woobiegirl

Hi melatonin...I like your name First hand, it sounds like you have a great relationship with a special gal...congratulations! This is only my thought, I may be way off...I'm thinking what happens with new relationships (it's happened w/me) is that when you first meet and the chemistry is good, there is so much to learn about each other. During this transition, we take it in stride while keeping our regular identity, friends, activities and normal routine. As we get closer, bond more, spend more time together and begin to realize that this is very special and can lead to a serious relationship...different emotions and/or events come into play. We become more sensative as to what's said "reading into things or between the lines", body language, we begin to "wonder", analyze, maybe become a bit more overprotective, perhaps even become a bit anxious..."what if they don't care for me as much"... It changes from a more relaxed state to a more complex state. Not a bad thing...we just become more aware of our feelings and hope for the same in return. Let it take it's natural course, you sound like you have a great positive outlook. Good luck and take care! Woobiegirl

Although you are looking for feedback from the guys, I was wondering if you are seeking comfort in letting your ex know you have changed in a positive manner and you will acquire satisfaction by him realizing it. (not a bad thing, just human nature) We all make our own mistakes in relationships, and we learn from them... I would say if you have a special guy now, it wouldn't be fair to him, or if your not sure...maybe you should wait to make the commitment. In any event, good luck and I hope it works out for you! Woobiegirl

I take vitamins, although I admit I'm not always consistant about it. I've done my fair share of research about vitamins and how they can improve memory, energy and help the our body recover from daily stress. Stress can create far more health issues than we often realize. It depends on many things i.e., our eating habits, family history/genetics, whether we're male or female, our general health, if we excercise, our age, etc. Women require more iron & calcium than men. I increased my energy level in a big way when I increased my cardio along with protein shakes and eliminated most sugars. Thanks for sharing, Woobiegirl

If you are 23 and have been married for 5 years, it may just be an avenue of exploration for your husband, although I'm sorry to hear about his cheating if this happened while you were married. If your husband is close to the same age, this may be a way to release sexual tension without feeling like he's cheating, although if it doesn't bother you, then there's no reason he should hide it unless he's embarrased by it. The fact that he gets defensive may mean that he feels guilty about it...maybe he should try it at the end of the evening when your son is in bed and the two of you want to spend some quality time together. On the other hand, if he's locked in a room more than he spends time with you and your son or helping, then it definitely needs to be discussed. I hope it works out for you, Woobiegirl

Hi caliboy, Sounds like you mean well, and it's good that you recognize that your little spurts of jealousy can create unpleasant feelings between your g/f and yourself. I bet at the end of the night you regret some of the your negative thoughts or moods it put you in....it can spoil a otherwise pleasant evening for no reason. We all have our reasons for letting things bother us and many of these feelings come from the way we were raised and if we were trusted as children. Try doing some research and/or reading on the topic, it may help you to understand why this happens, or how to handle it if you feel it coming on.. You are off to a great start by acknowledging it, and it will definitely lead to a healthier relationship with everyone in your life, but mostly give you peace of mind. Here is an interesting site you might like to check out...it offers over 440 tests, 1 is a jealousy test and so many more interesting ones. I've taken several and it's amazing how much we can learn about ourselves if we answer them honestly. link removed Best wishes, Woobiegirl

Dear dlb74, I've followed your past 2 posts along with this new one since your g/f 's recent departure. Your description of the loss you feel is very apparent, but at the same time, is clearly written from your heart showing the tremendous love you feel for her. I found it very poetic how you are aware of so many special things about her and can express it in your writing. It's obvious you have allot of love to offer someone special...and whether it is your g/f or someone new, she will be a very lucky lady. The foundation of love is where it all begins...with that we can conquer anything together. That's what we're all looking for, to share life, love & happiness with someone who will work through not only the good days, but the challanging ones as well. That's what builds the bond between two people. I hope in time she will realize that she has the most precious gift of all...someone who loves her with all their heart. Keep us posted... Take care, Woobiegirl...

