ConfusedGirl25

I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize why I have so many problems with my prayer life. But it has. Realizing I had ADD let me address issues I had with school work and timliness and organization... the usual things you think of that are affected by ADD. But I just realized that it's the cause of my trouble with prayer too. I feel overwhelmed by the aspect of having one-on-one time with God just because I have so many thoughts and emotions and everything else running through my head at once. I can't focus on prayer and after 2 seconds my mind is elsewhere and I feel as if I've insulted Him. I can't keep a single train of thought. I'm not even sure if praying out loud would make it better.... I would probably just feel more uncomfortable than I already do when I pray. I would try drugs but you would not believe how hard it is to get a psychiatrist to take your ADD seriously when you hadn't been previously (as a child) diagnosed. They think you just want amphetamines. But no, it just seriously took this long to figure out. Bright girls with ADD do not get diagnosed because they still manage to do all right in school. Sigh. Sometimes I just wonder how much easier studying and other things would be if I had some way to control it. I also believe it's the source of my depression (I am on an antidepressant) or could be why I was diagnosed as bipolar once upon a time...

Thanks so much for your words of support and comfort. I keep focusing on what other people would think so much that I'm not truly focusing on what I think. Thanks again.

Only almost 20... he's 22. I know many people get married this young but my entire life my parents have been feeding the "you aren't getting married til your late 20s" vibe.

Hi All, So here's the basic storyline... my ex and I dated for just barely over 3 weeks. We are both very religious though I wasn't as religious at the time. The reason we broke up was because our relationship was not God-honoring and not headed in a good direction (based primarily on physical aspects). I agree that the relationship was not a good one and had to end. But as the weeks and months have passed, I can't help but think about him. Am I infatuated with him? Or is it more? Basically, I'm having trouble figuring out if there's even a chance that we may be together down the line. I feel like I'm in love with him but I don't know how we could start up anything ever again without the physical relationship. How do you know when you're ready for real commitment? I've given up dating for real commitment... I'll only date with marriage in mind but am I ready? I feel like I am but my age is telling me no... Confused, as always.

All right. I'm a little naive about most things involving sex and the opposite sex but I'm too embarrased to ask my friends about this so here goes. I've got a question for both guys and girls. Girls: How do you "groom" yourself down there? I'm just trying to figure out what most girls do down there... aka what's most popular, what you shouldn't do, etc. Guys: How do you like your girls groomed down there? Thanks

I think as long as you tell the girl before you do anything, she would be fine with it. I mean, she might personally think it's a bit odd but if she knows it makes you happy, she should enjoy it too. I'm not too sexually experienced, so I'm not sure but I don't think I have any fetishes. But if you've found something that truly turns you on, good for you. That's awesome.

I just finished my first year of college and while my parents think I adjusted very well and made great friends... it's not completely true. It's true that I love my school and I've made great friends but I also started noticing changes in my mood more. I was having a really hard time studying and concentrating. I lost all motivation to do school work (which for me before this year, was not a problem). I started noticing that my moods were more dramatic that I thought and started having problems with depression. At the very end of the year I met a few times with a psychologist and psychiatrist... it was free, so hell, why not? As a peer counselor I recommend people go there all the time, so I figured I should take some of my own advice. Although I only met a few times with the counseling department at my school, they seem to think I may have bipolar disorder or a bipolar-like illness. I have only managed to tell a few friends. A few reacted adversely as I hadn't shown my symptoms of depression to them often and my manic state was always seen as enjoyable and normal to them. I still haven't told my best girl friend from high school about any of this (we don't often discuss serious things... or maybe it's that I just don't want to tell her of my flaws.). Mostly, however, I feel I should tell my parents. I just don't know how. How does one bring up that subject? No time is a good time. It would be so unexpected from me as they think I'm the perfect well-adjusted child. Part of me just wants to wait until I go back to school and wants to wait until after I know more about what this is. But how would I even talk about this over the phone? Any advice or encouragement would be wonderful, thanks.

I'm in training as a peer counselor at my university and the other week we started talking about depression, etc. It kind of got me thinking and the head of our program/therapist at our counseling center advised us to take advantage of the resource available to us and go to the counseling center (and also so when we refer other students we can offer personal experience from going there). Well, I've always kind of considered the possiblity of depression and manic-depression but never actually thought it was true and thought that I was normal and feeling the same things and going through the same things as everyone else. Well when I went to see psychologist there, he said he thought I was bipolar and scheduled me an appointment with a psychiatrist for (1) a second opinion and (2) possible medication/treatment planning... this freaked me out. In other people, I don't see it as a real handicap or anything. I commend them for what they have to deal with, etc. But in me... I really do see it as a flaw. I don't want to think there's something wrong with me that I can't control. I start thinking things like that I'm overreacting or maybe I should tone down what I tell the psychiatrist. The term "bipolar" has always really bothered me though. To me, it has negative connotations... I prefer manic-depressive even. I dunno why... does anyone else think bipolar has bad connotations? I really do want to talk about it too, but I don't want to talk to some of my closest friends about it... I feel like they wouldn't understand? I also really want to take comfort in consolation by one of my best guy friends (one that I actually like as more than a friend, and he likes me too, but that's a whole 'nother story--one sentence explaination: we can't date now bec he's hung up on ex), but I'm scared that he'll see it as a flaw and not like me anymore. I also don't want to be a burden to friends. That's probably one of my biggest concerns... also, not too thrilled about the prospect of discussing this with my parents... for the same reasons. I dunno what to think. I just don't want to have bipolar disorder and my psychologist really seems to think I have it and need to be medicated...

