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  1. So, I keep harming myself for what my ex did and left me with, bruises scars memories of horrid times etc, but for some reason I'm punishing myself for his actions, 50 part of me says its not ur fault but the other 50 says it is your fault, so I cannot decide and I feel alone in my head waiting for me to stop but I'm gonna reach out for support. I've felt really low since he raped me, yes I know I should of got help but he took away everything, any mobile device I had to contact anyone etc so I had no one to reach out to. He'd also threaten me if I told anyone what was happening I'd be dead, but that's when I started self harming which really made me plumit down because self harm is a pain relief well for me it is but the pain still comes back which sucks but right now I'm working with police to move on from this man!! I'm feeling so much stronger since I left him and moved away so he can't find me etc and now I'm working with police for my safety!!
  2. Hi all. I've recently split up with my gf. Shes a self harmer among alot of other things - and no I'm not being nasty. I just can't get past the real reason for her doing it. It seems that every time it happens its an effort to control someone. Its happened 3 times to me with her, where I've said I need time to think or something and then after a barrage of calls from her as to why I'm taking some time WHAM!! she hurts herself and I come running. Shes even blamed me for the self harm - saying its becoz I wouldn't see her when she wanted... She's cheated on me in the past. Something, which I can't get over and so we split up - but then, she goes and hurts herself the worst I've seen so far. She wanted me to come running, but I couldn't - not this time. She's in hospital under observation atm and has been for the past week. I guess my question to the self - harmers out there is, you don't do it to control someone do you??? You do it to release emotion??? You also do it by yourself (or would rather that) As my ex will do it in front of someone - (she did it in front of her dad when they argued about something) Do you think her self harm is more manipulation??? Coz it only seems to happen when she doesn't get her way is all......
  3. Hi everybody, I found out a few weeks back that about 18 months ago my girlfriend (of about 3 1/2 months) used to self harm. She is very conscious of the scars that she has on her arms and legs, making sex a little uncomfortable for her, but i have assured her that i dont and will not look at the scars if she doesnt want me to. I have noticed the scars and she always tries to hide them with clothes, her hands or bed covers. ......The thing is that since she told me i have been feeling a bit depressed. I sleep a lot and cant eat much, i dont even feel like studying. I also feel like i cant talk to anyone about this because it is such a personal thing to her, this just makes me fel even more desperate. She said she used to do it due to pressure at school and home. When she told me, i was obviously shocked but i thought i would be fine with it. But a few days later i became really desperately sad about it, i almost felt panic-stricken when i thought about it. I had to force myself to calm down before i had some sort of panic attack. It made me sad to think how someone so beautiful, intelligent, funny, happy and loving could have been reduced to harming herself because of the pressure placed upon her by others. It also made me angry to think that these people probably dont know what they did, and that she is the one left with the scars (both physical and emotional) whilst they get off relatively free. I told her at the time that she never has to go through that again (im glad that she hasnt done it for 18 months so im guessing she is past that now). I told her i will protect her and help her should she feel that pressure again. I dont know what to to, im not sure if i should tell her that it has bothered me so much, or just leave it be becuase i dont know what good it will do to bring it up again. I feel like i want to get in a time machine and go back 18 months and stop all those people that caused her to do that to herself. I want her to be able to enjoy our sex life even more by not being so conscious of the scars. I want to know 100% that she will never do that again. And i want to know that i cant never cause her pressure like that, due to sex or our lives in general. But i cant do or know all those things... Any advice or guidance on how i can get past this and make myself feel better will me appreciated ever so much. Thanks, abc.
  4. I've been starving myself recently. I'm not sure if this is a case of self harm fuelled by self hatred or whether I'm in need of some control. My life is not going the way I planned and I'm deeply unhappy.