Hi routerx, Just the fact that you are looking at ways to make your g/f feel special makes her a lucky gal! Really, if you think about it, it's the little special things we do for each other that really count the most, and they don't ususally cost money. My b/f, like you, leaves little post it notes all over the house...I never know where I'll find one, but it always makes me feel special. A massage is a great idea, set the mood with candles, dim lighting, music, a bottle of wine...and my b/f plays a game that he's a stranger...a massage therapist. Go exploring on week ends and visit places you haven't been together, parks, drives, window shopping, garage sales...you never know what treasures you'll find together. We all love when our significant other takes an interest in how our day was and if she had a tough one, spoil her by telling her it's her night off, prepare a nice dinner, lower the lighting, light the candles and read to her. My b/f and I love reading ot each other. If you e-mail eachother...send poems, or cute cards. My b/f sends me e-mails every morning, so when I get to work and sit down with my coffee, I start off my day reading his sweet notes...a great way to start my day. Guess what I'm trying to say is...I think what everyone really wants is that attention that makes us feel so special, appreciated and loved....and it's free!! Hope that helped a little... Good luck, Woobiegirl

Dear Orange... Couple of questions for you...have the two of you exchanged e-mails and pictures? Have you talked to him on the phone? On-line dating is very popular, but risky as well. I've done on-line dating and actually met my b/f that way...but we met socially for a quick drink. Taking on a movie would be a better 2nd date. It's too hard to talk and get to know each other...especially to watch the body language and eye contact. It may also be too long of a time if you can tell there is no compatibility within the first 1/2 hour. Also, people lie about what they look like so e-mailing pictures first and talking on the phone helps. I would meet in public for sure, but in a position where you can leave after an hour or stay longer if you both enjoy the company....leave yourself an out, I've been glad I had one! P>S. And don't go anywhere alone the 1st few meetings, there are allot of nuts out there!! 0X Take care and good luck, Woobiegirl

Sorry for the pain your feeling. Seven years is a long time to spend with someone, especially at the age you both started at. You really don't have much to compare it to...if neither of you have been with anyone else. I'm sure it's just as hard and scary for her, which is probably why she's keeping such strong contact with you. She may be curious as to what's "out there in the big jungle"...but at the same time, afraid she may lose you for good. I would meet with her, listen, keep an open mind and see what happens. It sounds like she misses you, after all...you both have been a big part of each other's life for a very long time. Good luck, hope it works out for you both! Woobiegirl

I'm very sorry to hear of the pain you are going through right now. Although many details aren't available, from what you've said...I would say the red flags have been there for some time. I would guess at this point there isn't much you can say or do to change her mind on visiting this guy. If this is their 1st physical face to face meeting...you just never know, it may not be what she imagined after all. How many times have people found out it is NOT always greener on the other side. Sounds like she may be looking for something new, exciting, and romantic...but what she may find out is that new is not necessarily better....just "newer". Give her some time, begging & pleading is not the answer. If it doesn't work out for her and she decides she wants to come back, that will be your decision whether you can live with that. It's also why 2nd marriages and/or relationships seem easier...because we learn the importance of not taking what we have together for granted. Hope it works out for you and keep us posted. Woobiegirl

She just may not want to be as serious right now as you, and the 2 of you are at differenct levels. Four years doens't make much difference while in the 30's, but at 21, it may. She might also just need some time and space, or you are more mature and may prefer a g/f that's a bit older and more mature. It may also have something to do with her being the older, more mature person in her group of friends that are 17-21...where with you, she doesn't have that going for her. Just a thought. Hope it works out for you, Woobiegirl

Hi Princess, My, you do have quite a challenge on your hands, don't you? Since it sounds like you've pretty much exhausted your good ideas and therapy in in session, I would focus on taking over all responsibility. It sounds like you've pretty much done that already. You can't change him unless he wan'ts to change or he at least makes an attempt. I would look into self help books, get counseling for yourself and make sure you have yourself protected as far as $$, a roof over your head, a job...etc. Like children, if you do too much for them and make it easy...why should they take responsibility for themselves. You are understanding of his past, that's important to take into consideration, but so is what you deserve from your marriage, from your partner and equal responsibility is important. You are not his caretaker, you are his partner in life. You should take care of each other. There are great resources available that can help us to understand why people do what they do...and how to help them understand change is needed and healthy. It's time something special is in the picture for you! Hope it works out, keep us posted... Take care, Woobiegirl...

