coollady1957

Bad hygiene Bad manners Not listening Whining and complaining all the time about something wimps being to rushy and fast in a relationship right away there is probably more I could list but I will stop right there.

At this point I feel you are right. I am not going to throw him out of the possibilities just yet. I would like to continue to see him maybe on a friends basis and see how things progress and transpire with this divorce thing. I do not want to start liking him too much and then for some reason the divorce becomes lengthy or doesn't go through at all . He was lots of fun though. Very easy to talk to, educated, funny, nice manners, and sexy on top of all that. I told this guy the same thing that I told the first guy about wanting to take it slow and that I am just starting back in the dating world again. So I have to sort of test the waters and see how things go.

Update,,,,,,,,,, I had a blast last night with this other guy. We went to this Mexican place called La Fiesta. We had a nice dinner and drinks afterwords while listening to people sing karaoke. It was so much fun. I felt at ease and relaxed and he seemed to be as well. But here is the kicker to this,,,,,, he is going through a divorce and the final papers are not in effect yet. GO figure , that is just my luck. I am afraid to pursue much further until things are legally over with him and his wife. It was the most fun and at ease I have felt in a long time. He was such fun and had the most infectious smile and way about him. GRRRR, and still technically married. This whole dating thing is such a " trip " .

Some of you now about an earlier post I made about my dating apprehensions and whether or not I wanted to pursue doing that or not. Well I had the first date with this one guy that I had posted about below. Afterwords we had a second date. You can find the info on those in the thread below , and mainly post #1 and #17. This same guy has been wanting a third date, but he is wanting to move way too fast. Before the first and second dates were even over he was asking for another. We have only been out twice and he now acts like we are exclusive and I had made it clear at the beginning that I am only just starting dating and trying to figure this thing out again after many years. He is even saying things like " how nice we found each other and have some one to love now" , and calling me " sweetie poo", and " baby doll",, and all this after two dates. He keeps talking about how lonely he is and wants some one so bad in his life. I mentioned moving to north Alabama to be near my kids and he told me...... " honey you don't want to do that now do you, and leave me now , after we found each other?" We have only shared a good night kiss and a hug at the end of the second date, and now he speaks as though something serious is going on....... Wow that just scares me a bit and he seems obsessed , needy or something. I am not sure what to call it. It is like he is not hearing anything I say about taking it slow and that this is just in the early stages of my getting back in the swing of things with dating. So now I have to figure out how to make it clear to him because he does not seem to understand direct words, or doesn't WANT to hear them. Anyway, tonight I have a date with another new guy ( age 51 ) I have been talking to. He sounds nice on the phone and we have spoken regularly by phone for about 6 months now about once week and on line several times a week. Finally tonight we were able to set a date for 7 pm . I am meeting him at a Mexican restaurant in the city for supper and drinks. Hope this one turns out well. And there is yet another guy from Mississippi about 60 miles away that is also wanting to see me in a few weeks. He is 55 yrs old. It is funny how I had decided and resolved in my mind that I was not going to date right now, and then the next thing you know I get all of them in a short amount of time wanting to go out. This is all so crazy for me,,,,,, Wish me luck. If you have any comments please feel free to reply. Thanks Coollady1957 Its 545 PM So I am leaving now to meet him.

I have had quite a few lemons handed over to me as well , I guess that is why I live in margaritaville on occasion.

Mun, I am 85 miles from B'ham. You also asked if he was care giver to his wife while she was ill. From what I gather so far, is that she had heart bypass surgery and contracted a staph infection and her last three months before her death were spent hospitalized. She was his second wife ( supposedly) and she has grown children so he left most of the health and medical decisions up to his wife and her daughters. This guy is very likable, with a very humorous personality. There is a part of me that thinks he would be fun to spend time with , but on the other hand there is something about him that is giving me an uncertain feeling. The second date we just hung out at my house because I had family coming down to visit. My daughter and son in law were down for the weekend for a visit, so I asked the guy to come over and we grilled out , played pool and watched DVD's. My daughter and her husband liked him. On the emotional side of things, I feel I am having a bit of difficulty with being afraid that someone is going to try to play games with me, take advantage of me in some way, and lead me on , just to end up being another player. I keep trying to tell my self that I must to learn to trust again, and that not ALL men are going to be like the EX BF. This guy seems a bit too gung-ho about seeing me. He keeps saying he is tired of being alone since his wife died . The night that we had the first date which was last Wednesday, he was already asking for the second date, which we did this past weekend. At that point he was asking already for the third date before the second one was even over. I have tried to make it clear that I don't want anything that is going to move too fast for me right now, and I thought he understood this. If I accept seeing him for a third time for this upcoming weekend that will be three dates in 10 days , which for me just seems like a lot really fast. He has dated a little since his wife died, but he says that it always ended after the second or third dates, by the choice of the woman. That kind of threw up a " yellow flag" because if he has dated 4 women in the last couple of years and they all ended the dating, then I keep wondering what the problem was. There was also a comment that he made about his marriages that led me to believe that he may not have told me everything about his prior marriages. When we first met on line and talked, he said that he had been married twice. First time divorced, second time his wife died. However during conversation this weekend, he said something about when he met the last woman that was his wife ( the one that died ) , that he had already been married two or three times prior to that. That seemed to contradict his prior statement about marriages. That threw out a flag as well. It started running through my mind, why wouldn't he have told me in the beginning that he had been married more than twice. NO matter how likable this guy is, I am just having some apprehension about things. I have not questioned him about the concerns I have and am not quite sure how to approach the whole thing. Gosh I hate this feeling. If anyone has any thoughts, throw them my way.