  5. OMG! No one will leave me alone! My solo journals had to be deleted because i thought my friend was reading them now i find out she wasn't but one of my old youth leaders has been asking about me and so they are gonna discuss my depression and self harm and eating habbits i bet to. Why can't anyone mind their own business? I mean she ain't my best friend and she ain't my boyfriend. I've done my best to act happy around those people for a reason. I don't need them asking questions. If i need help then i'll ask. But guess what i don't want help with self harm right now. I kinda need it and as for not eating and throwing up i have freaking control over it. I know this sounds really selfish and stuff but seriously if i wanted help then i would ask. And espeacially not from this person. I just hope she doesn't find out i'm bi thats exactly what i'd need. I mean i'm damn proud of it. I wouldn't change it but some people don't accept it thats all. And ahhh i dunno... I'm so stressed about everything. Sorry there isn't really a purpose in this i just needed to get it out...
  6. I havent been here in a while and to be honest its done me some good. I am getting my life back into order and things seem to be looking up for me. I have decided to get independent - finally. I am going to move out after graduation next July which gives me plenty of time to plan things out and make it fool proof so my family will not try to restrain me in any way. I am going to do this with or without their blessing - enough is enough. I figure if I do it after graduation I will not have any long term commitments which means I can leave Glasgow which is my aim. If I leave now then that means my education will get disrupted and I cannot risk that with my exams around the corner. I am going to claim back my year's wages that my parents took off me, just over £4000 in fact since that account is still in my name and that should be enough to support me for some time. I have been seeing my counsellor at university regularly and he has been brilliant in helping me face my problems and it just feels good to openly talk to someone who I know will not judge me. I called Scottish Womens Aid just over a week ago and I have arranged an appointment with them for this Wednesday coming. Now that I am determined to get my life back, I rarely have suicidal thoughts and I have stopped self harming. Looking back at myself a couple of months ago I had accepted my current situation as my fate and I felt I couldnt fight it. There is a limit to everything and my family are pushing me to the edge. I am doing something now and I couldnt be happier, my family's words dont affect as much because I know now that I am doing something to beat this. Im finally getting out.
  7. Hi guys, heres another random poll, out of those who self harm who does it to 1) feel something 2) get the attention they need 3) get angry and just do it 4) wake up in the morning and find it there. If anyone else has any other reasons plz inform.
  8. "If there's nothing physical there's nothing wrong." I've been telling myself this for the past year. I think there's three types of self harm. The long time pain and long time harm - starving yourself. The short time pain and short time harm - cutting The short time pain and long time harm - drugs. I'm a cutter. I go periods of starving myself and the idea of overdosing hovers around my head constantly. I can't ask my friends for help, as they have severe problems of their own. Mental health is fragile. It's not physical, there doesn't have to be any physical evidence that something is wrong. There is a problem long before physical symptoms come through. What I'm trying to say is, don't be afraid to see a counsellor. You can be struggling without having to cut or starve. They're just cries for help. Don't resort to cutting to let people know there is something wrong. I was always afraid to seek help. I started cutting. Now I'll never be able to stop. I'm hurting my friends but I'm still afraid to see a counsellor because I don't want anyone else to know about the self harm. Seek help before it gets to that.
  9. i am soo confused. my recent ex (jack) split up with me because i failed to tell him that my ex (jason) before him tried to rape me. i was devastated and dropped the case against jason because i couldnt cope and i started self harming. i was beginning to console myself, kept telling myself that it is time to move on and just concentrate on other things. jack called me 2 nights ago and is saying that he was out of line for leaving me like that and that he is sorry. ive been messed around soo much i dont know if i should give him another chance or not. i dont want to get hurt again but i still care about him. i am meeting him today after work to set the record straight but im worried. i love him but how can i guarantee he wont do that to me again? should i give him a second chance?
