AntiLove_SuperStar

My general opinion on ending relationships is that it should be face to face, alone but in a discreet public place to avoid any nasty reaction if you think they could get a bit..violent. So..quiet corner of a quiet coffee shop would be a decent place, and lead into it gently, thank them for the good times, give them a humane, decent reason and stick to it. Basically.

I had a feeling I was onto a winner when, 4 weeks after we met, he took me to a supermarket, bought a load of fireworks, drove to the park, found a place and set them all off even though it was FREEZING and they kept going out...he was so determind to make them all work...aahhhh Im slushy. And he kept driving a long way to see me for just two days at a time.

I think at least 3 of my past relationships have started with them asking me out over MSN and I said yes. I dont think asking is the problem, as espeically for shy people it can be a less awkward way. However, you gotta be careful you dont just start using it as a substitute for any tricky conversations you really ought to be having face to face later on in the relationship.

Well I think it varies..my boyfriend and I didnt have sex for 4 months, not because of relationship problems..just wanted to wait/ had to wait for various reasons. If you care about the person, it shouldnt be too much of a big deal. Icant believe I typed that, sex used to be EVERYTHING to me! Good grief.

You maybe cannot be you because you do not know what *you* is? It sounds like you really need to release/cut contact with toxic people (*the people who dont care..*)..they can nothing for you, thats the first thing you should do, along with telling at least ONE of your closest family members/friends. And if your friend wont listen, question why they are a friend! Drop the act and do not strive for perfection..I hate that word, it makes so many people cry. There is no such thing apart from God that is *Perfection*.

Little trips away with mates, just to the coast for a couple of days staying in a dirtcheap hostel..that was/is rather good. Making movies with a close friend of me..we are "shooting" one on anorexia/soft porn tomorrow (yeah..nowhere did I say I was conventional) Educating myself..I can read up on anything from the water cycle to Italian politics..its never a waste of time just to absorb articles, whether from online, books, etc. Walking a lot. Urban ranging, in other words. I take black and white photos when Im out. Hair braiding..heh maybe not for everyone, kills a couple of hours though like it did yesterday with a friend of mine

I admire your (seemingly, to me anyway) balanced outlook..it always comes accross as honest and realistic! You dont have any children etc..some people may say that that's a liberating thing, you are responsible for noone but yourself. If I was around your age Id be interested, from what I read on here anyway! Any lady with you wouldnt be unfortunate, I dont reckon. Thanks for sharing.

I cannot think of much to add to what the other posters have said; but I was shocked to see someone such as yourself write a post like this - you are intelligent, compassionate and articulate, definitely not a loser.

I had around 4-6 on my hands when I was younger (aboout 14), but after a year or so they just..disappeared.

I almost wish I was straightforwardly suicidal, instead of this determination to hang on mixed in with a real wish to die. Since my very low point a few weeks ago, I have sought professional help (more of it than previously). I have another counselling session very soon, Im under doctors monitoring, etc. I have really worked on trying to figure out emotions - journalling, scrapbooking, posting on messagebaords, talking to friends, talking to boyfriend. Ive tried *Natural Antidepressants* - exercise (a bit too much ,actually, often 2hrs + per day), Being Outside Every Day, eating frequently and at least vaguely sensibly, trying to think positively...I am/have been really, really trying. Ive been keeping fairly busy, seeing old and new friends. Ive tried to even talk to my parents more, just on day to day basis. Ive got sorted with driving; im well on my way with it. Ive even started looking for a part time job again. But heres the bad bit. Underneath it all, I am still precisely as miserable and on the verge of admitting myself to an emergency room as I was a while ago. I think about death and suicide so, so much. Everything hurts so, so much. Despite all my attempts at the above, Im slipping, I had today off college because I couldnt cope with it (I had an *ear infection*..heh) and I still cry everyday. No idea what to do. I scream because Im that desperate. But ironically because Im not black and weepy I think Id just be laughed at if I ever told anyone I was in *crisis*, if you understand me. Stuff like eating disordered behaviour and self harm has increased for me lately, but the thought of telling people close to me makes me cry more because it'd really hurt some of them. Im pro choice as regards to suicide. This isnt a suicide note, this is a note from a suicidal person, though.