I am 85 miles from B'ham.

HI shorty. I am just today finding your posts about your fiancé's car accident. I am certainly sorry to hear of what happened. He is very lucky to be alive. That is really bad about his so called friends fleeing and leaving him like that. I hope everything works out for your trip down to see him and that he is soon back on the road to a full recovery. My thoughts are with you and your fiancée'. Take Care !!

I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. Please accept my sincere condolences.

Well I am not really sure what to tell you. Your thread from back in February says that you are medical doctor ( gastric ) from South Africa, doing your residency in the states. You also mention that you have a rare condition where you are completely covered in hair over your entire body and could not get a girl friend . Now you have joined the national guard. Something just doesn't fit together here. Sorry hun.

Yes you are quite young, but you are a strong person. You can do this. You WILL be a great mom. I know that you love your baby very much already. Your hormones definitely are in a delicate state right now and your emotions can be all over the place. That happens to just about every woman I know that has been pregnant, regardless of age. I would imagine that baby sitting three kids that are quite young in age was a bit overwhelming for you right now. You will be fine. I know you have a lot of head of you, becoming a mother at such a young age. Just realize that your feelings are pretty normal with having the concerns that you are having. Take care girl !! Relax and take a day at a time. Try not to let your mind reel with what is going to happen in the days, weeks, months or even years to come. It will all fall in to place for you.

Ren , I think that is a great idea if you feel the urge to try church again. It could be a refreshing thing for you in my opinion. Hopefully you will meet some nice new people to be friends with. People that can relate to you and have the compassion to reach out to you with open minds and hearts. If I were you I would certainly give it a try and see how things go.

I too am so glad you took the right steps to end this relationship. I realize it is difficult and a lot of hurt inside of you. I agree with RayKay, don't be her therapist so to speak. She may use this as a tool to keep in close contact with you. It would be great if you could go complete NC, but at the very least keep it very very limited if you can. Allow her famiily and friends, to be her shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen when see needs someone. Good luck and stay strong wit this decision. I too feel that you are going to so much better off in the long haul. Take care.

Ren, I am sorry your date didn't go as well as you had hoped for. It certainly is a weird place to be trying to get into the dating scene again. I have times where I think I want to give up trying, and then there are times I keep telling myself to give it a chance. I agree with Ta_ree-saw, in that you are being way too hard on yourself. You are much more attractive and cute than you give yourself credit for.

I noticed that you, Ren and myself ,are all on this new dating thing this week. I have very little skills on the dating thing. I married when I was 18 , so it has been so long since I actually had a date. I too get concerned over whether I will really ever find someone again that I truly click with. Good luck ladies !!

Neutrogena actually makes two great dandruff/scalp treatment shampoos. They are Neutrogena T-Gel and Neutrogena T-Sal. You might check those out, read the bottle first before purchasing and see which fits your needs best.

I thought about it as well that he may have been much more nervous than myself. He did say that he had only had 5 dates since his wife died two years ago, and that nothing progressed beyond a first or second date . Maybe I should give it a second chance, just to be fair and give him the opportunity to become more comfortable. Who knows he may think I am a bit rough around the edges as well, and I have no doubt that I probably am in some peoples eyes. Some one asked earlier if he is overweight, and no he isn't. He only has a bit of what I call a " beer belly". He is quite a good looking guy as far as the physical side of things, and has awesome piercing baby blue eyes.

Here is my new update thread.

