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About Me

  1. I just wanted to share my positive feels, I cannot believe I've gone nearly a whole year without cutting Also today I did my first lecture to 150 students, so that felt good to get that first terrifying accomplishment out of the way.
  2. I've had a really hard time managing my depression lately. The medication doesn't work. Therapy isn't working either. I thought I was getting better but have since then nose dived. I've been reading about self harm and it seems to provide relief for many people. Has anyone tried this and did it work for you? I'm perfectly aware it's not healthy. But I'll try anything at this point.
  3. I got black out drunk on the weekend and found myself crying like a baby and digging my nails straight accross my arms drawing blood. I haven't self harmed since I was 14. I'm 21 now. I have no idea why I did this and it's been terrifying me for days... how do I handle this?
  4. I know a lot of you will be aware of this but I've done it a few times and it sometimes works for me. The butterfly project is a way to help stop self harming. You draw a butterfly on yourself in vivid (do not do this on your cuts!!!). If you do any form of self harm the butterfly dies. You can only harm again when it has faded off naturally although you can keep drawing them if this methods work for you. You can draw as many butterflies as you want and you can even name them, but it only takes one cut to kill them all. I know it seems cheesy but it works for some people and you can get so muc
  5. Personally, I cut. (I do also hit myself, pull out my hair and burn myself, but not nearly as often as I cut. Cutting is my main relief.) I cut for a number of reasons all of which are listed below. I'm just curious to see why others cut themselves & what kind of feelings it gives them in that moment. Punishment: If I feel like I've done something wrong, or the feeling of being bad person becomes overwhelming, I'll cut myself. The pain feels good, like I deserve it, and for some reason I've warped myself into thinking if I bleed enough the bad parts of me will flow out with it.
  6. hey, do you guys know any movies or books on self harm???????????
  7. Hi. I'm new to the forum. 26 years old and in a perfectly happy place in my life. However, it wasn't always so, and I'm suffering from the bad mistakes I made in my past As a teenager I was very depressed and self-destructive. I would occasionally self harm. I also got a lot of piercings and a tattoo as a way of self-harming and an act of self-deprecating. One tattoo on my back, I decided to have removed as was a bad reminder of my past and a bad reminder of who I used to be and the things I used to do to myself. Fortunately, the lasers removed all of the ink from my 2x3 inch tattoo.
  8. I am really really struggling with coping at the moment and finding it hard not to be tempted to cut...already started banging my head against the wall. I don't know what to do.
  9. So my best friend since kindergarten got involved in a personal issue of mine and lied to me and idk what to do. In short I had a friend I was super close, traveled with to uni even and lived together , but we ended breaking it off since we were toxic for each other. Anyway she reached out to me recently thru the phone and we’ve been in touch, chatting daily, up on the phone till morning, she’d confide in me about her problems and once sent me some old seductive videos of her (and lied about dating a guy and needing my advice, which was the only red flag I saw so far but I managed to han
  10. Hi everyone. New to this so please be gentle. I have been in a relationship with my partner almost 7 years, can't say i am happy anymore that would be lying. My partner is very strict with her diet through the week, eats well, lots of exercise and won't even think about treats of any kind, but come the weekend i meet an entirely new person. She drinks from roughly 5pm GMT on a saturday and Sunday until she is very drunk (talks funny, incoherent, stumbles etc) then she will binge eat literally any treat she can find but also strangely tries to sleep at the same time so you can imagine the mess
  11. We broke up two weeks ago and she kept sending me msgs how she loves me how it hurts her so much and how she can't live her life without me. Since, I basically started a NC with her, I decided to call her and to explain to her that she can't keep sending me msgs all the time and that I am not her friend. I am someone who wants ONLY relationship or nothing with her. In the meantime I sent her a very long mail in which I explained everything she did bad to me. When I called her I saw a that she was willing to get back with me and she at 1st said "I want only you!". Then I wanted her to tell my f
  12. I was picking up my bedroom and saw my boyfriends old phone box on the ground. I opened it up to make sure there wasn't anything he'd need in it to be sure before I threw it away, and instead discovered he's using it as a memory or hope box of some sort. ATTENTION PEOPLE THIS IS WHY WE CONSTANTLY SAY DONT SNOOP BUT SOMETIMES WE CANT EVEN TAKE OUR OWN ADVICE! Curiosity got the best of me and I looked through it. At first it was cute to me, he had all of our movie tickets in there, some pictures from his childhood, a old jewish proverb (he's Jewish) but then I saw a strange small orange
  13. Ok before starting this thread I want to first of say that this isn't major thing I just want to know if it is or isn't a problem, it will be short but that is literally all I want to know.for a back ground of me click on my profile and then the last thread I posted. Ok so since last time I posted things are a lot better, I'm not constantly depressed and just feel better in myself(thanks for the comments). But recently I have been having these sudden periods of anger where I just want to do anything I'm cable of to the closest person to me. They are just sudden bursts of rage. I can control
  14. For the past few years I've been addicted to an online video game and it's steadily gotten worse. I can't stop playing it. I live eat and breathe the game, I barely work, just enough to survive and then it's playing the game 10 hours a day. I've been getting so incredibly angry at the game lately that i've started to lash out at the world, punching holes in walls, self-harm, from all the negatively stored inside, it's a very competitive game and even when things happen that I have no control over, I find myself getting so mad in my effort to be the best my stomach hurts. I feel like a tick
  15. Hi, I haven't been here for such a long time. But I am totally struggling with something right now that I just don't know how to deal with. Self harm... It's not a new thing for me, and I did think I had largely left it behind in my teenage years, only for it to come back with a vengeance in my 30's. It's not something that people on here generally know about me. As a teenager, it was mainly scratches and bruises, progressed to cutting and now chemical burns. through the nature of my work I have easy access to scalpel blades and various caustic chemicals/acids. It has even got as far as
  16. I wonder if post break up we have stories of realizing our partner that left us was caring enough to leave us because he/she realized they were poison to us. For example, my now ex-H, almost was caring enough--lol. When he was under severe psychological stress he had entertained divorcing me for the sake of my safety and that of our child, as his mental illness was causing him to obsess about harming us. I decided to stand by him and give him support so that he wouldn't self harm. It was years later he told me that he was on the verge of divorce for those reasons. Fast forward a de
  17. This is going to be a rant to help me clear my mind a bit as well as trying to get some helpful advice from others who have had similar problems. I have been married for 6&1/2 years and we have been together for over 12 years. The last two years I have been off sick due to chest problems and as a result not able to help out around the house much. But it is getting to the stage where she has been sick two days in bed and two days so far of mopping around and I have tried my best to look after our 4 kids my wife the pets and myself which I don't feel like doing but know I have to.