All right... first of all, every girl is different. But personally.... I like anything on the waist or upper thigh (like inner thigh). I don't like it when guys touch my breasts when I don't really know them well and trust them (aka not the first time). I just feel used somehow and like I'm being groped. Not sure why. Anyway, I do like it however when guys touch my butt... Stroking/touching gently is wonderful. But don't touch reluctantly. Girls can tell when guys are unsure about themselves and it makes us uncomfortable too. Also, kissing... kissing doesn't have to be reserved for just lips (although that is wonderful too). I love it when a guy kisses me on the neck (no hickies please!) or on the ear (althought this is sorta a personal preference too, but most girls I know like it too). Kisses anywhere are nice and sweet and intimate. And as far as down there... be gentle! You don't want a girl to be rough with your equipment, so don't be rough with hers. Fingering... you want to have enough pressure so she can feel it... but don't overdo it.

Hey, I know exactly how you're feeling. I am currently a college freshman and I remember being really concerned my senior year in high school about losing my friends. People do change during college. There's nothing you can do about it and everyone changes in different ways. You cannot possibly predict how people will change. I know I've changed but I could not possibly tell you how. The changes people undergo are subtle and yet can seem huge. The best thing to do is to not worry about it. You will change too as well as your friends but you'll always have them as long as you keep up the effort to stay friends with them. You might not think you need new friends or want new friends, but when you go to college you will meet the people you'll be friends with for the rest of your life. By the time you get past your first year of college... your biggest concern will be how to deal with being away from your college buddies for 3-4 months. Don't worry about it, enjoy the time you have left in highschool, and stay in touch with the special ones. Just because people may change doesn't mean your friendship will.

I think what you just wrote yourself is probably your best bet. You don't want to force yourself on her because it really sounds like she's unsure. Being a girl's friend first is the best thing you can do. The benefits of friendship are enormous and the best relationships come from friendships. Also, that way, if you truly do care about her, you can still be friends if you were to start dating and broke up. I know my deepest feelings for guys have always been when I was friends with them first. I know what you're doing may sound hard and like a long time process but what you'll get out of it will be well worth the wait. Good luck!

A friend who I've fallen for told me he liked me a while ago but couldn't date me because he thought it wouldn't be fair to me because he wasn't sure how he felt about his ex and knew he wasn't over her. But he told me he did want to be over her since she had no interest in getting back with him. So the only problem I thought there was is that he needed time to sort his feelings out about her... well, that was when I knew she had a boyfriend and knew she wasn't interested in getting back together. Well, she has recently broken up with her boyfriend and it's almost time to go home for summer (i'm in college). They hooked up over winter break and I'm scared they'll hook up again over summer break. It's not that I'm jealous, really. It's more that I'm scared for him and for us. If they hook up over break, he's not going to get over her in the slightest and then there will be no chance for us in the fall. I really like this guy and his ex really messed him up and isn't good for him. My friends say that maybe he'll realize that he doesn't really want to be with her when he hooks up over break but I think my fears are legit. I just don't know what to think... anybody have any ideas as to how I can keep this guys interest over break when I'm thousands of miles away or anything else I should do?

I have liked this guy for quite some time now. We have become pretty close friends so I didn't want to do anything that would ruin our friendship as I was fairly sure he didn't like me as more than a friend. Well, the other weekend, we both got pretty drunk and ended up telling each other that we liked each other. I was quite surprised that he liked me back. Well, since we were drunk, we didn't want to do anything, so he just took me to my room and tucked me in. I respect him a lot since he didn't want us to hook up drunk. When we ended up talking about it later, however, he told me he cared about me a heck of a lot and that's why he couldn't have a relationship with me. His last girlfriend really screwed with him. He still has some feelings unsorted out about her. He broke up with her about 8 months ago, but since then he's hooked up with her once in the fall and during our winter break. He still has that thought "wouldn't it be great if we got back together," though he wants to get over her because she has a boyfriend and has moved on. He said he's not sure what he would do if she called and said she was lonely/upset. He doesn't want to hurt me and says he's too big of a risk right now. But inside, all I can think is that I don't care, and that I want to take the risk. I really really like this guy. And it would be a lot easier if he didn't like me because instead of a "not now" it would have been a "no." He also doesn't want me to wait for him because he knows that isn't fair to me, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do because I can't just make myself move on. We only have 4 weeks left at school until summer and we live really far away from each other so my logical side is saying to just be his friend until after summer and see if anything is still there after summer. I'm scared though that after that long of a time, he might not be interested anymore. Any advice or consolation would be wonderful. Thanks.