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woobiegirl

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  1. woobiegirl
    A very personal/touchy subject. He may have had an unpleasant experience or it's simply something he's not used to doing and may be uncomfortable talking about it. Making an issue out of it will only create pressure. Try planning a special surprise evening with a candlelight bubble bath, soft music and a glass of wine. After the bath lather on some Victoria lotion and body spray and slip on something sexy. Spray some of the body spray on the pillows and sheets...and take it nice and slow with sensual kissing and touching. Even if it doesn't happen this time, try again...he'll grow to enjoy it. Good luck, Woobiegirl
  2. woobiegirl
    Sounds like your event for the date was right on ...it's just that she had prior plans. It's also good on her behalf that she didn't drop her plans since they could have been with a friend, which means she stands behind her commitments. Her reply was very positive by her mentioning it was "amazingly" right up her alley and....she wanted feedback on how it went, so she's keeping the lines of communication open. I wouldn't wait to see if she suggests a get-together, maybe mention you would like together...when is a good time for her since you both have busy schedules? Then I would wait for her response. I personally like when a man makes it clear he want's to see me, as I don't like guessing. She is giving you good vibes back...you'll know if she's not interested, the signs are usually there. Besides, if she's seeing anyone else on a casual level, your persistence will show your interest, and still not seem pushy. Hope it works out for you, Woobiegirl
  3. woobiegirl
    You are on the right track. Reading is very helpful. Try these... Go on your search engine (I was on Yahoo) and type in "free e-book break ups" It broght up dozens of free information for recovery from break-ups and more! Good luck to you, Woobiegirl
  4. woobiegirl
    I'm happy for you!!! Anytime you get in an up-mode it's a GOOD thing!! Your right in what you said...anyone who cheats and lies most likely will do it again. The point is, whether they do or don't...there's enough effort that needs to go into a relationship without that being a concern. Consider yourself lucky now, time to move on and find that special, loving man...the one that makes you feel like "one in a million"!! I had the bad guy....now I have the one in the million and have never been more content and happier. Good luck and never accept less.... Woobiegirl
  5. woobiegirl
    You say you want to get back with him? It depends...how did the 2 of you leave it when he left and how close were you before he left? Did you 2 talk about his being away for 2 months and make any sort of agreement? Keep in mind he's experiencing a new adventure in his life, especially if his career is getting off the ground. The girls finding him hot as you say may not be an issue other than flattering his ego as part of his new success. Nothing wrong with keeping in touch and letting him know your thinking of him whether you are friends or more than just friends. Do what feels right to you, deep down you know. Good luck, Woobiegirl
  6. woobiegirl
    Hi everyone, I can relate, been there! Friday's depressed me...I threw myself into work during the week but when Friday came and everyone was talking about wk end plans it was awful. This is what helped me on Friday or Sat. evenings. I would go to Borders (bookstore, you can listen to CD's, and I'd get a Latte and stroll around. I always bought one new CD and a new book. Someone suggested "Knowing Who's Right & Avoiding Who's Wrong" by Barbara DeAngelis (great author about relationships - men and women) The place has lounge areas to enjoy your beverage and read through the books...this got me around people and I actually felt better by reading. This book also made me realize that we tend to be attracted to specific personalities and they may not be right for us. It also helped my confidence level that I'm OK...I was just picking the wrong men. One phrase stuck in my mind..."No matter how much you love someone, if they aren't the right person for you it will be destined to fail at some point" There's just no easy or fast way over it...but it does get better and now I'm confident and don't allow someone else to control whether I'm happy. best wishes to all of you, Woobiegirl
  7. woobiegirl
    Hello TrulyDee, Doesn't sound like your "losing 2 at once"....rather gaining "serenity". You may not have found your soulmate yet, but you Do now realize what you "Don't" want! Scrolling through this site will show you others currently going through similar situations or are beyond it ...and both can offer supportive suggestions. No one wants to be alone forever, but it is healthy because it gives us time to focus on our own identity and our future goals.