  18. For about a week I have been bursting into tears at the slightest thing. I cry because my grandpa died and I couldn't save him. I cry because of how it hurts that I was abused when I was little, I feel dirty. I cry becuase people tell me I am a wonderful person but I don't think I have done anything to deserve it. I cry becuase I don't think I deserve my friends and my boyfriend. Last night I self harmed and all I wanted to do was die and be in permanent torture. I have this dark globe inside me which is just waiting to break. I ended up crying for an hour on my boyfriends should with blood
  19. My girlfriend and I have been together 2 years and at the beginning of our relationship both of us struggled with self harm. We both realized that it was hurting us more than helping us and stopped. Recently we took a break in our relationship as we were both dealing with personal issues and decided that we needed to work on ourselves so our relationship could go a little better. (That's a long story). Basically our break lasted two days and then I find out she cut herself 5 times right on her leg. One of them is deep and is going to scar. I feel as though my heart is going to break in two and
  20. After years of umming and harring about getting a tattoo on my arm to cover/prevent self harm I finally did it yesterday. My arm was aching because I wanted to self harm, not sure why I can't identify a trigger. I was feeling really low and getting agitated scratching at my arm absent-mindedly my boss/friend took me to a tattooist and I got a tattoo. I wasn't sure at first what to get, as the arm I got the tattoo is the side of my body I had decided initially to be my nerdy side, so doctor who and music related and the other side my animal side. But I settled on a butterfly, the butter
  21. I’m 18 year old male who’s been dating his girlfriend for 4 years suddenly the relationship is like walking on egg shells. This Is because I’ve made mistakes in the past, nothing violent or cheating I just get jealous and lose my temper, throwing a tantrum as she’d put it, However to me It’s my way of telling her how I feel, I’ve struggled a lot when growing up with being able to speak my mind and it’s often led to me committing self harm. So to feel like I can’t tell her what upsets me without an argument is killing me inside, I literally can’t even ask her to not call me names like “idiot” o
  22. This is probably going to be a very long rant about SH so I apologize in advance, but if you are a self harmer than you might want to read it because you may find a lot of the things that apply to me also apply to you. But I should probably put in a trigger warning. I personally don't get triggered by this sort of thing but I know others might. Firstly, I call this thing we go do to ourselves self-harm. Simple, blunt and unspecific. It isn't categorized. It doesn't mean only cutters and it doesn't mean emo and it doesn't specify how severe it is and it changes for every person and it doesn'
  23. so...im considering self-harm. i cant talk to my friends or family for fear of disappointing them. i dont want to start, but i find myself becoming more and more tempted by the razor in the bathroom. im scaring myself, so i decided to post this on here because ive had good advice in the past. i really dont want to scar myself - and im not a fan of blood so i would freak out and not know how to deal with it once id made a cut. im wondering, are there any alternatives that wont harm me?????? please help!
  24. So I think ill start with abit of back story, me and my partner got married back in 2011 and have two young boys together and a house, she suffers from severe depression and self harming, about a week ago out of the blue she asks me to leave the home after a few hours of trying to convince her not to make me leave and her telling me to stop being nice [ I had just redone the whole house and started to paint the kids room] when I left she apparently came down going im finally free and that she has been unhappy for awhile and wants a divorce , the friend that saw that told me she was saying i
  25. I am really ashamed and confused. I'm going to be 47 and for the first time last night, I self-harmed. I've been reading up on it because honestly I know nothing about it or why I did it. But what I'm reading seems to makes sense. I went through a very difficult couple of years where everything that could happen did and it ended with a bad break up. I'm currently being treated for depression and take Lexapro. Felt like I was really starting to level off and then just out of the blue, for no reason, I did it. True, this followed on the heels of seeing my X the day before and it was very emotion
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