Update after the date I was posting about last night in my other thread.. Whew !,,,, Well I made it through the date last night with out being a big bundle of nerves. He was about 15 minutes late, so I started to feel uneasy for a bit. He had forgotten to tell me he had to stop for gas before he headed over. We met at the little restaurant that I had mentioned before. We had a delicious dinner and chatted for quite a while. After the dinner we went over to this casino/bingo/ dog racing establishment and stayed there for about 3 hours playing a few slots,listened to some music and sat in the lounge area and had an after dinner drink. He seemed pretty outgoing , and talkative and we do have a few common interests. He was complimenting me on my hair, because he said he loves long hair on a woman. But he was not being overly flirty or anything. He didn't put any " moves" on me at the end of the evening. Which I was glad I didn't have to deal with that on a first date. But here is the part where I have a little bit of concern. The conversation flowed, as in there were not any awkward quiet moments. However, much of his conversation was about HIM and his late wife. He never really asked that much about me, or my life, kids, family. I heard all about his personal ailments, surgeries, heart attacks, etc. Then I heard a three month scenario of how his wife died. I would try to lead the conversation in a different direction, but each time that I would tell something about myself and my life, and sort of leave the door open for him to ask questions, he would go right back to the conversation about his ailments and his late wife. I was a bit put off by that. I know that I am probably not going to find a guy that is in my age range that absolutely has no health issues ofsome sort. BUT,,,,, gosh , this scared me when he said he had already had two angioplasties, with stent placement and two heart attacks, foot surgery, knee surgery and back surgery. He is 51 years old. Now , he is also a bit " rough around the edges". It is kind of hard to describe what I mean by rough round the edges. Ok , let me put it this way.... he is very very very " country " acting in his ways. As in kind of over the line from country to actually being a " redneck" as we call them in the south. His dining manners while we were having dinner were not that great. You know , talking with food in his mouth, kind of smacking when he talked and ate at the same time. I also kind of like it when a guy is kind enough to open and hold a door for me, but he would open a door and go out first ahead of me. It was like it never dawned on him to hold the door for me. The date has its plus side, in the fact that I got out of the house and actually went some where and had a nice diiner, went to the casino, music, drinks, but on the other hand I am just not sure I am comfortable seeing him again. At times he as pleasant enough, friendly, etc, but there were moments where I just felt out of place with him. He is already wanting to get together Saturday night. No plan was made. I told him we will talk later about it. Don't know how to handle that part just yet as I am not so sure I truly want to see him again. I am having quite a few reservations about letting it go any further with him. It is not my intention to sound as though I am being too picky about things. It is not that I think I am better than he is, but I just feel we have a different style, is the best way I can put it. But what do you all think? Am I too picky, am I too worried about health issues with a potential BF ? Am I expecting too much ?

Ren seems you and I both have had a case of the nerves about dating again. I haven't had much confidence there since the breakup last January.

Well he finally got back in touch with me. I am to meet him at 8 pm at the little country restaurant about 5 miles from my house. We live 30 minutes apart but we both live in tiny little towns away from anything to do other than some little country place to go. It is a nice log cabin rustic type restaurant, and they serve everything from simply burgers to fancy steaks and many different seafoods. It is a nice, quiet little place, so that is where we are going. I have told my brothers were I will be and that I will call them when I get home for the evening. This guy and I do have quite a bit in common it seems from what we have discussed over the phone. We both grew up here, in little rural towns. We both have children about the same age. He is a widower and I am widowed so we have a common ground there to relate to. He likes a lot of the same out door activities that I do. So I guess we will see what happens. I am starting to sweat now,,, ,, feeling a little uneasy,,,,, but hopefully I can suck it up and not let my nervousness show. THanks to all of you for your encouragement toward me on this. I will let y'all know how it goes. I got to go, I meet him in a half hour.

Thanks to all of you for the vote of confidence in me, even if I don't quite feel yet that I have that much going for me. True I haven't met this guy in person. However , through talking to friends and acquaintances I found several people that know him. He lives in the next county over from me, in another small town where my husband and I used to have a customer when we had our business going. So far everyone says he is a good person and nothing to be afraid of but I am not sure how well they can truly know him. . But I do agree with you all that I should possibly meet him at this nice little country restaurant about 5 miles from me. He is so easy to talk to on the phone and I am hoping it will be that way in person. IF by chance it came down to him coming to my house,,, luckily my neighbors on each side of me are my younger but BIG BIG brothers. I have some super dooper body guards if need be. I plan to let them know if it so happens we meet here at my house. That way they could do a spot check on me every now and then, and maybe a phone call during the evening. I went just now and took a shower and washed my hair so as to get ready , just in case he does call back. NO call yet though. So if he doesn't call I guess I am all dressed and ready and no where to go. LOL