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling such pain. I wish that I could say something to make it easier, but I can't. I can however, offer you some words of support. I felt the same pain after my b/f and I broke up after dating for 9 years. I woke up every morning hoping it was all a bad dream...., but it wasn't....and somehow I made it through each day. It's going on 5 years now since the breakup and I've discovered when one door closes, there is always another that opens. Allow yourself time to go through a healing process, maybe it's time to discover about youreself again...and "in time" consider makeing some changes as far as goals, career, etc. Do something special for yourself. The good news is...you will get over it, you will move on..and even if you don't realize it now, it may be for the best. It turned out mine was. I'm happy to say I've recently fallen in love with someone very special, someone who is better for me, loves me back just as much and I now see that even if I had a choice, I'd rather be with my new b/f...but would have never had the opportunity to meet him had I not split with my ex. I doubt if any of this will make you feel better...but please remember that there is someone very special out there waiting for you! Take care... Woobiegirl

Hi confusedgirl, I can understand your frustration. He sounds like a pretty special guy though, the way he took care of you instead of taking advantage of the situation...and he's being open and honest with you. Since you both acknowledge sharing some feelings for each other, why not keep in touch by e-mail and phone calls during the summer break and see what happens when you get back to school and spend time together as friends again. There really aren't many options due to the distance, but it definitely sounds like something you both can look forward to. Hope it woks out for you, Take care, Woobiegirl

Thanks mahlina, for sharing your thoughts. Yes, I think it was the combination of very passionate kissing, getting totally lost in the moment with my b/f who I'm so sexually attracted to and love deeply. It was really an overwhelming 1st experience. I even told him...WOW, I'm back...I left for another dimension, not sure where I went but I'm back... Your right mahlina , someone special like that is hard to find and I'm definitely holding onto him. Thanks again, Woobiegirl

Oh yes ....I can relate to what you're saying. It happens to me and feels pretty incredible when it does. When I first gushed like that with my b/f he thought I peed on him from the pleasure. LOL He'd be soaked and so was the bed. It happens mostly when I'm on top because the penetration is deeper and when he presses on that special spot the juices just flow. Thanks everyone~~ Now I can share this information with him! Have a great week end, Woobiegirl

I experienced something new this morning while making love with my b/f. It's the 1st time anything like this has ever happened to me, and I'm curious if anyone else has ever felt something similar. We were embracing, kissing passionately,and other good stuff and I was feeling so connected. Our chemistry was on fire, our love was passionate,... it took me to another dimension, "suspended out-of-the-bedroom experience." It's hard to explain without sounding bizarre, that's why I'm wondering if anyone else ever felt anything like this...it was exhilirating. Let me know...Wow!! Woobiegirl

Hello I have found that in life that the greatest thing of all time is our memory, it's in our favor. It is the greatest thing why ? Because we all forget. So when people get mad, don't worry either way they soon forget. That includes what they said an what you thought you said. It does not matter because most have forgotten a long time ago. So why worry about it and get depressed. They are out at some club eating fish and chips and having a grog. Sorry about that, I just forgot my next sentence, gotta go. See what I mean. Woobiegirl

I'd say effortless (ie unforced, easy, natural) is a suitable word to describe falling in love or how it should be. Naturally, it won't happen unless you put an effort into it...as anything else you want to succeed in during your lifetime. The key is not finding someone who is perfect, rather someone who is perfect for you. Hope you find that special love, Woobiegirl

That's a good example why maybe what happened in the past should stay in the past. If he didn't want to know the truth he shouldn't have asked you these questions. You don't have an open converstion with someone then hold it over their head. Intimacy between 2 people is all about closeness, sharing and giving each other pleasure. It's totally unfair for him to expect certain pleasures from you and not want to give it back.."the key word here being "Want". Curious question? is this hesitation for oral w/you "forever", or will he reconsider as the two of you are together longer....not that it should make any difference, but as long as it's one sided, I don't think you will be fully satisfied. Hope it works out, Woobiegirl [/u]

