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Aleadragonhawk

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Everything posted by Aleadragonhawk

  1. Aleadragonhawk
    I think that he might be withdrawing from you from fear of the emotions he expressed. It really sounds like this relationship needs to come to some kind of resolution - it sounds like he has feelings for you that might not totally be friendship.
  2. Aleadragonhawk
    Unmedicated bipolar, absent for a week at a time, going to a site called "affairfinder", drinks, and lies. You're 20, and that's very, very young to be tying your life to someone else's - much less someone with so many very negative qualities.
  3. Aleadragonhawk
    Honestly, Hannahleh, by keeping in any contact with her, you're just playing her games. If you can't avoid physically being around her, just ignore her and don't speak to her when she's there. If it's mutual friends who have a habit of spreading her stories, tell them that you're tired of her and don't want to hear about her craziness. As far as your boyfriend goes, this woman has expressed a desire to cause physical harm to you - if he can't understand you wanting to step back from her for that, then I'd be worried that he was more concerned with preserving his social scene than preserving your safety. By allowing her any kind of relationship with you at all, you're enabling her negative actions - and if you decide to keep her in your life, you really only have yourself to blame.
  4. Aleadragonhawk
    It might help if you take a step back, think realistically about the things you've been doing (that you want to stop), then take a look at your boyfriends reaction. You're stating that you want to cut back on your consumption of alcohol, a substance that's proven to be harmful to your health. Instead of respecting this, he feeds your addiction. You've stated that you don't want to get involved in smoking marijuana, but he pressured you into smoking it anyway. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who has so little respect for your health and your STATED wishes? Add in the immaturity and his bad scholastic record, and you come up with a guy who's headed nowhere faster than a speeding train. Ditch him, he's absolutely no good for you - actually, he's dragging YOU down. You are in no way obligated to stay in an unsuccessful relationship.
  5. Aleadragonhawk
    Phone sex with other women? Cheating. Hands-down, flat-out cheating. If I found my fiancee doing this, I'd crucify him. Having sexual conversations with other women is no where near right. Don't doubt how you feel about this one.
  6. Aleadragonhawk
    This sounds like a really difficult situation to be dealing with. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are starting to reconcile over this - at least he's back to saying that he wants to be with you. I'd be worried over the feelings he developed, but he seems to have handled them in a relatively mature way. It's this statement I'd pay the most attention to - "He felt like he couldn't talk to me." Have you discussed why he felt that way? Since you two are looking at the potential of marriage, have you considered going into counseling to resolve these problems?
  7. Aleadragonhawk
    Going back to school sounds like a very good idea. I have a friend in a similar position - she just had her first child, is a stay-at-home mother, and is taking classes online. She's said that the hardest thing can be staying motivated. Your mother-in-law seems to be unhappy with any decision you make, though. Have you tried sitting down with her and explaining that you and your family are happy, and that she doesn't really have the right to tell you what to and what not to do? I think that sometimes we're so busy trying not to hurt the other person's feelings that we let them walk all over us. I know I've done it.
  8. Aleadragonhawk
    When I'm plugging away at something and start getting frustrated, and he just takes it away from me and hugs me.
  9. Aleadragonhawk
    Just firmly tell her that you have no interest in playing her games and that you'd prefer it if she stayed out of your life. Any time she contacts you after that, just hang up, walk away, or in some other way break contact. You don't have to put up with people like this - you have absolutely no obligation to her whatsoever. If your boyfriend has to ask why, explain to him that you were tired of her threatening you and making false accusations.
  10. Aleadragonhawk
    Perhaps a slight bit off topic, but a question to those posting in this thread - how long do you feel a normal engagement should last? At what point does it become not an engagement, just a committed relationship with plans to marry?
  11. Aleadragonhawk
    Wow, sounds like a lot of drama going on. Just talk to the guy. And if you want to go play football and don't know how? Don't try to fake it. Be upfront - "I want to play, but I haven't before, so be patient with me, okay?" Unless it's a really competitive game, they'll probably be glad to help you learn the sport.
  12. Aleadragonhawk
    Using two condoms at once is actually a really darn good way to guarantee that they both break - it's far more likely than with one condom.
  13. Aleadragonhawk
    Remember, with Skype, computer to computer is free - so if he's got a laptop hooked up, all you need is a mic.
