived a very successful life, but something was missing. Your guy sounds pretty cool though where mine was all the things you mentioned except fun! Fun is so important to me...so after 13 years I ended up leaving it all behind. My friends thought I lost my mind since I had a 200 acre estate and all the trimmings to go with it...but none of it matters if your not happy. I've never regretted my decision even with all the $$$ hurdles I had to get over by myself. fantasia & ang - I definitely prefer Dr. Phil...Judge Judy must find her people that come on the show from the old "Jerry Springer" shows... good luck everone.. Woobiegirl

Your right! Dr. Phil is a great show because he tells it like it is...and it can be an eye opener for everyone. Sounded like a perfect show for your ex to watch, maybe you could order a copy of the tape and send it to her good luck, Woobiegirl

Great additions You're going to sound like a professional!! Sebulous, I liked "what can you do for the co." When I'm filling a position a big %of what I look for in a person is enthusiasm and excitement for the job, to be flexible and eager to learn new things. You'd be surprised how many people go on interviews and don't know what your company does, didn't reasearch the business and couldn't tell you WHY they want the job, let alone remember what the requirements were...in other words they just wanted any job, ...and they're wondering why they don't get hired? Now for the really, really most important thing to remember is...this is your 1st interview, that's exciting so put on your biggest smile, have fun and look at it as a new adventure, one of many. Go get it girl... Woobiegirl

Hey Tinkerbell, In the Days Before the Interview Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper. On the left side, make a bulleted list of what the employer is looking for based on the job posting. On the right side, make a bulleted list of the qualities you possess that fit those requirements. Research the company, the industry and the competition. Prepare your 60-second personal statement: Your answer to the, "Tell me about yourself," question. Write at least five success stories to answer behavioral interview questions ("Tell me about a time when…" or "Give me an example of a time…"). List 10 questions to ask the interviewer about the job, the company and the industry. Research salary data and determine your worth. Determine your salary needs based on your living expenses -- what is your bottom line? Get permission from your references to use their names. Before You Go to the Interview Do you look professional? Check yourself in the mirror; part of your confidence will come from looking good. Carry these items to the interview: Several copies of your resume on quality paper. A copy of your references. A pad of paper on which to take notes (notes are optional). Directions to the interview site. Prepare answers to the 10 most common interview questions: Tell me about yourself. Why did you leave or are you leaving your last position? What do you know about this company? What are your goals? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Why do you want to work for this company? What has been your most significant achievement? How would your last boss and colleagues describe you? Why should we hire you? What are your salary expectations? Upon Arrival Arrive early -- enter the building 10 minutes before your appointment. Review your prepared stories and answers. Go to the restroom and check your appearance one last time. Announce yourself to the receptionist in a professional manner. Stand and greet your interviewer with a hearty -- not bone-crushing -- handshake. Smile and look into the interviewer's eyes. During the Interview Try to focus on the points you have prepared without sounding rehearsed or stiff. Relax and enjoy the conversation. Learn what you can about the company. Ask questions and listen; read between the lines. At the conclusion, thank the interviewer and determine the next steps. Ask for the interviewer's business card so you can send a follow-up letter. After the Interview As soon as possible, write down what you are thinking and feeling. Later in the day, look at what you wrote and assess how you did. Write a follow-up thank-you letter, reminding the interviewer of your qualities. Hope this helps and Good Luck!!! Let us know how you did... Woobiegirl

I'm sorry your in such a confused state of mind...but he's playing head games with you. If he meant all of the things he said while talking on messenger, he would be making an effort o meet with you in person....to express his feelings and see if there was a chance to work it out and get back together...and not tell you when he happens to catch you on line. He may very well be finding out you were the real treasure in his life and by telling you he still cares he's trying to put your life on hold in case he decides his new g/f isn't working out. But you need to consider that there's always the chance if he came back he would leave again when the mood hit him. The wondering may be worse than moving forward in the direction your heading. It isn't only about HIM....he doesn't "get it"....what he's really saying is that after he's done playing, he might want to come back...it doesn't work that way. Be sure to let him know that you have allot to offer to the right person and your not interested in being a 2nd string. He's not being straight with you OR the girl he's with now. Be grateful for the special person in your life right now, they are hard to find...but if you're not sure of your true feelings then you need to give it some honest thought. The distance is definitely adding some challenges with your current b/f. Be careful what you wish for, ...sometimes we "think" we want our ex back, when in reality they created allot of stress and turmoil in the relationship...don't confuse it with love ...because should they come back you may quickly realize you have been better off without him. Sometimes we want ex's back just because of our pride and we can't figure out why they want to be with someone who doesn't have as much to offer as we do, or treat them as well as we did, and the list goes on....then when the ex figures out the same thing...they come running back. Don't be too quick to forget and forgive, you are too special and deserve someone who recognizes all those wonderful qualities you have and returns the feelings. My vote would be to move on...and do whatever it takes to convince yourself. Good luck! Woobiegirl