  8. woobiegirl
    Just my personal opinion, ...but I think any lie eventually catches up with you and brings doubt to any beginning whether it's friendship or a potential dating relationship. Next time you talk to him you could bring up his question and say you would like to clarify your reply. Simply say you have a friend you see on occasion, after all...he may be seeing other people casually too. If you have an exclusive agreement with anyone, that would change your situtation, but it doesn't sound like you do. You obviously said "no" because you have an interest in him. Woobiegirl
  9. woobiegirl
    Yes, I agree, since you're not sure where the conversation is heading when she calls, I would do more listening. (since you know her well, you may want to have your thoughts together of what points you want to bring up during the conversation) so after you hang up you don't think..."darn, why didn't I mention this or I shouldn't have said that"...? She may be flattered by his attention right now, but remember he's in the process of a divorce, has some major issues he should be resolving before jumping into another serious relationship. He may be looking for attention right now, while he's going through his own ups and downs. Time will tell, it always does...people tend to put their best foot forward in the beginning. Plus it won't take too long after she gets back that the "distance factor" will probably set in. I must add though, she's a lucky gal to still have your understanding and caring. Keep us posted, Woobiegirl
  10. woobiegirl
    From a gal's point of view, It appears you two are off to a very nice start...especially the way you met. "Not the bar scene." It also sounds like you two have allot in common and enjoy each other's company. Not an easy quality to find these days! Go with the flow, it's sincere...and she seems to be responding in a favorable way, so I would imagine she likes you more than a friend too. Good luck, Woobiegirl
  11. woobiegirl
    If they're getting alongs so well and the future has as much potential as you say...then I think a "promise ring" sounds thoughtful. After all, it is called a promise ring and isn't intended to have the same meaning as an engagement ring. Although I've never had one, I would think it's more of a promise made by both parties agreeing that they are in an exclusive relationship w/each other...and even if it doesn't work, the investment isn't that substantial. I think it's a sweet gesture. Woobiegirl
  12. woobiegirl
    This is a sensitive subject, so I'm only offering my opinion. What it boils down to is you really have two options. To put it behind you (you can't change it) or....if you don't or can't, it will eventually devastate your relationship. Guess you need to ask yourself if this is the girl you want to build a future with. This happened when you two only knew each other for one month. Whether the 24 year old is the blame is not the quesiton, it sounds like everyone was drinking and everyone contributed to making some poor choices. It was a one-time mistake. If you feel good about your relationship now, that's what counts. There are allot of people on this site that would love a second chance. Give it your best shot!! Good luck and take care, Woobiegirl
  13. woobiegirl
    So I that I could connect, I went back and read your original post. First let me say that I can relate to your 9 year relationship...mine was 9 years too (engaged the last 3) "that was 4 years ago" ....wish I would have known about this site and the wonderful people back then!! My guess would be this encounter in NY will sizzle out in good time for several reasons. It's long-distance...a challenge to start with. He's going through a divorce (more than likely he's not sure what he wants either) This is probably a new adventure for both, but long distance calls and e-mails get old after awhile, it's just not the same as loking forward to seeing the person after work or making spontaneous plans. If she's the one contacting you when she gets back I don't see any reason to play games. Talk to her...but let her do the talking and see where she's going with it. Be in control Good luck and take care, Woobiegirl
  14. woobiegirl
    I wouldn't be so quick to forgive & forget. After all, were your feelings considered when she broke up w/you and thought it was greener on the other side? Besides, you don't want to take her back because it was "easier for her with you"...she should want to come back because she realized she made a mistake. The last thing you want in the back of your mind is whether this will happen again. Let her come to you, it's part of taking responsibiliteis for your actions. Good luck & take care, Woobiegirl
  15. woobiegirl
    Whatever the reason, he could have or "should" have left a message that included a brief explanation, & telling you he'll get in touch w/you the next day. If he calls back again with a reasonable reason, then give it another try, I guarantee he won't be late this time because you showed that you expect respect. If he doesn't, no loss to you and kudo's for making your point. Woobiegirl
  16. woobiegirl
    The no contact silence may be working. As much as we tend to think the other person isn't feeling similar emotions or going through their own form of pain, isn't always so. Considering the late hour the call came in, it may have been due to a weak moment on her part. Not sure that you should return the call since she didn't leave a message. Odds are, she will call again...next time you may want to answer so that it's not on your mind as to "why" she called. The "not knowing" is whats the hardest! Good luck & take care, Woobiegirl
  17. woobiegirl
    Yes, it's possible for you two to get back together. Anything is possible. Do you know what you want to do with your life after school? What are your dreams and goals...just yours. Don't rush into such a heavy commitment. There is a big world out there waiting for you to explore with lots of new, wonderful people in it. There really is not a more satisfying feeling than to have control over your own life. Not allowing others to control your emotions and don't rely on someone else to make your life satisfying or happy. If we put more energy into our own lives rather than worrying about what others think, focus on not losing our identity when we get itno a relationship, keeping our own goals, interests...I think, is part what makes us interesting and unique to each other. We all admire confident people who know what paths they want their lives to take. The key is how we handle the challenges we all have along the trip. Life is an adventure, we have one shot at it...give it your best. Good luck and take care, Woobiegirl
  18. woobiegirl
    Way to go girl!! Nothing like a boost for you to see that you have allot to offer! I've read some preety kewl books, one made a statement I never forgot. It said don't be in a rush to replace the relationship...take time to enjoy the freedom. Take care of yourself, enjoy life, do something you've always wanted to do... That eventually, you WILL find someone else, so enjoy your space while you can!!! It's not all bad!! There are allot of married people out there that would be happy to trade places with us!! Always smile, you never know who may fall in love with it!!! Thanks for sharing.... Woobiegirl
