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Relationship Coach

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Everything posted by Relationship Coach

  1. Relationship Coach
    Welcome to ENA! You have not really been with her long enough to establish any trust and with him still in the picture, you have a right to be concerned. The only problem is if you complain to her about her being friends with him, she may see you as jealous and insecure which is a big turn off. I'd keep a close eye on the situation and say nothing at this point. If you are constantly afraid of losing her...guess what....you will! Have confidence that you are who she has selected to be with, if her heart returns to him, what can you do about it? You cannot control her feelings. RC
  2. Relationship Coach
    The DETC accreditation is very strong and most employers are satisfied with their curriculum requirements. What is bad is the abundant number of diploma mills popping up. Many brick and mortar universities offer online degree programs, have you looked there as well? What type of degree are you pursuing? RC
  3. Relationship Coach
    A picture is worth a thousand words, so say nothing! Seriously, just give her the picture and leave it at that. RC
  4. Relationship Coach
    UN, First of all I have been following your story and I'm glad you kicked the pills and are doing better in that regard. As for the restoration of your relationship, yes there are many bridges to cross but you'll never get accross bridge #1 as long as you continue with the EX-SEX. This only complicates things for you, gives her more of a position of control over you and delays any chance of bringing the two of you back together. Right now as she shows her wild side to others, she still has a foot in the door with you. She knows that you are a good father and a good provider and a little roll in the hay every now and then keeps you emotionally strapped to her. If you really want her back, you need to show her that you have really made changes in your life and being an occasional piece on the side is not going to cut it for you. She thinks you will wait for here...that's a big part of the problem! Look at how she is thinking! You need to change her way of thinking by stripping her control and moving forward and not waiting around for her to get over herself, her wild side and her newly found figure. Your actions are feeding her fire right now, without wood the fire cannot continue to burn if you get what I mean. RC
  5. Relationship Coach
    If you think of buying a car, let's say a Mustang, you will now notice more Mustangs than ever before! The mind is a powerful thing, you see what the mind seeks. Sooner or later she will fade from your mind and you will see new opportunities, not old memories. RC
  6. Relationship Coach
    For those who qualifiy Medicad is a federally funded state operated health care system. Google it and look up which state you need. RC
  7. Relationship Coach
    Address the issue with her in a nice way so you can put it to rest. If you keep allowing it to eat at you, sooner or later it will come out in an unhealthy way. Deal with it while it's under your control. RC
  8. Relationship Coach
    You need to go from theater mode to TV mode! Theater or stage actors have to often tone down their delivery of lines and expressions when they switch to doing TV or movies. Same thing here applies. Different girl, different venue. You need to be able to adjust and adapt while still maintaining your identity. I know it's hard but tone it down and learn to say I love you and will miss you with a kiss, a hug or a look. RC
  9. Relationship Coach
    Do you care to share more with us so we can try to help? RC
  10. Relationship Coach
    Welcome to ENA! I think the best way for you to discover her orientation is to be friends with her first. Converse more with her and don't become just a customer in her eyes. Once you have become friends you can officially come out to her and either she can accept you and be friends or more or she can be shallow and run. Right now your attraction is physical, get to know her and see if the package suits the wrapping. RC
  11. Relationship Coach
    Very nice! If it helps, keep reading it! RC
  12. Relationship Coach
    Rule number one...go slow! There is no need to rush things, if this is meant to be it will develop naturally at it's own speed. Coming on too strong can scare him away! He sounds like he really likes you and that's a good thing, just let him know you like him but don't act all sprung and silly. RC
  13. Relationship Coach
    Hi and I'm sorry that you are faced with so much at one time! I think a counselor would be great for you because of the issues and feelings that you have towards your mother and her husband. They more than you need the counseling but often that is not possible so the next best thing is to learn how to deal and cope with what you are faced with. Trying to change them as set as they are in their ways now is pretty tough. Finding your biological father sounds like a great adventure, I'm not sure where to point you. Maybe someone else will now read this thread and be helpful. Best of luck! RC
  14. Relationship Coach