  14. Aleadragonhawk
    This isn't a path that most people would advise, but it's one that I think would work in this situation - try sitting down with your boyfriend and actually talking to him about the way that you've been feeling, and what in particular about your relationship you've found unsatisfying. This conversation might end up in the relationship ending, yes - or it might end up in you both deciding to work harder on the relationship that you have currently. Either way, I think that honesty about your emotions is really the best way to go. You're young, and it's never a good idea to "suffer in silence" because breaking up is seen as socially undesirable.
  15. Aleadragonhawk
    He's being totally irrational. They can have a rafting trip at some other time - your wedding takes priority over that, and he's got to understand that.
  16. Aleadragonhawk
    The biggest mistake that people make is going into marriage thinking that it will in some way change or fix your relationship. Nothing is going to change - he'll still be exactly the same person. So ask yourself seriously if this is what you want.
  17. Aleadragonhawk
    Santh2007, you sound like a very religious person. If you're currently attending a church, you might try speaking with your priest, pastor, or other religious leader about the situation that you are in right now and everything that has happened in the past with your husband. It's in times like these that religious leaders are very important, because they can help guide you through the hard times without breaking from your faith. I think that your questions about breaking your vow to God are questions that are very hard to answer...and I hope that you have the strength to talk to someone about your situation and the decisions that you have to make.
  18. Aleadragonhawk
    Crystal, it really does sound like this guy is totally ignoring your emotions and feelings because he has his own desires. Relationships are about compromise, but you shouldn't have to be the one doing all of it! His behavior is really showing that he doesn't care about you.
  19. Aleadragonhawk
    I think that what you are doing here is projecting your own emotions over onto this man. You feel disappointed in yourself, angry, frustrated, and like your failing grades make you in some way not good enough for him - so you're projecting all of these emotions that you are having over onto him. The only way you can know how he'll feel about it is to talk to him about it, though. More than being concerned about your relationship right now and his possible reactions to your grades while under academic probation, I'd worry about school. I get a distinct feeling from your posts that education means a lot to you. There should be resources at your college that will help you get your feet back beneath you - some colleges even offer free tutoring. When things are going badly, one really important thing to see in a relationship is that the other person is actively working to make things better - if you're working very hard at college, he'll probably be a lot less likely to judge you. And yes, I am working under the assumption that you aren't fully applying yourself, but that's usually the case when a priorly good student starts turning up with failing grades.
  20. Aleadragonhawk
    Take a deep breath. Count to three. Then call her, and tell her that you need to talk to her about what's been going on. Honesty is always the best track to go, especially when you're confused about what's going on. She's the only person who can tell you if she's acting as a friend, or if she has a romantic interest in you, or if she's really just rebounding from her old boyfriend. Be honest with her about what's been going on and how it's been making you feel, and expect the same honesty back from her - if she's not willing to be a grown-up and talk it out, she's bad news.
  21. Aleadragonhawk
    This topic made me think, so I decided to ask my fiancee his reasons for wanting to get married. One of his reasons? "I'll get cheaper automobile insurance."
  22. Aleadragonhawk
    When I was young, I had an experience somewhat similar to what you've described, and I found out in the end to be very suspicious when someone isn't forthcoming with details about their real life. He turned out to be over sixty with two children and two ex-wives. I was thirteen. His refusals to step into anything that resembles "real life" territory - phone calls, cards, pictures, etc - makes me immediately think that he's lying to you, and probably about some pretty significant things. It's easy for an outsider to say that something is going on though, and pretty hard to accept it when it's someone that you care about. I don't think an ultimatum would be out of place here - "explain what's going on, or stop talking to me."
  23. Aleadragonhawk
    I know that you've said that you don't want to stop talking to this guy, but it sounds like he's having real trouble respecting your boundaries! I'd tell him to start behaving, or I'd stop talking to him, myself - you don't need to have to deal with someone spamming you every time you log in.
  24. Aleadragonhawk
    It sounds like you're both going through a very stressful time, and it can be really hard to deal with a relationship when there are a lot of stressors in your life. I think it sounds pretty healthy for him to be wanting to take a step back right now, but you need to talk with him and make sure of where you stand and what you both are going to expect out of your changed relationship.
  25. Aleadragonhawk
    There are two major things here that stood out to me. #1 is that you have never met any of these women. #2 is that the majority of women you described he's either A. had a relationship with or B. slept with. You feeling uncomfortable here is entirely rational. Another thing that screams problem to me here is that his friend wanted to stay with him -- he specifically ASKED you if you minded -- you said YES -- and he STILL had the friend stay with him. This is irresponsible, disrespectful, and flat-out wrong.
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