coollady1957

That was a pretty low thing for them to do. The drinking is definitely not an excuse. I think they both made a conscious choice to have sex and can't blame it on the alcohol. If she loved you and cared for you as she should then she wouldn't have slept with this guy. If he was such a good buddy and friend he also wouldn't have slept with your girl. It is very difficult to regain trust after a cheating episode. Believe me I tried my darnedest to trust my now ex BF after he cheated on me and I gave him a chance to redeem himself. HE failed on the redemption part , and I was not trusting him anyway. There will always be a level of doubt on whether she is or isn't cheating or lying to you again. I don't think either of them deserve you. I would be on the way to finding someone that deserves you in a relationship and finding a new best buddy.

I agree with the others about the scrap book. Your journals will be great as well. My daughter is actually doing something quite similar about her father. She is married now, but no children yet. She is already making a scrap book of her father with pictures, letters, etc. I saved all the little birthday and fathers day cards throughout the years that the children handmade for their daddy. I gave those to her and she has used them in areas of the scrapbook.

Good for you on seeking out support for yourself during this grieving process. AS I said in my first post, my son was having a horrible time after his fathers death. The counseling and support group helped him so much. You are so right about taking it one day at a time. That is about the only way you can do it. Take today and do your best to manage it. Time allows for dealing with it better, but I think we never truly get over it. It just becomes easier eventually, in our mind and thoughts.

Definitely sounds like you have some infection going on with the green yucky stuff coming up and the white discharge from the nose. For sure go to the clinic and get it all checked out. Hope you feel better soon !

I am female and, I am the dumper because he was lying and cheating on me. The words describe my feelings toward him are: Digust, Sickening, Moron, Good Riddance

I think you should press charges as well. And as someone already said, don't go anywhere alone and get yourself some pepper spray. Watch your back at all times. The girl needs to be stopped from doing this. Good luck !

You said for the " last little while" you have had this problem. What is a little while? Days, weeks, etc,, ?? I agree you are quite young for it to be prostate, but you never know for sure until you get it checked.

I can agree that we sometimes unintentionally hurt some people that we love. But I do not think that if we truly love someone that we would want to hurt them to get back at them for something, past or present.

I agree that it wouldn't hurt to try to give her a call again. I'd definitely wait until toward the end of the week, probably Thursday as someone else mentioned. Just call and talk and bring up that you would like to go out again, and see what her response is. If you call her and do not get her, or leave a message , and she still doesn't call then I would just let it go if I were you and not call her anymore. Give it one more try at least.

There is nothing at all wrong with needing a little time to yourself. I think we all need that . NO, you are absolutely not weird for needing your own space once sometimes. Have you ever had partners that have complained to you about the time you need to yourself, or are you just concerned whether it is normal or not to need that " alone time" ?

First of all let me say I am very sorry to hear of your losing your Mother most recently and also for the loss of your brother a few years back. Please accept my most sincere condolences. I can certainly understand your difficulty and the feelings you are going through. I lost my husband In December of 2003, quite suddenly, and so I know what goes through your mind oh so well. I think to an extent what you are feeling is normal and to be expected. No you are not losing your mind, but you may be at a point where some type of counseling could help you deal with it better. My son went through a serious stage of anger at age 17 when his father/ my husband died. He was mad at everyone that still had a father, he was upset with everyone that spoke of their fathers. This was because my son was so mad and upset that he once had a father himself and it had been snatched from him in a blink of an eye. My son realized that even though this was somewhat normal ,he got to a point he felt it was controlling his life and his every thought. We sought counseling for my son and he went through a 6 week program, going twice a week, and it helped him tremendously to overcome the anger phase. IF you are at a point where you feel you are beginning to lash out at those you feel angry with, then you might want to address the issue further with some type of therapy or counseling. There will certainly be a roller coaster of emotions over the next period of time for you. I know that you have lost a brother and have gone through the process of dealing with that so you are no stranger to grief. However, going through the loss of a parent, you will possibly grieve differently and longer. Take care and let us know how you are doing.

I don't think that guys necessarily move on quicker. I really thinks it is all individual and sometimes the reasons behind breakups make it easier or harder to move on . For me it was quite easy for me to move on and forget him after I broke up with my now EX. It was based on the fact that he lied and cheated on me and hid some other important info from me about himself. I heard that he moved on pretty quickly in a matter of days on to the other woman /women ,that he was seeing behind my back. Obviously he didn't love me anyway and had no problem running to another woman. In my case I honestly don't think he has given me a second thought since the day I broke up with him and don't care either. The only time I think of him is during posting like this, where I refer to him to make my point. There are quite a few men and women I have known of that had difficulty moving on after a break up and some that moved on quite nicely. So I really think it's a case by case basis and not a male or female thing on whether or not someone can easily move on.