  10. hey everyone, i was talking this over with a friend, and i wanted to have the question answered ''is suicide about control'' i can remember being in a vulnerable state and wanting to act upon it, and when i look back at the situation and what was happening to me i realised that what i was doing was gaining my own self control back. maybe suicide is not the word im looking for but maybe self harm, or just maybe attempted suicide. i mean i know i have done things that put me on the edge but i had never actually harmed myself, i put myself out there inches from it and then took myself back or controlled the situation to know no bad would come of it. so my question is, i found that i wanted to regain control of my body. whats your reason? anyone doing this through control? i hope people dont take offence. kel
  11. I can't stand seeing other people get hurt, or even hear about anyone else get hurt. Because I wish it were me instead. Ever since I was young I envisioned situations where I got injured - being beat up on the way to school, car accidents, tripping and breaking my leg, even getting cancer. I imagine it in my head all the time. Everytime I'm doing something I twist it so I get hurt. I've never acted upon these thoughts but I do self harm sometimes. How do I stop these thoughts?
  12. Ok i found out last week that my best friend has just started self harming which was a big shock because she has always sed that she would never and couldn't hurt herself. wat shall i do?
  13. I've been self-harming for a few years now and my parents found out about a year back because I needed stitches... they flipped out and have decided I'm part of a self-harm ring which is crazy, I don't know anyone else who does this so where that got that from I don't know... Anyway my boyfriend always tries to talk to me about it and he's done all this research which is fine but whenever he does talk to me he reels out these statistics and it feels like he's put in a box or something. Like he's not talking to me, Ally, but to a Repetitive Self-Harmer who etc etc etc And he didn't used to be like this, he used to be ok but a month back he had to take me to accident and emergency and since then he's just gone weird. And so there's noone who understands that I can talk to... how can I get them to change?
  14. I knew this would happen! My family and friends have subtley (sp) approached about the scratches on my hands and arms. At first I laughed that they thought I was self harming, I explained it was my cat, he is a player and when he is up high he likes play on the curtains. Its funny, yeah he catches me once or twice but no behaviour issues. I have stopped playing with him now just to prove but he scratched me again the other day. My friend said she knew someone at school who self harmed and that she got help. She's close to my sister which rang and again skirted round the topic! I just can't believe this and that they won't believe it's my mog! It's so crazy, just had to tell someone who believes me. Please I do not mean any offence to anyone who suffers from self harm and I am not making a joke of it. I just wanted advice on how to make someone see sense. Maybe this is really too silly but it's so frustrating! (I have never done it in the past)
  15. I was self harming for about a year on my legs as result i have many scars which i hate with a passion! Thanks to my boyfiend though iv managed to throw away all my cutting stuff and havent self harmed scinse september. Here's my problem though i have a dance and drama scholarship at a private school (the scholarship being the only reason im lucky enough to be at a private school) with high expectations from teachers and family that im gonna be the next Nicol Kidman (which would be a dream come true). But how many film stars do you see which ugly scars all over there legs? No-one except my boy friend knows about the self harm and im just dreading the day im at an auditon or in some situatin where i have to show my legs. I mean if you were a director and you had the choice between two identicly talented actors wouldn't you rather pick the one with out the scars.
  16. My friends ex I have recently found out used to self harm, and caused alot of hassle and worry for my friend. They split up because the ex has a lot of issues which she needs to sort out amongst other things. She also has a kid who also has problems. My friend is the most loving caring person I know and understandably she worries about her ex and what she might do. Her ex is also jealous of my friend being with any1 else. I feel as tho my friend feels some responsibility towards her ex and would feel guilty if anything happened to her. she (the ex) has been having problems dealing with her kid lately and has threatened my friend with putting her kid into care (she wanted my friend to look after him but she has got to kids of her own and they dont all get on so she said no)! I want to be there for her, but I dont know how to deal with the situation, I have never known anyone who self harmed or had these kind of issues. THis all happened tonight, I sent her a txt sying she wasnt responsible for her exs actions, n that maybe wud be a good thing if exs kid went into care then maybe it will push her to sort herself out I dint get a reply, not sure if I said the right thing! I tried to ring her to see if she was ok, but is just went to VM left a message saying I jus wanted to check she was ok n I was here if she wanted to chat guess I jus hav to wait now. My questions are: How do I be there for her in this situation? Did I overstep the mark saying wot i did?