    I'm sure Ross will need support as he goes through this very difficult training. I remember when I was little and my father was in Vietnam, my mother and him would exchange tapes. In those days it was reel to reel tapes. I know how it helped me feel closer to him and he still has some of the tapes from 1969. Maybe you could exchange with him micro-cassettes, they are very reasonably priced. Buy two recorders and a package of tapes and an ear piece, who knows your voice may be more soothing. The idea of having someone else help you takes away a bit from what makes you who you are. Either do the best you can writing on your own or try the tape method. RC
  15. Relationship Coach
    Nice, this is a very healthy outlet for you, keep writing! RC
  16. Relationship Coach
    Good question and I'm sure you'll get a variety of thoughts on this. I think most people seem to gravitate to a certain type with some consistency behind it. You often read posts where people talk about always falling for the same type over and over. Failed relationships sometimes will jolt some common sense in to what you now see as attractable qualities in a partner. So yes, IMO once you realize what had attracted you initially probably was not healthy for you in the long run. RC
  17. Relationship Coach
    You don't have to agree or like it but it certainly sounds like that is the case here. Many places have different cultural values than you may accept or understand as normal for where you reside. I agree at the age of 20 or there about you should have more freedoms but you still should respect the rules if you reside there. Moving out is a great solution but I don't think that is viable here. RC
  18. Relationship Coach
    So she defended herself against his harmful words with her fist, and you think that is justified? I know plenty of women who could break a mans nose, bust his lip or even knock out a few teeth. Comparing a punch to the face and a slap on the arm is another poor example of your perception about what is OK. A man is tougher thereforeeee..... What a double standard you are using. I've worked with battered women and battered men and I'm offended at your misconception and lack of universal understanding of the domestic violence. Watch "Snapped" on Oxygen. Do you realize that the escalation cycle of domestic violence is blind to gender? RC
  19. Relationship Coach
    Your parents house, your parents rules! I know that sucks but it's pretty much that way in most homes. I don't know your parents so it's really not for me to comment on how they treat you. It appears that they have very high standards set for you and maybe they are afraid they are losing their grip on you. If you can't afford to move out and live by your own rules, well you are going to have to make the best of what you have. Kill them with kindness and see if they lighten up a bit more. Are your parents having money issues that you know of? RC
  20. Relationship Coach
    Rozi, You're at an age where friends are everything and I know how you feel. Cat seems to be jealous of you is there a reason for this? When was the last time you approached her and tried to rekindle your friendship with her? You need to stand up to her and tell her how you feel and let the others around you see that you are just as worthy of their friendships as Cat is, if not more so. RC
  21. Relationship Coach
    Hello and welcome to ENA! I'm very sorry for what all you have been through but I must say you are a very strong woman. I will answer your questions as best as I can. AA is not an advocate of encouraging spouses to leave their significant other, cancer or no cancer. Self is a huge concept as is reducing stress, very true but the stress of a divorce and a breakdown in the family unit is not considered healthy. He wants to give counseling a try, leave it at that. He is still willing to work on things and that is what is most important here. I would always recommend to keep your expectations realistic and realize that working on a marriage such as yours is a fragile process. You need to do everything you can to get healthy and stay healthy so you can endure whatever comes your way in the future. Next to a healthy body a healthy attitude will carry you beyond what you think you can handle. BTW, I survived my cancer but not my 1st marriage. Today I am remarried, have an 11 month old son and I'm happier than ever. RC
  22. Relationship Coach
    Love shouldn't come to you in the form of a left hook and falling for a guy excludes KO's! Get your apartment, get control of your newly found temper and potty mouth. Things will get better after you have regained your identity. RC
  23. Relationship Coach
    Do yourself a favor....video record it! Priceless memories like this will make everything else better. The sound of a child's laughter soothes the weakest of hearts. RC
  24. Relationship Coach
    But that is no excuse for hitting him. RC
  25. Relationship Coach
    This is not "his" fault, this relationship is full of faults and pressing buttons the way you do is going to cause a reaction as volatile as the two of you are. This isn't even a relationship, there isn't a presense of love, compassion or healthy communication. This is a classic sign of a night in jail or worse for one or both of you. Screaming and yelling at each other is not considered as communication and hitting each other is not an exchange of affection. You need to get out of this relationship right now, there is no other answer to this post. RC
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