  19. woobiegirl
    Oh yes, we've all worried about sharing our feeligns with someone again, but there are no guarantees. Sometimes they leave us, other times they are taken from us too early in life. I think it takes at least a year to experience the healing process if you truly had a solid relationship and agree with Avman. Keeping busy helped me, (the 1st year was the tough one), surround yourself with friends, I did allot of reading "feel good books" "relationship books"...they all helped me to look at different view points and learn about myself. I am on my 4th year of being alone after a 9 year relationship where I thought I'd marry the person. It wasn't easy, but I'm very positive now, realize I have allot to offer the right person and now know what I will or will not accept in a relationship. I didn't rush into trying to find someone, but chose to focus on my career, new hobbies, and made new friends. I knew someday I would meet someone special again, so I decided in the meatnime to enjoy me freedom and take one day at a time. Well, it's happened!! I've recently met someone very special, someone who I feel I could be happy with for the rest of my life. Am I scared...? YOU BET!!!... but I giving it all my heart because he is special and you need to be healthy mentally going in and not make the person who cares about you pay for something that someone else did to you. Surprisingly, new relationships are sometimes stronger because each of you have gained strength and hopefully won't make the same mistakes. Good luck and Take Care, Woobiegirl
  20. woobiegirl
    I don't think your girlfriend should be calling the shots when you appear to be the solid of the two. I wouldn't suggest getting a flat or basing your decisions by over extending your financial situation based on her wants. It's not a guarantee that she will stay, be happy or even sincere...I think first she needs to prove to you that she will be responsible and honest. If you truly want to be with someone you work through the obsticles together. Not considering the long-term consequences from pregnacy with someone she just met is pretty selfish and scary! It might be in your best interest to move on. Take care and good luck!! Woobiegirl
  21. woobiegirl
    That was special and from your heart. Thanks for sharing, hope it will give you closure. Writing is such a wonderful way to express our feelings. Take care, Woobiegirl
  22. woobiegirl
    This must be a hard time for you for several reasons. 3 1/2 years is a fair amount of time to spend with one person, plus the 2 of you started off very young as you are only 17 now. Not having other relationships to compare it to makes it harder to know whether it's healthy or not. You might just be used to each other and after awhile, you have to be careful not to get in a rut and take each other for granted. It sounds like your frequent arguments are over small things, although leaving you stand in the rain and not showing up wouldn't exactly make anyone happy. After all, it's the "little & special" things that couples do for each other that mean the most. Without respect and consideration you are guaranteed to have problems. I wouldn't make promises by putting your life on hold for 2 years while he leaves for the service. You can write, keep in touch and if it's meant to be it will be when he returns. Give it some thought, it may be more that he is your 1st love, you both have gotten used to each other and sometimes although the relationship has more down sides, people think it's better than none at all. You both have allot of living ahead of you yet, make it count!! Take care and good luck, Woobiegirl
  23. woobiegirl
    It may not feel like it now, but it sounds as if something positive came out of your conversation. She may have had these topic she brought up penned up for sometime, and the stress and sadness of your mother brought it to the surface. If she had a strong bond with her it must have been hard for her too...and may have been harder if you are far away. Sounds like you handled it well by listening, listening and more listening. That sometimes is the best help we can offer someone...to listen without judgement, without trying to fix what's wrong, holding back any criticism we may feel or becoming defensive. I'm sure after she hung up the phone she realized she dumped allot of info on you may even feel bad about it herself. It's also an eye openor because we discover things about ourselves perhpas that we may never have thought about and/or learn how we had affect on someone else by our actions or something we said...and never knew it. Could she still be having challenges recovering from your break-up? Sound's like you'll both be fine...give it some time. Take care, Woobiegirl
  24. woobiegirl
    Hey Colly, Since I don't have the history of your prior posts, I can only go by what you wrote today. Sounds like you may have broken off your relationship, but your heart wasn't really in it. Maybe your relationship was missing something...and thought suggesting the break up would strengthen it, or you assumed you would get back together and it would be stronger...sounds like it may have backfired? I may be wrong, but it sounds like the break-up may have been easier for her since moving to a new location, new surroundings, new friends and is probably keeping very busy with school. You are the one still near her family and surroundings which is a constant reminder of her. Now that her family is moving as well, it is giving you an empty feeling which is understandable. At least with the prospect of her visiting her family, it gave you a sense of security that she would be back on occasion and that at least was something to look forward to. It also sounds like she's having an easier time with the split than you, and that always hurts because it gives the impression the other person didn't care as much as you did. I do thnk though, that breakups always affect both involved, it's just that we all handle it differently. Some just cover it up and hide the pain. If you still need contact to get back some persoanl things, can you e-mail her? It might be easier than talking over the phone. I wish you well, Take care, Woobiegirl
  25. woobiegirl
    Now is the time to ask yourself "What do I want to do?" Who can you confide in...family, friends, a counselor, your doctor? You do have choices, but time is of the essense now and talking them out with someone you can hanve an open conversation with will make it easier. As far as telling your ex, not sure what that will accomplish, unless you feel he would get back with you...but the pregnancy is not the "main" reason he should be coming back for. A baby is a beautufil experience, but it will change your life forever. You have a choice...but the choice should be what is best for yourself and based on where you are in life right now, your future goals, finances and if you are ready to handle such a responsibility by yourself. Good luck to you and I wish you well, Woobiegirl
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