  17. Those of you who know, I broke up with my g/f last month. This obviousely casued problems and these are things that have come from it and stuff;- - Well been very depressed but have started to lift out of that and have had afew highs lately. - Problem is she is getting with my "so called best mate". - I have finally taken all things of her that are on computer and saved them to CD then deleted them from computer. And filed that along with pictures and things away. Made me cry soo much though. - Also really I found the best way to make mypain go away is drinking. And I dont want to go down that avenue and how long can this last. - Is there something wrong with me because I really want to see my own blood ooze from like my mouth or body. I not self harming but want to see the blood. - finally all my problems have come at once. First I lost the girl I loved to my best mate, secondly I am stuck in a boring job with no job satisfaction but I need to keep it so I can get a referance, finally I am getting really behind in my school work and will be lucky to get a D grade in my A2 biology at the rate im going. This is cos I have not got time to study cos of work which I cant quit yet and need to pay for alcahol. Ok sorry that was very long and had no logical order, but would be appretiated if anybody could just say anything bout any of these points. Thought I was doing well till I ound my ex was seeing best mate behind my back and both were lying to me. Now I turning into a screwball again.
  18. I know there is alot of more deserving cases on here that need to be looked at. But can you class this as self harming. Well some of you may know I was scared my g/f was going to leave me, and I felt I really hurt her so I got rather emotional. I left the hours about half 12 at night and walked round my village, anyway what I was going to say is. That I took my pain and anger out on a holy bush by trying to beat it up. Pretty stupid idea, anyway you can gues I cut up my nuckes and parts of my fingers. Could you class this as self harming is what I was wondering?
  19. Hey I've been self harming for nearly a year and it's starting to get really out of control and I've realised that the one person I've told (my boyfriend) cant properly help me and I need proffessional help. The only thing is I'm 14 and to be able to get that help i need to tell my parents. So if anyones got any ideas or could tell me how they told their parents that would be amazing! x x x x x
  20. Hi All For the past 4 years Ive been banging my head against walls, punching walls, slapping and punching myself . I also Bang my legs against walls . And for the past two years I have been hiding my bruises and have to lie about my injuries and the marks i leave on myself. Ive done loads of crazy things when Im self harming myself(I never cut myself) Lately its on my mind most of the time . It make me feel angry and my self esteem is very low .. I know what causes my inner rages but how can i stop it HELP
  21. these are 2 poems ive been doing they might disturb someone but i feel i need to share them with someone..... cries She cries every night only for him She’s screaming and crying That’s where the cutting begins She grabs the razor and holds it over her wrist She starts to draw a picture, a picture with a twist An “X” going accross the vain of her right arm It’s not that she's an “ Emo” she just loves self harm As she bleeds she gets light headed She looks at her arm while the blood has spreaded A single tear runs down her cheek She's almost lost it and she's just gone weak She falls to the ground with a giant bang She gets back up and cuts again Her ocean of blood is around her feet She's done her work of art, her picture is complete She looks in the mirror and bows her head She stares at her wrist as they infection spreads Her hands are all covered in blood And the bottom of her shoes are covered in mud This how her story ends No parents nor any friends She's down in hell cuz suicide is a sin Now she will let a new life begin The cuts Cutting crying little girl why are you so sad? Little girl why do you want to die, I ask you why? Why are you cutting then bleeding hoping to die? Cutting crying little girl why do you cry? What’s wrong little girl is something wrong? Help me understand. Little girl dry your eyes, there’s always another life. Cutting crying little girl do you need help? Little girl why are you cutting? Little girl why don’t you wanna stay? Look little girl I’m always here, why are you crying then cutting again? Cutting crying little girl you say you don’t even understand? Little girl don’t cry, give me that razor don’t hurt yourself. Don’t cut anymore it only makes things worse. Cutting crying little girl see you stopped crying. Look at your arm all your scars are healing. Little girl don’t cry anymore look at the sky it’s not that black you see anymore. You see little girl the sun’s rays are kissing your face. What’s wrong? Why are crying again? Your not crying little girl you’re laughing instead. Those aren’t the tears of pain and sorrow; they’re tears of joy and play. Little girl just drop that razor, no more cutting crying wishing for dying. Smile little girl your finally free. Go play little girl, don’t be afraid. Little girl I’m leaving now, don’t worry look in the mirror little girl, it was you all along. You just passed your own nightmare little girl. No more cutting crying and bleeding. Happy little girl that’s your new name.