Anytime a relationship includes ex's or children there w/be challenges to overcome together. You didn't mention the age of the child, but if you don't have any of your own, this relationship could get frustrating for you because as parents they will be sharing the responsibility of her well being until at least the age of 18. Eventually his ex will get on with her own life and the sharing of visitation and sarcasm will calm down. I would be a friend to the daughter and leave the couseling to her dad. Rather than put the daughter in the middle, maybe he can ask his wife to be more cival for everyone's sake "especially for the daughter". I wouldn't put too much pressure on your b/f regarding his daughter...he needs to give her attention when she's with him as he's missing out on her daily life in general. Forget what the ex says about you....just tell your b/f to help you become friends with his daughter...if he feels like he has to choose, he's not going to give us his daughter. I've also come accross articles that give helpful suggestions to dating others with children, it may provide some helpful insight. Hope it works out for you, Woobiegirl

Losing a job can happen to anyone...but I hope he genuinely appreciates your support both financially and mentally while he's job searching. Does he often tell you how he appreciates your sticking by him at such a down time for him? Or tell you he feels badly that he can't do special things for you as he would like? And most important, although he can't give you $$ towards bills, he can help by making your day more pleasant when you come home after a long day....i.e. dinner, errands, shopping, backrubs...etc. His self esteem alone should be bothering him during this job search. Don't want to sound negative, but he could walk after he does find a job....or, hopefully he will pay you back....whichever it is, he's obviously not putting a life/death priority into it. Excellent question you asked.."what would it be like if the shoe was on the other foot"? Time for action... take care, Woobiegirl

No point in kicking yourself up at this point. At least it wasn't a total stranger which most likely you'd never bump into again. It's not uncommon for women to now walk up to men and introduce themselves when you sense a connection. On the other hand, he could have been interested and/or attracted to you, but may be in a relationship at the moment. Or... He could have been waiting for you to approach him..."the fear of rejection" The real issue here though, might be to foucs on why you feel your relationships are short-lived or not working out. You mentioned that you were "afraid" to try again. I would give that some thought so when you do bump into prince charming again it'll be smooth sailing. take care, Woobiegirl

You are very thoughtful by recognizing what your g/f is going through w/her parents divorce. She is caught in the middle, and it hurts to see your parents argue and blame each other. For whatever reason, sometimes kids blame themselves for their parents breaki up, but hopefully they w/be sensitive to making it as painless as possible for other family members involved. A special card, flowers, a hug, (simply attention)....would be my guess as to what your f/f needs right now. Just her knowing you are there to offer support and understanding should hlep see her through this rough time. Hope it all works out for everyone, Woobiegirl....

Hi louiseblues, First, let's figure out "why" you are avoiding sex with your b/f, because you can only avoid it so long until it creates tension, which sounds like it is already since he's brought up that he has thoughts that there may be someone else. The first thing that comes to mind when our partner doesn't show us affection or initate love making is that they have lost interest in us or may have an interest in someone new. Your sending him mixed signals. Are you physically attracted to him? Perscriptions can encumber sexual desire...(i.e. antidepressants, hormone replacement "although I see you are young", and many other perscriptions create "low sexual desire" as a side affect. If it's not related to perscriptions, then maybe you just need to bring some new & creative sparks to your intimacy. Change is good...go toy shopping together, watch a video together, plan surprise evenings for each other...a massage, candlelight, buble baths, ...play some imigination games...go out, pick each other up at a bar...sounds hokey I know, but it can be fun and adventurous....be naughty. Men like a naughty girl behind closed doors. My b/f plays games with me all the time, he's always full of surprises which keeps our love making very fun & exciting. Or...maybe your b/f needs to get more creative with you...if you have fantasies, try sharing them w/him....he'll probably enjoy it. Since you enjoy pleasing yourself and can reach an orgasm, you 2 may just need to spice things up a bit....have fun!!! Now on another note which hopefully isn't you...I have known women who said they just got to the point where sex wasn't important anymore....they still loved their husband, but didn't care if they ever had sex again...however, it's normally it's at a older age...but I still think it could be an inbalance in hormones. If it doesn't change, I would definitely call your doctor and ask him...it could be medical. Good luck!! Woobiegirl