Sounds like even though you two had similar interests and got along as friends right now isn't a good time for her. At least she gave you an honest answer and didn't keep you in limbo. It could be a combination of both that her life as it stands now is filled with busy stuff and she doens't have time to invest in a relationship right now. On the other hand, her e-mail could have mentioned remaining friends and that she would give you a call to get together when time frees up. Her comment just seemed a bit harsh...especially since it sounded like you were already friends. I wouldn't ask her "why" she was too busy. I'd just thank her for her reply and let her know that when she had some free time to keep you in mind as a friend to go do something fun with. Then move on...NEXT. Good luck, Woobiegirl

I'm a little confused as your post states you are 18, but you mentioned in your description that you're 16 and 8 months pregnanat. Whether you're 16 or 18 and pregnant, ....I would say that should be your main focus right now. Whether your 16 or 18 makes a significant difference in some of your decisons regarding your pregnancy and your first concern should be about you,your baby and how you are going to finish school and/or work and raise your wonderful new mirical entering into your life very soon. There could be several reasons why your friend isn't calling....and some of them may be linked to his own age and fear of the additional responsibility that will be inluded after your baby is born, even if he isn't the father. You didn't metnion if the real father is going to be part of the baby's life...which would also be a consideration and on your friends mind. He may not be sure what your expecting from him right now and he may not be sure he can return the feelings going forward. Take your time and really think your feelings through to be sure that this is really love or could it be that you looking for companionship. I hope that you have friends and relatives that are being supportive to help with your decisions that lie ahead of you for yourself and your baby. If you miss him as a friend, you might want to send him an e-mail or write him a letter and share what's on your mind. Let him know you value his friendship and if nothing more, would like to remain friends. Take care of youself and your new arrival... Woobiegirl

I can't even begin to relate to what your g/f is going through right now with her mother's illness...especially at such a young and crucial time in her life....Not to mention that her father doesn't live with them, but will hopefully he'll be there for her to offer support. I agree with psipro and ironblood, I wouldn't stop contacting her to offer your support, even if it's just to provide a shoulder to lean on, someone she can talk to, or just to sit with you in silence... so she'll know she is not alone on this difficult journey. Right now I would imagine she may be so grief stricken that she doesn't have the energy to talk to anyone, even if your her b/f, right now ...her mother is her main priority and she may feel selfish doing anything related to herself right now. You are a very special young man to be so concerned about your g/f, she is a lucky girl to have you in her life. Stick by her, be understanding and understand she is not herself right now...it will unfortunately get rougher before it gets better. Be there for her...she will come around when she's able to. My prayers go out to all of you, Woobiegirl

I can understand how "bewildered" you are feeling right now, especially with this "roller coatster" ride your b/f is giving you. You mentioned that the two of you didn't really have any major problems in your relationship, so I'd guess he wants a break to "test the waters" so to speak. Because you've been dating each other since 18, maybe you both are feeling a desire to explore life a bit more....which certainly is better to come to that realization now than investing more years or even worse after marriage. That may also be why he can't give you answers...(or doesn't want to tell you what the real reason is so as not to hurt you). It's harder to be direct and tell the person who loves you that you want to "explore other relationships...but if they don't work out and you discover that you really had the best person for yourself all along, they'd hope you'll be waiting to take them back." Yes, it's not easy to switch from living with someone you care deeply for to coming home to what feels like emptyness everywhere. It's a huge adjustment, but can also be exciting ... as you stated in your post "I also want to experience what else is out there"....which is exactly what you should do rather than sit home and wait for the phone to ring. Particularly with his comment of "he "needs to find himself" and when the time comes that he wants me back, (if he wants me back)...it's a risk he's taking since you may not choose to take him back. You are probably full of mixed emotions right now, and that's to be expected. Although easier said then done,...try to focus on what the future holds for you, which will be whatever you welcome into your new life. The 'ol cliche still holds true...for every door that closes there are new ones that will open for you. There are reasons things happen in our lives, we don't always see the light right away or understand why, but I have come to realize something "good" happens from something "bad"....so look forward to the good. As far as taking care of your nephews, it may be a good time to do some soul searching while reading some self help books on where you want to focus your energy. There is plenty of time for going out to paint the town... Best wishes, keep us posted. Woobiegirl