  22. Theres a girl at school who selfharms. Shes told me and shown me some of her scars and I am the only person who knows. Shes learning how to open up and we've been talking more and more recently. She comes from a rough background (I'm not gunna go into it, but theres plenty for her to be dealing with) and suffers with depression. Shes got lots going on at home, and stuff at school, and ... theres just so much for one person to cope with. I want to help her. I'm so glad that she can come to talk to me rather than keeping everything inside. The problem is, I just never know what to reply to her. I never know what to say. ... this is where you guys come in ... when you talk to people about your self harming, what kind of things do you want to hear? I mean, I know theres not some magical phrase that'll make it all better... but i get to "ahh Honey come here..." hug her... and just never know what to say after that. I would be really grateful for anything you can give me Liz
  23. Okay I thought we could all pull together and try and help eachother here.. things that you help vent your anger other then self harming even if it reduces how much you self harm it will help right? So heres mine: Excersise: Not sit ups, that kinda stuff I mean dancing round your room to your favorite music and dancing like mad. It releases loads of endorfins in your head and makes you feel a lot better! Eat Healthy: Healthy food makes you feel better about yourself. Stay social: If it's online, phoning a friend to catch up or posting on this message board. New Hobbies: I picked up abstract painting, it's very theraputic. and for me but I don't recommend anyone starting.. I smoke too.. Come up with anything you find helps you when your stressed. Take care, ~S.
  24. I'd stopped self harming for about a month or something. I can't really remember how long but it was ages. I've been going threw a lot of emotional stress right now with work, college, home and friends. I'd been trying to keep it all in which I was doing a good job of. I still go to see my counciler every week. Today I found a confruntion with someone at college a little too much to handle. She was acusing me of steeling her lighter or something that I hadn't done. She raised her voice at me and said I was full of crap, put me down, made me feel really annoyed. Then later in class she asked me what was wrong. I said 'I was already in a 'crap' mood and you just had to go and make it worse didn't you?' then she was trying to be nice to me like what she had said was perfectly normal. Justifying it even. But it had allready got too much by that time and I'd already self harmed. It doesn't hurt anymore. No mater what I do. I'd never done it outside home and I think it might turn into a problem if I do. I don't need knifes or sharp objects to make myself bleed. It just seems to be getting worse and I feel so angry with everyone around me. I don't know how to deal with it anymore. I tried really hard not to self harm, it was working! But in the end it just tore into me so much I was shaking so bad because I wanted to do it. I'm atually really beggining to scare myself. I know I wouldn't do anything to another person because I've always been lacking in self confidence and took my anger out on myself. Thats why I self harm I think. Because I'm scared to talk to people about what they have done wrong, so I get angry with myself, I hurt myself, they do it even more. My grandparents are just making things worse for me. I've tried telling them how I feel and they just won't listen to me. They know I 'used to cut' but don't know I still ocationally do. But it's just getting to the point where I'm atually begginging to enjoy the pain because it's something that calms me. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm scared. I'm scared of finishing college and I'm scared of being alone and having to move out. I'm so angry that I can't think streight. I don't know is there anything I can do to change the way I'm thinking? Thanks, ~S.
  25. I've got an even bigger problem now.... my friend doesn't know I self harm and I'm going to visit her at university for a week on the 14th of febuary in about 2 weeks time. I know I shouldn't self harm before i go and let the cuts heal but they won't be healed compleatly by then. What should I do? Do I stock up on wrist warmers? I don't want to upset her because she has enough problems with out this. Any ideas how to cover it up? Thanks, ~S.
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