I am in agreement with WNP. You certainly need to convey to him your concerns. I am not making any excuse of his being rough with you, but is it possible that it was just the excitement of having sex with you for the first time. Maybe he was a bit over zealous with the sexual activity. You could possibly tell him that you really like things when it's a bit slower and gentler. Communication about this is definitely in order. Also , as WNP as already asked, What is he like under general circumstances? Is he aggressive in any other aspect of your relationship?

I am not sure how I would really define what Karma is. But the way I think on things is .... " what goes around comes around", or the eventually people will " reap what they sow". I was in a relationship with a guy for 18 months. I found out that he had cheated on me , not once but three times while we were together. I broke up with him after finding out all he had done to me and all the nasty games he had played behind my back. Not too long after I broke up with this guy I heard that the woman he started seeing after I broke up with him had also kicked him to the curb. I heard that the motor in his car blew up soon afterwards. AND, also that he had not paid his mortgage payment in so long that his home was being foreclosed on, and he was about to be homeless. Also, while he was seeing this other woman he was skipping out on work to go to the next town to see her, so he lost his job and is now only employed on a day basis with a temp service. Seems his life is less than desirable. Even though all that has happened to him has not been relationship related, he has suffered much negativity going on in his life since I broke it off with him. I feel he is in some way suffering for his wrong doings in life. HE was a nasty rats butt >( used in place of the big "A" word ) . I feel he will continue to suffer misfortunes based on his own actions.

Well seems the best I can do for advice is to agree with Annie and DN. I would just move on, forget her and get on with your life. This is not worth your time.

How long ago has it been that this happened? Do you feel you have waited it out long enough? If it has only been quite recently, then I would not press the issue very hard right now. DN's idea might be the way to go. Write him another little note/email and then let it be. Wait for him to contact you. If I were you I would also go on with life and do not let it appear that this is bothering you or getting to you. Also as you mentioned in your post, you definitely do not want to drive him away by acting too desperate .

I am in agreement with Hope and Meow here. Certainly it is possible to get pregnant as Hope mentioned, but not as likely during having your period. Definitely get checked for STD's/STI's since you have only known this guy for a few weeks and probably have no idea of his sexual history. Stay prepared with some type of birth control and do not rely on that "pull out" method .

When my husband and I owned our business, there were many times when I would be on the telephone with a customer rep from out west (CA) or up north ( NY ) , and the person would end up gradually beginning to talk back to me in a slightly southern tone. I was never really sure if they were conscious of that fact or not. I myself thought it was quite amusing.

I didn't think you meant it as insulting to have a southern accent. My point was that southern doesn't necessarily mean " red neck". I agree with the post that mentioned that if you are using bad grammar then you might sound uneducated and "rednecky". Otherwise , if I were you I wouldn't fret much about the southern accent. As I said before , I have had many people, men especially say that the female southern dialect was quite sexy and appealing.

Lady Bugg having a southern accent doesn't make anyone like a " redneck" . Some people feel there is a certain grace with the southern accent . However if it bothers you very much then I guess you should seek voice therapy.

Wouldn't Florida actually be kind of considered "the south".? After all it is in the southeast and is further south than Alabama , Georgia and Mississippi, some of the typically thought of southern states? I realize though that Florida is somewhat of an area where people from many different regions end up flocking to, especially at retirement age. So there are many different accents going on down there. SO where would you consider yourself from , if not the south if you are from Florida?

Has anyone ever said anything negative toward you about your drawl or accent? Maybe it is just something that is annoying only you. IT probably makes no difference to anyone else what you sound like. I am from the south in Alabama and I have many guys tell me that they love the southern drawl/ accent. ON a few occasions though I have had people ask me where I am from because many people say that I have kind of a " generic" accent, and that it would be hard to determine what region I am from just from the accent. If you are very concerned about it I am sure there must be some type of class or voice lessons that you could take if you wanted to change your accent. Personally I wouldn't let it bother me if I were you.

I wish you two well and I hope everything works out that you hope for. Keep open communication and continue to build the trust back. Hopefully your time apart with NC was the time apart you needed for the both of you realize what you really want out of life and each other.

Congratulations to you and your husband. You have taken a major step in life and it can be one of the most rewarding experiences. I wish you all well.

I can understand how your mom feels. I am 48 years old and going through all of the perimenopausal symptoms. It can truly be a nightmare at times. I too have rejected using any medications, supplements or HRT to get through this. I just didn't want to take the risk. I agree with RayKay in that eating healthy, excercising and trying to reduce as much stress as possible will help her get through this. Even if she can just talk to others that are feeling the same things she is going through will help. At least it does help me to talk to others and find out each others remedies for making it through each day. Some days are tougher than others. Certainly the time frame varies person to person on how long it takes to get through this. I hope your mom does well.