Deep, daily depression and the fact nothing gives me any real pleasure anymore.

girls find it easier to have sex??..dont you need a guy for that (apart from lesbianism)..so surely for every girl that gets it theres a guy that gets it, so how do girls have it easier? Or have I missed something?

Well I know I can be overdramatic, but thats incredibly disrespectful and he'd be a dumped guy if he was *my* boyfriend.

I dont think he'll ever marry you, and yes he is telling you the truth. but can you live with knowing that its never going to be, for want of a better phrase, "the ultimate (married, that is)" relationship? For me, part of a relationship is the assumption in the bground that its a permanent thing, otherwise why would I bother working to build an emotional future with the other person? And at what point would you two know when to part..I dont know, seems a little unbearable.

Thats one for me, but id say Anger of any variety is a big one, or frustration/feeling that ill never achieve anything.

Hmm well you could do all the following: -Invite them round to play with your cat so they can see how he scratches -Thank them for their concern and emphasise how much you appreciate it, but that you really are OK -Tell them to mind their own business if the above fails..you are a grown adult!

No, im not

I can go this week, I reckon. Have to go anyway because of something else, so Ill definitely talk about it. thank you for replies

Lately, Ive had some very weird symptoms. Mainly things like Random cramps in legs, and in abdomen and round lower back, but not PMS style (I dont really get that anyway)..sort of different, like, at the sides, and sometimes severe. Ive had these on/off for a couple of months or so, but lately they have been worse, in Drama I had to sit still for a bit, it was hideous and quite scary. I go to the loo a LOT. I mean, yesterday, I went about 3 times in one hour. And there is occasionally, as in every few days, a foul metallic taste in my mouth. It takes a lot of flavourful food to get rid of it. Thats been going on about 3 weeks. And the latest thing...I keep itching. And its in random places over my body, its very noticeable, its not dry skin (or anything I can see on the surface, anyway). I was totally perplexed by the itching - there are many explanations for cramps and maybe going to the loo more - but the itching was WEIRD, I looked like I had fleas for about 30 minutes..anyway..so I did a quick google search and several websites said that going to the loo excessivly+itching+cramps+weird taste in mouth are good indications of kidney disease. back to the doctors i go, i guess. yearrghh..stupid body, stupid (possibly) kidney..

Sometimes, it really *isnt* going to get any better...Im pro choice on this one.

I'm completely torn over the suicide issue. I have a couple of mental lists. *PRO*- List -Everyone has a right to die should they wish, or at least I believe so -Some mental illnesses are horrific and death would be a more pleasant alternative -Your family would indeed be traumatised, but it wouldnt kill them -Everyone dies anyway, its merely speeding up the process *CONS* - List -It inflicts pain on family/friends even though they can live without you -No one knows for certain what, if anything, lies beyond this life -Life can do a 180 degree thing in just a few days, so sometimes its worth sticking around just to see what happens -You havnt yet met the next person you could make a positive impact on Self injury...Id rather take things out on me than others, of course in an ideal world Id be able to handle my emotions in the first place.

I battle with emotional eating a lot but maintain thinnes through compulsive exercise when im at my worst..but.. Sometimes, when I can motivate myself, I write in my journal and collage in it to let the feelings out and that helps. There reaches a point where sometimes you HAVE to binge though, its either that or go loco/another worse form of selfharm.

Coming at it from another angle, I'm almost 18 and I havnt been single for about 1.5 years, 2 years, something like that. Yeah, sometimes it is amazingly good and at the moment, Ive got a great guy, etc. But it IS a lot of effort to maintain a good relationship and sometimes yes, its overrated, and it doesnt solve all your life problems..start seeing a relationship as a nice extra bonus, not a crucial part of, life.

Good Attitude, Sista!!

Getting older. Big crowds. Never finding anyone to share my life with. (even when I have a relationship, as is case now..lol Im strange)